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So first, I don't know if anyone around here read the Underland Chronicles by Suzanne Collins. It's kind of one of my favorite book series, and to tell you the truth, I probably like it more than the Hunger Games, because even though it might not be better written, I dislike some elements in THG, which are thankfully absent from TUC. If you haven't read the series I'd say it's pointless to read on - not only my writing is not that good, not only even it'll spoil you the book: the point of this fanfic will make sense only if you read the whole UC series, so you'll understand nothing.

BTW, before I write it you should know it's not anything pre-written. Just thought of the idea and wrote. I probably won't be true enough to the characters, and for that I am sorry.

Now, without farther ado, here's the story:

Spoiler

Solovet's last moments

Solovet fought.

It wasn't unusual for her, though it was long since she's been to the field. She became more of a tactician than a fighter, lately. She even gave over her favorite dagger to the Warrior, Gregor the Overlander. She definitely didn't expect to be ambushed on her way to negotiate with the spinners.

Ajax, her flier, dove, and she slashed a gnawer with her sword. both she and Ajax were already tired and injured in multiple places, as were her bodyguards, Horatio and Marcus, and their fliers. Yet she refused to give in without resisting. If she will go down - she will go down fighting.

A gnawer jumped, slashing towards Ajax wings. He almost succeeded hurting it, though Ajax narrowly escaped.

She should have known they would've been ambushed. The spinners could never decide whose side they are in. Of course they gave them away. And the gnawers wouldn't miss such an opportunity; Solovet was one of the biggest threats on them, as the head of the human military. They believed the Warrior dead, and without both him and Solovet the humans were in a disadvantage. Maybe they thought it would be an easy prize, but Solovet didn't yet forget how to fight.

I told Vikus, she thought while slashing at another gnawer trying to jump at her, hurting his nose. I told him time and time again: the spinners are not to be trusted. They might not betray you for a cake, like shiners will, but they never commit to either side. Of course, she agreed to come and negotiate with them. So much for that, now.

Ajax gave an involuntary shriek when a gnawer got his wing. Solovet immediately jumped down from him, maneuvering the jump so she'll land in a gnawer-free ground, and immediately went forward to attack. No hesitations. No second thoughts.

But Vikus was always the opimisic. she thought, cutting through a gnawer's leg, one of their weak spots. If he was here, he probably would've pointed out that since the spinners didn't join the attack there's still a chance they'll side with us, the fool. they should've approached them more aggressively. All of Vikus' tries of negotiation with the spinners so far didn't even assure people's safety while crossing their territories. Maybe all it did was getting silk made clothes, and not having a spinner-cutter anti-warmbloods coalition.

Yet, she did agree to come to them to talk, instead of threat. Why was that?

She recalled her dialogue with Vikus before she went.

"Please, Solovet," He pleaded. "You've tried the aggressive way multiple times, and it didn't end the war. You made the plague behind the council's back. At least once, please try word before using sword. Please."

If he tried to make her feel guilty for the plague he failed. Her only regret about this event was choosing Dr. Neveeve for the mission of creating the plague; the woman was jumpy, and not very good with keeping secrets. It was her next-to-last tactical mistake, and it could've been the last.

Instead, she was temporarily pardoned for it when the war started, and her last tactical mistake became agreeing to do as Vikus offered. She went to talk peacefully with the spinners, and that's where it got her: a gnawer ambush, in which she knew she'd die. They were massively outnumbered.

She somehow succeeded getting to Ajax before the gnawers killed him. She knew she couldn't protect him, since they were surrounded, but she had to do her best. If she'll fail, she'll stay true to her oath: her death will be one with her flier's. She heard Horatio's dying scream, and shortly afterwards Marcus'. She was alone with Ajax. She saw only one option: she charged at the gnawers with her sword, attacking with her remaining energy. she slashed and stabbed, killing as many of them as she could before she'll die.

Then a gnawer's tail whipped at her hand, disarming her. The last thing she saw was the claw of a rat, coming at her face.

Well, that's the whole story. I'm not the best writer, and it's probably one of the worse things you've ever seen, but here it is. What do you think? Don't hesitate to criticize it. I'm well aware it's not very good.

