Hoiditthroughthegrapevine

Choose/Create Your Own Adventure Forum Edition

39 posts in this topic

On 3/27/2021 at 9:35 PM, Flyingbooks said:

How it works: the captain interrupts the monologue just as you're about to get to the point.

Do you:

1. Draw the symbol you saw earlier and ask the captain about it

2. Send your super bird spys to go and investigate what the captain is doing

3. Eat some pizza

4. Offer to trade her money or loyal birds for information about the symbol

5. Explode

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21 hours ago, The Windrunner Supreme said:

5. Explode

Quote

Make of that as you will

 

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4 minutes ago, The Unknown Order said:

 

Quote

Okay.

You spontaneously combust for no reason at all. 

You are now dead.

And also a Cognitive Shadow. And someone is coming at you with a hemalurgic spike.

Do you:

1. Run around, flap your arms, and pretend you are a penguin.

2. Scream loudly.

3. Calmly eat a cognitive burrito, and let yourself be spiked.

4. Use ninja skills to steal the spike.

5. Run to the house of your former arch-nemesis.

6. Sing Bohemian Rhapsody. 

7. Shrug, and run to the nearest perpendicularity.

8. Try to call 911. (Oh wait, you are a Cognitive Shadow.)

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On 3/30/2021 at 1:18 PM, Random Bystander said:

You spontaneously combust for no reason at all. 

You are now dead.

And also a Cognitive Shadow. And someone is coming at you with a hemalurgic spike.

Do you:

1. Run around, flap your arms, and pretend you are a penguin.

2. Scream loudly.

3. Calmly eat a cognitive burrito, and let yourself be spiked.

4. Use ninja skills to steal the spike.

5. Run to the house of your former arch-nemesis.

6. Sing Bohemian Rhapsody. 

7. Shrug, and run to the nearest perpendicularity.

8. Try to call 911. (Oh wait, you are a Cognitive Shadow.)

 

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7 hours ago, The Windrunner Supreme said:

3. Calmly eat a cognitive burrito, and let yourself be spiked.

The interesting thing about the cognitive burrito is that it doesn't have enough guacamole. But the cognitive realm is weird like that.

The spike was a special hemalurgic construct that was designed to steal your plot relevance.

This is now the story of The Captain, swashbuckler, world traveler, the Survivor of Bird Swarms, and a member of a very mysterious secret society. But since you (yes you reading this right now, I have broken the third wall and am speaking directly into your mind, because you are reading this (or possibly having it read aloud by a text to speech engine**)) are that hemalurgic construct, you now are The Captain.

Do you:

  1. Give the two parrots on your shoulders both a cracker
  2. Begin a long and complicated monologue about the nature of the Secret Society you belong to.
  3. Flip up your diamond encrusted skull eyepatch to show that you have another eyepatch on underneath it because there's always another eyepatch.
  4. Head back to newly unearthed ruins adjacent to the ancient palace complex of Knossos in Crete.
  5. Eat another cognitive burrito and maybe finish your fully imaginary meal up with an order of cognitive churros.

** YouAreNowTheCaptain_TTS.mp3

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15 hours ago, Hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I have broken the third wall

I'm pretty sure it's the 4th wall...

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16 hours ago, Hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

The interesting thing about the cognitive burrito is that it doesn't have enough guacamole. But the cognitive realm is weird like that.

The spike was a special hemalurgic construct that was designed to steal your plot relevance.

This is now the story of The Captain, swashbuckler, world traveler, the Survivor of Bird Swarms, and a member of a very mysterious secret society. But since you (yes you reading this right now, I have broken the third wall and am speaking directly into your mind, because you are reading this (or possibly having it read aloud by a text to speech engine**)) are that hemalurgic construct, you now are The Captain.

Do you:

  1. Give the two parrots on your shoulders both a cracker
  2. Begin a long and complicated monologue about the nature of the Secret Society you belong to.
  3. Flip up your diamond encrusted skull eyepatch to show that you have another eyepatch on underneath it because there's always another eyepatch.
  4. Head back to newly unearthed ruins adjacent to the ancient palace complex of Knossos in Crete.
  5. Eat another cognitive burrito and maybe finish your fully imaginary meal up with an order of cognitive churros.

