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Eternal - Book One of the Keyed Trilogy


xinoehp512

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Guest Somebody from Scadrial
On 9/4/2020 at 7:06 AM, Shard of Thought said:

I thought it would be fun to draw something for each of the chapters we post, yesterday I drew chapter one's drawing yesterday. I'll be working on the prologue drawing today, I so glad everyone has been loving it so far!!! :lol: I'm literally in tears I'm so happy. 

Edit: I've tried two different things for a drawing and they're both way too hard for me. :unsure: BUT, I call tell you that the art for chapter one is already done and it is incredible.

Hey I was wondering what those two things were? Maybe I could give them a try?

Ok so here's some miscellaneous art for this series

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Edited by Somebody from Roshar
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2 hours ago, Somebody from Roshar said:

Hey I was wondering what those two things were? Maybe I could give them a try?

Ok so here's some miscellaneous art for this series

Oh my goodness, I love it so much!! That's awesome! I don't remember what the first thing of X-6574 was that I tried to draw, but the second was him floating in the black liquid of his chamber. It turned out... less than only okay. *shrug* You're welcome to take a shot at it if you'd like!

The Key actually already has a canon symbol, I painted a picture of it a while back. Pretty cool, huh? (though, my lines aren't as straight as I would have liked them to be) I also did some art of the Key itself last Inktober. (And I'll be doing Inktober this year too, totally check out my thread when I post it next month!)

Spoiler

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And this was the art from Inktober.

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I should show you guys some art of the main characters, shouldn't I? I'm not going to give names because names get tripy, but....

Spoiler

The main character (of the first book)

Spoiler

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My favorite character

Spoiler

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The inventor

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The hired gun (and also one of my favorites)

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The crewleader

Spoiler

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And of course, y'all will get more art with every chapter. I'm working pretty hard on chapter two, it's getting close to being done, but I dunno about chapter one. 

 

Edited by Shard of Thought
Shameless Inktober plug.
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Guest Somebody from Scadrial
1 hour ago, Shard of Thought said:

I'm working pretty hard on chapter two, it's getting close to being done, but I dunno about chapter one. 

Ok wait a minute who's writing this you or @xinoehp512? Also I can completely understand why you can't draw the black liquid I could maybe do it by converting my normal drawing into gimp and overlaying a black texture thingy but it would be a LOT of work

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Guest Somebody from Scadrial

I know this is verging on spoiler territory but does X-6574 get a nickname this is going to be chapter 1/2 so it doesn't seem like to much of a spoiler I've been calling him X in short hand but what is a his nickname/a simple name I can use without memorising 4 numbers

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6 hours ago, Somebody from Roshar said:

Ok wait a minute who's writing this you or @xinoehp512? Also I can completely understand why you can't draw the black liquid I could maybe do it by converting my normal drawing into gimp and overlaying a black texture thingy but it would be a LOT of work

We are both writing this together. ^_^ I have written about 95% of what we have so far though. 

6 hours ago, Somebody from Roshar said:

I know this is verging on spoiler territory but does X-6574 get a nickname this is going to be chapter 1/2 so it doesn't seem like to much of a spoiler I've been calling him X in short hand but what is a his nickname/a simple name I can use without memorizing 4 numbers

He does, in fact, get a nickname later, but it's pretty late in the book. I would say just call him X. Otherwise, I just call him X sixty five seventy four, which I find is easier to remember. 

Also, just for future reference, double posting is typically frowned upon here, you can just edit the post before. It's okay if you didn't know though. :)

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12 hours ago, Shard of Thought said:

(And I'll be doing Inktober this year too, totally check out my thread when I post it next month!)

I also might do this. It's a maybe, and it'd be pencil-under with sharpie... but it could happen. (Nice art btw)

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CHAPTER TWO IS DONE. Xino hasn't finished chapter 1 yet, but you don't need to have read chapter 1 to read this. So. Without any further ado, here is chapter 2: A Fateful Meeting. Enjoy!!

Oh, head's up, this pretty long, it was about 7 and a half pages on google docs. :ph34r:

Spoiler

A little girl, slight of frame with long brown hair, ran under the moonlight. She didn’t quite understand why she found it important that she get away quickly—it wasn’t as if she was being chased—but she was scared and that seemed like a good enough reason. Ducking through shadows, her eyes scanned the darkened streets for a decent place to… to what? Did she even really know what she was doing? She only had with her what she could carry in her bag—a change of clothes, some spare change stolen from a cupboard where she knew money was kept, and a pittance of food that wouldn’t last her two days. Preparation was not really her strong suit. If Ms. Whitt knew what she had stolen, she would be severely punished. Luckily, by the time she did find out, the little girl would be far from home. 

Tamika peeked her head around an alleyway. As far as she could tell, it was unoccupied. Not an hour ago, she had tried joining a group of urchins that looked about her age. To say the least, the bruises that would undoubtedly form in the morning were the result of her foolishness. Hopefully she would fare better here. She entered the alcove, her shadow creeping alongside her on the wall. It didn’t smell terribly pleasant, but it wasn’t as if she could afford to go anywhere else and she had found far, far worse places to sleep. The hour was late and it wouldn’t do to be exhausted tomorrow. Having scanned the corners for any other occupants to find it utterly empty, she sat on the cobblestones, realizing with a chill that she was alone. 

But she had chosen to be here, she had chosen to run away. A warm bed and beatings in exchange for cold nights and freedom. Well, anyway, it didn’t matter. She couldn’t go back now, even if she wanted to. All that was left to make the best of this situation. It would be hard, but she was confident she could make it. Why would she have run away otherwise? Maybe she was a little bit crazy, but it didn’t matter. The past was behind her. As far as she was concerned it didn’t exist. She had no name, no story, no life at all. She was a shadow and everything she did from here on out would transform her into something. It didn’t matter what—anything was better than being that terrified little child. She’d fight. And she’d win. But for now, she’d sleep, awaiting the mysteries of the day ahead.

