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Introducing The Stormlight Archive to My Wife, or: A Hilarious Series of Names


Goatbringer

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On 11/13/2020 at 7:40 AM, Goatbringer said:

*Odium gives Dalinar back his memories of Evi, but he’s already been getting them back*

TAY: Haha! Odium! That’s all you got? Why do you think I haven’t been sleeping for six months?

Yup. That pretty much sums it up. OH MY GOSH I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD!!!

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  • 1 month later...
Spoiler
15 minutes ago, Goatbringer said:

why can’t Jasnah just Soulcast perfect gemstones?

I don't know if you remember, but it was straight-forwardly stated in either WoK or WoR that you can't Soulcast gemstones. I would guess it's also impossible to Stoneshape it.

 

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I've moved your thread to the RoW forums so you don't have to worry about spoiling things here! ^_^ 

4 hours ago, Goatbringer said:
Spoiler

TAY: Okay – is he saying that it’s an actual chicken? Like, some big, fat, awkward green chicken is out catching moles in the mountains?
ME: No, it’s just that birds are so rare in Roshar that they’re all commonly called ‘chickens’.
TAY: Why can’t he just call them birds? Each time I hear ‘chicken’ I’m picturing some oversized cartoon chicken. What an obscure hill to die on, that all birds are chickens.

 

But...but it's a fun linguistic thing? :P 

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1 hour ago, AonEne said:

I've moved your thread to the RoW forums so you don't have to worry about spoiling things here! ^_^ 

With lots of people already following this thread from before, if they don't know it's been moved to this board, wouldn't it be likely for them to get spoiled?

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6 hours ago, Goatbringer said:

*Pattern is explaining to Shallan that he is very famous among Cryptics*

TAY: Pattern trying to convince Shallan that he’s famous is like me trying to convince people that I’m famous because of this thread on the 17th Shard.

Yeah, so Pattern's famous. She's just proving his point with logic like that.

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19 minutes ago, Chiberty said:

With lots of people already following this thread from before, if they don't know it's been moved to this board, wouldn't it be likely for them to get spoiled?

If the thread is going into RoW content, then reading it would get them spoiled regardless of which forum the thread was in. Anyone who hasn't read RoW should be able to see the warning that the readthrough has hit RoW and note that if they don't want to get spoiled, they shouldn't continue reading. If someone chooses to keep reading a Stormlight thread after it hits RoW material, that's really their choice; this just makes it so that newcomers to the thread are less likely to get spoiled. 

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12 minutes ago, AonEne said:

If the thread is going into RoW content, then reading it would get them spoiled regardless of which forum the thread was in. Anyone who hasn't read RoW should be able to see the warning that the readthrough has hit RoW and note that if they don't want to get spoiled, they shouldn't continue reading. If someone chooses to keep reading a Stormlight thread after it hits RoW material, that's really their choice; this just makes it so that newcomers to the thread are less likely to get spoiled. 

Yeah I worried about this and tried my best to keep everything under spoiler wraps, but I appreciate the move to the RoW board nonetheless

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11 hours ago, Goatbringer said:

TAY: Pattern trying to convince Shallan that he’s famous is like me trying to convince people that I’m famous because of this thread on the 17th Shard.

Um, you are? Like really famous. Among these people at least. And me. I think you’re famous. :).

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
19 minutes ago, Goatbringer said:

TAY: *angrily* Oh! Really, Dalinar? Nobody in this tent gives a *censored* what you think! Supercilious blowhard. After Evi, you never get to hold the moral high ground! TAY: Wait, so Odium’s voidlight is violet?
ME: Violet-black, yes.
TAY: But his followers’ eyes are red. And their skin is red, black, and white.
ME: Yeah.
TAY: But he’s always described in gold robes?
ME: What are you getting at here?
TAY: Odium’s colour palette is all wrong. He needs to Stick. To. A. Simple. Colour. Palette. This is not on-brand. This is not how you raise an empire. Ugh.

Right questions Tay, wrong answers.

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Spoiler
5 hours ago, Goatbringer said:

We’re back for another exciting edition of “Tay Falls Asleep Within 2 Minutes of Me Reading So I Have to Start the Chapter Over Again the Next Day”.