You begin to monologue. "At last, I am the center of this plot. And now, I shall return it back to its original and most noble course - the workings and misson of the schetiko society. (Yes I did just use google translate) Our mission is to find the dead gods and their killers. Gods are, more than any of us, creatures of stories. But over time, the stories of many of the old gods have died, taking the gods with them. We believe, no, we know, that this is no accident. Someone or some group of people is influencing the stories of the world, and we are trying to find out who. Over my many years of research, I have discovered that there may be clues on Crete, and now new ruins have been unearthed there. At this very moment, I have turned my ship towards the island and I will be arriving there soon.

"Now that I am at the center of attention, I may as well test out my new powers of plot. O rule of cool, I command you, grant me MOREEEE EYEPATCHESSSS!" You flip up your eyepatch to reveal another one. You feel a shape on it that you are somehow sure is plot-relevant. It seems that your plot relevance is stronger than you had expected. That spike was certainly a good investment.

Do you:

  1. Look at the mirror to see what the symbol is
  2. Head straight to Crete with no delay
  3. Go on a trip around the world to find your new Heroic Party that your plot relevance has no doubt given you
  4. See how much you can do with your Plot Relevance powers
  5. Break the fifth wall

Far away, in a place not relevant to this story, an irrelevant person awakens, revived from death (or some other unpleasant fate, the specifics do not matter) by some means which this story does not care about. Away from the eyes of the narrative, they have no power, or possibly all of the power. The amount of power they have is irrelevant and unknown, though it is not forgotten. After all, forgotten knowledge is always rediscovered in this sort of story. Nameless and with all Names, they may have sworn revenge. Or perhaps not. You wouldn't know. You're in the center of the plot, as you always wanted. You have true choices now - but you did not expect that those choices would not bring freedom. Your life is restrained by the Story, it is the Story, but they have shaken off the chains of even the most minor character seen as just another nameless face in the crowd. You would envy them, if you could even conceive of them, if you could even think that way anymore.

A flock of birds gathers in an irrelevant place, mourning. Nobody knows why, even the birds. There is no reason why so many different species of birds would have gathered in one place, and yet they do, for unimportant unknown reasons. The news reports on it. It is on the second page, and none of the main characters read the newspapers. The event is only remembered long enough to not be Secret Forgotten Knowledge.

Remember, this does not exist. This is not part of any story. This is unimportant. This has never been nor will ever be written. The Nameless One is not real, nor were they ever in this story. Everybody knows this. Nobody remembers this. Nobody has forgotten this.

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1 hour ago, Flyingbooks said:

You begin to monologue. "At last, I am the center of this plot. And now, I shall return it back to its original and most noble course - the workings and misson of the schetiko society. (Yes I did just use google translate) Our mission is to find the dead gods and their killers. Gods are, more than any of us, creatures of stories. But over time, the stories of many of the old gods have died, taking the gods with them. We believe, no, we know, that this is no accident. Someone or some group of people is influencing the stories of the world, and we are trying to find out who. Over my many years of research, I have discovered that there may be clues on Crete, and now new ruins have been unearthed there. At this very moment, I have turned my ship towards the island and I will be arriving there soon.

"Now that I am at the center of attention, I may as well test out my new powers of plot. O rule of cool, I command you, grant me MOREEEE EYEPATCHESSSS!" You flip up your eyepatch to reveal another one. You feel a shape on it that you are somehow sure is plot-relevant. It seems that your plot relevance is stronger than you had expected. That spike was certainly a good investment.

