Certified Gay Disasters

[Guest]

Agreed 

[Szeth's Facepalm]

On 5/24/2022 at 1:08 PM, Veez said:

Also I just noticed your signature is super gay and I love it.

 Join us? :3

Also i have some queer characters i wanna share but i'm gonna do it tomorrow cause it's midnight here lol

[Szeth's Facepalm]

*gonna double post cause i feel like under the circumstances it's ok*

Anyway i only have one character who has a decent enough drawing to share, her name is Iyaden:

Spoiler

(I was gonna color it in, but then i remembered that i don't know how to color stuff in lol. Her hair is bright red, just fyi.)

She's a super smart inventor and engineer who works for the main character's dad's company (my book's gonna take place in a world that is similar to earth in the 1900's, but more socially advanced and also there's a magic system haha) and she's also the main character's best friend. He's her only friend though, cause she avoids social interaction if she can help it. She's demi-romantic, ace, and a demi-girl :D (but the demi-girl part's not gonna manifest as much in the book, at least the way i'm writing it right now.)

She's my favorite OC, which is why she's the only one with a good drawing lol. If you wanna ask any questions about her it would help me with developing her backstory :3

[Zephrun’s Imperium]

W O A H that drawing is amazing! I'm super impressed! How's your progress on the book?

Edited May 28, 2022 by Zephrun's Imperium

[Szeth's Facepalm]

5 minutes ago, Zephrun's Imperium said:

W O A H that drawing is amazing! I'm super impressed! How's your progress on the book?

Awwww tysm, coming from an artist like you that means a lot  the books progress is... slow. I got the idea for it last summer, when i was talking with my cousin, and basically in one afternoon i came up with the basic premise, magic system, three main characters (of which Iyaden is one), and the plot of the first five chapters (really thanks to @ShardShaper , he's amazing to brainstorm with.) Anyway, after that i just kind of worked on it in random surges of productivity, and unfortunately one of those has come on while i am in europe on a three week trip and my only typing device is a samsung galaxy 9. So currently i have a few chapters planned out, some character development plans, a little bit of world building, and only about 1,500 actual words (some of which will be scrapped). But it's really fun to write :D

[Zephrun’s Imperium]

Hun, don't you feel bad about slow progress. I have a series called Keyed with about 80 canon pages and 120 more non-canon ones that's been stewing in my head going through re-write after re-write for three years. I was originally working on it with Xino, but I dropped him, 'cause I realized he wasn't going to help with the actual writing progress. If I ever do publish it though, I'll definitely give him a good honorable mention, because it wouldn't exist without him. 

Some advice; I highly suggest you write out an outline before you actually write the book. It took me a year (mostly of waiting for Xino), but I did finish the outline for Keyed last year and now it seems WAY more plausible to get published. I just gotta put the actual elbow grease in and write the other 1200 pages. The book I'm currently focusing on (Masquerade, which is 106,000 words currently) has a pretty good outline, and everything is color coded for what me and Fadran need to work on to finish it. We only have about 100 more pages to write together, which is amazing! I hope to get the first draft done by this September. 

Oh, and something rather topical; Masquerade is the book that features Fischer and Nicolae, that gay couple I mentioned back when I listed all my characters. They're adorable. Fischer is a soldier and Nico is the king's attendant.

[Szeth's Facepalm]

I wanna read that :3

That's so cool that you actually buckled down and did it though, every time i sit down and am like, "ok, time to write something. Write the plot. Write the plot." my brain just goes straight to daydreaming about a veggie whopper from burger king and i can't get anything done. But you've inspired me and i'm gonna start focusing more on bringing it into existence!

[Zephrun’s Imperium]

Well, I'm just proud of you for being bold enough to write at all. I wish you all the best in your writing endeavors.  And I can totally oblige you with the reading material. Here's some Fischico. Sorry, it's unedited; Masquerade was originally an RP, so this is little more than the posts mashed together. You can thank @The Ward's Guard for writing Fischer's parts. (Guard is my boyfriend, in case y'all didn't know. He is also demisexual)

Nicolae and Fischer's first interaction in the book.

