Identity Weaver

[MiaLaD10]

As wheelbarrow said above, I think we all can agree it is a fun reading. My kitty recently had some health problems and my mood wasn't the best, but with *Identity weaver* you managed to make me laugh and feel better! So thanks a lot for that. 

I would love to read some more, I want to see some more spren interactions and to know what is happening! Are the guys that contacted him part of the ghostbloods? Will someone discover what is going on with his abilities? Or what if Hoid shows up and shakes things up? Those are all the things I'm wondering. UwU 

Also, would you be okay with me or another people writing fanfics about Quicksilver? I liked him, tough he was cool and funny as a character and I now want to see him in lots of situations!

Thank you for writing this, honestly. And I hope that, if you decide to continue writing it, you can have a time as good as we had passed while reading it. Uwu

With love, Mia UwU 

 

Edit: Also, what is a Sai? 

Edited April 1, 2021 by MiaLaD10
Added a question

[BenduLuke]

When I got home later that night Lumina, Fractal, and Harvest gathered around. They had avoided openly interacting with me outside so as not to attract unnecessary attention.

Lumina said, "I know that I am new, but isn't antagonizing people you used to hang with kind of dangerous even if you don't look the same?"

Fractal piped up saying, "these new lies are very delicious."

Harvest said, " I'm with Lumina. We have only just begun to take root here, how does drawing more intense light help?"

I smiled and said "groups like the Ghostbloods thrive in the shadows and the dark. I know Flander and know people like Ander. To them I am an unknown. They can't risk an open conflict with me, and anything strange that happens to me would draw unwanted attention for now. They can't be sure what, how much or who I know. Because of this their next move will be to try and draw me out. For now I think we need to act as if what they want is irrelevant to us."

"I don't understand" Said Lumina, "conflict could reveal you. Isn't that a problem?"

"If Ander see's through the illusion he will link me back to Shallon and pass me off as some amateur attempt on her part to get more information. Because of that he will think he can handle me on his own. If Flander pierces the illusion he will think I am an impotent aluminum nat easily handled and reacquired and with his arrogance he will think if he calls for help with me he will lose face with his crew. In the mean time both will enter a holding pattern observing to discover more of my secrets while I can build a network in the area to watch them knowing they will be watching me and tracking them back from there." I explained.

On another topic I said "After associating with the three of you I am becoming increasingly more concerned with fate of your other dead brother, cousins, and sisters still trapped like you were. I am not sure of how many other bonds I can take on to revive them, but I would like to release them back to their previous state. Do you have any idea's?"

[BenduLuke]

15 hours ago, MiaLaD10 said:

As wheelbarrow said above, I think we all can agree it is a fun reading. My kitty recently had some health problems and my mood wasn't the best, but with *Identity weaver* you managed to make me laugh and feel better! So thanks a lot for that. 

I would love to read some more, I want to see some more spren interactions and to know what is happening! Are the guys that contacted him part of the ghostbloods? Will someone discover what is going on with his abilities? Or what if Hoid shows up and shakes things up? Those are all the things I'm wondering. UwU 

Also, would you be okay with me or another people writing fanfics about Quicksilver? I liked him, tough he was cool and funny as a character and I now want to see him in lots of situations!

Thank you for writing this, honestly. And I hope that, if you decide to continue writing it, you can have a time as good as we had passed while reading it. Uwu

With love, Mia UwU 

 

Edit: Also, what is a Sai? 

I got caught up in another thead, but always meant to return. I was also feeling like I needed to get back to the Spren and weaving more of them into the story. I was also having trouble thinking of where to go next.

Thanks for the encouragement. You may have noticed that not many have viewed my story.

I welcome any ideas since one of the reasons for this attempt is to refine my writing as I work on my own fiction since my first self published book wasn't very well received.

a Sai is a Japanese dagger like weapon that has a strait cross bar with both ends pointing forward.

@MiaLaD10 No I wouldn't mind you writing Quicksilver Just give me a heads up so I can enjoy it with you. See Sai below. I'll wait on Hoid though I do plan on Harmony at some point.

 

Edited April 1, 2021 by BenduLuke

[MiaLaD10]

Oh, if you are looking for advise to write better I would recommend you to read the advices and class recording from the YouTube channel of Brandon Sanderson. I'm an aspiring writer and those really helped me out! He as videos of general guidelines on how to do plot, characters, setting. 

I'm sure that with lots of practice you will write good books, remember that Brandon wrote like 10 books before getting published! 

Something that I would like to see here is some danger or problems to the character. He is really strong and I get it, so maybe making the problem of losing his own identity bigger? Maybe another identity weaver? Just suggestions or ideas though. 

Anyways, have a great day. 

With love, Mia UwU

 

[LewsTherinTelescope]

The story's a nice read, and there's some fun ideas here that I can't wait to see developed further!

 

A potential suggestion: at the moment, Quicksilver feels kind of overpowered (which might very well be something you're going for for fun, in which case you can ignore this message). I've got a few thoughts on ways to maybe help with this, but I'll be the first to admit I don't know much about writing, these are just some ideas bouncing around in my head about it.