The strands of morning danced on Tamika’s face, gently waking her. Her back ached from sleeping on the hard stones, but the pain was nothing compared to what she’d suffered at her mother’s hands before. She stood up and rubbed her eyes, sighing. Today was a day of experimentation. Who knew if she’d be sleeping in this same alley once night fell? In fact, there was a large possibility that she wouldn’t even be alive by nightfall. Not for the first time, she questioned her sanity for leaving. But she’d made her decision. And there was no going back now. She only hoped that-

“I heard that someone was encroaching on my territory,” said a voice behind her, interrupting her thoughts. It was smooth with a distinct, yet awkwardly thick accent. “I did not hear that it was a little girl.”

Tamika whirled around to find herself in the shadow of a strange young man. In his hand was a long staff, longer than he was tall. He had dark skin, high cheekbones, messy black hair, and pale green eyes. He looked dangerous. 

Tami paled, swallowing. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. “I didn’t know anyone… lived here.”

The boy smirked as he approached her, his shadow overtaking hers. “What’s your name, little girl?”

“Tamika. Tamika Meare.”

“Well, Tamika you do understand that this is my alley and I won it. You’re trespassing.”

“I didn’t see a sign,” she returned, finding her courage. “I’m new to all of this, but I thought street rats took what they wanted. You weren’t here to claim this when I came. So I say it’s mine now.”

He laughed. “You’re a bold one. I like it. Unfortunately, boldness will probably get you killed. Killed by someone like me.”

Tamika froze.

He laughed again, louder this time. “I’m kidding. It’s the bold ones who are crazy enough to survive. But I’m thinking with you, I might be mistaking that courage for lack of understanding. You really don’t know what you’re doing, do you, little girl?”

“No,” she whispered. 

“Figured. Catch.” He tossed her something. An apple. “You look hungry.” 

Tamika regarded the fruit warily. She was hungry. She’d gotten used to always having a belly only half full and she assumed that it wouldn’t be much better here on the streets. Having food simply handed to her made her feel… cheated. 

“Go ahead, eat it. It won’t hurt you and it won’t do you any good outside of your body.”

Tamika raised it to her lips and took a bite, more to satisfy the boy than anything else. It was juicier than she had expected—certainly better than anything she’d had access to before—and she wiped her lips with her sleeve, watching her companion uncertainly. “So do I get to keep the alley?”

The boy grinned brightly, green eyes glimmering. It was an off-puttingly friendly expression. “I’m afraid not. I’m not very good at keeping little ones alive.”

For a moment, Tamika considered fighting back. Would it be worth it? Did she even have a change up against him? His sleeveless shirt exposed well-sculpted slender limbs, but she herself was relatively fast and stronger than she looked. Still, she hesitated, running her thumb over the fruit’s smooth skin, trying to place whether his smile was truly a friendly one or if his eyes hid something sinister. He had joked about killing her, after all. Was there a hidden truth to his seemingly playful banter?

“Still,” he continued, “I am willing to help you, at least for the day.”

“Alright,” Tamika said carefully. 

“So,” said the boy, twirling his long staff nonchalantly between his fingers. Tamika watched his fluid movements with interest. “What’s your story, Tamika?”

“Why do you want to know?”

The boy shrugged. “Only seems fair if we’re to spend the day together.”

“I don’t even know your name.”

“True, true…” He held out his hand. “I’m Ralvon.”

Tamika eyed his calloused fingers warrily before giving him her hand. She seemed to be giving something up by touching him. His eyes… there was something so disarming about them. It made her feel exposed. “Ralvon,” she repeated, mostly to make sure she was pronouncing it correctly. His thick drawl was a bit hard to understand. He nodded. “How old are you?”

“Fifteen,” he said, releasing her hand. There was something very smug in his tone that told her he was proud of having survived to that age. “And you’re not more than eleven.”

Tamika folded her arms distastefully. “I’m twelve,” she remarked bitterly. 

“Close enough.” 

She rolled her eyes and the boy laughed. It was odd, she realized, that he had such a cheerful demeanor. She’d never met anyone as positive as he seemed to be. It was… oddly refreshing. And yet, something warned her that he was not all he seemed to be. He had survived on the streets for this long. And if the urchins she had met the night before were any indication, anyone who did not have thick skin and was not at least a little bit cold hearted could not make it this far. No, there was something deeper to this Ralvon. But it was obvious that she could learn something from him and she couldn’t let that chance go. She would have to use today wisely, observe him carefully. And maybe, if she could manage it, she could get him to mentor her for even longer. “So,” she said. “What can you show me?”

Ralvon spread his hands out before him. “What do you want to see? You ever been to the city before?”

Tamika shook her head, taking another bite of her apple. She had travelled a long way the previous night in order to get here. Though she doubted anyone would come looking for her, she wanted to be far away from her old home. This place had seemed large enough that it would be hard to find her. But if she was being honest, most of her decision to stay had been because of how tired she’d been. It must have been about three in the morning when she’d finally stopped here. 

“How long you been on your own anyway? You look pretty fresh to me.”

Tamika eyed him, unsure how much she should tell him. But then, what harm was there in answering his question? “I only left home last night,” she said.

Ralvon let out a low whistle. “Shiny new,” he said. “Good I found you instead of someone else. Though… by the look of that black eye I don’t think I am the first person to meet you, little Tamika.” 

Tamika pursed her lips, annoyed at being called ‘little.’ “It’ll heal.”

“That’s true. Little things do heal. And we try to avoid big things. That healing takes time we don’t have. That’s your first lesson. Understand?”

