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Socially Awkward Bookworms


Tesh

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This is the thread for people who like books and who are socially awkward! We shall all work together to try and help each other figure out social situations, and talk about books. (Or, well, talk about how hard it is to talk to people about books.)

If you do have social skills, feel free to stop by as well!

We might need your help...

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So. I am a bookworm. And I'm technically socially awkward. I'm totally fine talking with kids that I know, as well as kids that I have never met before, but I have trouble talking with kids that I know exist but don't really know. I also can't talk to adults very well and usually dissolve into a mumbling mess. If there weren't books, I have no idea where I would be right now. 

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I overthink things. A lot. Sometimes I do well in social situations, but that's just how I see things. I have a tendency to talk a lot, and then as soon as I realize I am doing so, retreat and say as little as possible. I also repeat myself. A lot. And then go over potential scenarios and past ones over and over in my head, trying to figure out if I pulled off a decent conversation or not.

It all gets very complicated.

Oh, and then there's the thing where I don't know if people are actually interested in what I have to say, or if they actually understand what I'm saying, or anything like that. And it's one of those weird things where you can't really ask a person about that, because they might not tell the truth.

Complicated.

Books are seriously great, though. It's very nice to just experience social interaction without taking part in it yourself, you know? Plus, there are dragons (sometimes).

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I’ve developed a strange way to deal with social anxiety and stress. I’ve convinced my subconscious mind not to worry—if I mess up something bad, there is an extremely low chance they’re going to remember that a year from now. And if they do, so what? I know I’m not going to remember it in a year. An attitude of “Oh, well, guess that happened. Moving on.” And if nothing happened—great!

 This is how I’ve been trying to reach out and be more social.

I literally logic myself into social situations and attempt to tune out my anxiety or worry by again using logic. Mostly ending up like, “If I initiate conversation with this person, no matter what, I am certain it will not be the end of the world as I know it.”

 

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44 minutes ago, Ookla the Rōnin said:

This is the thread for people who like books and who are socially awkward! We shall all work together to try and help each other figure out social situations, and talk about books. (Or, well, talk about how hard it is to talk to people about books.)

If you do have social skills, feel free to stop by as well!

We might need your help...

Hello! I used to be a socially awkward bookworm, but now I'm a socially adept bookworm! Because I go to a school for nerds!

And I love love love books! They're the greatest!

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I'm honestly pretty socially awkward. I love books because I have a hard time talking to people in real life, so I feel less lonely when I get to read about fictional people. Renarin and Kaladin are my homies (and literally my whole family knows this because I've called them "my homies" multiple times). 

Also, I have like two close friends in real life and I constantly pester them with random paragraphs from things I've written. They normally get kind of annoyed because I will send the most random paragraphs that only I think are cool, but today I texted one of them something and he actually liked it. And then later in the day he asked me for a story. Normally everyone is annoyed at me but today someone actually asked me to tell them about my stories. This made me way happier than it probably should have and honestly has been a huge confidence boost. Hoid would be proud :') 

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1 minute ago, weiss_kwispies said:

I'm honestly pretty socially awkward. I love books because I have a hard time talking to people in real life, so I feel less lonely when I get to read about fictional people. Renarin and Kaladin are my homies (and literally my whole family knows this because I've called them "my homies" multiple times). 

Also, I have like two close friends in real life and I constantly pester them with random paragraphs from things I've written. They normally get kind of annoyed because I will send the most random paragraphs that only I think are cool, but today I texted one of them something and he actually liked it. And then later in the day he asked me for a story. Normally everyone is annoyed at me but today someone actually asked me to tell them about my stories. This made me way happier than it probably should have and honestly has been a huge confidence boost. Hoid would be proud :') 

Wit much?

Have you read RoW?

And I am here to help the socially awkward people! :)

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9 minutes ago, Ookla the Ethereal said:

*awkwardly stands in the corner watching everyone else talk*

*awkwardly invites Salad into conversation*

21 minutes ago, Ookla the Knight said:

I’ve convinced my subconscious mind not to worry—if I mess up something bad, there is an extremely low chance they’re going to remember that a year from now.

I've tried that. Unfortunately, my mind is very good at picking out when it is trying to trick itself.

8 minutes ago, Vapor said:

Uh hi.

I'm socially awkward.

I'm self conscious.

I'm a bookworm.

I'm terrified that others will think mean things about me.

So I think I fit here.

*hugs* No mean things here! (From what I've seen of you, you're really great, by the way.)

6 minutes ago, Ookla the Grammatical said:

Hello! I used to be a socially awkward bookworm, but now I'm a socially adept bookworm! Because I go to a school for nerds!