While it's mentioned it took him years of practice, and we're told it takes him a long time to do some of these things, it doesn't really feel that way because we don't see it too often. Perhaps at some point you could show him back in the past before he'd mastered this skill, and show him struggling with it, to show the reader better that it is something he's had to work hard to learn? I think it could also be useful to maybe in times of great stress, show him slipping a bit when he tries it, to emphasize it takes a lot of focus to effectively do it. It might also give the reader more appreciation for his level of skill, to see how he started and how far he's managed to come.

I think what Mia suggested about making him sometimes a bit too open to the influence of the Identities of others would work as an interesting counterbalance as well. For example, maybe strong emotions of others nearby will lead to spikes in his own emotions, and he has to be careful to control this. Perhaps he starts to slip into roles a bit too heavily (which could lead to interesting interactions with him and Shallan). That kind of thing.

In a similar vein, I think removing the ability to store specific emotions, and instead changing it to generally storing strength of emotion, could be somewhat interesting, as it forces him to both tap and store it much more carefully, but this might ripple to some more core changes to the ability that wouldn't fit well with the story.

 

(Sorry that the positive bit I wrote was so short, while the more criticism-y bit was much longer. It's not intended to reflect negatively on the story, I just usually have a hard time picking out specifics when it comes to the good sides of things; even if my overall opinion is more positive than negative, the pros tend to be a lot vaguer and harder to put to words in my mind.)

[BenduLuke]

18 hours ago, MiaLaD10 said:

Oh, if you are looking for advise to write better I would recommend you to read the advices and class recording from the YouTube channel of Brandon Sanderson. I'm an aspiring writer and those really helped me out! He as videos of general guidelines on how to do plot, characters, setting. 

I'm sure that with lots of practice you will write good books, remember that Brandon wrote like 10 books before getting published! 

Something that I would like to see here is some danger or problems to the character. He is really strong and I get it, so maybe making the problem of losing his own identity bigger? Maybe another identity weaver? Just suggestions or ideas though. 

Anyways, have a great day. 

With love, Mia UwU

 

I have been viewing his classes about 3 semesters worth that have been posted thanks.

1 hour ago, LewsTherinTelescope said:

The story's a nice read, and there's some fun ideas here that I can't wait to see developed further!

 

A potential suggestion: at the moment, Quicksilver feels kind of overpowered (which might very well be something you're going for for fun, in which case you can ignore this message). I've got a few thoughts on ways to maybe help with this, but I'll be the first to admit I don't know much about writing, these are just some ideas bouncing around in my head about it.

While it's mentioned it took him years of practice, and we're told it takes him a long time to do some of these things, it doesn't really feel that way because we don't see it too often. Perhaps at some point you could show him back in the past before he'd mastered this skill, and show him struggling with it, to show the reader better that it is something he's had to work hard to learn? I think it could also be useful to maybe in times of great stress, show him slipping a bit when he tries it, to emphasize it takes a lot of focus to effectively do it. It might also give the reader more appreciation for his level of skill, to see how he started and how far he's managed to come.

I think what Mia suggested about making him sometimes a bit too open to the influence of the Identities of others would work as an interesting counterbalance as well. For example, maybe strong emotions of others nearby will lead to spikes in his own emotions, and he has to be careful to control this. Perhaps he starts to slip into roles a bit too heavily (which could lead to interesting interactions with him and Shallan). That kind of thing.

In a similar vein, I think removing the ability to store specific emotions, and instead changing it to generally storing strength of emotion, could be somewhat interesting, as it forces him to both tap and store it much more carefully, but this might ripple to some more core changes to the ability that wouldn't fit well with the story.

 

(Sorry that the positive bit I wrote was so short, while the more criticism-y bit was much longer. It's not intended to reflect negatively on the story, I just usually have a hard time picking out specifics when it comes to the good sides of things; even if my overall opinion is more positive than negative, the pros tend to be a lot vaguer and harder to put to words in my mind.)

You are both right that I need to consider issues unique to him and weaving identities. have you noticed that his ability is more along the lines of mirroring not stealing Identities except in the case of the Blades trauma?

He doesn't actually store emotions from the spren but the part of their identity where they experienced that pain and those effects within their identity. I can see I will need to work on this. Thanks both for the feedback. I am trying to avoid most interactions with established characters which is why I sent him off to some out of the way place that way I have almost complete control of the characters he interacts with.

One piece of feedback I got sometime ago was about being careful including a spoiler character that I wasn't even considering.

[LewsTherinTelescope]

5 minutes ago, BenduLuke said:

He doesn't actually store emotions from the spren but the part of their identity where they experienced that pain and those effects within their identity.

What I meant was more the part on storing his own emotions, like frustration or pain. I was intending it as an addendum to the previous suggestion. Like, if you do take the option of making him be affected by other people's emotions and such, it would probably be a good idea to change how storing his emotions away works, so that he can't just store away these emotions that are affecting him without other downsides (in the example I proposed, becoming overall less emotional would be the drawback, but there's probably other downsides you could come up with as well). Otherwise, it doesn't end up being as much of a weakness.

