Jump to content

Critiques and pointers, please!


ginger_reckoning

Recommended Posts

Hello! Here's the second chapter of my current WIP. Considered a science fiction, kind of. Takes place in this frontier area on another world. Pointers and critiques are very appreciated! Rip it apart, please. 

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

Edited by ginger_reckoning
h
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You have a good voice and are much better at dialogue than myself. I'm really curious about the Tree as well all in all pretty good.

2 hours ago, ginger_reckoning said:

 

  Hide contents

(Mareen is established as a sarcastic teen. Mohin gets more worried about his wife, and then goes to go wait for her at the pit. Introduce the kids.) 

 

 I assume that this will be worked on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...