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5 hours ago, Trutharchivist said:

So first, I don't know if anyone around here read the Underland Chronicles by Suzanne Collins. It's kind of one of my favorite book series, and to tell you the truth, I probably like it more than the Hunger Games, because even though it might not be better written, I dislike some elements in THG, which are thankfully absent from TUC. If you haven't read the series I'd say it's pointless to read on - not only my writing is not that good, not only even it'll spoil you the book: the point of this fanfic will make sense only if you read the whole UC series, so you'll understand nothing.

BTW, before I write it you should know it's not anything pre-written. Just thought of the idea and wrote. I probably won't be true enough to the characters, and for that I am sorry.

Now, without farther ado, here's the story:

  Reveal hidden contents

Solovet's last moments

Solovet fought.

It wasn't unusual for her, though it was long since she's been to the field. She became more of a tactician than a fighter, lately. She even gave over her favorite dagger to the Warrior, Gregor the Overlander. She definitely didn't expect to be ambushed on her way to negotiate with the spinners.

Ajax, her flier, dove, and she slashed a gnawer with her sword. both she and Ajax were already tired and injured in multiple places, as were her bodyguards, Horatio and Marcus, and their fliers. Yet she refused to give in without resisting. If she will go down - she will go down fighting.

A gnawer jumped, slashing towards Ajax wings. He almost succeeded hurting it, though Ajax narrowly escaped.

She should have known they would've been ambushed. The spinners could never decide whose side they are in. Of course they gave them away. And the gnawers wouldn't miss such an opportunity; Solovet was one of the biggest threats on them, as the head of the human military. They believed the Warrior dead, and without both him and Solovet the humans were in a disadvantage. Maybe they thought it would be an easy prize, but Solovet didn't yet forget how to fight.

I told Vikus, she thought while slashing at another gnawer trying to jump at her, hurting his nose. I told him time and time again: the spinners are not to be trusted. They might not betray you for a cake, like shiners will, but they never commit to either side. Of course, she agreed to come and negotiate with them. So much for that, now.

Ajax gave an involuntary shriek when a gnawer got his wing. Solovet immediately jumped down from him, maneuvering the jump so she'll land in a gnawer-free ground, and immediately went forward to attack. No hesitations. No second thoughts.

But Vikus was always the opimisic. she thought, cutting through a gnawer's leg, one of their weak spots. If he was here, he probably would've pointed out that since the spinners didn't join the attack there's still a chance they'll side with us, the fool. they should've approached them more aggressively. All of Vikus' tries of negotiation with the spinners so far didn't even assure people's safety while crossing their territories. Maybe all it did was getting silk made clothes, and not having a spinner-cutter anti-warmbloods coalition.

Yet, she did agree to come to them to talk, instead of threat. Why was that?

She recalled her dialogue with Vikus before she went.

"Please, Solovet," He pleaded. "You've tried the aggressive way multiple times, and it didn't end the war. You made the plague behind the council's back. At least once, please try word before using sword. Please."

If he tried to make her feel guilty for the plague he failed. Her only regret about this event was choosing Dr. Neveeve for the mission of creating the plague; the woman was jumpy, and not very good with keeping secrets. It was her next-to-last tactical mistake, and it could've been the last.

Instead, she was temporarily pardoned for it when the war started, and her last tactical mistake became agreeing to do as Vikus offered. She went to talk peacefully with the spinners, and that's where it got her: a gnawer ambush, in which she knew she'd die. They were massively outnumbered.

She somehow succeeded getting to Ajax before the gnawers killed him. She knew she couldn't protect him, since they were surrounded, but she had to do her best. If she'll fail, she'll stay true to her oath: her death will be one with her flier's. She heard Horatio's dying scream, and shortly afterwards Marcus'. She was alone with Ajax. She saw only one option: she charged at the gnawers with her sword, attacking with her remaining energy. she slashed and stabbed, killing as many of them as she could before she'll die.

Then a gnawer's tail whipped at her hand, disarming her. The last thing she saw was the claw of a rat, coming at her face.

Well, that's the whole story. I'm not the best writer, and it's probably one of the worse things you've ever seen, but here it is. What do you think? Don't hesitate to criticize it. I'm well aware it's not very good.