She took a bite and nodded. 

“If you can avoid hurting often, then you can survive. Simple in theory, not in execution.” He cocked his head. “You don’t talk much, little one.”

Tamika shrugged. “What is there to say?”

“There’s plenty to say,” Ralvon answered. “It’s okay you don’t talk though. Most of the time you don’t have to. Well, come on, I can show you around. You should finish the apple soon through. Food’s not easily gotten, for some. Hmm. Where should we go first?”

“Maybe you could show me where you got the apple in the first place.”

Ralvon laughed, starting to walk out of the alley and into the street. “I can’t go back there today.”

“Why not?” said Tami, following him. 

“Best not to be seen in an area where you stole something. Not for a little while. That’s one reason why the city is so great. Big enough that you have room to move around.” He cocked his head of black hair. “Say, where are you from, little Tamika?”

“Where are you from?”

“Does it matter?”

“You asked me; I think I should be able to ask you the same question.”

“Well, I’d rather not answer. Does that upset you?”

“Nope! What else do you want to show me?”

“I guess I could show you the fountain. And we should find you a place where you can live after the day’s done. How’s that sound, Tamika? Or… Tami. May I call you Tami?”

“Sure, that’s fine. What should I call you? Ralv maybe?”

He smiled down at her. Though his green eyes were piercing, the glow that they seemed to emit was warm. “Ralv works just fine,” he said. “C’mon, we should get moving.” With that, he stalked out of the alley, obviously expecting her to follow. 

Tamika stepped behind him, peeking around the corner. “So… the fountain?”

“Yes, yes, the fountain…”

 

As the dream moved towards less potent impressions, the crisp reality of it began to dissolve, images fading away like watercolor dripping off a canvas. The feeling was still there, gripping her in her sleep. A haunting familiarity she couldn’t shake. Disturbing, yet captivating. And then, slowly, images joined the feelings once more. 

 

“Hey,” said Ralvon. He pulled the coin they’d found from his pocket and flipped it in the air. “Whaddya say I go and buy something for us?”

Tamika opened her mouth in surprise. Had she heard him right? His heavy accent was hard to understand at times. “You’re going to use it already?”

He shrugged. “Sure, why not? Having money on you probably isn’t the best idea. I’d feel safer with it gone.”

“Okay, then, I guess you might as well.”

“There’s a little candy vendor around the corner. Anything you fancy?”

“Oh, uh…” Tami thought for a moment. “I’ve never really… You can pick it out, you probably know best.”

“Okay, sure. Just watch over my staff while I’m gone.” He gave her a grin and stood, nudging his staff toward her with his foot. “I’ll be right back.” 

Tamika nodded, finding herself smiling back at him as he walked off. When she’d left the orphanage, she never expected anything like this. Today had been great. Stars, when was the last time she’d been this energetic, this excited? Had she ever been this way? She grabbed Ralvon’s staff from off the ground, fingering it as she thought. She knew, of course, that today would end eventually. She’d have to find her own place to live and leave Ralvon, go off on her own. That scared her. More than she would have liked to admit. She’d never been alone before. There had always been other children in the orphanage. And though she was glad she’d run away… She looked down at the ground in front of her. It was only midday. Maybe Ralvon would change his mind about leaving her before the day was up. It was a frail, probably foolish hope, but it was there at least. 

The young girl regarded the staff in her hands while she waited. It appeared to be made out of some kind of dark colored wood and there were intricate little carved patterns around the ends of it. She ran her fingers over the carvings, mildly awed. Footsteps sounded near the alleyway. “Hey, Ralv,” she began. “Where did you get this-” But when she looked up, she found that it was not Ralvon. She frowned, clutching the she’d been entrusted with. Three boys stood nearby. They were definitely older than her, and though didn’t look to be as old as Ralvon, they held themselves with a confident posture that Tami had seen many times before on many different people. It was a posture that said they were better than her and they knew it. One of them - dark haired with a face full of freckles - whispered to the others and they grinned to each other.

“Say,” said one of them. Tanned and the tallest of the three, the boy who spoke stood in the middle and had dirty blonde hair that covered his eyes and a prominent nose. “That wouldn’t happen to be Ralvon’s staff, would it?”

Tamika narrowed her eyes, pushing her unkempt hair out of her face so they could see her glare better. The expression was a practiced one, specifically for conveying that whoever was bothering her had better go away soon or else. She was a small little girl, easy to pick on for those bigger than her; she’d had to learn a thing or two about defending herself any way she could. If she could manage it, she wanted nothing to do with these three. “How do you know Ralvon?” she snapped. 

The boy on the right chuckled. “Who doesn’t know him?”

“How’d he get his hands on a little urchin like you anyway?” asked the blonde boy. “I bet whatever he’s giving you, I can give you double that if you hand that thing over.”

The boys walked closer and Tamika held the staff closer to her, tightening her grip on it. “He’s not giving me anything and you can’t have his staff.”

Blonde boy smirked. It wasn’t a cheerful, bright smirk like Ralvon’s, but a yellow, sly smirk, one that made her stomach shift. “How old are you, kid? Eight?”

“I’m twelve,” Tami growled. 

“Oh, well then. You’re practically an adult now, aren’t you?” said the blonde. The boys continued to get closer. Tamika stood up to her full height, puffing her chest out with confidence and continuing to glare. She was still a good head shorter than the tallest boy but it was better than sitting. Now she could run if she needed to. “Look, I’m not going to mince words or nothin’. You’d be doin’ us a great service by handing that staff over and you should do it now, ‘cause I really don’t wanna have to hurt a kid.” He held out his hand for it, but Tamika did not oblige him. 

“Why do you want it?” she asked.