6 minutes ago, BenduLuke said:

have you noticed that his ability is more along the lines of mirroring not stealing Identities except in the case of the Blades trauma?

Yeah, that's why I suggested things like being affected by the emotional states of those around him, as it fits the more temporary mirroring aspect of the unconscious uses of the powers, I feel.

[BenduLuke]

Lumina replied "what if we sneak out and discover the watchers ourselves. I think we might be able to slide through the stone and dirt below this cottage to leave without being seen".

Fractal added "Yezz and we could clooak ourrselvvs in illusion to remain hiddennn whyal we finnnd themm. That would beee a greaat lie. leeave themm wonnderinng wherrre you arre annd how youu got therre."

Harvest started to laugh and said "We can even be slippery so as not to make any noise to give us away. Imagine how they will look when you return but they never knew that you left."

Within just a few minutes we were swimming though the earth to a secluded place just outside of town. It was really strange building an illusion to cover me as I emerged. I took the precaution to tap shadow tin to sense anyone nearby. Not long after I was entering the pub to meet with some of the other merchants. Gathered around the table we discussed how Alder and his group had been extorting traders for awhile. How anyone who stood up to them until now seemed to vanish but nothing could actually be tied back to them. They told me how Flander and some others were new arrivals that had given Ander more muscle to work with. We talked as some length about how the extortion was accomplished and enforced which even included some leverage from the local authorities and Lords.

After a couple of hours of discussing how things stood and considering how we might be able to respond to get evidence we could use with as little risk as possible there was a loud explosion outside. The front windows shattered. I ran to the front of the pub as others scrambled further back into the pub away from the noise. Outside was a stormin big dog. I do mean stormin you might call it a Stormweiler. It was about as high on all fours as just above my elbow and it was very agitated. streaming from it randomly were mini whirlwinds and lightning. It was snarling and seemed to be hunting something. The explosion had been lightning striking a keg of flour. Around it was a maelstrom of swirling air and debris, some chunks as big as softballs. On top of that it vanished only to reappear seemingly out of thin air several feet away.

I thought if something isn't done this stormin dog is going to wreck the town, on the bright side those Steen biforkcated  beards being blown every which way was a sight to see, and the all the hair standing up and waving like everyone had put their fingers in electric sockets because of the static charge in the air almost made me laugh. But seriously how do you confront or divert something that can turn the very air into electric soup. I only had one idea. It wasn't very good since I had the least practice with Brass shadows. I walked outside and began to burn my brass shadow focusing on damping anger, fear, panic, while burning my zinc shadow focusing on calm, tired, security, and well being and hoping that as I projected those emotions they could find some hold in the stormweiler.

To my surprise it started to work until I was hit by a lightning bolt from up the street to my left. Everything was scrambled. My illusion dropped and everything went blank. Some weird shape was speaking to me some vines were spinning around me and some bright speck was darting back and forth while I tried to steady myself. Then lightning started to jump from the stormin dog to me and follow the open path to the big bug thing that hit me with lightning in the first place. While the current surged through me I started to understand the weird shape was that Fractal and was I Relcar. That didn't seem right but Fractal told me I could channel that current where I wanted it and away from me I just needed to tap the shadow storm in my metal. A burst of cleansing power shot out of me at the big bug, was that a void bringer? And nothing happened to it.

The stormin dog saw the thing and I have never seen something so big move so fast. One minute it was several yards on my right and the next it was ripping into the bug thing with its teeth. I didn't know what those teeth were made of but that bug armor was no match for it. somewhere in the back of my head I thought I must have revealed the big bug to the stormweiler with the lightning. Arcs of black power, voidlight?, seemed drawn to the stormin dog and then the thing dissolved in place. The Dog looked at me with a hungry expression and I burned aluminum. All the shadow power vanished and my head started to clear. As my head cleared I burned my Identity and slumped to the ground. Ironically the Dog just came over and licked me and laid down next to me as I rebuilt my illusion. It was dark and things happened very fast so no one would notice what I really looked liked. I decided to call the stormin dog Brandy because that was what I felt like having right then. It didn't seem to mind.

We all called it a night after that and walked back to my cottage. The look on the spies faces set to watch me was priceless when I got home. Harvest said "I think we have something new to cultivate here."

[BenduLuke]

55 minutes ago, LewsTherinTelescope said:

What I meant was more the part on storing his own emotions, like frustration or pain. I was intending it as an addendum to the previous suggestion. Like, if you do take the option of making him be affected by other people's emotions and such, it would probably be a good idea to change how storing his emotions away works, so that he can't just store away these emotions that are affecting him without other downsides (in the example I proposed, becoming overall less emotional would be the drawback, but there's probably other downsides you could come up with as well). Otherwise, it doesn't end up being as much of a weakness.

Yeah, that's why I suggested things like being affected by the emotional states of those around him, as it fits the more temporary mirroring aspect of the unconscious uses of the powers, I feel.