Spoiler

    Fischer stretched now that he was out of sight of those palace guards but his head was hanging low despite the stretching. He liked looking professional and all, but that wasn't why he had come out here so late. He couldn't help himself from glancing over his shoulder, the eyes of expectation seemingly always on him. He sighed, unable to use this valuable off-duty time to rest or tend to him weapons like the others on the Praetorium Guard, that would mean he'd have to stay in the barracks with the true Praetorium Guard. He groaned as he thought of them, applauding him for such a wondrous achievement that he hadn't even earned. Well, not on his own, anyway.
He started to roll his shoulders, but paused as he saw a figure ahead of him. He straightened his back and adopted the professional stance that had been drilled into him from basic training. However, as he stepped closer, he squinted. He thought that he recognized the man he was approaching, but he was filled with uncertainty. The person wasn't wearing a Praetorium uniform, and Fischer didn't know anyone on the palace staff. Well, that wasn't entirely true, but it also wasn't entirely wrong, either. He cleared his throat, trying to use it to clear his own mind. 
When he was drawing close to the man, he nodded his head towards him, but hesitated mid step. He struggled to think of a way to get the man's attention before clearing his throat. "Sir, are you supposed to be out here?"
Nicolae turned around. “Uh, yessiree. Just takin’ a stroll. Did I wander somewhere I shouldna?”
"I-" Fischer shook his head slightly after a brief pause. "No." Fischer was at a loss for words, unable to think of the best way to voice his thoughts.
As Fischer stepped into the light, Nicolae paled. “My Stars. Fischer???”
Fischer paused, getting a good look at the other man's face. "It is you," he said in a hushed voice. "Nicolae?"
“Stars above, I hasn’t seen you since…” Memories. “You’s wearing the Praetorium emblem. That mean you’re workin’ for the general?”
Fischer looked down at his uniform, feeling a little flustered. "It- It's a long story." He then looked back up at Nico, "you're still working at the king's palace?"
“Well, ‘course. What else would I do? King pays me good, he does.” He bit his lip, shifting nervously. “I thought we’d never see each other again, Fischer.”
"Nor did I," Fischer said with a shrug. Those long hours of considering what he would say if he came across Nicolae again seemed to flee his mind, now that he needed them. "So..."
Nicolae just stared at him for a moment. It was very odd to see him. The last time they’d been together, things had…. Well, Nicolae wasn’t sure how to feel about Fischer anymore. A few years ago, he would have been more elated to see him but now… “When did you get to the palace?”
"Only a week ago," Fischer answered quickly, glad to have something to talk about. "When the king was nearly killed by an assassin. The general was furious with the palace guard and their inability to do their job, so he's been moving more of his own guard into palace duty."
“Ah. Yeah, I was there when it ‘appened.” Nicolae bit his lip, unsure if he should mention their previous meeting. “Was scary it was.” He chuckled. “But look at you. You’s all buff now.”
Fischer chuckled. "What? That happens when you're in the military, ya know."
“Yeah, I guess so.” He blushed. “You…. You look nice.”
"Uh," Fischer cleared his throat, "thanks. You look nice... too."
Nicolae scratched his head. “H-how long has it been?”
"Years, I know, but not how many." Fischer rubbed his arm, "but it has been a hot second, I was thinking that I'd never see you again."
"Yeah..." Nicolae felt himself smile. "What... what duties does you have?"
"Oh, I'm just patrolling and guarding areas around the castle." He chuckled, "I thought I was past all of the 'new-guy' treatment, but this is different."
"Well, it's crazy to see you like this, friend. And my Stars, you talk fancy too." Nicolae laughed nervously. 
"Yeah well, I'm guessin' tha' I've been around 'em noble folk too long," Fischer said with a cheeky smile. "I don't know how you've stuck with speaking the way you always have, you've been around noble guys your whole life."
Nicolae shrugged, glad to hear his old companion speak more familiarly. "True enough, but I grew up speakin' this a-way an' I doesn't intend to be stoppin'. It's me. An'... by the Stars, it's you. I really never thought I'd see you again. When you left..." Well. They both knew what had happened when Fischer had left.