The boy on the left spoke up. “Ralvon took half our food last week. And last month, he cheated on us at cards, won our alley from us and he won’t give it back. He’s a liar and a snake we all want to get back at him.” The other two boys nodded, a vengeful look in their eyes. 

Tami raised any eyebrow. She supposed it made sense that Ralvon would do something like that. He’d talked a lot today about doing what you had to in order to stay alive. “You still can’t have the staff,” she said. The boys walked closer yet and she tried to back away, but her back hit the alley wall, sending a shiver down her spine.

“What’s he ever done for you, huh?” growled the dark haired boy on the right. He started walking forward in anger, but the boy in the middle held him back.

“Hold on, Lyle. We’ll give the girl one more chance. Give me the staff now.”

“No,” Tami said firmly. 

“Wrong choice.”

They were upon her in a second. Before Tami even knew what was happening, one of the boys had snatched the staff from her grasp and the other two were holding her, pinning her against the wall. She wrestled against their hold, but the fact was, she was just a scrawny little girl and they were two strong teenage boys. She felt utterly stupid. Mostly for not dashing away sooner, or dodging them somehow, but also for letting them take the staff so easily. It was probably stupid of her to defend Ralvon anyway—for all her hoping, she might never see him again after today—but it didn’t feel right to just give away what Ralv had trusted her with. 

“Wow,” said the blonde boy, twirling the staff between his fingers. “Not a bad little prop Ralvon’s got for himself here. But… I think we’ll be using this for firewood anyway.” He chuckled, then turned his gaze to Tami. “You know, kid, I have no idea why you’re loyal to that Terinissian scumbag, but I like you. You have spirit. I hope we see each other again. What’s your name anyway?”

Tamika narrowed her eyes. “My name,” she said, “is Tamika Meare.” With that, holding onto the arms of the two lackeys pinning her, she swung her leg up high and hard. Her foot smashed into the blonde boy’s face, sending him sprawling backward. A smirk split her face as she watched him get up, a line of blood trickling down out of his nostril. She may have been small, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t hit hard. The two boys holding her looked at each other in shock. 

“Ray?” one of them said. 

But the blonde boy—Ray—didn’t even seem to hear him. He wiped the blood off his face (or tried to—it was only smeared) and picked up Ralvon’s staff, stalking forward. “Oh, get out of my way,” he growled. The lackeys quickly did as they were asked, letting Ray get up very close to Tami. “Fine then,” he said. She could feel his breath on her face. “You want to play dirty? I’ll play right along with you.” Ray raised the staff and swung it as hard as he could, right into Tami’s shin. 

 

Ralvon walked down the street with a bounce  in his step. With the coin he and Tami had found, he’d been able to score some real treats—a good sized bar of chocolate and a handful of hard candy to suck on. Plus some extra little goodies he’d swiped while no one was looking. Tamika would love it. Stars, what a perfect day. It was getting to the point in the year when things were cooling down from the arid summer, the point in the year when the weather was practically perfect in every way. Blue sky, lovely calm breeze. Absolutely, positively-

A sudden tortured shriek snapped him out of his cheerful reverie. It seemed to be coming from- 

Oh, stars, no. That was little Tami, wasn’t it?

Ralvon cursed, picking up his pace. I leave her for two minutes and she’s already in trouble. I told her I wasn’t good at taking care of kids, I told her I wasn’t cut out for this, stars, stars, stars and stars cursed again. In his haste, he nearly skid past the alley he’d left her in. Tamika was on the ground, clutching her leg and howling in pain. Standing above her was none other than Ray, the leader of the gang he’d stolen from in the week previous. Ralvon narrowed his eyes. He liked to think of Ray as a slightly less capable version of himself. He was strong, he was tall, he was ruthless, and he wasn’t afraid to hit hard when it was needed. Only difference was, Ralvon was stronger and taller and he didn’t need a pack of followers to be the best on the block. You steal food from the little kids and I can ignore that, Ralvon thought. You can hide behind your words and let your followers take the hit and I can ignore that too. Bliv, you can steal my staff and I’d probably ignore that as well. But you hurt that little girl with my own weapon? Then you’ve got another thing coming. 

Ray held Ralvon’s staff in his hand and did not appear to be in a good mood, which likely had something to do with the blood dripping from his nose down his mouth. That was probably what had earned Tami whatever damage she’d sustained to the leg she was holding. Wow. Kid’s got more nerve than I took her for. He found himself smiling internally with pride, walking towards Ray and his two cronies. As his shadow overtook the two gang members and their leader, fear became plain as day on each of their faces. Ray, of course, did his best to hide the expression, as if trying to pretend that he had planned for this. 

“Well, well, well,” said Ray. He snapped, indicating for his two underlings to grab Tami as leverage. They did so only hesitantly, each one taking a loose grip on Tamika’s arms. “Ralvon Kanse. Can I assume you want your staff ba-”

“Oh, shut up, you know I don’t like talking. How’s ‘bout you just drop my staff and leave me alone, so you don’t have to go back to your camp with any worse than a broken nose.”

“I’ll do nothing of the sort.” Ray tossed the staff to one of his lackeys. “I think I’ll take the staff and the girl and just walk out of here. If you try to jump me, then Lyle and Zane will do the same thing to your little urchin as you do to me.”

Ralvon shrugged. “Fine, have it your way,” he said, raising his hands. But he didn’t need his hands to fight. He wanted blood and he wanted it now. And so, quite casually, he kicked Ray’s legs out from under him. Lyle and Zane looked at each other, unsure—as Ralvon had thought they would be—as to what to do next. Neither of them wanted to hurt the little girl moaning in pain. Because that was how any decent person should act. Ray was not such a person. 

