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Sharder One-Liners


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5 hours ago, Chasmgoat said:

"Have I ever told you about the tricycle kid I murdered?" - Kings_way

"marry vapor" - Connie

 

Wait, when did this happen? I don't remember this.

1 hour ago, I Am A Fish said:

Being a hero is boring...

Villain's have more resources, better lines, and cooler color schemes.

I'd have thought my claim to fame would be starting a fish cult or something.

 

You started a fish cult? Oh, right. Your claim to fame is way too many apostrophes, I think. I love being the hero! :)

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I AM HERE FOR THIS THREAD 

"You're such an Ene, Ene." - Ax

"I think I've figured out that I get extra unread PMs when Ene shows up." - Kidpen

"I have no idea what is going on. I left for dinner and you guys have a whole new RP :blink:" - Mistspren

"Help, I’ve fangirled and I can’t get up!" - Ash

"I ship one of my friends with this random collection of human souls he has sitting in his basement." - Ash

"Voidus is not my mother. Even he would cower against her awesome prowess." - Mac

"For some reason I always assumed Voidus looked like Wilson from Home Improvement." - Kar 

"Ark, I'm pretty sure I killed you before the end of the world happened." - Star

"The frick works in mysterious ways." - Zinc

"NO GOVERNMENT SPY COULD BE THAT ADORABLE." - Luna

"If you're fragile enough that a nigh-unstoppable instrument of death that obliterates the very soul of anything it touches can kill you, you shouldn't be creating monsters." - Voidus

"I was not expecting my status update to devolve to cremposting. That's what Ene's are for." - Fire

"Can we talk about how he said 'Holy Pringles'?" - Po

"I’m not sure if a giant wall of cake would stop a van." - Ocelot

"Characters are cute, but, like geodes, are more interesting when you break them." - Witless

"I think you just accidentally summon the weird and profit from it." - Lith

“I am definitely able to rip your face off in .5 seconds.” - Me (whenever it says me it means Ene) 

"Ene only needs one attack per day, and I happen to know that that quota is already going to be filled." - Storm 

Ah, so in the Eneverse there are multiple Enes. That Ene is not the you Ene, but an Ene from a different universe within the Eneverse. I see.” - Salad 

If Nath can control the universe, Queen can wear a sentient hat, and Fadran can speak in public, then you can fit a spaceship into a backpack.” - Fadran 

At this point it seems like it’s basically become a rite of passage on the Shard to be afraid of Ene before you get to know her :P“ - Salad 

Most of my thoughts are just a keyboard smash if I’m being honest.” - Salad 

"The Voidspammer sneered at me. "Do you actually think you can beat the mighty ToysRUs, human?"" - Me

"I give up it's Fred his name is Fred." - Arlin

"GAH! You're having an emotion! Stay back! Back, I say!" - Zath

"IF I DIE, I DIE FOR CHRISTMASTREE!" - Me

"Whatever, at least my hole also has Wayne, Marasi, and a bomb flying at it. Best hole." - Me

"Yes, Very Deerk." - Archer 

"That was a very good wrath." - Zath

"Which one was licking your foot?" - Silva

"We had a planet that I'm shocked humanity managed to live on. We had fungus!" - Me

"The Alleyverse is truly a beautiful mess." - Stormblessed Dolphin

"All Elend could say was: "You're all cats?"" - Elend

"ENE HAS ATTAINED SUGAR, I REPEAT, ENE HAS ATTAINED SUGAR" - Luna

"I'd've punched myself in the face but I don't think any of my characters are healers." - Me

"Oh heck a whole box of Sorana this is my lucky day." - Zinc

"The barbed wire will come and on that day we shall rue." - Sleeping Invo

"Why can't my ancestor's name be Ferrilus Wombert?" - Olivaughn

"Dogs birthing dogs makes sense. Unicorns pooping melting pandas makes less sense." - Zinc

"What the fuchsia?" - Me

"I’m skipping the more boring stuff here, but now I CAN MAKE MULTPLE TAILS. SPECIFICALLY MULTIPLE, GUYS. [later] It says seal creation and I’m pretty sure it means creation of like, stamp-type seals, as in sealing something but I am purposely misinterpreting it to mean seal creation like the animals because that’s what I thought when I first saw the name and you’re not taking my seals away from me." - Me 

"AHAHAHA I HAVE GAINED YOUR SOUL BY WAY OF YOUR BEDROOM LAMP" - Me 

more later 

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"Expect a FedEx with your Weapon of Mass Destruction postcard sometime this next week." - Ap 

"And in those treacherous sarchasms, there lie deadly beasts known as sarchasmfeinds." - Ink 

"I think I'm more interested in Pokemon Black than Disneyland. This is moderately distressing." - Chaos 2011 

"Apollyon, why do like the way Ene's palm tastes?" - Ax 

There's more, just gimme a year to get them all       Edit: here's ten from 2018 Ene, cringe may follow, but hey that's what the Shard is for, yeah? 

Spoiler

Potatoes. However, frogs as well. You have doomed art teachers everywhere. I hope you enjoy your severed hand.

I wish to know what Ideal Kelsier is at so I can know if I should be worried.

I don't know if Bavadin has a tongue. But if she does, then we'll turn the tongues of ALL HER AVATARS blue. That is now my mission.

I don't think little kid me had many villains. Those stories were all about inner conflict and finding your way back home from another world and stuff. Little kid me was weird.

I wake up and pull out Stormlight Omnibus from the future, saying, "Fight me."

I glare at the burrito. Menacingly.

There was the letter N and I just added uked and then it all spiraled everywhere...

Three moons and Sanderson's glasses, I did not expect that to happen.

Yup, that's me all right - satire incarnate.

I would never insult your victims.

 

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On 11/21/2020 at 11:13 AM, I Am A Fish said:

I'd have thought my claim to fame would be starting a fish cult or something. 

For me, it's definitely "I want Kaladin to eat poop so we can know how it tastes" followed by a RP called "Getcha self some chull dung soup" :P 

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