With his oaths and other integrated partial personalities over time he will become more like Hoid in that he will be less willing to take destructive action against beings. Over time he will only be able to integrate the most integrity supporting qualities. You think Kal has an issue with picking sides wait until he completes the Radiant circle. Harmony only knows what he will do then.

Take a look at the qualities inherent in Radiants and consider how you might integrate them. Who will he bond to for Bondsmith? Why? Does he already have that bond at least partially?

[LewsTherinTelescope]

1 hour ago, BenduLuke said:

With his oaths and other integrated partial personalities over time he will become more like Hoid in that he will be less willing to take destructive action against beings. Over time he will only be able to integrate the most integrity supporting qualities. You think Kal has an issue with picking sides wait until he completes the Radiant circle. Harmony only knows what he will do then.

Ah, I see. Yeah, I think that will be interesting. Having to balance all the Ideals certainly sounds difficult, though not impossible, and I'm curious to see how he'll handle this!

I'm a bit curious, though: how strictly do the Ideals bind him? So far I had thought that he'd mostly kind of been skipping the requirements with the Identity from the old Radiant. Is this not the case? How does this work for spren like Cryptics or highspren, where the Ideals are extremely personalized and living up to a theme will not alone account for it, but rather a pretty specific Ideal is necessary?

1 hour ago, BenduLuke said:

It wasn't very good since I had the least practice with Brass shadows. I walked outside and began to burn my brass shadow focusing on damping anger, fear, panic, while burning my zinc shadow focusing on calm, tired, security, and well being and hoping that as I projected those emotions they could find some hold in the stormweiler.

What are the zinc and brass shadows being discussed here?

[BenduLuke]

18 hours ago, LewsTherinTelescope said:

Ah, I see. Yeah, I think that will be interesting. Having to balance all the Ideals certainly sounds difficult, though not impossible, and I'm curious to see how he'll handle this!

I'm a bit curious, though: how strictly do the Ideals bind him? So far I had thought that he'd mostly kind of been skipping the requirements with the Identity from the old Radiant. Is this not the case? How does this work for spren like Cryptics or highspren, where the Ideals are extremely personalized and living up to a theme will not alone account for it, but rather a pretty specific Ideal is necessary?

What are the zinc and brass shadows being discussed here?

consider Lightweavers value creativity and honesty, Willshapers value resoluteness (I interpret as integrity) and building, Edgedancers value being loving and healing (mercy). So far those are the orders he is fully connected to and in order to continue that connection he must act in accordance to those values. Yes his oaths may be personalized to himself, but are equally binding as well. The only shortcut was in initiating the connections during the revival process, he still needed to complete those connections through sincere and binding oaths. Like Hoid his abilities enabled him to ease the transition of the Spren bond. I have an idea how I will integrate the Skybreaker ideals of Justice and confidence which have the potential to contradict Edgedancer ideals.

You may note that quicksilver stores the identity of metals in his aluminum minds which he can innately burn so the aluminum because of that acts as if it is that metal, but he is not actually burning Brass and Zinc but aluminum identified as those metals so shadow metals.

[BenduLuke]

As I laid down for sleep Lumina asked me, "with your power how did you get captured?"

"Are you asking what they did to capture me, or how were they strong enough to capture me?" I responded.

She continued, "Yes, how did they have power to capture you?, More than that since they seemed to have that power how could you escape."

I said "I got captured because there is a law to power, and that same law helped to free me. With all power comes restriction, the greater the power the greater the restriction."

She looked puzzled so I continued.

I remember when I first learned this lesson.

I had just learned how to shadow Bronze and so finally understood how to integrate being both a seeker and a sentry. I noticed that there are qualities which each metal born shares with those who use the same metal.

In the case of Bronze it was that they can become obsessively observant of and preoccupied with people who are a potential invested threat of any kind. What I realized that day was that to be effective with Bronze I needed to be alert and present, but if tipped into be obsessive it would narrow my awareness.

Mastering physical skills is easier than incorporating a new quality or value. It takes constant attention to remain alert and present without becoming paranoid which would lead to a form of potential insanity.

With that realization I started to look for qualities shared in other metals. Most obvious was pewter. They have a near obsessive focus on strength, but mostly on the physical aspect of strength. With some this can be diluted by some types of feruchemy. One quality that pewter could provide strength in is balance, but there is no feruchemical compliment that can store it except nicrosil and it normally only stores physical balance.

That in fact was the other piece of the power puzzle that I first realized with Bronze. Pewter focuses on strength and some of the people with the strongest character were thugs and brutes who went beyond just the physical in their values. They maintained a balance and dexterity in the things they did.

Iron focuses inward, steel takes action, tin observes, zinc expands, and so on to integrate each metal I had to incorporate a new quality into my character and balance it with all the others. With Nicrosil I had to adopt the qualities of sacrifice and support.

So when the ghostbloods captured me they inadvertently place me in a situation contrary to my character to use my full ability to escape, but in not understanding what hobbled me and thus underestimating my actual potential as a result they later left an opening for me to exploit to escape.