Fischer felt his face almost blush over the memory, he spoke quickly to change the subject. "By the Stars, you've gotten insanely tall. I can see you being brought into the militia just for that."
"Oh, I could never! I ain't no fighter like you. I'd be bowled right over, I would. May be tall, but I ain't got no muscle on me, not one bit. 'sides, Iv'an wants me with 'im. I'm still his manservant. An'... I enjoy it. Good, honest work. Stars, I think I'd lose it iffin' I took a life. Coulda live with myself." He paused. "B-but I-I has great respect for you. Keepin' us safe, you are, nuttin' wrong with that. You knows I doesn't have the stomach for it. Otherwise..." He paused and looked into Fischer's eyes. "You know I'd a-gone with ya."
Fischer nodded, "I know. That's wha' is special about you, Nico. An' I wouldn't have it changed for the world." He stopped suddenly, and cursed softly before chuckling. "Now you've got me talking like that."
Nicolae felt his face warm up with a deep blush. "Thank you." After so long being verbally put down, hearing a compliment like that was touching. Nicolae felt himself start tearing up, but quickly blinked, keeping the tears away. "Really, thank you. Needed to be hearin' that today. Mm. Does I get a hug?"
"Uh..." Fischer shifted from one foot to the other, "when have I ever said no to a hug from you?"
Nicolae hugged the other man, picked him up and spun him around, setting him back down gently. It felt good. He didn’t have many people to hug. 
Fischer grinned as he embraced Nico, having forgotten what hugging this man had felt like. Stars above, it had been too long since he'd been embraced like that at all. "It's good to see you again, Nico."
    “yeah, no kiddin’. Glad it’s good to be seen.” Don’t get that reaction much no more. “But I guessin’ you got to be gettin’ back real soon. We should do sumffin’ together ‘ventually.”
"Yeah, even if it's just talking." Fischer sighed, "ya have a time when you're normally off?"
    “I am free at night,“ Nicolae said hastily. This would be a good excuse to skip some maid’s pining. Hopefully. “We could see each other some evening. Maybe get a bite to eat.”
    "Sure; I'm relieved o' duty pretty early in the night." Fischer stepped away, glancing at the direction of the barracks. "You'll have to choose where to ge' food, 'cause I have no clue about here no more."
“Oh, tha’s just fine. I know this place like the back o’ my hand.” He winked. 
"So nothin's changed, then?"
"Well..." Nicolae bit his lip, expression souring. For a moment his mouth worked as he wondered what to say. "You... you remember the... experience I had when I was eleven?"
Fischer stopped, considering the question for a long moment before his expression slowly started to turn grim. "What uh... What about it?"
There was a long pause while Nicolae tried to think of how to word his feelings. Fischer wouldn't judge him for his cowardice, would he? 
A glance at his Praetorium emblem extinguished that hope. 
Nicolae sighed. "I've just been thinking about it a lot..."
"It's been so long, but I don't blame you..." Fischer sighed, looking away. "Look, I've spen- What I mean is tha' I..." He wrung his hands, looking away from Nicolae with a small sense of shame eating away at the back of his mind.
"About wha' happened when you left?" Nicolae tried timidly.
    Fischer blushed, "oh, that. I didn't wan' it to be final, but..."
    He smiled. "Don'cha worry 'bout it." After a quick glance around to make sure no one heard him, he whispered, "Best kiss I've ever had, certainly."
Fischer returned the smile, but didn't stop blushing. "It can't have been tha' good, but thanks. I'll certainly never forge' it."
"You still feel the same way?" he asked.
"I- I'd like to..." But it's been so long. "I'd at least like to talk with you, it's nice to talk with someone like you."
Nicolae nodded, relieved. "Right o!" He popped off his hat. "Well... I should probably get a move on, yeah? An' you's prob'ly got stuff to be doin' too."
"Yeah, yeah," he responded, "I've go' to be headin' back. So I'll see you later?"
"Yuuup." Nicolae smiled awkwardly, rather eager to be leaving. "You can meet me at our place maybe… Wednesday night, yeah?"
"Can do," he replied, nodding. 

