Dalinar, and Addiction

[Jash]

Trigger Warning : If you are triggered while discussing addiction, please do not read the below. 

Okay, I mentioned this in another thread, but if I'm going to be part of this community, this is absolutely the part of the books I feel the most impact from. Dalinar's addiction to the Thrill hit at home for me. As I mentioned in my other post, I feel something I could call, "The Confidence" while drinking alcohol. Especially when I was in my early and mid 20's, this wasn't much of an issue. I could get the confidence, be drunk, but never go too far. But eventually, like all addictions, I needed it more, and more, and more, and more. There are so many scenes that for me that were hard to read especially in Oathbringer. However, how Dalinar defeats the Thrill, and what he says (calling it old friend, thanking it) has actually inspired me. I feel that I have a better handle of my addiction after reading his parts. It was so nice to read someone experiencing the hardships I had faced, and also that his addiction was to more of an emotion than the substance itself (as it was for me, it's not like I love alcohol or even that I get withdrawal symptoms, it's that I love, love that feeling of confidence), and then it was nice how he said goodbye to the thrill. 
For me, the confidence led to many successes (I met practically everyone I ever dated while under its effects, including my amazing partner) and I met many friends with it as well. I felt like a king, like I controlled the room while under its influence. However, eventually much like Dalinar experienced post-war (in my case I was in long term relationships and was working on deeper non-drinking friendships, haha, I guess you could see it as the equivalent of no more war lolololol) it became a detriment. I began to black out, I began not know when to stop, and even when I set limits, I would end up going beyond those limits once I was in "the confidence" because I didn't want it to leave. Eventually this damaged friendships, and my final relationship before I met my partner (don't worry, I never physically hurt anyone, I'm a very non-violent person...emotional hurt, emotional hurt). After meeting my partner, I knew I needed a change, I realized finally I was addicted to it. However, I even at this time could never quite get what I was addicted to, I thought it was just alcohol, so I was stricter about how often I could go drinking, and how many drinks I could have while drinking. This helped immensely. My partner in our 7 years of a relationship, has only seen me "trashed" twice, and once nothing bad happened, I was just...messy. After the second time, where we had a fight and I yelled at her, ....I even more knew that I had to change. I couldn't lose another relationship because of this addiction. The whole point of "the confidence" was to gain relationships, not lose them. This, which happened around 2 years ago, is when I finally realized what I was actually addicted to. I realized it was that feeling, and not alcohol itself. This led to better ways of controlling my addiction. Even before reading the book, I had figured out that I couldn't follow that feeling, and surprisingly just the knowledge, "Hey, it's the feeling you like" was enough that I stopped drinking as much. I did continue my lose drink maximum, but I ..basically never reach it anymore. I also spend time with people who understand I have this addiction, and will watch me, but...again, I've never needed it. The confidence does still come, although never like before. And that is okay. It served me and helped me, but now I don't need it. Anways, Dalinar's story helped me summarize it even better, and has helped me even more to understand my addiction and what sets it off. Avoiding triggers, understanding I don't need it anymore, all of this is important. 

My point of making this topic was to let people know you can move past your addiction. You can find ways to control it, and to manage it, and I think that Dalinar's storyline is one that not only helped me, but..actually I wish I had read earlier, back when I didn't understand my addiction as well. I was wondering if anyone was helped by these books looks into mental health care. I know my friend who actually recommended the books related to Kaladin a ton, and his depression; and so his entire reason for recommending the books were very similar to me...so I am guessing there most be others like us out there. Anyways, share your stories, or don't. I pretty much revealed myself here lol. I hope others read these books and enjoy them like I do though^^. 

[RedBlue]

Thank you for sharing this. 

I have relatives on both sides of my family who have struggles with various addictions. There are a lot of sad stories there, and so far none of them have recovered. It’s really nice to know that somebody out there managed to overcome their addiction, that it’s not a thing that only happens in books.