To be honest I told Lumina, for me mirroring metal arts is not much different than swearing oaths and may have actually prepared me to be here. For me balance is key to my abilities.

Edited April 9, 2021 by BenduLuke
more readability

[LewsTherinTelescope]

3 hours ago, BenduLuke said:

consider Lightweavers value creativity and honesty, Willshapers value resoluteness (I interpret as integrity) and building, Edgedancers value being loving and healing (mercy). So far those are the orders he is fully connected to and in order to continue that connection he must act in accordance to those values. Yes his oaths may be personalized to himself, but are equally binding as well.

Ah, okay. I must just have missed the Ideals being sworn, my bad.

Quote

You may note that quicksilver stores the identity of metals in his aluminum minds which he can innately burn so the aluminum because of that acts as if it is that metal, but he is not actually burning Brass and Zinc but aluminum identified as those metals so shadow metals.

I see, interesting.

3 hours ago, BenduLuke said:

I have an idea how I will integrate the Skybreaker ideals of Justice and confidence which have the potential to contradict Edgedancer ideals.

Hm, I've often seen those as some of the most compatible orders, honestly. An activist seeking justice for the oppressed feels like something both would like, for example. I'm curious to see what path Quicksilver takes with them!

 

Him getting into the philosophies of the metals in the newest post was interesting. 

[BenduLuke]

Just now, LewsTherinTelescope said:

Ah, okay. I must just have missed the Ideals being sworn, my bad.

I see, interesting.

Hm, I've often seen those as some of the most compatible orders, honestly. An activist seeking justice for the oppressed feels like something both would like, for example. I'm curious to see what path Quicksilver takes with them!

 

Him getting into the philosophies of the metals in the newest post was interesting. 

Justice and mercy cannot both be fulfilled at the same time without some kind of intermediary. Justice is the eye for an eye ideal. Without some intervening factor Justice is ultimately undeniable by mercy. In the eye of Justice everything good must be rewarded fully, and every thing bad must be punished fully but in no case more or less than what is warranted. Justice is part of what ties Harmony's hands. that being said edgedancers actual ideal isn't stated as mercy, but as being loving and healing so there is room for actual Justice there especially when balancing being loving and Just toward the victims in including the victim in the situation resolution.

I view character building to be harder than just learning physical abilities, information, or acquiring powers, and ultimately has the potential to provide limits.The more complete a persons character the more restrictions they have.

[MiaLaD10]

Hey, I've been reading this again and I can say that at least for me you have improved since the first post!

I don't tend to like super strong characters as protagonists but that's a me thing, but the restrictions to maintain all the ideals and identities sounds really cool and interesting for me! 

I would love to say more to help you with the writing or more complex opinions, but English isn't my first language and honestly I'm quite bad at it. The only thing I could say is that in the last story post you had a really big paragraph and that was a little hard to read, so maybe when you see those really big paragraphs you could try to "cut" them in two? If that makes sense for the moment obviously. (this could be a me problem also, because mobile 17 shard has really small lines).

As always, I hope you all are doing okay and having a great day. If you are not, I hope things get better. 

With love, Mia UwU.

Edit: Ohhh, one last thing! How does quicksilver looks? I don't promise to finish it, but I would like to try drawing it. 

Edited April 4, 2021 by MiaLaD10
Added a question

[LewsTherinTelescope]

6 hours ago, BenduLuke said:

Justice and mercy cannot both be fulfilled at the same time without some kind of intermediary. Justice is the eye for an eye ideal. Without some intervening factor Justice is ultimately undeniable by mercy. In the eye of Justice everything good must be rewarded fully, and every thing bad must be punished fully but in no case more or less than what is warranted. Justice is part of what ties Harmony's hands. that being said edgedancers actual ideal isn't stated as mercy, but as being loving and healing so there is room for actual Justice there especially when balancing being loving and Just toward the victims in including the victim in the situation resolution.

I'm mostly going off the Ideals and the Radiant order blurbs than the Divine Attributes since there's more specifics there. These lines feel very similar to me:

Quote

Edgedancer oaths are themed around remembering the ordinary people of the world—those who aren’t powerful generals or Radiants. Too often, the actions of the powerful have terrible effects on the people with no voice, and the Edgedancers consider it their solemn duty to remember that the people are the ones they truly serve.

 

Quote

The Skybreakers were the enforcers of the Knights Radiant, often tasked with keeping the peace, policing the other Orders, and making certain that dangerous or dark forces in the world were contained. This sometimes gave them a bad reputation among the more free-thinking Orders of Knights, but the Skybreakers (at their best) were not merciless. They were the ones who believed that nobody, not even a Radiant, should be above being questioned. They were the ones that did the sometimes tough job of making certain that the Orders didn’t abuse their power to become tyrants, as the Skybreakers saw that those with powers could easily oppress those who had none.

I also disagree with the assertion that justice and mercy are incompatible. In my opinion, knowing when to be merciful is a core part of being truly just and fair, as opposed to merely punishing. But this is of course heavily open to personal interpretation of these concepts.