 Fischer and Nico's subsequent date:

Spoiler

Nicolae didn’t typically dress himself up, but tonight was a special occasion. It was not often, after all, that one got to see their childhood crush/would-be-boyfriend. Despite not feeling the same way about Fischer as he had five years ago, there was left over in Nico’s heart just enough pressure to drive him to brush his hair and put on something other than his uniform or some sweaty peasant’s attire. Luckily enough for him, he managed to find a suit in the closet with minimal wrinkles that actually fit well enough. He looked over himself in the mirror—surprised at how nice he looked—then ran down to his and Fischer’s meeting spot. 
Nicolae showed up a little bit later. "Uh... 'ello, Fischer." He waved. "Shall we go out on the town?" 
Fischer chuckled nervously, "uh, yeah. How're ya doin', Nico?"
"I's okay, I guessin'. Nothin' real new with me. But it's real good to be seein' ya." Nicolae hopped down the stairs a few at a time.
Fischer followed close behind, taking one step at a time in a more rigid manner than he would have liked. "I can't 'ell ya how good it is ta see, it's been so long."
    "Yeah... Um... Where does ya wanna go eat?"
"I don' care, where you wanna eat'll be fine wif me."
    "We can go to ol' Sparrow's. Remember goin' there as kids?" He smiled at the memory; Fischer had taken him to that pub the first time Nicolae got out of the palace grounds. 
    Fischer smiled too, "how could I forge'? Let's ge' movin', ven."
    Nicolae breathed in the evening air. It felt very much like old times. Unfortunately, the butterflies of old were still fluttering about in his stomach and he couldn't shake them for the life of him. "So," he said. They were almost to the pub. "'ow's the general treat ya? I was at a ball last week an' the man had quite a fit. Dragged 'is wife out of the ballroom screechin' somethin' awful."
    "Oh, he treats me fine, I guess." He nodded, "been 'earin' all sor's of fings about his wife. Although I did sugges' tha' he give her flowers." He shook his head slightly, shocked over how quickly he fell back into the accent.
    "Well, she'll be needin' lots of flowers with the way 'e was treatin' 'er. She bit 'is arm and 'e slapped her, 'e did. Was hard to watch, even knowin' what a 'orrible woman the Raven is."
    "Yeah," Fischer rubbed his arm, "I's even heard tha' whole marriage fing wassin' the king's idea."
"Really?" Nicolae held the door for Fischer as they walked in. "Why'd the king do such thin'?"
"Stab me if I knew," Fischer said with a shrug, "me an' the guys couldn' fink up an answer for wha' the general did ta deserve tha'."
Nicolae shivered and the two of them sat down. "Imagine bein' married to that devil woman. Still don't excuse what he did to 'er at the ball, but..." He shook his head.
“Wha' exactly 'appened? I was ou' on duty."
"Well, it was odd, see. The two of them actually kissed on the steps comin' in. But after a dance and some chattin', all of a sudden, the general just blew up. They started yellin' at each other and before ya knew it, 'e was draggin' her out. She screamed somethin' awful and 'e slapped her. She started sayin' that 'e killed 'er, 'e killed 'er,' an then they was out of the ballroom."
"Ah," Fischer nodded, "oi've heard of his temper being fierce, bu' he's normally good a' keepin' it 'round us."
"'at's a good thin', believe me... I... I know the Raven's a terrible woman 'an all, but even she don't deserve what 'e did tha' night. It was 'ard for me to watch."
"Must'a been," Fischer sat down, trying and failing to look like he was lounging. "Glad I missed tha', ven."
Nicolae nodded and flagged down a server. "I'll take whatever soup you's got back there."
"Same for me," Fischer added on. He turned back to Nico, "I heard tha' there's been a lotta trouble wif the castle staff. Any of tha' come up?"
He shrugged. "I doesn't really pay attention to that stuff. The politics of it all makes me head hurt."
"Yeah, it's been soundin' like a mess ta me." He shifted in his chair, "jus' a bunch of stuff abou' bribery an' wha'no'. Although the palace guard's really gotten us screwed up."
Bribery. That must have been Avilaine. Nicolae knew he had to change the subject. "Stars, it's just been so long. Tell me everythin' that's happened to ya since you left."
