Popular Post jamesbondsmith Posted November 24, 2020 Popular Post Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 This is inspired by Skippy's List, a list of things a member of the US Army apparently tried or was spontaneously told he was not allowed to do. I think the domain name for the original list may have expired, but google searches will find reprints or summaries. I think spoilers should comply with the general policy (which is spoiler tags/general no-no until 9 months post-release, if I remember correctly). I'd be interested in other people's contributions. 1) Not allowed to convince Nightblood that pineapples are evil. 2) The Windrunners are named so because of their flight abilities, and not because they like to fart and run away. 3) Not allowed to Awaken clothing while still being worn by the owner. 4) Unless it's Sadeas. 5) When a Radiant's spren is giving them encouragement during 'intimate moments', the correct response is to tell them to give them privacy, not join in the chanting. 6) Koloss are not to be referred to as 'Hulky Smurfs'. 7) Instant noodles are not worth diverting an entire planet's technological development for. 8) Shardbearers are not 'compensating for something'. 9) Neither was the architect of Urithiru. 10) I cannot copyright a colour and demand royalties from every Awakener who drains it. 11) Mistborn does not mean 'anyone who was born outside'. 12) Consulting a Feruchemist's coppermind to learn about the past is fine. Using it to try and figure out what I did while blackout drunk is not. 13) Adonalsium should be referred to by their full name, not 'Daddy Ady'. 14) I should not set all of Bavadin's avatars against each other. Even if I brought snacks for everyone else. 15) Gloryspren come from winning a hard fought battle, not finishing an entire banquet by myself. 16) The Sharts of Adonalsium do not exist. 17) Adolin Kholin is not a 'shartbearer'. 18) Must pretend that Raoden masquerading as 'Spirit' is not an obvious alias. 19) Drawing a smiley face in the sand does not mean every Aon now needs one. 20) Must not encourage Wayne. 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunamor Posted November 24, 2020 Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 21) You aren’t allowed to try to ride Frost, ancient dragons aren’t “just flying horses”. 22) You can’t make a dragon sized saddle for just in case you see “a dragon sized horse”. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spren of Kindness Posted November 24, 2020 Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 (edited) 23) Just because you could dance on a skyscraper spire doesn't mean you should. Edited November 24, 2020 by Spren of Kindness 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesbondsmith Posted November 24, 2020 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 24) I cannot use 'Shardcoconuts' to pretend I have a Ryshadium. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frustration Posted November 25, 2020 Report Share Posted November 25, 2020 (edited) 25. Just because human are edible does not mean you should eat them. Edited December 5, 2020 by Ookla The Frustrated 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negative_Null Posted November 25, 2020 Report Share Posted November 25, 2020 26. Laughter is not the best medicine. Music seems to be, however. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realmatic Shadow Posted November 27, 2020 Report Share Posted November 27, 2020 27. Just because you can Soulcast someone's weapon in the middle of a battle does not mean you should. Even if it would be funny. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingsdaughter613 Posted November 29, 2020 Report Share Posted November 29, 2020 28) Not allowed to tell other people not to meddle, no matter how correct such a statement may be, because it’s far too hypocritical. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Necessary Eagle Posted November 29, 2020 Report Share Posted November 29, 2020 (edited) 29) Not allowed to troll the new guy Harmony with 100% Correct Cosmere Facts(tm). There is no such shard as "RAFO", Kelsier's god-complex is not an "unmistakable sign that he's becoming an avatar of Adonalsium Reformed", and the Seventeenth Shard isn't here to collect door-to-door for spikeless kandra. Also, Trell is NOT "really the friends we made along the way". Edited November 29, 2020 by Necessary Eagle 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frustration Posted December 5, 2020 Report Share Posted December 5, 2020 30. Inventing instant noodles is not an acceptable reason to stage a coup. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spren of Kindness Posted December 5, 2020 Report Share Posted December 5, 2020 31. Playing emergency tones on your flute doesn't work. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoid the Former Drifter Posted December 18, 2020 Report Share Posted December 18, 2020 okay, who the hell do you all think you are to waltz on in and tell me what to do? Here i am, unable to hurt anyone, unable to eat any meat, which means no more bacon, stuck without instant noodles, trying to deal with 15 entities holding pieces of god, and you think you can tell me what to do? Rust and ruin, man, storm off! On 11/24/2020 at 11:32 AM, jamesbondsmith said: 1) Not allowed to convince Nightblood that pineapples are evil. Fine! I'll convince him that all of you are evil instead. On 11/24/2020 at 11:32 AM, jamesbondsmith said: 7) Instant noodles are not worth diverting an entire planet's technological development for. Rusts! You have no idea what you're saying! On 11/29/2020 at 0:50 AM, Kingsdaughter613 said: 28) Not allowed to tell other people not to meddle, no matter how correct such a statement may be, because it’s far too hypocritical. I'm not meddling, I'm helping. On 11/24/2020 at 7:55 PM, Ookla The Frustrated said: 25. Just because human are edible does not mean you should eat them. I can't. Vegetarian, remember? Former dawnshard? And, daddy ady would not be happy if he saw this. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingsdaughter613 Posted December 18, 2020 Report Share Posted December 18, 2020 18 minutes ago, Hoid the Drifter said: I'm not meddling, I'm helping. I think many would beg to differ - including the other meddlers you disparage! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoid the Former Drifter Posted December 18, 2020 Report Share Posted December 18, 2020 well they're stupid. daddy ady would agree. he was sad when he was splintered! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingsdaughter613 Posted December 18, 2020 Report Share Posted December 18, 2020 Just now, Hoid the Drifter said: well they're stupid. daddy ady would agree. he was sad when he was splintered! He was also resigned, accepting and understanding. People were created with free will for a reason. Besides, if you don’t practice what you preach why should anyone heed what you say? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoid the Former Drifter Posted December 18, 2020 Report Share Posted December 18, 2020 (edited) because otherwise i will mess with your head until the end of time, mortal. also i will follow you around and i will never give you a moment's peace. your enemies will soon know everything about all of you... unless you take off these ridiculous restrictions. Edited December 18, 2020 by Hoid the Drifter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frustration Posted December 18, 2020 Report Share Posted December 18, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, Hoid the Drifter said: well they're stupid. daddy ady would agree. he was sad when he was splintered! Then why where you such a big part of it? Also no Dawnshard spoilers. Edited December 18, 2020 by Ookla The Frustrated 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realmatic Shadow Posted December 19, 2020 Report Share Posted December 19, 2020 20 hours ago, Hoid the Drifter said: And, daddy ady would not be happy if he saw this. 32. Not allowed to refer to Adonalsium as 'daddy ady' or any derivative thereof. Even if it humorous 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoid the Former Drifter Posted December 20, 2020 Report Share Posted December 20, 2020 (edited) On 12/18/2020 at 10:07 AM, Frustration said: Also no Dawnshard spoilers. I never actually read it On 12/18/2020 at 10:11 PM, Realmatic Shadow said: 32. Not allowed to refer to Adonalsium as 'daddy ady' or any derivative thereof. Even if it humorous I still don't care. I don't follow made up rules. DADDY ADY would say that the rule is stupid i think. And if you disagree, please don't tell me, or i'll either convince nightblood you're an evil pineapple, awaken your clothing, soulcast your weapon in the middle of a fight, or set some Hulky Smurfs on you. So watch yourself Edited December 20, 2020 by Hoid the Drifter 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frustration Posted December 20, 2020 Report Share Posted December 20, 2020 9 minutes ago, Hoid the Drifter said: I still don't care. I don't follow made up rules. DADDY ADY would say that the rule is stupid i think. If you like him so much why did you kill him? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoid the Former Drifter Posted December 20, 2020 Report Share Posted December 20, 2020 Just now, Frustration said: If you like him so much why did you kill him? I don't like him, i'm just saying he would agree and that he was sad that we killed him. maybe i regret that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaladin Stormdepressed Posted December 20, 2020 Report Share Posted December 20, 2020 (edited) 33. Stories and general things about the cosmere are not allowed to be explained NO MATTER WHAT lest you ruin your Zahel appointed @sshole status Edited December 21, 2020 by Kaladin Stormdepressed 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friendshipspren Posted December 21, 2020 Report Share Posted December 21, 2020 (edited) 33). You are never under no circumstance allowed to release ur pet lifeless Koloss out of ur allomantic bond. 34). You are for preservation of ur own life and sanity never allowed to engage Wit in a tickle fight. 35). Hoid is not allowed to call himself " highprincess of the mobile strike force " 36). Hoid is not allowed to be a Sex-Ed teacher for Cryptics 37). Hoid is not from an alternate timeline. A) He cannot issue orders to "preserve the timeline". B). Or to" corrupt the timeline". C).Or to "screw with those history nerds" 38). Hoid and Zahel are not allowed to interact without the presence of a responsible administrator. A). Lopen does not count as a responsible administrator. B). Nor does Shallan . C). Or Veil In fact, let's just keep the two of them apart, period. Edited December 21, 2020 by Friendshipspren 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingsdaughter613 Posted December 21, 2020 Report Share Posted December 21, 2020 1 hour ago, Friendshipspren said: 33). You are never under no circumstance allowed to release ur pet lifeless Koloss out of ur allomantic bond. 34). You are for preservation of ur own life and sanity never allowed to engage Wit in a tickle fight. 35). Hoid is not allowed to call himself " highprincess of the mobile strike force " 36). Hoid is not allowed to be a Sex-Ed teacher for Cryptics 37). Hoid is not from an alternate timeline. A) He cannot issue orders to "preserve the timeline". B). Or to" corrupt the timeline". C).Or to "screw with those history nerds" 38). Hoid and Zahel are not allowed to interact without the presence of a responsible administrator. A). Lopen does not count as a responsible administrator. B). Nor does Shallan . C). Or Veil In fact, let's just keep the two of them apart, period. Following up on 38: 39: Hoid is NEVER allowed to be within a mile of Kelsier (or vice versa) without a suitable intermediary. Only Sazed counts as suitable, as nothing short of a Shard can contain either of them, and Saze is the best of the Shards. Also the only one on Scadrial. 40: Related to the above, Hoid is not allowed to trick random people into unwittingly declaring war on Scadrial to mess with Kelsier. 41: Similarly, he may not trick random people into unwittingly declaring war on whatever group Warbreaker (under whatever name he is currently using) has joined. 42: Nor may he trick random people into causing trouble for Wan ShaiLu. 43: He is also not allowed to attend the ‘Hoid is an Asshole’ club annual gatherings, even if he agrees with the premise. (To start with Kelsier will be there, violating rule 39.) 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoid the Former Drifter Posted December 21, 2020 Report Share Posted December 21, 2020 1 hour ago, Kingsdaughter613 said: Also the only one on Scadrial. alright, that's debatable. And ruin take all of you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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