6 hours ago, BenduLuke said:

I view character building to be harder than just learning physical abilities, information, or acquiring powers, and ultimately has the potential to provide limits.The more complete a persons character the more restrictions they have.

Yeah, I can see that, especially when it comes to the Radiants.

[BenduLuke]

On 4/3/2021 at 10:20 PM, MiaLaD10 said:

Hey, I've been reading this again and I can say that at least for me you have improved since the first post!

I don't tend to like super strong characters as protagonists but that's a me thing, but the restrictions to maintain all the ideals and identities sounds really cool and interesting for me! 

I would love to say more to help you with the writing or more complex opinions, but English isn't my first language and honestly I'm quite bad at it. The only thing I could say is that in the last story post you had a really big paragraph and that was a little hard to read, so maybe when you see those really big paragraphs you could try to "cut" them in two? If that makes sense for the moment obviously. (this could be a me problem also, because mobile 17 shard has really small lines).

As always, I hope you all are doing okay and having a great day. If you are not, I hope things get better. 

With love, Mia UwU.

Edit: Ohhh, one last thing! How does quicksilver looks? I don't promise to finish it, but I would like to try drawing it. 

You know since I am using first person Quicksilver's appearance hasn't been something easily addressed or presented. Most people I know don't describe their own reflections.

That being said I view him as ageless somewhere between 30 and 60. He is medium height between 5 ft 8 in and 6 ft with a medium athletic build. His eyes are hazel so shift depending on things like light, mood, clothing, and other environmental factors. He has medium reddish brown hair tapper cut slightly curly just above the ears. Oval face Mediterranean clean shaven features and lightly tanned olive skin. His eyes are his most prominent feature since they are piercing otherwise his appearance is unremarkable and blends into a crowd. Of course with illusion he can appear almost like anyone.

Kind of an older ageless Landon Kirby from Legacies like appearance with reddish medium brown hair.

[BenduLuke]

Soon I faded off to sleep.

In my dreams I saw the child locked in place so that if I resisted it I would cause its injury or death as they stripped me of metal but locked me into aluminum cuffs to neutralize the powers they thought I had. I was stamped again and again to make me docile and compliant day after day. During one of those periods I saw my chance. They thought I was completely under their control because of the stamp. They thought the stamp would last another day or more, and with almost anyone else it would have, but I swapped most of the stamped identity with my own identity hidden and undetectable within me and jumped through the opening into the unknown.

I woke with my heart racing and sweat on my face from the sensation of falling before I realized that I was safe in my bed.

Edited April 9, 2021 by BenduLuke

[BenduLuke]

I couldn't get back to sleep so I prepared to head to the market. Brandy and I passed by the watchers and just to be vexing I waved at them.

We arrived at the market square early to set up. No one was about yet. I cleaned up the rubble in my space and for several yards around putting it in buckets. While I waited for others to arrive I covertly shaped the stones and debris into little stone animals and models. Brandy after seeing me pick up the debris went all over the square to bring me more, to which I praised him and patted him. As I finished each small statue I changed the stone to relate to the shape. An elephant might be jade. I made an onyx panther. some were pearl or sandstone or marble. I made a granite bear. I finished with a multi color topaz eagle as other vendors started to arrive.

While the others set up their stalls they eyed Brandy with suspicion, but soon began to appreciate that he was picking up the mess around the square. I spent the time setting out the new statues in a space next to my more useful products.

As i set out the items Lumina asked me "were you an artist on you old world?"

"Yes were you?" asked Harvest, "These creatures look very lifelike."

"No. I think I inherited some of my artistic skill from my bond with Fractal and from weaving my soul for so long." I Said. "I also think that my connections with each of you has broadened what little artistic talent I posses with practical skills that I inherited from each of you."

At that moment Brandy came up and looked at me then nodded dropping the not insubstantial stone at my feet. I patted his head and thanked him then he went behind my stall laid down and curled up seemingly content with what he had done but decidedly finished for now. Interestingly his coat faded and took on the color and texture of the paving stones making him almost seem to disappear.

It was late in the afternoon that the stranger in the long dark coat floated down into the square observing everyone suspiciously. Ander was haggling with a grain merchant nearby. Others were negotiating for goods to take home or engaging in gossip and conversation. My most recent customer was walking away. Brandy briefly opened one eye.

The dark stranger landed and said "I am here to serve a writ for breaking the peace and murder of a local overlord."

He pointed right at Ander "you have been identified as one trying to subvert the lawful order and as such are the prime suspect so will come forward and identify your conspirators and submit to execution" then he drew his sword.

Ander went pale looking around wildly for somewhere to escape to or for help from anywhere. Flander across the square ducked into hiding. Merchants and customers alike turned away from his gaze and tried to as inconspicuous as possible.I took a deep breath and stepped out from behind my booth.

In a clear voice I drew the strangers attentions saying, "Who was this overlord that was suppose to have been murdered? When did this breaking the peace and murder happen? What gives you the right to accuse anyone here?"

The stranger grinned. He asked "are you one of his conspirators?"

Ander eyes wide and still white as a sheet said to me "I can't believe it. Do you know who that is?"