"Well, after the king 'imself sen' me ta the army, I got launched righ' out of basic trainin' inta the field. Vem commanders really wan'ed me ta ge' experience or somefing."
Nicolae felt sick to his stomach. He nodded. "I'm... sorry."
Fischer stopped, looking as if he was about to go into a story. "'bout wha'?"
"About... You. Being drafted." He fidgeted uncomfortably.
    "Oh, don' worry 'bout i' none. There's nothing ya coulda done 'bout it, bu' I know ya would 'ave done something if ya could 'ave."
    Nicolae nodded, but still felt sick. "Yeah. Yeah, I guessin'..."
    "Are ya feelin' alrigh', pal?"
    "I'm fine." He sighed and was delighted when their food came; he needed the distraction.
Fischer began to eat the soup with previously unknown gusto. Nico, however, barely touched his food.
"Ya don' look alrigh' ta me," Fischer said as he looked up between bites. "I remember ya bein' be'er a' ea'ing than this."
"There's... unfinished business between us," Nicolae said, dropping his accent. It didn't seem right to use the boyish drawl.
Fischer coughed, a bit of the soup caught in his throat. "Uh, yeah?"
"Look, there's something I..." Nicolae started tearing up and cursed himself. "Stars curse it, I..."
"Stars above, what's wrong?" He asked as he moved to stand up.
"I... Fischer, I..." Nicolae squeezed his eyes shut. "I sent you to be drafted. It was me. I..." He opened his eyes. "I loved you too much."
"Wait," Fischer froze, "what?"
"I... I asked Ivian to send you away. I knew if you stayed, I wouldn't be able to resist, we'd be executed. I'm a coward, Fischer, it's what I do."
"But I-" Fischer's hands began to tremble, "you said that... It was you?"
Nicolae couldn't meet Fischer's eyes. He only nodded in shame, hating himself.
"I thought-," He slammed his hands on the table, "do you know what I went through!"
    "I try not to think about it..." Nicolae said. He was sort of huddled against the wall now, as if worried he was going to be hit.
"I've faced death, and for years I wanted nothing but to curse the King for sending me there!" Fischer had flung up his hands, turning away from Nicolae as his rage caused his heart to pound in his head.
"Yes, I know..." Nicolae bit his lip. "An' I did it all to save my own Stars-cursed, pathetic life."
"What about me?! I promised you that I would rather die than let anything happen to the two of us!" His breathing became shallow, "was I the only one who felt that way?"
Nicolae felt bile rise in his throat. "Let's me and you take this outside, please," he whispered, setting some money on the table. It was far too much for just the two bowls of soup, but he didn't care. 
"No!" Fischer shouted, "I need- I can't do that." He turned to leave, stomping away from Nico.
Nicolae got up to follow him. “Fischer! I’s… I’m… Gah! I hate myself for what I did, I lay awake a’ night thinkin’ ‘bout it.”
Fischer stopped, trembling as a tear attempted to escape his eye. He tried to blink it away, "just- just stop. I can't..." He wiped his face and tried to continue out the door.
Nicolae was about to respond, but as he opened his mouthy to respond, he quickly realized he needed to get to a trash can. Thankfully enough there was one nearby and he was able to throw up into it. Stars, he felt awful. 
Fischer threw open the door to the eating house, gritting his teeth as he tried to fight the Star's cursed tears. Everything was meant to be be alright now, why the blazes did it all have to go wrong?! He wanted to run and hide, but he only knew one place he could go to find protection, even if he would likely receive scorn for the tears that dripped off of his chin. But there was nowhere else to go.
Nicolae didn’t throw up for long and once he was done, he wiped his mouth and looked around for Fischer. But of course, his companion was nowhere to be seen. “Fischer? Fischer?!”
Nicolae walked back into the restaurant for a drink of water.  
Fischer thought he might have heard Nicolae calling after him, but that only caused him to run. He trembled at the thought of what he say to him in anger, feeling bad enough as it was.
Nicolae had never been good at hiding his tears, but at the moment, he found he couldn't cry. He had already cried, years and years ago, when the pain was still fresh. Now, he could do nothing but sit here and hurt. He ended up ordering some beer instead of water. That would drown the pain. Hopefully.

