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On a site full of fantasy fans, I figured that a fair number of us probably play Dungeons and Dragons. So here's a thread to put all the wild stories about the shenanigans your party gets up to.

Here's a favorite story from my campaign: The Letter Bunny

So, one of the characters is a very wholesome warlock of the Demigod of Cute Fluffy Animals. This is relevant because it meant that he had a bunny costume in his inventory. The party was at a tavern on a journey when they overheard a drunk messenger bragging about how he had a letter to the leader of a nearby city - someone that the party was already suspicious of. So naturally, the party decided to steal the letter and read it. Before they could figure out how, though, the messenger left the building and got on his horse. Not wanting to let him escape they started to chase after him, but the horse was much faster than they were, so they had trouble catching him. Then the warlock, Kjørfraexx, had an idea.

Kjørfraexx first changed into his bunny costume, and then got the wizard to cast Fly on him. So garbed, he shot after the rider and quickly caught up. He used prestidigitation to scatter sparkles around, and announced that he was the "Letter Bunny" - a being that he explained as being like the tooth fairy, but for letters rather than teeth. Remember, this messenger was very drunk, and being a warlock, Kjørfraexx had very good Charisma. And then Kjørfraexx rolled a nat 20. So the befuddled messenger handed over the letter, received a silver piece in exchange, and was sent on his way.

Imagining him explaining this to his superiors was one of the highlights of my week.

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Oh do I have so many stories that could fit here.

One time I was playing a pacifist Druid that, in a very Hulk-like situation, would shapeshift into a very violent wendigo when certain triggers were met, the curse that made him that way magically suppressing his smarter elf mind, ruining his ability to cast spells until he turned back or otherwise had the curse lifted. At some point, he found an anti-curse necklace that let him lock his alternate form away, with the caveat that the moment he took it off he was going to forcibly shift, and had been wearing it ever since, as his weaponry and magical abilities were plenty enough to handle any of the threats we were running across when properly supported.

On the first meeting with the BBEG (though we didn't know that's who she was at the time, as far as we knew she was just attacking us [we later found out she wanted her daughter back, who was a very ditzy kitsune that had been travelling with us as an NPC for a while]), which was supposed to be the first of many interactions forming a full-on enemy relationship with this massive fox lady. Unfortunately, our DM underestimated the ability of the players to accidentally disrupt ideas, so when he mentioned that the spells the party wizard was casting against her got dissolved against a skin-tight anti-magic field that she radiated, I had the worst idea ever.

So my wonderful wendigo shifter climbed a tree to about eye level of this three- or four-story creature and leaped out, aiming for the eyes, removing the curse suppression necklace along the way, forcing a complete shift. He didn't make it to the eye, having failed a check, but instead got bitten and trapped between her teeth, head inside and arms desperately trying to keep the teeth from closing entirely. Unfortunately for the DM, that worked just as well as what I was planning, and upon contact with her teeth, I asked him if the anti-magic field extended to the teeth.

He looked at me a little funky. I'd already been playing with him for a while, so they knew my habit of pulling funny things out of nowhere, but he eventually said yes, the field does cover contact with teeth. 

Well, the curse that kept Kino's mind suppressed was dispelled upon contact. I checked with him, and he just nodded slowly, not exactly sure where I was going with that, but starting to look a little more wary (probably remembering the time I kamikazed a space hotel with my ship, trying to hijack it [whole different campaign] and nearly succeeding). So I apologized to him, then said I was casting the variation of lightning storm Kino had down her throat. Rolled a nat 20 to hit, rolled my 5d12 (4 of the 5 were 12s), doubled that, added my damage bonus, and it came out to more health than she actually had.

I apologized to him again after that, but in the moment, it was very funny.

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A Dragonborn Paladin I was playing with threw an animated suit of armor down three stories of stairs. It was supposed to be the final boss of our level 1 one shot, and she took it out with a single strength check :D 

Shameless plug, but do any of you guys want to play DnD over the forum?

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9 minutes ago, 00kla said:

Shameless plug, but do any of you guys want to play DnD over the forum?

How would that work?