I responded to Ander first "it really doesn't matter who he is I can't just let him execute you outright."

Then to the stranger I said, " it depends on what you mean by conspiritor, I am someone he does business with on occasion for goods and services. I can't just allow you to execute him just because of some flimsy paper you call a writ."

He grinned wider and began to glow brightly.

I said, "so you are a Knight Radiant, I thought you were all about honor? where is the honor in this?"

He replied, "I am the law and he has broken the law. Last nights disturbance and the murder of the Fused overlord is all I need to execute judgment on this known criminal. Now I can add you to that execution order."

I nodded as a chill went through me and I went deadly cold. My focus narrowed as my awareness expanded. Shadow bronze burned inside me gathering locations of power all around me then shadow copper ignited within me concealing any awareness of my own power to others.

My eyes burning liquid silver I said, "I may not know what you are specifically, but you have no idea what I am. So far as I have determined this man here has not done anything to justify execution. In fact he has acted with integrity if in his own self interest so far as i can determine so far."

Stormlight streamed to me from all over the square. I looked through to shademar and saw the Highspren acting as his sword. A creature of stars and shadow. It saw me as well. Though stormlight streamed to me in thick ribbons I didn't glow. Shadow gathered around us. A power sink forming a barrier in a sphere encompassing us with me at the center.

"I have heard of your order Skybreaker," I continued, "and you are preparing to cross the line of justice. Your next choices will determine many futures especially your own."

He stated once again "I am the law, justice is mine to determine, this writ gives me that right in this jurisdiction. Submit to execution and spare yourself undo agony." Plate formed instantly around him and he surged forward with blinding speed.

I tapped steelrunner speed sliding his stike past me with the palm of my hand. A wall of solid granite jumped from the ground in front of him and shattered on impact. Stormlight started to stream from the armor and I dew it to me. Brandy knocked pails full of stones into the air between me and the Skybreaker. The stones shaped into metal spikes which I steelrunner pushed at the Skybreaker battering him further backward as he turned to face me.

Flame and destuciton erupted all around me, but where it touched me it vanished. I neutralized and captured the identity of the destruction focused on me storing it in a nicrosil shadow. The sink sphere boarders darkened around us. He launched a heavy stone for me from his palm as he surged upward with more stones to fire at me. As he surged upward for space he struck the barrier and his backplate flashed and cracked on contact throwing him earthward, but his surges slowed him before impact.

"Last chance," I Said, "you will leave here with an oath to release your writ and to never interfere here again or you will face the consequences."

He sneered and his armor healed. Then he surged forward with inhuman speed and strength swinging his sword for my core and I launched a hemalugic aluminum strike to his abdomen. On contact the front plate dissolved and his sword gouged my shoulder. We both heard the scream from Nova in response to the burning aluminum surging through me. Time stopped. Facing me were the Skybreaker, Nova, Lumina, Fractal, and Harvest. Our identitities inexorably connected in that timeless moment. Nova looked on the Skybreaker and said "you have crossed the Line of your oath. I will not face what these others have faced when oaths were broken instead I will take a bond with this one like these others going forward."

At my feet was a broken man and in my hand was a sword which then dissolved into mist.

[BenduLuke]

With the latest bond I felt an emptiness like an open circle. All afternoon I pondered on what might be missing. The market guards took the stranger away. Ander thanked me and left the square soon after. On the way home when I looked at one of my watchers he cringed. I wasn't doing so good at maintaining a low profile not if I was now known for confronting a Radiant and winning. No one had witnessed exactly what happened, but they knew that for a few minutes there was a Radiant there and then there wasn't and I was still there unharmed. Most didn't even realize that the stranger the guards took away had been the Radiant he looked so different and broken.

I sat at the table eating a simple meal of bread and cheese with orange wine. Fractal and the others joined me each seeming to sense that I needed space. As evening wore on and dusk turned to dark I contemplated what might me missing. Finally I said out loud. "I will strive to balance all around me when I can. I will be just but will seek to apply mercy when possible. I will be honest and kind, creative and resolute, pios and loving, confident and constructive, guiding and healing. I will only divide to prune, but will always seek to refine that around me to forge something better even when I must destroy. Increased harmony will be my ideal in all I do." Reality shimmered around me 3 realms merging for a timeless instant. as I heard this oath is accepted and you are finally prepared. Use the bonds you have forged to bring about harmony.

Nova looked at me puzzled and asked, "what just happened?"

The others said at once, "what just changed?"

Brandy pushed the door open as I prepared to answer drawing their attention and said, "You were creatures of Honor and Cultivation, and our partner has created a connection to yourselves and deepened his connection to Harmony. He has become Harmony's bondsmith forging a completed sphere of investiture connecting the surges of Harmony, Honor, and Cultivation within his sphere of influence.

[BenduLuke]

Early the next morning I woke to someone knocking on my door. When I opened the door Ander was waiting. I invited him in and asked him to sit while I got dressed. Once I returned I asked "what can I do for you?"