And I love love love books! They're the greatest!

Yay! We have someone to help us!

6 minutes ago, weiss_kwispies said:

They normally get kind of annoyed because I will send the most random paragraphs that only I think are cool, but today I texted one of them something and he actually liked it. And then later in the day he asked me for a story. Normally everyone is annoyed at me but today someone actually asked me to tell them about my stories. This made me way happier than it probably should have and honestly has been a huge confidence boost. Hoid would be proud :') 

That's fantastic! Yay! (I've had a few people do that for me, but few people actually read it after I send it to them...)

 

Two questions:

How do you respond when someone calls you smart? You can't say that you're not, because then they insist. And if you say thanks, it sounds a little like you have a high opinion of yourself.

And at what point do you consider someone a friend? (I'm just curious.)

 

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Just now, Ookla the Rōnin said:

*awkwardly invites Salad into conversation*

I've tried that. Unfortunately, my mind is very good at picking out when it is trying to trick itself.

*hugs* No mean things here! (From what I've seen of you, you're really great, by the way.)

Yay! We have someone to help us!

That's fantastic! Yay! (I've had a few people do that for me, but few people actually read it after I send it to them...)

 

Two questions:

How do you respond when someone calls you smart? You can't say that you're not, because then they insist. And if you say thanks, it sounds a little like you have a high opinion of yourself.

And at what point do you consider someone a friend? (I'm just curious.)

 

So are you.

1st question. Just shrug and humbly accept.

2nd question. No idea. I always wait until somebody calls me a friend and then I tell them they're a friend because the last time I called a kid my friend he stared at me and flat up said "We're not friends" and walked away so....

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8 minutes ago, weiss_kwispies said:

Yes, I have read RoW. I finished it last night. But I did kinda feel like Wit, not gonna lie :P

Yeah, Wit's great. He loves stories.

2 minutes ago, Ookla the Rōnin said:

Yay! We have someone to help us!

Two questions:

How do you respond when someone calls you smart? You can't say that you're not, because then they insist. And if you say thanks, it sounds a little like you have a high opinion of yourself.

And at what point do you consider someone a friend? (I'm just curious.)

 

You can count on me.

When someone calls me smart, I deflect the compliment ("Aw, thanks!") and then return a compliment, whether the same or different. ("You're smarter in _____, though!" or "I love your fashion sense!")

Everyone's my friend until they say they don't want to be! I'll formally ask if I think it'll make them feel better, but generally I find it's best to assume. Most people will welcome the extra friend!

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2 minutes ago, Ookla the Grammatical said:

When someone calls me smart, I deflect the compliment ("Aw, thanks!") and then return a compliment, whether the same or different. ("You're smarter in _____, though!" or "I love your fashion sense!")

That's great advice, thanks! 

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11 minutes ago, Ookla the Rōnin said:

And at what point do you consider someone a friend? (I'm just curious.)

I’m with Vapour on this, I’m hesitant to call people friends in case they don’t see me as one, but in my mind, I suppose I would consider someone a friend when I’m comfortable speaking to them and initiating a conversation. 

Edited by Ookla the Ethereal
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9 minutes ago, Ookla the Ethereal said:

I’m with Vapour on this, I’m hesitant to call people friends in case they don’t see me as one, but in my mind, I suppose I would consider someone a friend when I’m comfortable speaking to them and initiating a conversation. 

Are you my Shardbuddy?

Would anyone like to be my Shardbuddy who isn't?

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This might be a really dumb question, but the last time I was on the Shard was three years ago and I have absolutely no idea what a Shardbuddy is. Is it just acknowledging someone is a friend, or are there like special things you guys do? I've been really confused about this ever since I came back, and it's actually kind of funny because I've seen it mentioned so much and have just been confused the whole time.

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2 minutes ago, weiss_kwispies said:

This might be a really dumb question, but the last time I was on the Shard was three years ago and I have absolutely no idea what a Shardbuddy is. Is it just acknowledging someone is a friend, or are there like special things you guys do? I've been really confused about this ever since I came back, and it's actually kind of funny because I've seen it mentioned so much and have just been confused the whole time.

Um... it hasn't really been defined for me. You just... acknowledge each others friendship and generally put them on a list, then you're "special friends".

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2 minutes ago, Ookla the Grammatical said:

Um... it hasn't really been defined for me. You just... acknowledge each others friendship and generally put them on a list, then you're "special friends".

Okay, that makes sense. I kind of thought it was just that, but I wanted to know what it actually was in case there was something I didn't know about. Thanks :D

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