I upvoted this earlier, but I was on the Shard during class and couldn't write out a response when I first saw this. I read the Underland Chronicles a few years ago, and I honestly forgot a lot of it, but I think I have enough memory of the story/plot to understand what's going on. Overall, I actually don't think this is a bad attempt at trying to write Solovet's character. For a second I had to remember exactly which character she was, but your writing immediately helped me remember what her personality was like in the series. And this definitely isn't "one of the worst things [I've] ever seen"; that reward probably goes to some of my own writing :P

Anyways, the one critique I would have is that there's a lot of parts that stop the action to recap things that the audience would probably already know (if they'd read the series). The parts where you describe the action are exciting, but then you'll stop the fighting/plot to kind of tell us how she got in that situation. And we kind of already know, mostly because the people reading this are probably the people who have already read the actual books. 

Again, I don't think this is bad. It probably just needs some editing, but I did find it enjoyable. And it's definitely interesting having the same story from Solovet's point of view instead of Gregor's.

(Also, Ripred is best character :ph34r:)

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15 minutes ago, Flying said:

I upvoted this earlier, but I was on the Shard during class and couldn't write out a response when I first saw this. I read the Underland Chronicles a few years ago, and I honestly forgot a lot of it, but I think I have enough memory of the story/plot to understand what's going on. Overall, I actually don't think this is a bad attempt at trying to write Solovet's character. For a second I had to remember exactly which character she was, but your writing immediately helped me remember what her personality was like in the series. And this definitely isn't "one of the worst things [I've] ever seen"; that reward probably goes to some of my own writing :P

Anyways, the one critique I would have is that there's a lot of parts that stop the action to recap things that the audience would probably already know (if they'd read the series). The parts where you describe the action are exciting, but then you'll stop the fighting/plot to kind of tell us how she got in that situation. And we kind of already know, mostly because the people reading this are probably the people who have already read the actual books. 

Again, I don't think this is bad. It probably just needs some editing, but I did find it enjoyable. And it's definitely interesting having the same story from Solovet's point of view instead of Gregor's.

(Also, Ripred is best character :ph34r:)

You're probably right. The thing is, I basically wanted to see her thoughts more then the battle. All the action scenes were actually added as "oh, something was supposed to happen here. Let's add some action!" I'm not sure I could write good action, but I obviously have low expectations from myself. You're right, I did mention many things people should remember, maybe I'll edit it later.

And, well, Gregor didn't really experience this scene.

It's actually one of two ideas for fanfictions I had on this series, the other one being Judith's life (assuming you remember who's Judith...).

Also, I can't say I wholeheartedly agree about Ripred, but... Yep, he is a great character.

Edited by Trutharchivist
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1 minute ago, Trutharchivist said:

You're probably right. The thing is, I basically wanted to see her thoughts more then the battle. All the action scenes were actually added as "oh, something was supposed to happen here. Let's add some action!" I'm not sure I could write good action, but I obviously have low expectations from myself. You're right, I did mention many things people should remember, maybe I'll edit it later.

Also, I can't say I wholeheartedly agree about Ripred, but... Yep, he is a great character.

Yeah, I'm also bad at writing action, so I can't really be the one to judge. If your intention was to show the thoughts more than the battle, then I'm sure that's fine.  I also have really low expectations for myself and my own writing, so I understand that. But editing never hurts; it always makes the writing stronger.

Also, who is your favorite character from the series? :P

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1 minute ago, Flying said:

Also, who is your favorite character from the series? :P

Possibly Lizzie. There are times, when I read a book, that I get frustrated with the main character's lack of understanding. In those cases, it's nice to have an inbook person who explains to the hero what his mistake was. At least once, Lizzie filled that role, and for that I am greatful. I actually never had to think who my favorite character is, so I guess it's either that, or I'll just agree about Ripred. Which reminds me, I was never sure about Solovet's opinion on prophecies. I thought to insert something about it in the story, but ended up not doing it. I do believe you were right about the action. I just am not sure how to fix it and leave Solovet's thoughts in the story.

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So, I think I'll try to write it again, now with less unnecessary explanations.

