More Cynical Than Funny

Horrific ships that shouldn't exist

24 posts in this topic

Well we all have done it at some point

Have some horrific ships

Spoiler
  • Pattern x Nightblood [Patterblood]
  • Hoid x Kaladin [Hoidaladin]
  • Shallan x Jasnah [Shallnah]
  • Szeth x Adolin [ Szeodlin ]
  • Lukle x Raoden [ Lukden ]
  • Cultivation x Lift

Enjoy

Edited by More Cynical Than Funny
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My personal horrible ship is Nightblood x Chiri-Chiri

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Spoiler

Rayse x Cultivation [Raysecult]

Wayne x Mrs. Deadfinger [Wafinger]

Jasnah x Amaram [Jamaram]

Ati x Leras [Atleras]

Raoden x Telrii [Raodii, pronounced "rowdy"]

Soine x Roiall  [Soiall, pronounced "soil"]

Bluefingers x Nightblood [blueblood]

Arsteel x Fafen [Arsen, pronounced "arson"]

Breeze x Spook [Brook]

First, am I doing it right?  Second, I'm so very very sorry and we should all be ashamed of this thread.

Edited by Aliroz-The-Confused
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41 minutes ago, Aliroz-The-Confused said:
  Hide contents

Rayse x Cultivation [Raysecult]

Wayne x Mrs. Deadfinger [Wafinger]

Jasnah x Amaram [Jamaram]

Ati x Leras [Atleras]

Raoden x Telrii [Raodii, pronounced "rowdy"]

Soine x Roiall  [Soiall, pronounced "soil"]

Bluefingers x Nightblood [blueblood]

Arsteel x Fafen [Arsen, pronounced "arson"]

Breeze x Spook [Brook]

First, am I doing it right?  Second, I'm so very very sorry and we should all be ashamed of this thread.

Any horrific ship is right (I love Raysecult)

Ships do not need to be canon to be a ship. If they loose there purpose as fan ship.

Spoiler

Kelsier and Khriss

 

Edited by More Cynical Than Funny
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1 hour ago, More Cynical Than Funny said:

Any horrific ship is right (I love Raysecult)

Ships do not need to be canon to be a ship. If they loose there purpose as fan ship.

Raysecult is especially wrong because of a bunch of spoiler reasons and the longer I think about it the more wrong it gets...

 

Also, Daddy Gavvy seemed to be a Jamaram shipper.

Edited by Aliroz-The-Confused
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2 hours ago, More Cynical Than Funny said:

Well we all have done it at some point

Have some horrific ships

  Hide contents
  • Pattern x Nightblood [Patterblood]
  • Hoid x Kaladin [Hoidaladin]
  • Shallan x Jasnah [Shallnah]
  • Szeth x Adolin [ Szeodlin ]
  • Lukle x Raoden [ Lukden ]
  • Cultivation x Lift

Enjoy

NO!!!

Spoiler

I personaly think Hoid and Kelsier would be better. Or at least more funny.

 

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6 minutes ago, Retrac said:

NO!!!

  Hide contents

I personaly think Hoid and Kelsier would be better. Or at least more funny.

 

Uh no Fuzz/Kelsier is best

 

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True true.

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Any ship that involves

Spoiler

mah boi Leras

belongs in this thread.

 

Also, (spoilers All) on Raysecult

Spoiler

Oh gosh, he not only killed her REAL husband Tanavast, he even tries to corrupt the child/children they had, and make them "his".  Ick, ick, ick!  What a creep!

 

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...except for I guess the incestuous (and major age difference, I only skimmed so there may or may not be any of those on here) ones, I don't really think any of these are terrible? Some are unhealthy, some are just weird and many are rarepairs, but that doesn't make them a bad ship.

Edit: Also, one of these days I'm totally gonna write a crack fic of Nightblood and Chiri-Chiri. I keep saying this and it keeps not happening but ONE DAY. :P

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17 hours ago, Aliroz-The-Confused said:

Ati x Leras [Atleras]

This is an actual Ship...

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Ati x Leras is an *awesome* ship.

The true Horrific ship that should not exist:

Spoiler

Dalinar x Lift : Dalift

 

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18 hours ago, More Cynical Than Funny said:

Shallan x Jasnah [Shallnah]

Pretty sure this is also a heavily shipped pairing.

8 minutes ago, Fezzik said:

This is an actual Ship...

Can confirm, Atras/Lerati is a great ship. Enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, opposites attract, you can do so much with it. Oh no I started thinking of modern Earth AUs help

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Shallan x Stick. No burning love there

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Veil x Radiant

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7 minutes ago, mathiau said:

Veil x Radiant

You know that inter-system romantic relationships do actually happen, right?

I'm sorry to be everyone's buzzkill, I'm just raising my eyebrow a lot at the thread because I really don't see what's wrong with 95% of these ships.

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Just now, AonEne said:

You know that inter-system romantic relationships do actually happen, right?

I'm sorry to be everyone's buzzkill, I'm just raising my eyebrow a lot at the thread because I really don't see what's wrong with 95% of these ships.

