Boomerang Guy Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 So this is where people can share there favorite jokes. (as long as they are appropriate of course) I'll start, What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Spoiler Roberto 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truthless of Shinovar Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 1 minute ago, McWafy said: So this is where people can share there favorite jokes. (as long as they are appropriate of course) I'll start, What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Reveal hidden contents Roberto That reminds me of this one... What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Spoiler Bob 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danex Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base? Spoiler A flat major. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? Spoiler A flat minor. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 Did you know you can tell the gender of ants by putting them in water? if it sinks, it’s a girl ant, if it floats, it’s buoyant. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boomerang Guy Posted August 10, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 What do you call a fake noodle? Spoiler an impasta 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danex Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 Ya know what, I’m feeling generous today, you can have this dead battery, free of charge. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 So get this. A girl and a boy go to a party, and the girl says “I want some punch” so the boy goes to get some. There was no punch line. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boomerang Guy Posted August 10, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 Sorry this not a joke but I just wanted to express how funny this has been. I have been laughing my head off over these jokes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 What do you call a no eyed deer? Spoiler No eye deer!!!!!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gears Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 I am imaginary. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danex Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 9 minutes ago, Hentient said: So get this. A girl and a boy go to a party, and the girl says “I want some punch” so the boy goes to get some. There was no punch line. Oh I love this joke, but I know a longer version. A boy was preparing for his prom date later that day. He went to pick up his tuxedo, but there was a huge line. He waited and waited and waited and waited and finally got his tux. Then he picked up his date, and they went to get some food. At the restaurant, there was a huge line. So they waited and waited and waited and waited and finally they got their food. After they ate, they went to the Prom. When they got to their school, there was a huge line. So, once again, they waited and waited and waited and waited, and they finally got inside. They danced for a while, and then the boy’s date said she was thirsty, so he went to get her some punch. Surprisingly, there was no punch line. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 I can keeeeep goinggggggggggg what rock group has four members that don’t sing? Spoiler Mount Rushmore 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gears Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 Why die? You only have one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truthless of Shinovar Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 17 minutes ago, Hentient said: What do you call a no eyed deer? Reveal hidden contents No eye deer!!!!!!! What do you call a blind deer with no legs? Spoiler Still no-eye deer! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revelryintheart Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? Two chemists walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get you?" The first chemist responds, "I'd like some H2O." The second chemists says, "I'd like some H2 — wait, we aren't at work, why'd you say it like that? I'd like some water too, please." The first chemist mutters to himself, "Storms! My assassination plot failed." At the start of the exam, the invigilator says, “You have exactly 2 hours. I will not accept any papers after this time has elapsed.” Two hours later, the invigilator calls out, “Time’s up, Ladies and Gentlemen.” One student is still scribbling away ten minutes later when the invigilator has all the collected papers in a large stack front of him. Slowly, the student finishes up and walks over to hand in his paper, but the invigilator refuses to accept it. The student puffs up his chest and says: “Do you have any idea who I am?” “No,” says the invigilator. “Great,” says the student as he slips his paper into the middle of the stack. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 If a cow can’t produce milk is she a milk dud or an udder failure? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 Once I met a man with a wooden leg named Smith. Spoiler What was the name of his other leg? You be Mozart, you be Beethoven, and I'll be Bach. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiedPiper Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 (edited) The Sunnydale High School class of '99 10-year reunion was killer for the introverts. Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't. A wanted poster for Schrodinger's cat reads "dead and alive." Little known failure: Schrodinger's dog. It freaked out and started barking. When life gives you lemons, squirt them into life's mouth and see how life likes it. Ending with a preposition is where it's at. NOBODY EXPECTS THE STEEL INQUISITION! Edited August 10, 2020 by PiedPeterPiper 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted August 11, 2020 Report Share Posted August 11, 2020 Other people are allowed to donate blood. When I got there, they just hammered me with questions, like "Whose blood is this?" and "Where'd you get a bucket of blood?" JK tho, yikes! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriarFritz Posted August 11, 2020 Report Share Posted August 11, 2020 Who makes all the jokes? Like, there are two main categories of joke. The ones which the teller just makes up, which can be good, but often fall flat, and usually have a pretty limited usability. Then there are the "standards" so to speak, which are all slightly cringy, slightly cheesy, and a little groan-inducing. Like "Why did the baby cross the road?" Spoiler It was stapled to the chicken! Are these created by some mysterious Joke Committee? Do they spawn through a portal to the World of Jokes? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted August 11, 2020 Report Share Posted August 11, 2020 (edited) NO IDEA but my dad has TONS. We've been thinking about moving to Switzerland. Thinking about the pros and cons, and all that. There are a lot of cons, but the flag is a big plus. I told my sister she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. Why did Shakespeare only write in pen? Spoiler Pencils confused him: 2B or not 2B? I invented a new word: Plagarism! Edited August 11, 2020 by Condensation 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted August 11, 2020 Report Share Posted August 11, 2020 Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? Spoiler So when they come back to port they can Spoiler Scandinavian 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted August 11, 2020 Report Share Posted August 11, 2020 That was SO bad and that's why I love it. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh. Me: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do? Teacher: Of course not! Me: Well, I didn't do my homework 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Doomstick Posted August 12, 2020 Report Share Posted August 12, 2020 I would tell a periodic table joke, but the good ones Argon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted August 14, 2020 Report Share Posted August 14, 2020 This has been dead for a day and I don’t approve. So I wrote this song about a tortilla. Well, if I’m being honest here, it’s more of a wrap. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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