Ralvon knelt and grabbed Ray by his shirt. “You can hide behind your entourage all you want; we all know you’re the biggest coward on the streets. Now get out. And be grateful Tamika is here to see this. If it weren’t for the kid, your brains would be on the street right now. Do you understand me?” Ray couldn’t hide his fear anymore. He didn’t respond, which might have had something to do with the fact that the fall had knocked the wind out of his chest. Ralvon couldn’t care less. He shook the younger boy, getting right up in his face. “I said do you understand me?” he yelled. 

Ray nodded. “Yes,” he gasped. 

Ralvon glared, keeping his eyes on Ray’s as he thrust his hand out. “Staff. Now.”

The freckled boy holding Ralvon’s staff fumbled with it for a moment before handing it over. 

With that, Ralvon got up, twirling his weapon in his hands with a practiced ease, then slamming the butt of it on the ground with a commanding click. “Out,” he ordered. Ray scrambled up off the ground and ran, the other two boys following fast behind. 

“Thank you,” came a small voice from the side. Tamika was slumped awkwardly against the wall, breathing gingerly, so quiet that she had been all but forgotten in the short scuffle. Sweat now beaded her forehead, her hands shaking as she tried to bear the pain of her fractured limb. She’d suffered injuries before, but nothing like this. 

Ralvon’s face softened as he turned to her, concern replacing scarlet anger. “Your leg,” he said. “Do you think it’s broken?”

Tami nodded absently. “Yes. I think so.”

“Okay. Okay. Here, I can carry you back to camp. I’ll try to help you.” Tami mumbled an off hand, “Okay,” and Ralvon scooped her up in his arms. 

The pair of them kept to the shadows, moving lightly. The walk didn’t take very long, but for Tamika, the pain seemed to draw it out. She closed her eyes and thought: What’s going to happen to me? Sure, now she had someone to protect her, but what about tomorrow, when Ralvon left her? What about the next time she was attacked? For, surely, it would happen again. That was the only thing she could be sure of. Ralvon’s words from the morning came back to her: Little things do heal. And we try to avoid big things. That healing takes time we don’t have. Time she didn’t have. Again: What’s going to happen to me? 

Soon enough, Ralvon laid Tamika gently against the alley wall. She grimaced, crying out in pain and clutching her leg instinctively. “No, no, no,” Ralvon said. “Don’t touch it. You might make it worse.”

“It hurts,” Tamika complained. 

When Ralv had first met her, she’d put on a brave face, small though she was. Her bravery did nothing to change the fact, however, that she was still a small twelve year old girl. “I know it does,” he said, his voice coming more gently than it had in a very long time. “That was a nasty thing Ray did to you. Just hold still, alright? Can you move it at all?”

“No…” she whispered. She whimpered, some tears making their way down her sun-kissed cheeks. 

If her eyes had been open, she would have seen Ralvon’s look of deep sympathy. He’d seen wounds like this before and much worse. He’d seen wounds that killed. The cries of this little girl he hardly knew struck him to the core, causing emotions, for the first time in almost a year, to well up inside of him. The knot inside of his stomach loosened slightly. It was an uncomfortable feeling, but, as it was feeling at all, Ralvon welcomed it. He took a deep breath. “Tamika,” he said. “You’re not going to be able to move for quite a while. I… I think you should stay with me.”

“What?” she sniffed, looking up at him with big, brown, innocent eyes. “But… I thought you said you couldn’t-

“I know what I said. But you wouldn’t be able to get food on your own, I can’t just leave you here. You can stay with me until you’re better, deal?”

Tami nodded absently. 

“Hey,” said Ralvon. He smiled at her. “Look me in the eyes, okay? Is it a deal or not?”

Tamika looked up again. She was a pathetic looking thing. Scrawny, with dirty skin, unevenly cut brown hair, and ragged clothing. And yet, her eyes showed a hardness, a determination. She seemed confused by Ralvon’s kind grin, but the corners of her mouth upturned timidly. “Deal,” she said. 

Art for this chapter!

IMG_0232.thumb.jpg.38e187c0569e73811e37d6bd8c612be5.jpg

Edited by Shard of Thought
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Okay, I think its really good, but I don’t understand some things. Well, mainly just one thing.

If Ralv is supposed to be a long time street urchin, why is he so willing to help so random girl? Was he’s introduction more him joking around? Also why would Tamika be so quick to trust him after she’d just experienced getting beat up by some street urchins.

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3 minutes ago, Ventyl said:

Okay, I think its really good, but I don’t understand some things. Well, mainly just one thing.

If Ralv is supposed to be a long time street urchin, why is he so willing to help so random girl? Was he’s introduction more him joking around? Also why would Tamika be so quick to trust him after she’d just experienced getting beat up by some street urchins.

Lovely question. ^_^

Ralvon has been on the street for one year. His "experience" comes from another place. :ph34r: The reason he's willing to help Tamika is because she is innocent and that's something he's lost for himself. He's seen a lot of people get hurt, a lot of good people, but none of them had innocence either. Tami does have it. And that pierces him. When he first meets her he notices she's brand new and could use some help, 'cause he's just nice like that. Notice he mentions that Ray often steals food from littler kids and he doesn't like that. Ralv doesn't like people preying upon the helpless. 

She doesn't really want to trust him, she knows she shouldn't (I could definitely do a better job of showing that in the chapter). In the beginning of the chapter she talks about being kinda thrown off by his cheerful demeanor. He's not what she expects. But he's nice and she likes that; she gravitates toward it because it's a commodity it feels good. I would definitely say that she's too trusting; Ralvon is - to pretty much anyone but her - quite terrifying. He's killed before and he's good at getting what he wants.

I hope that helps ya!

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Guest Somebody from Scadrial
On 9/22/2020 at 10:17 PM, Shard of Thought said:

Art for this chapter!

Will try to do some as well it was well interesting good I can't wait to see where this goes potential maybe kinda possibly spoilers?