I see Veil x Radiant as twincest

But yeah most of them are just random ship that has no chance to happen and not ships that are fundamentally wrong

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3 minutes ago, AonEne said:

Pretty sure this is also a heavily shipped pairing.

Huh I just have been using it as a crempot ship

Just now, AonEne said:

I'm sorry to be everyone's buzzkill, I'm just raising my eyebrow a lot at the thread because I really don't see what's wrong with 95% of these ships.

Yeah... I made this for insane ships because well we all need a place to vent out crempot ships

and what Mathiau said

10 minutes ago, mathiau said:

But yeah most of them are just random ship that has no chance to happen and not ships that are fundamentally wrong

 

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I think Patterblood would work pretty well.

19 hours ago, More Cynical Than Funny said:

Well we all have done it at some point

Have some horrific ships

  Hide contents
  • Pattern x Nightblood [Patterblood]
  • Hoid x Kaladin [Hoidaladin]
  • Shallan x Jasnah [Shallnah]
  • Szeth x Adolin [ Szeodlin ]
  • Lukle x Raoden [ Lukden ]
  • Cultivation x Lift

Enjoy

 

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I mean, most of these are just rarepairs, and the rest of them are crack pairs. And some are like genuinely good ships

Edited by theTruthshaper
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Why does this have so much mod attention?

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This is not an official mod post, just my personal opinion, but I'll be honest, threads like this feel like they're in bad taste. I mean, crackships can be fun sometimes, but whenever somebody tries to make "ha ha, these ships are so terrible no one would ever ship them" lists for the lulz, they almost inevitably end up listing something that, go figure, people do legitimately ship. 

Shasnah was like, one of the most popular ships in the early fandom era and it's still extremely popular. Heck, I've written Shasnah fic as a present for a friend and I don't even ship it. There's 15 fics on AO3 tagged for the pairing right now. And the "I have a baby bi crush that I don't realize is a crush on how pretty and perfect and wonderful my mentor is" energy that Shallan put out in Way of Kings led to someone bringing it up to Brandon, who thought it was such a valid reading, it's now a canon part of her character. 

Ati and Leras are a pretty straightforward pairing too. Two gods who knew each other (presumably) before their ascension, locked in a cosmic battle for eons? Enemies to lovers is an easy dynamic to pull there. My friend who really likes shipping Ruin and Rashek probably feels similarly. I've got a discord server that regularly brings up Vinrianne headcanons and cute ideas for that ship. I personally ship Mraize/Veil because I loved their early dynamic so much, even though it's definitely something that's wildly unhealthy and definitely would be a toxic relationship. 

A lot of these ships are, like Ene said, maybe a rarepair, but there's nothing Objectively Terrible about them. Maybe you think they're weird or the dynamic is one you don't think you'd like, but taste is, shockingly, subjective. Your "awful" ship might be someone's OTP. Sure, there's plenty on this list that are just kind of dartboard throws, like the kind of thing that spits out of the random generator on a Ship It or Rip It Shardcast episode, but there's plenty here that are like... just normal ships. Some are even popular! And when you have made a thread about "ha, ha, let's make fun of how awful all of these are" and you picked something that many people in the fandom legitimately care about, it's kind of a jerk move. Egg on the face moment, sorry.

These ships are actually out there and people care about them and some of those people even make content for it. There's a really unfortunate trend on 17S, both now and historically, of treating shipping like it's just a funny joke, it's that gross thing that other people do, let's make fun of it, or whenever the topic comes up, let's talk about how terrible it is, actually. And as someone who genuinely enjoys caring about character relationships? It's exhausting. It's not really funny, because it's every time. I'm happy to joke around about funny crackships with people I know respect shippers or are shippers themselves. But when people who don't ship come in and want to make jokes—haha let's find the worst ship guys!—more often than not it feels like shipping itself is what's being made fun of. And it's really not fun at all. 

Anyway, like I said at the top, this isn't mod action, this is just Feather's personal opinion. I think this thread's in bad taste and I'm not a fan, but I don't think anyone's planning to shut it down or whatever. 

42 minutes ago, Frustration said:

Why does this have so much mod attention?

A lot of times mods look at posts because something has already been moderated in them, quietly and without fuss. Other times, a mod cleans something up and links the thread to the other staff for record-keeping, so staff members click the link to see context. Or a member brought a thread to our attention. Or someone just thought something was funny. A lot of times, moderation gets done in private because it's polite that way and we'd rather not distract from the thread by making a scene. Making a brand new post to draw attention to it with a post is kind of the opposite of helpful. And it's definitely not on topic. Sure, sometimes mods viewing a post means we're discussing something, or something might happen in the future, but a lot of times it doesn't.

I promise, you guys will be better off just letting the mods do our thing and not intentionally working up a panic or reading the tea leaves of who's viewing a post. It really doesn't mean as much as you think. If a thread needs public moderation, we'll post about it. If you break the rules, you'll hear from us. Really, you don't need to worry about anything else. Or post things that will make other people worried about it. Like I said: opposite of helpful.

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7 hours ago, More Cynical Than Funny said:

Guuuuys 

Kelsier and Nightblood 

Isn't that one cannon?

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