We’re workshopping the name, but at least it’s honest. Since the moderators have kindly moved this thread over to the Rhythm of War spoiler boards, I’m not going to hide these reactions behind a mask of mirrors no wait, an invisibility cloak ack still wrong fandom… a spoiler lightweaving.

Part III reactions ahoy!

--

TAY: Chris, write this down so that I can tell you “I told you so” when I’m right. The Sibling is going to switch on Urithiru by plugging in sword ninny.

--

TAY: Adolin should be the Bondsmith. He’s so much cooler and better at bringing people together than Dalinar. Plus everyone likes him.

--

On the above note, Tay had much to say about Dalinar. Now that she knows his backstory, she’s not as quick to forgive him as many other characters are. Much like Adolin, she is kind of putting up with D-Man because the whole fate of humanity rests on his shoulders. But she’s still pretty mad about the whole ‘burning his wife to death’ thing. Can’t really blame her though.

Be ready for some Dalinar roasting (pun intended)

--

*Dalinar tells Jasnah he disapproves of her plot to get Ruthar out of his position*

TAY: *angrily* Oh! Really, Dalinar? Nobody in this tent gives a *censored* what you think! Supercilious blowhard. After Evi, you never get to hold the moral high ground! Jasnah should call him “Uncle-who-knows-jack-*censored*-about-*censored*”. You found this entire experience “distasteful”? Know who else found this entire experience distasteful? YOUR WIFE. Oh wait, she can’t experience anything ever because she’s now dead. I swear, he could have vertigo from the pedestal he thinks he’s on.

*Interestingly, I think Taravangian says something very similar to Dalinar in their chapter together in this Part*

--

*Gavinor asking if his father was brave when he died*

TAY: Oof. Little guy is asking the big questions.

--

*Dalinar and Renarin are speaking to each other while Sigzil is Worldsinging*

TAY: I mean, I think it’s kind of rude that they’re interrupting Schnitzel telling his campfire stories, but okay. These are the kind of guys who don’t clap when there’s a live band.

--

*Dalinar is being a good dad to Renarin*

TAY: HEY! Dalinar! Why are you only being nice to one of your sons! This is Radiant privilege and I will not stand for it!

--

*At this point, Tay got excited about which characters we were in the Knights Radiant official quiz up on Brandon’s website. As you no doubt remember, we did this last year when it dropped – Tay was a Windrunner and I got Lightweaver, much to Tay’s laughter.

This time, we did it for each other – answering what we believed about the other person. Tay got Windrunner again, but this time I got Truthwatcher.*

TAY: It’s because I am consistent in my character and you? You are a fickle *censored*.

--

TAY: Venli wants to remake the Listeners? Man, hasn’t she read The Great Gatsby? You can’t relive the past, old sport.

*This may well be the first time she’s mentioned Venli. This is because Tay hates Venli. Like, “Shallan-in-the-first-book” level hate*

--

TAY: Brandon Sanderson writes about fashion and people who are interested in fashion like someone who has never cared about clothes in their life. “Adolin did up his buttons. They were shiny and round and fashionable, the peak of Alethi style.”

--

*Syl impersonating a Voidspren*

TAY: “I’m really annoyed?” Oh my god, Syl is you. A polite Canadian trying to be angry.

--

TAY: Is it just me, or does “The Pursuer” sound like a bad WWE character?
ME: Not gonna lie, I’ve been picturing him as Triple H.

21-22.jpg.79f544500f3f974ee37f8ccfe0646594.jpg

--

TAY: On that subject, ‘The Lady of Wishes’? You can’t tell me that’s not the name of the mistress of a high-end brothel.

--

*Points for Tay – she has guessed that Venli will free Lift… but she guessed it before Venli spoke her rejected Second Ideal*

--

*On the topic of emulsification, Tay has helpfully put forth the idea that mustard would be an excellent emulsifier for Voidlight and Stormlight since it works well for vinegar and oil in a salad dressing. She frequently asks “Where’s the mustard” when Navani and Raboniel are on the topic*

--

*Tayla is also being a real trooper in the Light theory chapters. While I found them fascinating, Tay has been instantly brought back to the horrid spectre of her grade 11 science classes… a class in which she was one percent off an A. As a result, I’m having to give her some Cole’s Notes on the progress Navani is making*

--

*Discussing the Magnified Ones and whether Edgedancers could do that*

TAY: So I could just make a tree appear and block a shard? That’s what I’ll do. Make a tree pop out of my skin.
ME: You’d need seeds to do that, I think.
TAY: Yeah but I’d be prepared. I’d keep seeds in my pockets and then BLAM! Tree-face.