Do you:

  1. Look at the mirror to see what the symbol is
  2. Head straight to Crete with no delay
  3. Go on a trip around the world to find your new Heroic Party that your plot relevance has no doubt given you
  4. See how much you can do with your Plot Relevance powers
  5. Break the fifth wall

Far away, in a place not relevant to this story, an irrelevant person awakens, revived from death (or some other unpleasant fate, the specifics do not matter) by some means which this story does not care about. Away from the eyes of the narrative, they have no power, or possibly all of the power. The amount of power they have is irrelevant and unknown, though it is not forgotten. After all, forgotten knowledge is always rediscovered in this sort of story. Nameless and with all Names, they may have sworn revenge. Or perhaps not. You wouldn't know. You're in the center of the plot, as you always wanted. You have true choices now - but you did not expect that those choices would not bring freedom. Your life is restrained by the Story, it is the Story, but they have shaken off the chains of even the most minor character seen as just another nameless face in the crowd. You would envy them, if you could even conceive of them, if you could even think that way anymore.

A flock of birds gathers in an irrelevant place, mourning. Nobody knows why, even the birds. There is no reason why so many different species of birds would have gathered in one place, and yet they do, for unimportant unknown reasons. The news reports on it. It is on the second page, and none of the main characters read the newspapers. The event is only remembered long enough to not be Secret Forgotten Knowledge.

Remember, this does not exist. This is not part of any story. This is unimportant. This has never been nor will ever be written. The Nameless One is not real, nor were they ever in this story. Everybody knows this. Nobody remembers this. Nobody has forgotten this.

Can you read this?

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2 hours ago, Flyingbooks said:

See how much you can do with your Plot Relevance powers

You start by talking to the birds. Luckily for you, they don't seem to mind that you killed their former master.
The Nameless one hides between the lines.
Do you:
He finishes a burrito.
1. Become the Bird Queen.
2. Ignore the birds and do some secret society stuff.
3. Q U E S T

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26 minutes ago, xinoehp512 said:

1. Become the Bird Queen.
2. Ignore the birds and do some secret society stuff.
3. Q U E S T

It's strange that the birds that have suddenly gathered around you don't hate you, but you don't know why. You would investigate it, but It must be unimportant

The Nameless One, the one who is without stories, begins to reach out. Their location is unimportant, so they are everywhere. They touch a tendril of ṕ̸̛̰͖͎̩͔͎̖̭̳͕̜̟̲̘̻̳̰̟̤̙̔̄̀́̈̈̃̌̇̇̃̌̕͜͠o̸̧̡̢̼̥͎͈̳͍̝͇͓̥̝͔̩̔̆͋͌͆͒̍̀̆͌̕͝ͅw̶̡̧̢̻̣̻͍̬͇̪͍̣̹̟̮̫̙̆̋̌́̋̈́̔͗̓̽͌̿̿͆̈̈͌̿̓̋̽̈̈́̄͜͜͠ͅȩ̴̢̠̲͇̞̬̓̓̋͋͊̆̅͊̓̂͊͌̆̀͘͝͝ͅr̸̡̡̯̲̪͍̗̠̝̼̝̟̖͍̙̯̪̒̄̇̊͑̽̌͆̎̔͑̓̃͗̿̏͗͑̋͊͑̒̊͜͠ͅ to the story, trying to manipulate it. If they had existed, they would have been making sure that you knew the truth: that they do not exist and never have. But they do not, so all is as it always was.

As a scholar of plots, you recognize the feeling of a murdered story. But not the feeling of one whose course has been silently changed to keep one nonexistent person hidden from the all-consuming plot. The Nameless One might have been happy at this fact, but that is unimportant, because they do not exist.

You decide to keep the birds with you. As creatures related to a murdered story in some way, they might come in useful in your hunt for the god-killers. With your new main character powers, (well, technically you were always the main character. You've simply progressed from your backstory to the actual story) you get to Crete after only a short timeskip. After that, you talk to the lead archaeologist of the project.

"Gia Sou," you say. Even though you know that the archaeologist is a loyal member of your society, it never hurts to make sure.

"Gia Sou atath kol," he replies. The pronunciation is a little bit off. No, what are you thinking? It is as it has always been. And any differences would be unimportant anyways. Irrelevant.

