Kindness and Failure

[Chinkoln]

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“Though,” she said, “as I consider, it might be better to let you lead. That was, we might find our way to the center by accident. Assuming we don’t end up in Azir.”

He gave her a chuckle at that because it seemed the right thing to do. Inside, however, it ripped him apart. He’d failed.

This was a conversation involving Kaladin and Shallan while trapped in the chasms in Words of Radiance.

People take things personally. It is human nature, someone says something as a joke, and another person gets grievously offended. But it’s alright, isn’t it? Everyone does it to each other, so they will get over it. Wrong.

I will give an example from my life. I and my friend (name changed) John have amazing banter. We undermine each other, give quippy remarks, and put in a show for anyone who cares enough to pay attention. We don’t try to draw attention to ourselves, and we really don’t, it’s just the way we act around each other. Like many people these days, the playful banter between friends is often more insulting and demeaning than it is friendly. But I had assumed that because he did it back to me, it must be fine. I wanted to let him enjoy the conversation, even if it shredded my happiness. I recently was talking to him, and to my surprise, he hated it to but kept doing it, because he thought the same thing I did.

Now, this is just one example of people putting on a brave face but actually hating it. My whole reason for writing all this is to try and plead that people be kind. It doesn’t hurt anyone to be kind. If you think that your friends won’t like you if you are kind, then get new friends. 
The LDS church has said something similar in their “For the Strength of Youth” pamphlet.

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Treat everyone with kindness and respect, and refrain from judging and criticizing those around you. Do not participate in any form of bullying.

I can speak from personal experience. Failure (and appendicitis) feels like a knife in the gut. When someone points out failures and shortcomings, it is like that knife is being twisted around. I desperately implore that you do your best to be kind in all instances. Don’t insult people, even in jest. I hate it when people say stuff like this, but in a world where you can be anything, be kind.

Edit: This ended up not being focused around Stormlight Archive. It started when I was rereading WoR, and I used that quote, but it kinda became something else. If any staff think this needs to be moved, feel free to do so

Edited June 24, 2021 by Chinkoln