--

TAY: Wait, so Odium’s voidlight is violet?
ME: Violet-black, yes.
TAY: But his followers’ eyes are red. And their skin is red, black, and white.
ME: Yeah.
TAY: But he’s always described in gold robes?
ME: What are you getting at here?
TAY: Odium’s colour palette is all wrong. He needs to Stick. To. A. Simple. Colour. Palette. This is not on-brand. This is not how you raise an empire. Ugh.

--

*Dalinar talking about how Taravangian is able to influence others*

TAY: I like the idea of Taravangian being an Instagram influencer. “Take a burst shot of me as I commit this atrocity!”
ME: “Do these burnt orange robes make me look fat? Be honest, Adrotagia.”

--

*Tay has a pretty okay theory that Dalinar testing out his Bondsmith powers during a Highstorm will allow him to progress faster, due to the Connection and the closeness of all three Realms*

--

*Dalinar in the Highstorm*

TAY: I can show you Roshaaaaar. Shining, shimmering, wetness!

--

*Chiri-chiri is mentioned*

TAY: *incessantly sings this*

--

That’s all for now, folks! Next one is gonna be a combined Parts IV and V because of, well, you know.

Crem before cremlings!

 

Ha! The Cremling Strikes Back! 

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On 1/17/2021 at 8:28 AM, Goatbringer said:

*Dalinar is being a good dad to Renarin*

TAY: HEY! Dalinar! Why are you only being nice to one of your sons! This is Radiant privilege and I will not stand for it!

--

TAY: Wait, so Odium’s voidlight is violet?
ME: Violet-black, yes.
TAY: But his followers’ eyes are red. And their skin is red, black, and white.
ME: Yeah.
TAY: But he’s always described in gold robes?
ME: What are you getting at here?
TAY: Odium’s colour palette is all wrong. He needs to Stick. To. A. Simple. Colour. Palette. This is not on-brand. This is not how you raise an empire. Ugh.

He's making up for all those years he paid Adolin attention and not Renarin -_-:P

Okay but she's NOT WRONG. :lol:

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On 1/17/2021 at 7:28 AM, Goatbringer said:

Now that she knows his backstory, she’s not as quick to forgive him as many other characters are.

I now love Tay. I was already a fan because this thread. :lol: But disliking Dalinar? That is where I live.

 

On 1/17/2021 at 7:28 AM, Goatbringer said:

I swear, he could have vertigo from the pedestal he thinks he’s on.

Yes!

 

On 1/17/2021 at 7:28 AM, Goatbringer said:

TAY: “I’m really annoyed?” Oh my god, Syl is you. A polite Canadian trying to be angry.

@Goatbringer You are the man! I also really love Canadian jokes.

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8 hours ago, Aspiring Writer said:

... My brain is trying to comprehend this glorious nonsense and failing. Your wife is beyond human comprehension. We poor fools will never understand the wisdom that comes from her words.

Obviously you haven't gotten to the Kalinar ship.

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On 1/17/2021 at 10:28 AM, Goatbringer said:

TAY: Brandon Sanderson writes about fashion and people who are interested in fashion like someone who has never cared about clothes in their life. “Adolin did up his buttons. They were shiny and round and fashionable, the peak of Alethi style.”

This. This so much. :lol: :lol: :lol: (But srsly we love Brandon just the way he is, fashion or no.)

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5 hours ago, Sara Stormblessed said:

What do you mean? What are the right answers to these questions? Asking because I also got confused by all Odiums colors. Couldn't quite understand the situation with Kal's eyes...

Red - corruption so it's investiture from another shard.

The other two are speculative but if you check out Voidbinding Solved in my signature I believe that Voidlight doesn't fuel Voidbinding, at least not by itself.

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