Shortly after the date, Nicolae is stabbed by a woman named Avilaine for... reasons that aren't important.

Spoiler

Nicolae hadn't tried to crawl away to get help. Or... Maybe he had. Everything was fuzzy and unclear through the pain. All he knew for certain was that he lay there on the floor of his bedroom, bleeding out. He deserved to die, of course, and it was probably his time now anyway now that Wendy had come into his life. She made him so happy and Stars knew he didn't deserve that. 
At the stench of blood, Fischer's mind cleared of any semblance that resembled emotion as he dropped into a combat stance, immediately scanning the room before seeing the blood that surrounded Nico. He rushed to the man's side, the thought of scanning the room fleeing his mind as a sense of panic took hold of him. He hesitated when he reached Nico's side, but he forced himself to take a deep breath of air to bring back the focus of battle. He gently touched the other man's shoulders, "Nico, can you hear me? Are you awake?"
Nicolae blinked, shivering. "Fis-Fischer?" No, go away. "L-Leave me."
"Not happenin' buddy," Fischer told him as he tried to find the wound on the man. A sense of relief came over him when Nicolae could speak, but he had to clear his mind to return to the single minded focus of the battlefield. "Where are ya bleedin' out at?"
"Stomach." Nicolae coughed weakly, though even that small movement shook him.
Fischer tried to hide how he winced at the wound. "You're gonna be fine, pal." The amount of blood he had already lost was worrying to say the least, but he was still conscious, which was a good sign. "Listen here, I need you to keep talking, ok?" With the pang of regret over leaving his equipment that held the bandages back at the barracks fresh in his mind, Fischer rushed to the bed and ripped off a blanket.
“I doesn’t want to talk, I want to die, don’t ‘cha see that?” He shuddered. “I said leave. Go. Git outta here.”
"Why?" Fischer asked to keep Nicolae talked while he returned with the blankets. The sight of blood hardly phased him as he kept his mind in the battle space, moving to wrap the blanket around Nicolae to slow the bleeding.
"What, ya want the list?" Nicolae teared up, scoffing. "I's a coward, a pushover. I sent the man I loved to die all b'cause I wasn't willin' to do the same. I let 'em whores do what they will with me 'cause I'm too scared to do nothin'. I'm hardly a man."
Fischer paused, thoughts clouding his focus no matter how hard he tried to return to the focus. He cleared his throat. "What uh- What do you think makes a man?"
"Brav'ry. Loyalty. I doesn't have that. I's horrible, I am an' you know just why."
Fischer tried to continue putting on the blankets, but all he could manage to do was apply pressure to the wound to stop the bleeding while his mind whipped between thoughts faster than he could track. "Do ya think that uh, that maybe being a man ain't what matters?"
"Sure the Mal matters to the king, it does. An' I-I... I can' live with me-self no more, Fischer. Avi gave me a way out an' I'm takin' it, I am."
"No, you're not," Fischer told him as he worked harder on the blanket. "Being a man matters nothing a' the end of the day, all it'll end up doing is getting ya dead. It's more abou' those ya do good to." He paused for a moment, having to force the words out as a whisper. "Like saving a life, even if they think they don't wan' it."
"Yeah, you's better 'an me Fischer, always 'ave been. Doesn't have to rub that in."
"I was talkin' 'bout you," he said as he yanked the blanket tight around Nico's waist. "I thought it would be better if I died by your side ven continue withou' you. Obviously I was," Fischer cleared his throat again. "I was wrong."
"Iffin' 'at's true, why was you so furious with me at the bar?"
"I didn' wanna believe it." Fischer checked over the bandages once more before nodding. "Can ya stand?"
"I'll stand in Mal..." Nicolae muttered. He closed his eyes.
Fischer grabbed Nicolae under the arms, and heaved him up. "C'mon, ya don' wanna be a fool like me."
Nicolae allowed himself to be dragged, mostly because he was so tired. "I'll just find another way to die when ya leave," he said. 
"See, now you're star'in' ta sound like me when we were younger." Fischer dragged Nicolae out of the room, heading towards the closest medical center he knew of. "I don' care wha' ya think, you're worth saving."
“I ain’t worth rust.”
"Righ', you're worth more than tha'." Fischer nodded to himself, "you're the bes' thing that happened ta many people, I suspect."
"Just tuh make up for 'ow 'orrible I am."
'Oh come on," Fischer said as he adjusted his grip on Nico. "Ya said tha' you're a coward, bu' you chose ta face forcing me ta leave than watching us die. Tha's a different kinda bravery. Ya did wha' was best for the both of us even when I was thinkin' tha' wasn't the case."
Nicolae stayed silent, his vision and hearing dimming. 
Fischer glanced quickly at his old friend, "stay wif me. C'mon, tell me somefin' 'bout the years we were apar'.”
"Fischer.. Do you still love me?"
'Do I-" He paused midstep, "uh, I thin- It's differen' now, bu' I think I still do."
“I… I love… you… still…” Nicolae blacked out.
"Nico?" He shook his friend, "Nico!" Fischer began to practically run, shouting for someone, anyone to help him.