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So, I don't play as much, but I do make lots of characters. My current character is a human fighter. I got bored and decided to give him fish as weapons. I called them fish schlapers. Also, I like having violent characters and I like bar fights, so I decided to make it into my character's background. (Like hermit, or Scholar, or Solider) I called it a tavern brawler. Basically my character was insane, and couldn't leave a bar without getting into a fight. He also liked to go to bars and drink. His motivation for going on an adventure was that he wanted money to pay his bail fines.

5 minutes ago, More Cynical Than Funny said:

We could make an RP forum.

There have been several attempts to make a thread, but most of them died.

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Just now, More Cynical Than Funny said:

We shall make it not die. We shall play to the end of the Champaign.

I don't know if D&D is a great format for a forum game, is the thing. You need very quick responses, and a DM who's online the entire time. It would be possible to organize, say, a voice call with people from the forums, and just start up a regular game online, but I think trying to do it via forum posts would go poorly.

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Fair. I still would be down to try and do it over Discord. I'm going to set up a PM with some others that were interested. Thanks for letting me hijack this :P 

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I have a Mistborn Homebrew set I'm dying to try out.

Unfortunetly for the campaign it's my first homebrew

Fortunetly for this thread, it's my first homebrew

I'll let you know how that turns out but I might need a few months. 

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24 minutes ago, More Cynical Than Funny said:

Era 1 or Era 2

It's a reimagined version of era 1.

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3 minutes ago, More Cynical Than Funny said:

Would it be possible murder Kelsier in the hypothetical campaign? 

theoretically, he is fullborn in this senario.

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Just now, More Cynical Than Funny said:

 

This is why I don't play Mistborn RPG's

Becasue you can kill Kelsier?

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ok, so this is a story from my campaign.

So, me and a friend were adventuring and found a magical sword, I was a warlock with detect magic and knew it was heavily enchanted. I picked it up and told my friend that the sword is magical, He asked what it does and I decided to find out, he told me to poke him with it to see what it does. So I poked him with it. He instantly fell to the ground dead and the sword disappeared.

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Ok I had an opportunity to start today to my utter surprise, and I already have a story.

I spent a long time designing a system that would(somewhat) randomize what powers people have,

One of my players who I'll call lucky did what I thought neigh impossible, and the first character To use it got Fullborn.

I'm going to have to make some big changes going forward.

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5 hours ago, Ookla The Frustrated said:

I spent a long time designing a system that would(somewhat) randomize what powers people have,

One of my players who I'll call lucky did what I thought neigh impossible, and the first character To use it got Fullborn.

Wow that’s lucky. 

What was your system for randomizing the powers? 

This is what I’d do, just making it up off the top of my head.

1. Flip a coin for Allomancy or Feruchemy
2. Roll a D16 (not literally, I’d use a random number generator online, I don’t think I have an actual D16) to choose the metal.
3. Roll another D16, if they get a 16 they become either a Full Feruchemist or a Mistborn. (Because I’d make this as close to actual era 1 as possible, so you either have one metal, or all the metals. You could adjust it to make it possible to have 2-3. Probably would be more balanced.)
4. Roll 2 D16. If both rolls are a 16, you got yourself a Fullborn. 

So Fullborn is theoretically possible with my system, but a 1/4096 chance. So basically not gonna happen. 

Edited by Ookla the Disproportionate
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7 hours ago, Ookla the Disproportionate said:

Wow that’s lucky. 

What was your system for randomizing the powers? 

This is what I’d do, just making it up off the top of my head.

1. Flip a coin for Allomancy or Feruchemy
2. Roll a D16 (not literally, I’d use a random number generator online, I don’t think I have an actual D16) to choose the metal.
3. Roll another D16, if they get a 16 they become either a Full Feruchemist or a Mistborn. (Because I’d make this as close to actual era 1 as possible, so you either have one metal, or all the metals. You could adjust it to make it possible to have 2-3. Probably would be more balanced.)
4. Roll 2 D16. If both rolls are a 16, you got yourself a Fullborn. 

So Fullborn is theoretically possible with my system, but a 1/4096 chance. So basically not gonna happen. 