Spoiler

I hate it when my romance sense starts tingling it spoils the story

Also seven and a half pages long Brandon scoffs at you

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Just now, Somebody from Roshar said:

Will try to do some as well it was well interesting good I can't wait to see where this goes potential maybe kinda possibly spoilers?only 

  Hide contents

I hate it when my romance sense starts tingling it spoils the story

 

:ph34r:

Spoiler

Oh trust me, Keyed romance is not only surface deep. You just wait. 

 

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Guest Somebody from Scadrial
11 minutes ago, Shard of Thought said:

I'm curious to see what you think will happen exactly. 

I don't really I just can kinda tell where

Spoiler

Romances

Might pop-up so it's not really this might happen or this but this is actually going to happen it's just I've read so many books with almost all of them having 

Spoiler

Romances

That I can kinda be like well those two might or maybe this one and that one generally I like a book more if I can't tell but very few people get past my 

Spoiler

Romance sense :)

Also when we finally reach the third page you should claim a spot so that you can have a chapter per page kind of thing maybe just group chapter one and prologue together?

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  • 3 months later...
On 9/22/2020 at 10:17 PM, Shard of Thought said:

A warm bed and beatings in exchange for cold nights and freedom

I love it so far. My only criticism would be to change this sentence. I feel like this wording implies that the first option is a bad thing in exchange for a good thing. A sacrifice of sorts, but in this context each option contains two things (one good and one bad) for another mixed option. I don't know if that makes sense, but this sentence just stuck out as not quite right.

Otherwise I thought it was really good, and I look forward to seeing how in heck the prologue ties in to this first chapter

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(yes, I know this is a double post, but it's an update, so it's legal)

You know... while I don't have any consecutive chapters to give you, I could certainly give y'all some other Keyed material from later in the series. You certainly deserve it for all the patience you've had with us. Xino and I were blown away with the positive reception Keyed has gotten. Thanks, everybody! So, here are two stories, both written by me. 

First story takes place when Tamika is 14 years old, so two years after the last chapter you guys. I do have to give a warning for implied sexual violence through dialogue. None of the actual assault is written because... I have no desire to write that. But it is pivotal to Tami's character.

Spoiler

Coins clattered in front of Tamika as she spun. She smiled to herself, twirling Ralvon’s staff lithely in her hands. Right now, the sound of those coins was her favorite sound in the world. To be a street urchin was one thing. To be a street urchin earning money was quite another. She leapt into the air, kicking her legs into a split, then landing steadily with one foot on the ground. Scattered applause sounded from the small group in front of her and a couple more coins were tossed as she bowed. Moments later, the crowd had dispersed. 

“They love you, Tamika,” Ralvon said, leaning on the wall behind her, arms folded with satisfaction. 

“They’d love you too. You’ve gotta dance next time, with me.”

Ralvon shook his head. “You’re far better than I am. You’re a dancer. I’m a fighter.” He leaned forward and playfully swung a fist at her head. She ducked, laughing. “You realize that sparring is just a less elegant form of dance, right?”

Ralv shrugged. 

“I’ll get you to dance with me one day.”

“Perhaps” Ralvon picked up his staff, fingering it. “You use this far better than I do, Tami. Maybe you should have it.” He held it out to her and she took it.

“Where’d you get this thing, Ralv? You’ve had it since we met.”

“It was a gift,” he said. “From an old friend in a past life. I don’t really need it anymore.”

Ralvon heard the tell-tale sound of feet running against the cobblestones. He smiled to himself, poking at the fire he’d started. Normally, street urchins weren’t allowed to have fires, but Ralvon was… convincing. It was awfully cold this autumn night and he wasn’t sure his own body heat would be enough to keep the chills away from little Tami. No doubt the fire’s enticing warmth was why she was running. Besides, it was late. She was probably tired and eager to sleep. Ralvon himself certainly was. It had been a long day and snuggling up with Tami and drifting off seemed more appealing by the second. The fire popped and crackled invitingly, sparks dancing in the air. It was a beautiful sight. Almost as beautiful as Tamika… He smiled at the unbidden thought, blushing.

As the sound neared, however, and he was able to hear better, his mood shifted. Tamika’s steps were uneven. Almost like she was limping. And… was she crying? His smile disappeared, concern filling to replace his jollity. He knew he shouldn’t let her stay out so late! Sighing with apprehensive worry, he stood up and walked toward the mouth of the alley. His trepidation increased when the sound got louder; he could no longer deny that Tamika was not only crying, but sobbing. Ralvon cursed, quickening his step. 

As he neared her, Ralvon was able to better see her. Tamika was half naked, her face and body bruised. Her eyes were red from crying and she was sniveling pitifully. “Ralvon,” she cried, running into his embrace. She gripped his shirt tightly, weeping.

“Tami? Tami, what happened to you?” He rubbed her back protectively, holding her tightly to his chest. 

“There was a man… He… he…” She choked on her words, looking up at him with her deep brown eyes. “Ralvon, I’m scared,” she said. She sniffed, holding him ever tighter, her body trembling. “I’m really scared.” 

“It’s okay,” he said. He tried, and failed to keep the panic out of his voice. “I’m here now. I’m not going to let you get hurt any more. But you’ve got to tell me, Tami, what did the man do to you?”

“He cornered me… ripped off my clothes... And…” She trailed off into sobs, unable to continue, the memory too horrible to utter aloud.

Ralvon’s face grew red with anger as he pictured in his mind what had happened to her. How could someone possibly do something so vile to such an innocent girl? Tamika had been hurt enough. Within his massive hoard of anger lay a deep vein of love for her. He poured that emotion into the way he held her, into his words. “Oh, Tamika,” he said. “Nothing shall harm you again.” Still clutching her, he gently sat down with her, caressing her with all the gentleness in the world. The two of them had been through a lot together in the years passed, but never had they been so close before. Ralv had always been protective of her, but as he held her in his arms, his resolve strengthened. He wouldn't let anything happen to Tamika. His Tamika. His precious Tamika.