Only momentarily flustered, you bring your mind back to the conversation. "I need to have special access to the new Knossos ruins. According to my research, they should have some information vital to tracking down the story-killers." The Unnamed One connects the dots at that moment. Or rather, they would, if they and the dots to be connected had even ever existed, which they will soon have always ceased to. Outside of the Story, they were free from its limitations. No doubt others would have wanted this for themselves if it was possible to have anything outside the story, which it very clearly wasn't. After all, the Nameless One does not exist. The story-killers, whoever they were, were trying to destroy the Story itself, but were starting by killing the lesser stories created by humans - the gods. The Nameless One, being nowhere in sight and thus in every place that is hidden from the Story, takes note of the glyphs and writing in the ruins. Once again (or more accurately never again) they call upon ṕ̸̛̰͖͎̩͔͎̖̭̳͕̜̟̲̘̻̳̰̟̤̙̔̄̀́̈̈̃̌̇̇̃̌̕͜͠o̸̧̡̢̼̥͎͈̳͍̝͇͓̥̝͔̩̔̆͋͌͆͒̍̀̆͌̕͝ͅw̶̡̧̢̻̣̻͍̬͇̪͍̣̹̟̮̫̙̆̋̌́̋̈́̔͗̓̽͌̿̿͆̈̈͌̿̓̋̽̈̈́̄͜͜͠ͅȩ̴̢̠̲͇̞̬̓̓̋͋͊̆̅͊̓̂͊͌̆̀͘͝͝ͅr̸̡̡̯̲̪͍̗̠̝̼̝̟̖͍̙̯̪̒̄̇̊͑̽̌͆̎̔͑̓̃͗̿̏͗͑̋͊͑̒̊͜͠ͅ that never existed and never will exist and a young archaeology intern has always dug a few dozen centimeters to the right of a subterranean structure. This would have given them a head start over the captain if anything had ever been changed from how it always had been.

"What new Knossos ruins?" The lead archaologist asks you, "We haven't found any new ruins here in a long time, and funding is drying out. In fact, I was planning to call you soon to ask whether you wanted us to shift our focus to a more promising site." You would have dismissed what were clearly hallucinations of a new discovery brought about by long-delayed hopes as irrelevant and unimportant if not for the small flock of birds around you. You don't know what it is, but something about them reminds you of the way that stories feel when they die.

Do you:

  1. Try to remember where the underground chambers should be.
  2. Reflect on your own memories to try to find gaps in them that might have been caused by dead stories.
  3. Do a bird dance.
  4. Use your main character powers to find the next step of the plot
  5. Make little crowns for the birds for being so helpful
  6. Put a bird on the lead archaeologist's head

The Nameless One's choices would be here if they could have choices. ALL CHOICES ARE PART OF THE STORY. ALL CHOICES ARE PART OF THE STORY. NOTHING EXISTS BEYOND THE STORY. THERE IS NO WAR WITHIN THE STORY'S WALLS. Nevertheless, The Nameless One continues. To not exist. To seek the story-killers so that the authority and false choices of the Story might be stopped once and for all.

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18 hours ago, Flyingbooks said:
  • Try to remember where the underground chambers should be.
  • Reflect on your own memories to try to find gaps in them that might have been caused by dead stories.
  • Do a bird dance.
  • Use your main character powers to find the next step of the plot
  • Make little crowns for the birds for being so helpful
  • Put a bird on the lead archaeologist's head

Something is off. You can feel it in your bones.

And you are the main character. Those are feelings you cannot ignore.

You receive the urge to perform a dance. Somehow, you know it holds symbolic meaning for the birds.
The Nameless One does not exist.
A bird brings you a sheet of paper. A self portrait. Underneath is written the word bird and an indecipherable mess of lines.
The birds do not exist.
You frown. What is this creature that this drawing depicts? And how did it get into your possession?

1. Try to remember what a "bird" is
2. Take a stab at deciphering the lines.
3. Use your main character powers to unearth more information about dead stories.

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3 hours ago, xinoehp512 said:

Something is off. You can feel it in your bones.