Mine was much more simplistic 1d100 and then

1-20 was misting(I let them pick the metal I'm not that heartless)

21-40 Ferring(I know they don't exist yet but I need to pad the space out, and it makes it more interesting)

Twinborn 41-55

Compounder 56-65

Mistborn 66-75

Feruchemist 76-85

M-Halfborn 86-90

F-Halfborn 91-95

Fullborn 96-99

Hero of ages 100(They of course do not know this can do.)

 

So mine was much more possible but I thought to myself It's a 4 in 100 chance it won't happen too often Right? 

Unfortunately I forgot about Lucky, this man, I've know for years he has some sort of chance displacement field that made him 410% more lucky than you average person. Well, if it's possible to break the game I suppose a Fullborn will reveal everything I missed so maybe this is a good thing.

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I DM'd a campaign for @Ookla the Steampunked (Truthless) and our friend @Tanavast_the_lesser. It was super fun, but I think my favorite part was when Truthless' character, a paladin to Tyr, converted a whole town to his god. It started with the guards, who helped them a lot on their adventures, and then eventually one night when the whole town was celebrating he started giving a sermon to everyone, and basically with the help of the guards everyone started worshiping Tyr. 'Twas quite funny.

What was your favorite parts Truthless and Tanavast?

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6 minutes ago, Ookla the Groovy said:

I DM'd a campaign for @Ookla the Steampunked (Truthless) and our friend @Tanavast_the_lesser. It was super fun, but I think my favorite part was when Truthless' character, a paladin to Tyr, converted a whole town to his god. It started with the guards, who helped them a lot on their adventures, and then eventually one night when the whole town was celebrating he started giving a sermon to everyone, and basically with the help of the guards everyone started worshiping Tyr. 'Twas quite funny.

What was your favorite parts Truthless and Tanavast?

I’ll always hold fondly in my memory that one time I insulted a goblin by comparing him to a grandma and made him start crying because of my high intimidation and/or charisma roll:P

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3 minutes ago, Ookla the Steampunked said:

I’ll always hold fondly in my memory that one time I insulted a goblin by comparing him to a grandma and made him start crying because of my high intimidation and/or charisma roll:P

Dude I forgot about that! I think it was a were-rat. That was the best though.

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Alright, session 1

Lucky eventually consented to a re-roll, mostly brought about by the other players, along with the other Human "Twin" and got Mistborn, this dude is unstoppable(or so I thought) We also have a Kandra, "Moody"

So after being summed to the King the party wasted two rounds bargaining for a whole copper coin raise, one Whole copper coin.

After their successful negotiation, the first thing of particular note was when they saved a Child from his abusive father and tried to determine his address by how wrinkled his shirt is, This party is the worst.

They then spent about 7 turns investigating the inn trying to find coins.

Lucky did the stupidest thing so far and left the party behind, immediately proving his pseudonym false and dying alone to a Koloss.

Moody and Twin got into a fight with a Thug, and moody started getting agitated with how much damage he had taken, forgetting that he would live so long as he wasn't killed with fire or acid. Sometimes I worry about them.

Anyway we took a break for refreshments hopefully This next one goes better.

 

Alright here is what's from the the rest of the session, 

Our Kandra got buried and when he was extremely pleased to "Taste air"

Now to tally the murders

1. a pickpocket in the inn, Moody hit for 44 hp, the highest of the entire game so far

2,3,4,5 prison guards at Lucky reincarnates prison for assisting in murder 1

6 a random farmer who saw them because moody needed new legs.

Edited by Ookla The Frustrated
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*Ahem*

So.

I decided to make a quick campaign for my brother and my friend where they had to escape prison. I expected it to be a full-on Shawshank-style kinda thing; bribing guards, smuggling weapons, etc.

Hehehehehehehehehe no.

See, the players I was playing with--and I should've known this--are not experienced D&Ders. One of them only plays the game so they can kill people, and the other one only plays the game so they can destroy things. Together, they create the physical embodiment of chaos.

So I don't know what I was expecting when they decided to immediately look for the closest weapon. I was smart enough not to drop random daggers here and there, but you must understand that these two people will stop at nothing to commit the action of SLAY.

After they couldn't budge the stone slab beds, found that the buckets were attached to the floor, they went to the washroom to see if they could use the scudding toilets against the guards. When that didn't work, they simply punched the guards in the face, and with their 18+ Strength scores, they freaking murdered the poor schmucks!