After having dinner with the general and his wife, Nicolae and Fischer ride in a carriage back to the palace together:

Spoiler

As dinner was cleaned away, and Riva and her husband were rushed off to deal with one duty or another after a long farewell, Fischer guided his childhood friend out of the castle, and towards the carriage. Unable to bear the silence anymore, Fischer cleared his throat. "It's, uh, a long ride back to the palace."
"Yeah. It is." Nicolae kept his eyes forward, feeling more grim and less angry than before. He breathed deeply, staring at nothing.
"Do you . . . Want someone to go with you?"
Nicolae raised an eyebrow, sparing a glance at the short blonde beside him. "You offerin'?"
There was a pause. "Yeah," he said with a nod. "Yeah I am."
Nicolae tried to meet Fischer's elusive eyes. "Why?"
"Jus' thought ya wouldn't want tuh be alone that whole time."
"Don'tcha have a mistress to attend?" It was a genuine question, not as accusation
"She can manage for the night. Well, she'll be managing the boss."
Nicolae finally cracked a smile. "Oh? Managing?"
"Yeah." Fischer smiled back. "Would be a lo' nicer if I wasn' positioned righ' outside their door."
"I would be more disgusted if I hadn' jus' gotten tuh know the Lady Raven. She seems nice enough.”
He nodded. "She fancies herself my mum. While she ain' go' tough competition, she's ve bes' I've 'ad."
Nico's smile widened, but as he recalled the day’s events, the smile dissipated. Who was he to be happy while Wendy still hurt from what he’d said and done? An idiot named Nicolae Kimby, that’s who. He hung his head, the chill night air turned frigid by a sudden late autumn wind. 
Fischer must have noticed the change, for his brow furrowed with the hope that he hadn’t said something wrong. “Ah, sorry…”
"I's... i's alrigh'. I'm jus'..."
"I- Ya can ride withou' me. If you wanna. I ain' stoppin' ya."
"No.” Nicolae had made up his mind. He lifted his head, staring forward to where the coachman was coming around with their carriage. “I... would be honored There's some thin's between the two of us 'at needs resolvin'."
"Oh…" Fischer nodded, but looked worried. "I supposin' there is."
The two of them climbed in the carriage, and Nicolae had to hunch so his head didn't hit the top of it. Fischer followed close behind, and sat across from the other man. For a long moment, the two of them just stared at each other in silence, neither knowing quite where to start. The years between them were long now, and gone were the days when each could simply be a youth. Fischer was no longer the headstrong, mischievous boy he had been, and neither was Nicolae the timid and innocent child. Memories of hot summer days making daisy chains seemed so far away here in the dark carriage.
Nicolae stared at Fischer for a long moment with his mouth open, then swore. "We loved each other. What changed?"
Fischer paused. "Yo- I grew, I guess." 
"Yeah, so did I," he said, leaving his accent behind.
"I guess I can fank you for tha'." The soldier paused, realizing how accusing that sounded. "Wha' I mean is . . ."
"I think I get it." He looked out the window, running a hand through his hair. He was about to speak when Fischer interrupted him.
“Ya stood up to me,” Fischer said. “Back ven when I was talkin' with ‘at woman. Uh, Wendy."
I was hoping we'd be able to wait a while before addressing that. "I'm sick of being pushed around all the scorching time," he said, eyes still on the passing landscape. "I just... I'm scared, Fischer. Avilaine is gone now. I stood up to her, too. I know I want to be my own man, but I don't know how. I'm scared to open up. Even with you, I was always on your tail, not beside you."
"You thought that I . . ." Fischer looked towards his feet, a hollow look entering his eyes. "I was another Avilaine."
Nicolae rolled his eyes. “Fischer, don’t say that.”
“I only wan'ed ta help."
"I know you did. You're not at fault; it's my own timid ass."
Fischer shook his head. "It's not your fault. I should've known."
Nicolae didn't reply, a sour expression on his face
"Wha'?"
“I…” I screwed up with Wendy. I don’t want to screw up with you, he thought. Yet, no matter how hard he tried, he could not voice it. “I will miss you,” he said instead. “I always missed you.”
"Ah..." Fischer sighed, his breath shaking. "I missed you, too. But this is better. If we’re not together, then there’s no chance of-"
Nicolae got up and moved seats, sitting beside Fischer. 
“Nico… What are you doing?” 
“I can’t sit by my friend?”
"You're not worried 'bout me being like- like Avilaine?"
Nicolae rolled his eyes again, regretting what he’d said earlier. “Just because you once had a similar effect as her, doesn’t mean you’re anything like her. I shouldn’t have made the comparison, so forget about it.”
"I . . . Don't understand. How can I do the same thing, but not be like her?"
“Well. I want to kiss you significantly more than I want to kiss Avilaine.”
"Kiss?" Fischer whipped around to meet Nico's eyes.
“Yeah.” He blushed.
"You- Really do find me attractive, still."
“Yeah. Always have. Stars, when I saw you with that guard uniform on… You’re even more handsome than you used to be.”
"You're taller, and that makes ya even more ha-" Fischer blinked, forcing himself to turn away. "No. I can't follow that thought."
“Why not?” Nicolae clenched his fists. “I’m sick of hiding, Fischer. Sick of pretending. I don’t love Wendy, I certainly don’t give a damn about Avilaine, and I’m not in love with any other waitress neither. I love you, Stars curse it, and I’m not going to deny that anymore. Do you love me?”
Fischer was stunned. His mouth worked wordlessly for a long moment. “Nico…”
“Do you love me, Fischer?”
“I…” The soldier swallowed. “Yes.”
With that, Nicolae leaned forward and met Fischer’s lips. 