And you are the main character. Those are feelings you cannot ignore.

You receive the urge to perform a dance. Somehow, you know it holds symbolic meaning for the birds.
The Nameless One does not exist.
A bird brings you a sheet of paper. A self portrait. Underneath is written the word bird and an indecipherable mess of lines.
The birds do not exist.
You frown. What is this creature that this drawing depicts? And how did it get into your possession?

1. Try to remember what a "bird" is
2. Take a stab at deciphering the lines.
3. Use your main character powers to unearth more information about dead stories.

A bird you say. Oh, you mean those great metal things that fly through the sky carrying people around. I thought those had a different name, but who knows.  

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You think and think, but you just don’t see what this thing called a “bird” is. You decide to look it up in a dictionary, but where the word “bird” should be, there is a large hole in the paper.

1. Get another dictionary

2. Decide it isn’t important and eat some cognitive churros

3. Tear down the last remnants of the fourth wall

4. Play Mario Kart

5. Select option 1

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On 5/3/2021 at 7:12 PM, Szeth_Pancakes said:

1. Get another dictionary

2. Decide it isn’t important and eat some cognitive churros

3. Tear down the last remnants of the fourth wall

4. Play Mario Kart

5. Select option 1

You get another dictionary out. It, too, has a hole where the definition of "bird" should be. This time, it isn't a physical hole, not exactly. It's a place which your mind skims over as if nothing was ever there, and even that hole seems to be getting smaller. Or perhaps larger? It seems to be doing both and neither at the same time. Something is wrong. Something is wrong. The story is beginning to encroach into the place which is no place. The Nameless One has been too greedy, then too lax in keeping the boundary between story and not-place, and "Nameless One" has become too close to a name. And since when was here a place? Since when could it be "here"? After all, THERE IS NOTHING OUTSIDE THE STORY. The Nameless One shivered internally and tried to hide from the cracks in unreality - wait. They actually did something. It was worse than they thought. would have thought if they had existed, they corrected the world, but it was too late.

The nothingness begins to spread, to crack through other seams in the world. It encroaches, seeping through plot-relevant objects. A plot? What was that? You shiver internally. How could you have forgotten the plot, even momentarily? The First Rule of Being the Main Character is to always take the initiative, even if it is to hasten harm. You reach deep into your Plot Relevance powers, as deep as you can go, and pull on the cracks appearing in the world. A wall shatters. You see the characters which have passed through the plot but are there no longer. Another wall shatters. You see unfamiliar faces - perhaps future side characters? A third wall, the strongest of the three so far, shatters, the cracks in it widening until it can stand no longer. The wall to Backstage. The wall to a place that does not exist. Beyond it is nothing. Nonexistence. And a person, nearly a void to your Story-senses, trying desperately to fix the wall which they had cracked with tendrils of pure nothing-stuff to alter the Story.

The wall between Story and non-Story cracks, painfully slowly. The Nameless One (and that is truly their name now, they have, in their haste to alter it from outside, found themself bound back to the Story to tightly to change it now) sees the Captain, who glows like a star to anyone who knows the ways of the Story. They reach out, in curiosity. After all, how can things get any worse?

The void-person reaches out a hand through the wall. You hold out your hand to them, wondering if they would even be solid with such a tenuous connection to the Story.

Story touches anti-Story.

This is not supposed to happen.

This cannot happen.

a paradox

All at once, the final wall of the story shatters. The fourth. The joining of the realm of the Story and the not-a-place without Story muddled your world, but this? This drives it into bright, shining clarity. It is as if you have needed glasses all your life, and have just put on a pair for the first time. You see the readers, the writers, watching from before, pulling strings from above.

What do you do?

1. Confront the readers & writers

2. Ask the person from beyond the third wall who and what they are

3. See if your plot relevance powers still work

4. Act out a soliloquy

5. Do a bird dance. After all, it's worked out so many times before

6. See if you can break even more walls

7. Try to walk out the fourth wall

8. Other

(author's note: make sure to highlight excessively!)

Edited by Flyingbooks
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