I started sending more and more guards at them, making it clear that there was nothing they could do against the tidal wave of swords and spears. They ripped the doors off the stalls, barricading themselves in. After the guards broke through, they picked up one of the corpses and used that as a weapon. They continued their resourcefullness, pulling every single stall door off their hinges and using them as improvised clubs. Somehow, they were winning; using doors.

One of them actually managed to yank a toilet off the ground with a Crit, and they smashed a hole through the wall with a similar roll. I had no idea what to do from there, so I simply instakilled them both with machine guns and called it a day.

But they had escaped the prison. In ten minutes.

That's one of my stories. I have plenty.

Hope you enjoyed it.

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On 12/12/2020 at 3:15 PM, Ookla the Groovy said:

I DM'd a campaign for @Ookla the Steampunked (Truthless) and our friend @Tanavast_the_lesser. It was super fun, but I think my favorite part was when Truthless' character, a paladin to Tyr, converted a whole town to his god. It started with the guards, who helped them a lot on their adventures, and then eventually one night when the whole town was celebrating he started giving a sermon to everyone, and basically with the help of the guards everyone started worshiping Tyr. 'Twas quite funny.

What was your favorite parts Truthless and Tanavast?

Well, I won't say it was my favorite part, but it was certainly memorable almost killing Truthless over an orc that he was sparing. Sorry about that, it's hard to stay level headed when orcs burned down your home town. It's strange that you were the merciful one, seeing as you were a paladin to Tyr of all things.

Also, I have a question for anyone who's on here. My weirdest D&D moment is getting cursed to be Moana. Anyone have anything better?

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10 hours ago, Tanavast_the_lesser said:

My weirdest D&D moment is getting cursed to be Moana. Anyone have anything better?

I don't have anything better. That is hilarious.

Funny story, my parties ship was being attacked by things in the water. (Turns out they were merpeople but that's not important) My Barbarian wanted to stop them from attacking the ship, so he grabbed his battle-axe and jumped over the side of the ship. Problem is, he forgot that Dwarves can't really swim. He then had to be saved by the parties rouge who actually had the foresight to tie a rope around his waist. After that event my Barbarian claimed that he was just lulling the merpeople into a false sense of security.

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5 hours ago, Ookla the Bored said:

He then had to be saved by the parties rouge who actually had the foresight to tie a rope around his waist. After that event my Barbarian claimed that he was just lulling the merpeople into a false sense of security.

Of course he was right, seeing the enemy warriors kill themselves off is liable to make the merpeople assume the fight will be easy. *does a double take* 'wait, a rogue who actively keeps the party alive? What kind of campaign is this!?'

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8 minutes ago, Tanavast_the_lesser said:

Of course he was right, seeing the enemy warriors kill themselves off is liable to make the merpeople assume the fight will be easy. *does a double take* 'wait, a rogue who actively keeps the party alive? What kind of campaign is this!?'

That's who I remember it being. It might have been a druid though.

Edit: The campaign was chaos though. Beside from me, only one other person was acting in a (semi)sane manner. The other people were insane. I don't remember the exact details, but one of them played a chaotic neutral pixie with a halebred. He would roll a dice whenever you asked him to do something, and if he rolled an even number he would do what you asked, and if you rolled a odd number he wouldn't and would actively try to oppose what you wanted him to do. Another player was Chaotic evil player and killed every thing. It was chaos, and not the most fun campaign I've ever played. (But I do have some funny stories)

Edited by Ookla the Bored
Explaining the campaign
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17 minutes ago, Tanavast_the_lesser said:

'wait, a rogue who actively keeps the party alive? What kind of campaign is this!?'

This is very accurate. Our rogue has a habit of sneaking off alone and getting into trouble. (This did involve being thrown in jail one time, yes). Just last session, she followed a suspicious character all on her own, and ended up getting captured by a major villain without the rest of the party knowing about it. So that should be fun to resolve.

Edit: oh, I nearly forgot the time that she launched the party and a friendly NPC into a dangerous demiplane because she couldn't wait for a long rest. That was interesting.

Edited by Ookla the Uscritic
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