Spoiler

Solovet's last moments

Solovet fought.

It was long since her last time in the field, but it didn't mean she couldn't fight, even without her favourite dagger to use. She rode on Ajax, her flier, above the field, as high as she could, which wasn't nearly high enough. When the gnawers chose this place or their ambush they chose well. She couldn't get out of their leap reach; she had to slice and stab at a gnawer any moment she was high. She still preferred to fly, since it exhausted the gnawers a bit.

Ajax dove back into the battle, and she slashed a gnawer with her sword, retreating upwards immediately. both she and Ajax were already tired and injured in multiple places, as were her bodyguards, Horatio and Marcus, and their fliers. Yet she refused to give in without resistance. If she will go down - she will go down fighting.

A gnawer jumped, slashing towards Ajax wings. He almost succeeded hurting it, though Ajax narrowly escaped. They dove on him next, and she successfully cut though his chest, leaing him badly injured.

I should have known we would be ambushed, she thought while slashing at another gnawer, retreating immediately again. The spinners could never decide whose side they are in. Of course they gave us away. And the gnawers wouldn't miss such an opportunity; Solovet was one of the biggest threats on them, as the head of the human military. Without Solovet the humans were in a great disadvantage. Maybe they thought it would be an easy prize, but Solovet didn't yet forget how to fight.

I told Vikus, she thought while stabbing a gnawer that tried to leap at her, hurting his nose. I told him time and time again: the spinners are not to be trusted. They might not betray you for a cake, like shiners will, but they never commit to either side. Of course, she agreed to come and negotiate with them. So much for that, now.

Ajax gave an involuntary shriek when a gnawer got his wing. Solovet immediately jumped down from him, maneuvering the jump so she'll land in a gnawer-free ground, and immediately went forward to attack, to get back to her fallen flier. No hesitations. No second thoughts.

She cut through a gnawer after gnawer, splashing blood everywhere. She won't let Ajax die alone, no matter the consequences.

But Vikus was always the opimisic. she thought, cutting through a gnawer's leg, one of their weak spots, making him fall. If he was here, he probably would've pointed out that since the spinners didn't join the attack there's still a chance they'll side with us, the fool. they should've approached them more aggressively, as she always offered. All of Vikus' tries of negotiation with the spinners so far didn't even assure people's safety while crossing their territories. All it did was getting silk made clothes, and not having a spinner-cutter anti-warmbloods coalition.

Yet, she did agree to come to them to talk, instead of threat. Why was that?

She kept pressing forward, killing gnawers as she walked, while recalling what happened a few days earlier.

"Please, Solovet," pleaded Vikus. "You've tried the aggressive way multiple times, and it didn't end the war. Nothing you tried did. At least once, please try word before using sword. Please."

If he tried to make her feel guilty for the plague he failed. Her only regret about this event was choosing Dr. Neveeve for the mission of creating the plague; the woman was jumpy, and not very good with keeping secrets. It was her next-to-last tactical mistake, and it could've been the last.

She attacked another gnawer, finding Horatio and Marcus behind him, fighting as well. Both were in a very bad shape, but they didn't back down. The three of them made a formation, pushing through the gnawers.

Instead, her last tactical mistake became agreeing to do as Vikus offered. She went to talk peacefully with the spinners, and that's where it got her: a gnawer ambush, in which she knew she'd die. They were massively outnumbered.

She somehow succeeded getting to Ajax before the gnawers killed him. She knew she couldn't protect him, since they were surrounded, but she had to do her best. If she'll fail, she'll stay true to her oath: her death will be one with her flier's. She heard Horatio's dying scream to her right, shortly after followed by Marcus', to her left. She was alone with Ajax. She saw only one option: she charged at the gnawers with her sword, attacking with her remaining energy. she slashed and stabbed, killing as many of them as she could before she'll die.

Then a gnawer's tail whipped at her hand, disarming her. She roared, trying to charge them empty-handed, but one of them knocked her down. The last thing she saw was the claw of a rat, coming at her face.

I didn't fix much; mainly erased unnecessary explanations and added a few more action scenes. It probably won't work much better, but I really am not sure how to fix it more.

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