Ironeyes

Please constructively criticize my D&D homebrew

10 posts in this topic

Calling all D&D fans, especially experienced players and DMs! I've written a Knight Radiant class, inspired by a similar attempt by some 17th Sharders in the past. Theirs wasn't a caster class, though, and I wanted mine to be a half-caster class. So I borrowed a few ideas and then started from scratch. Now I just need you folks to tear it apart for me. Some friends and I are starting a campaign in a few weeks and I'll take that opportunity to do some playtesting. Any edits and power balances you can suggest before then will make the experience that much more valuable. If you can construct a broken multiclass with one of the orders, do it! That way I can take away your fun by fixing the exploit. Suggestions to bring the abilities more in line with standard 5th Edition language are helpful too. 

Spoilers for all four books, obviously. I completed a full reread as part of the process of writing this, since some of the orders still aren't super deeply explored.         

Knight Radiant Class Manual.pdf

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I haven't seen the subclasses yet. 

However. 

IMO the hit die should be a d10

The heavy armor shardplate feature of "5 + level" shouldn't kick in until level 17

It's not very strong at level 11. It'll be outclassed by any heavy armor you have at that time. At level 17 it's much better 

 

The rest seems pretty cool!

Edited by Okdes
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1 minute ago, Okdes said:

I haven't seen the subclasses yet. 

However. 

IMO the hit die should be a d10

The heavy armor shardplate feature of "5 + level" shouldn't kick in until level 17

It's not very strong at level 11. It'll be outclassed by any heavy armor you have at that time. At level 17 it's much better 

 

The rest seems pretty cool!

The hit die was originally a d10, but with cheap self healing, that felt like it would instantly outclass every other tank in the game. I gave Stonewards an extra HP boost that's equivalent to making their hit die a d10, and powered up Truthwatchers' healing factor. They should be the tankiest subclasses. 

I definitely struggled with the scaling on heavy armor. Should it just be a static boost until Lv17 then? 

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5 minutes ago, Ironeyes said:

The hit die was originally a d10, but with cheap self healing, that felt like it would instantly outclass every other tank in the game. I gave Stonewards an extra HP boost that's equivalent to making their hit die a d10, and powered up Truthwatchers' healing factor. They should be the tankiest subclasses. 

I definitely struggled with the scaling on heavy armor. Should it just be a static boost until Lv17 then? 

The hit die thing is fine then. I retract that one. 

I think it should function as any chosen heavy armor +1 until level 17. The resistance is pretty strong imo.

Edit:

Working at the subclasses- windrunner squires seem a bit situational. 

Skybreaker attack of opportunity thing seems a bit weird for a level 10 feature? It doesn't seem to gel with the rest of the kit in my opinion 

Edited by Okdes
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3 hours ago, Okdes said:

The hit die thing is fine then. I retract that one. 

I think it should function as any chosen heavy armor +1 until level 17. The resistance is pretty strong imo.

Edit:

Working at the subclasses- windrunner squires seem a bit situational. 

Skybreaker attack of opportunity thing seems a bit weird for a level 10 feature? It doesn't seem to gel with the rest of the kit in my opinion 

Funny, those are two abilities I borrowed wholesale from other classes. Strength of Squires is Bardic Inspiration, and Ideal of Crusade comes from the Vengeance Paladin. I wanted Skybreakers to control battlefields, which is why they have Compelled Duel and Hold Person, and other similar spells. It seemed thematically appropriate for them to lock down parties they think deserve some melee-flavored justice. 

3 hours ago, Channelknight Fadran said:

By golly did you make all this???

I'll consider that a compliment :) I either wrote or tweaked all the abilities, then borrowed official art from Brandon's website and the Kickstarter art package. Let's just say my cell bio lecture is really boring. 

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Just now, Ironeyes said:

Funny, those are two abilities I borrowed wholesale from other classes. Strength of Squires is Bardic Inspiration, and Ideal of Crusade comes from the Vengeance Paladin. I wanted Skybreakers to control battlefields, which is why they have Compelled Duel and Hold Person, and other similar spells. It seemed thematically appropriate for them to lock down parties they think deserve some melee-flavored justice. 

I'll consider that a compliment :) I either wrote or tweaked all the abilities, then borrowed official art from Brandon's website and the Kickstarter art package. Let's just say my cell bio lecture is really boring. 

I'm pretty sure I misread the squire thing, then. Which happens. That aside, the rest looks more or less fine. Soulcasting is a bit.... odd, but it seems fine.

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I'll have to read through it tomorrow, but color me impressed by what I've seen through my quick glance at it.

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I hate to double post, but I might be intending to use this in one of my campaigns with proper credit given just because it's so well done. But it won't be a while, so don't expect play testing stuff quite yet.

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On 9/8/2021 at 9:59 PM, Okdes said:

I'm pretty sure I misread the squire thing, then. Which happens. That aside, the rest looks more or less fine. Soulcasting is a bit.... odd, but it seems fine.

It's decidedly odd. I'm afraid if an Elsecaller's DM isn't careful it could break things like dungeon crawls. But I'm proud of the gem shattering part, cause it's both true to flavor and a way the DM can limit the ability. Gems start becoming pretty important loot, especially if players aren't able to buy them.

On 9/9/2021 at 0:35 AM, The Ward's Guard said:

I'll have to read through it tomorrow, but color me impressed by what I've seen through my quick glance at it.

 

On 9/13/2021 at 6:17 PM, The Ward's Guard said:

I hate to double post, but I might be intending to use this in one of my campaigns with proper credit given just because it's so well done. But it won't be a while, so don't expect play testing stuff quite yet.

That's high praise! I'd love to hear how it goes when you get around to that campaign.

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