 

Edited May 29, 2022 by Zephrun's Imperium

[Elf]

im bringing this back for pride 

happy pride, all of you!!!!

[Szeth's Facepalm]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!

[DramaQueen]

8 hours ago, Elf said:

im bringing this back for pride 

happy pride, all of you!!!!

I mean...it's not really "bringing it back" if it never died. The last post was less than a week ago.

But HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!

[Szeth's Facepalm]

4 hours ago, DramaQueen said:

I mean...it's not really "bringing it back" if it never died. The last post was less than a week ago.

But HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!

It did die lol, it was inactive for close to a year and i brought it back 

I was gonna start an LQBTQ hangout, and i was scrolling through all the topics in here and saw it. I'm super glad i did, cause it's such a nice welcoming little corner of the internet <3

[DramaQueen]

I meant never died recently, so Elf wasn't really bringing it back for pride.

[Zephrun’s Imperium]

[Veez]

Happy Pride Month everyone! 

Socially exhausted right now but I'm lurking.

[Zephrun’s Imperium]

Here’s Sierra. I’ve had trouble drawing more. 

[Szeth's Facepalm]

the agender urge to, whenever your friends are talking about their gender identities, be like "imagine having gender lmao"

even though idk, I'm not super sure about my gender anymore. i think I'm gonna start using genderqueer as a label instead of agender, since it's more of an umbrella term.

lol

(P.S. star I love your drawings so much :D)

Edited June 13, 2022 by Szeth's Facepalm

[Guest]

So I've been gay for last 2 years but about a week or two after I broke up with my boyfriend there was this girl who I instantly fell in love with instantly meaning I've known her for a little over a year please help me I am in a total emotional wreck and I have no idea what frick is happening. HELP

Edited July 1, 2022 by Spook's biggest fan

[Zephrun’s Imperium]

Dude, my sexuality is so weird.

I think I'm sexually attracted to woman and romantically attracted to men.

Like, women's bodies are *chef's kiss* but guys have such cute personalities. Girls can be so catty.

[DramaQueen]

Honestly kinda same

But aesthetic attraction more than sexual with the girls thing

[Medium]

1 hour ago, Zephrun's Imperium said:

I think I'm sexually attracted to woman and romantically attracted to men.

 

hey thats me! We call it biromanticism :D. I'm biromantic, so this sentence completely describes me lol.

edit: i mean i think thats what it is. thats how it is for me. although lately I've been wondering if i'm pan...? bruh idk :/

Edited July 29, 2022 by CalanoCorvus

[AonEne]

Reviving this thread to say I got a haircut and it makes my gender happy

[Szeth's Facepalm]

I just arrived to my first choir practice and they have a pride flag table cloth at sign in and pronoun pins and it's so nice <3 <3

Can't wear a they/them pin though cause they take a ton of pics and it might get back to my parents ;-;

Edited September 22, 2022 by Szeth's Facepalm
Thanks queen!! I usually hate misspelling that too, idk how it slipped past me ;-;

[DramaQueen]

That's awesome, though!!!

Also, I'm sorry but I have to correct you, it's spelled choir, not chior. My choir director in high school was so bothered by that and it became a bit of a joke, so thanks for the laugh. 

[Medium]

oh gods i never told y'all.

i figured myself out again lmao. im pansexual now.

frying pans

jk jk