Tami buried her face into his chest, crying quietly, letting Ralvon stoke her hair. “Shh,” he said. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Just listen to my voice. I’m here.” Ralvon felt her shiver and suddenly became aware of the temperature and of how much skin she had exposed to the open air. He pulled off his jacket, wrapped it around her, and rocked her back and forth slowly, desperate to calm her. “Tami,” he whispered. He pointed up at the sky. “Do you see those two stars? The ones right beside each other?”

Tamika shifted her gaze toward where he pointed. She sniffled, wiping her tear-filled eyes. “Yes,” she sniffed, “I see them.” 

“They’re always there, even when we can’t see them. And they’re always right next to each other. That’s like me and you, right? I’m always here for you. I’m never going to let you slip away. And we can shine for each other.” He held her tighter. “I’ll never let go. I’ll never let anyone hurt you. As long as we live.”

“Promise?” she whispered, laying her head against his shoulder.

Ralvon smiled. “Promise.” 

Minutes passed in a sleepy haze, the crackling fire becoming a comforting background noise. Within half an hour, Tamika had fallen asleep, still clinging to Ralvon in an almost desperate manner. Ralv sighed, yawning. He was so tired he was having trouble keeping his head up. Slowly, he stretched his leg out, catching their blanket with his toes and pulling it toward them. Tami was warm, but that warmth wasn’t quite enough for colder nights like this. He wrapped the blanket around the two of them, then, very gently, began shifting so they were laying down. Tamika whimpered slightly in her sleep, holding Ralvon tighter, but calmed down once Ralv pulled her closer, settling down onto the hard, yet supportive ground. Finally, he closed his eyes, the rhythm of Tami’s breath lulling him to the sweet surrender of sleep. 

Ralvon awoke to Tamika’s peaceful, even breathing. The sight of her made him smile. Everything from the way the morning sun glistened on her brown hair to her angelic, serene expression was a testament to her innocence. Why was this perfect girl out here on the streets? She didn’t deserve this life. Ralvon did…

Tamika stirred, sighing. Hopefully the previous night’s trauma would have softened by now. The memories of the whole thing were fuzzy, clouded by Ralv’s tiredness. All he knew for sure was that Tamika had gone through something unimaginably awful and it was up to him to heal the wounds that came because of that. He sat up and looked at her, brushing his thumb over her cheek. She was so small, so young. Yes, he wasn’t that much older than her, but to him, she would always be that little girl that he saved two years ago. 

Second story happens when Tamika is 16. It is, in my opinion, some of my best writing. 

Spoiler

“Tamika,” Ralvon said, “it’s getting late. We should stay here for the night.” 

Tamika looked out over the horizon through the trees at the setting sun. The hot wind ruffled her hair for a moment before she nodded. “Yes, you’re right. We’re not close enough to make it.” There was a pensive look in her eyes.

“Tami?” Ralvon put his hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright?”

She sighed. “I’m fine, Ralv. Just a little nervous, that’s all. They’re asking me to perform on stage… I’ve never done that before.” 

Ralvon smiled. “You’ll be fine, Tamika. You’re the most stunning dancer I’ve ever seen. They’re going to love you. Besides, the money we get from this will take us places we’ve never even dreamed of. I’m ready for that. So long as you are.”

“I suppose so...” She forced herself to smile. Though she knew he was right, it was still nerve-racking to be going through with all of this. Just be in the moment. Everything is going to turn out fine. “Ralv?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you. For staying with me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

“I made a promise to you, Tami. I’m not about to break it. Besides, I’m the one who should be thanking you. Who knows where I would be if I’d never met you?” 

“I’m glad we’ll never know.” Tamika hugged him. 

“Oh,” Ralvon exclaimed in surprise. “Well, this is new.” 

Tami laughed. “What, have you never been hugged before?”

“Oh, I have. Just not very often by you.” 

“Well, now you’ve been hugged by me one time extra.” She pulled away, smiling. “So we set up camp here?”

Ralvon shrugged and set down his pack. “I guess so. Looks nice enough. I’m just glad the weather is alright. Remember that one time-”

“When we got completely drenched after performing in Amondia? Yes, of course I remember, how could I forget?” Tamika laughed heartily, happy that the memory allowed her to take her mind off of what was to come. “We’d finally found a place to get dry and then that carriage rolled by and you got all wet again. Your expression was priceless!”

Ralv grinned. “So you’ve told me. We haven’t got caught in a storm like that in a while, have we?”

“I guess not. Rain is nice though, when you’re not getting all wet. The sound, the smell…” Tamika breathed in deeply. “Almost makes me wish it was storming.” 

“Ah, careful what you wish for. It will rain eventually. I’m just glad it’s cooler today than it has been previously.”

Tamika nodded. It had been quite hot the last few days. She would almost definitely have gotten sunburned if it weren’t for the trees in this area. Unfortunately, the trees brought their own dangers; bugs. She and Ralv’s thin clothing was perfect to combat the heat… but it did nothing to protect them from those nasty little creatures. 

Ralvon had knelt and was taking supplies out of his pack. Though Tami had offered to carry some of the things, Ralv had insisted upon carrying it all. All Tami held was the staff that he’d given her years ago. It was her dancing companion and, on the rare occasions she needed it to be, her weapon. Ralvon had taught her quite a bit about using it to fight. Sometimes she wondered how he’d learned so much about self-defense, but for all their time together, she actually knew quite little about his past. Hopefully someday he’d decide to tell her his secrets. For now, she was perfectly content to continue being his companion. 