He responded "what or who are you? Yesterday I was about to be hauled in by a Skybreaker and you interceded. Some kind of opaque barrier surronded you and him and when it came down you were standing and he was a mess. There wasn't a mark on either of you. This isn't the first time something strange has happened around you. Even Flander backed off and he is not easily spooked. Last night he left the area without explaining. I was elected to find out what I could by everyone, so can you explain?

i sat for a few minutes then offered him something to eat and drink telling him this could take a while. When I returned with breakfast, egg toast with fruit glaze and tea, I sat and invited him to eat with me. Once finished I cleaned up leaving tea on the table in case he wanted refills.

I said "I am a Trueself Mirror".

"A what", he said.

Then there was another knock on the door. I held up a hand and answered. At the door was a tall thin man with silver hair sporting a silver sword.

"Dust" I Said, "what a surprise."

He answered, "I try not to be where I am expected. It seems you already have company, did I miss something?"

"Only the sky breaking yesterday", I said. "I was just about to explain to my guest a little about a Trueself Mirror."

Dust said to Ander, "Aren't you one of Thidakar's people, and you don't know about what he is?"

Ander looked utterly confused and replied, "how does that even make sense? What is a trueself .....". His face went blank as it dawned on him what he started to say. "Your a ferring?, But no ferring can do what you have done? How is this even possible?"

I responded to him, "I guess you could say I am an unintended world hopper. I never met Thidakar. One of his lieutenants thought I might be useful as he believed I would be easily impressed, but I proved more adaptable than he expected."

Dust added, "Your looking a little more Radiant these days than when I last saw you, it must be the company you have started keeping."

I grinned and replied, " you could say I am a glow with new friendships, but what brings you here?"

Ander said, "I still don't understand?"

I said, "you could say I am open to adding the best parts of people and things around me, and resistant to negative investments. Still you can assure your associates and the others that I don't hold grudges and am always looking for ways to improve things around me." Then I showed him to the door.

I poured Dust a cup of tea and asked, "You don't just show up without reason. To what do I owe your visit?"

[BenduLuke]

Dust smiled his hair bleeding to black and said, "there is a conflict coming and you are now one of Harmony's swords able to both preserve and destroy. He is preparing another to use on your home world, but he needs you to help guide other worlds starting with this one. I also need you to keep an eye on things here while I take care of other business and by the look of you I think you might finally be up to the task."

"what about this ghostblood assignment the girl gave me", I asked.

He said, "they have their place but seem to be misdirected here, you might guide them toward withdrawing for now. At least until the situation is resolved here. Once you finish with that go to the Ukalaki peaks there is an enemy agent expected soon which could prove very dangerous. I think I will have a word with T on my next trip and remind him to reign in his people here."

The rest of his visit was spent catching up and sharing news of home.

[BenduLuke]

I dressed, packed all my tools, some food, a couple changes of cloths, some basic crockery and pans with utensils into my back pack. Packed all my inventory into my hand cart, strapped on my weapons, donned my duster and hat and went to my booth in town. By mid day I had sold all my inventory. Then I headed over to the pub in search of Ander.

[BenduLuke]

I found Ander at a corner table. He seemed to be taking reports. He looked up as I approached with a puzzled expression seeming to wonder why I was there. Before he could ask I grinned and told him that their operations had drawn to much attention from both sides of the upcoming major conflict and regardless which side prevailed it would be advisable to become scarce. Then I turned and left as he and the others spluttered.

Traveling is a very interesting thing when you have both stormlight and metal at your command. Stormlight could get me into and out of the cognative, while any number of metals or pseudo metals could propel me once there to cover large distances. I could also forego the cognative and use any number of light and metal based abilities to travel quickly at will. All that aside once I stepped out of sight I concealed myself in a light illusion and walked away. When Ander and the others burst from the Pub in search of me I found it very amusing seeing them scatter to find me.

Hours later and miles away as dusk approached my Spren and I were discussing the problem of them leaving the system to travel with me. They couldn't be carried in a gem through the cognative because as we approached the limits of the system their mass increased exponentially and the pull of the system increased. Though we could break our bonds and I could leave the system on my own that seemed like a very poor choice for either them or me. So as we walked and discussed the issue I hit on an idea that I might be able to swear one final oath that would fully bind all of the Spren with me such that not only would the bond be part of my identity, but for all intents and purposes they would too. The oath went like this "In truth and compassion I will seek balance, liberty, and justice for myself and all who enter my sphere of influence."

There was a blinding surge of power around me as the as a sixth level binding formed between me and all my Spren. In that moment I stored them and that part of my identity into a bracer metal mind along with the surge of power that came with it. The illusion vanished and I was once again revealed. I burned steel and Iron dropping iron spikes and flew toward the peaks with alternating push pull surges. While I did that I stored both weight and speed for later use.

[BenduLuke]

I cleared an icy ridge and a pristine valley lay before me with a broad deep blue lake around which was a volcanically heated green valley. An urgency possesed me to reach the the perpendicularity with utmost haste. In that lake was the begining of the next chapter of my life. A chapter where I could potentially begin to heal a world in sore need of help.