“Anything I can do to help?” she asked. 

“Some firewood would be nice,” he replied. “Not too much though.”

Tami nodded. “Got it.” She wandered out of the clearing. 

The chirps of crickets filled the air with a warm, summer sound, fireflies shining their lights on the forest floor. A fire crackled, though it was less for warmth than for light. Summers here were swelteringly hot, though the winters weren’t that bad at all. The climate where he’d lived before had been much more temperamental. Ralvon sighed. It was different here, but it was better. Far better. It was nice to get out of the city. Nice to be able to travel. Nice to actually have the means of doing that. Ralvon smiled pleasantly, the fire casting shadows on his face as he watched Tamika. She yawned. Stars, she looked beautiful. He felt his heart flutter in his chest, his breath quickening a bit, and wrapped his arm around her. 

Tamika leaned into him, smiling as she looked up into his eyes. Even only by the fire’s dim light, he could see the depth in her irises, her thick, dark, mysterious lashes. “What a beautiful night,” she said. 

“Yes…” Ralvon said, holding the s longer than he intended to. He was distracted, his eyes lingering on her full, red lips. He forcibly moved his gaze back to her eyes. “It’s better without all the city noise.”

Tamika nodded her agreement. 

Ralvon couldn’t take it anymore. He leaned forward just slightly and met her lips with his own. A shiver ran down his spine. He could have stayed there, pulled her closer, pressed his body into hers, but… It lasted only a moment. He gently pulled his lips away from hers. The fear of rejection settled coldly in his stomach, held there by a single, all powerful barrier; her reaction. Ralvon immediately locked eyes with her, searching for the emotions that would make or break his soul. 

Within her eyes was not the surprised elation he had hoped for, but rather… fear. And deep sorrow. She exhaled lightly, perfect lips parted just slightly. “Ralvon,” she whispered, barely loud enough to be heard. Her words hung in the air for an eternity, his soul melting all the while. Tamika shook her head, looking up at him with a strange sense of what seemed to be longing. “I-” She began. 

Ralvon turned away. “No,” he muttered. “I knew I wasn’t good enough for you. Forgive me.”

Tamika scoffed quietly, taking his face into her hands and making him look at her again. “Oh, Ralv, it’s not like that. You’re my dearest friend. My only friend. But… I’m… I can’t…” She shut her eyes, lost in emotion for a second. “I just can’t. And… I’m not sure I ever will be able to. I’m the one who should be sorry. There’s nothing wrong with you at all.”

Ralvon put his hand on hers, fingers trembling. For some reason, the urge to touch her was even stronger now that he had been pushed away. He had gotten a taste of perfection and he desperately wanted more. “Just don’t trick yourself into thinking,” he replied, “that there’s anything wrong with you either.” 

Tamika smiled, though the expression, grim as it already was, looked a little bit foreboding by the light of the fire. “I’ll be alright, Ralvon.” The pair stared at each other for an extended moment before Tamika took the opportunity to lean against Ralvon’s chest, settling into him comfortably. 

Ralvon smiled. “Are you tired?” 

“No,” Tamika muttered. She yawned. 

“I could be wrong,” said Ralvon playfully, mostly to get his mind off of what had just happened, “but I think you’re lying to me, Tami.”

“I don’t lie, Ralv.” She closed her eyes and her breathing deepened. “But… I guess I am a bit tired. I just don’t want to go to sleep before you do. Are you tired?”

“A little. But we should both go to sleep. We’ve got quite the day tomorrow. You’ve got quite the day tomorrow.”

“Oh, the performance.” Tamika sighed. “You’d almost made me forget about that.”

“You’ll do wonderfully. I’ll be watching you the whole time. But whatever happens, you’ll feel better if you get some rest. Okay?”

“Okay…” She got up and laid down by the fire on her blanket. “Good night, Ralv,” she said. 

“Good night, Tami.” 

Ralvon laid on his back, looking up at the stars. Now that the fire was out, he could see them more clearly, shining as little pinpricks in the darkness. He hadn’t been able to see them near as well when he was younger. He was glad things were different now. It was just hard sometimes. Hard to remember what he had lost. Even if he had gained something wonderful in the process… Ralvon glanced over at Tamika. She was asleep now. He'd always had a harder drifting off, but he didn’t mind. He actually rather enjoyed having time for his own thoughts. Tonight though… He had tried not to think about his failure and Tamika’s rejection, but he couldn’t get it out of his head. Why did it matter so much? It wasn’t as if Tamika had abandoned him or anything. She just didn’t want to be romantically involved. That was fine. It was fine. He was fine. 

He sighed. It wasn’t fine and he knew it. He knew he would get over it eventually. He just wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to get over her. Tamika had changed everything. Because of her dancing, they now had a chance to live a real life. She was amazing. Every little part of her was amazing. Her strength, her beauty, her skill. Ralvon looked over at her again, letting himself smile. 

 

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  • 5 months later...

My stars, SO much has changed about this story recently...  For one thing there are now two books instead of three. The organization of the whole thing is drastically different. And for another, well... The amount of progress I've made recently is pretty staggering. Not progress in writing, but in organization. Almost every chapter is lined out and I've estimated that each book will be in the 600-800 page range. 

ETERNAL (very much a steampunk novel)
Part I: Dreams
Part II: Alone
Part III: Crew
Part IV: Memories

FALLEN (more dystopian genre)
Part I: Emperor
Part II: Truce
Part III: Weary
Part IV: Reborn

I've also made a discord server to discuss the books, it has links to some of the experimental writing (although I'll admit that writing isn't as good and a good chunk of it is outdated) and I'm kinda giving updates on my progress. I'm so glad so many of you are liking our stuff!! 

https://discord.gg/2mdueV5QqA

Edited by Zephrun's Imperium
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