Shard of Reading Posted November 25, 2020 Report Share Posted November 25, 2020 On 11/13/2020 at 7:40 AM, Goatbringer said: *Odium gives Dalinar back his memories of Evi, but he’s already been getting them back* TAY: Haha! Odium! That’s all you got? Why do you think I haven’t been sleeping for six months? Yup. That pretty much sums it up. OH MY GOSH I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Goatbringer Posted January 4, 2021 Author Popular Post Report Share Posted January 4, 2021 (edited) Guys, it’s a Koloss Head-Munching Day Miracle. While Tay was kind of keen to wait on the Graphic Audio version of Rhythm of War, she realized that it’s going to be, like, a year before all six parts are released and we can listen to it all in one go. As a result, I am currently reading to her (and imitating the excellent voice acting from the previous Graphic Audio versions), while Tay does some sound effects when prompted (she was very good at imitating the red chicken from the Lift interlude). All this to say: we’ve started Part III of Rhythm of War, and since this is not in the designated RoW section, all of Tay’s reactions and theories will be covered by the Shroud of Spoilers. Again, just to be absolutely clear, please do not read the below if you have not yet read Parts I and II of Rhythm of War. Happy reading! Spoiler *Discussing some of the casting choices on this site, which has Josh Brolin as the favourite to play Dalinar* TAY: Nah way man. Dalinar gotta be way more skeez. Dirty ol’ Jeffrey Dean Morgan is still tops. -- *Before launching into book 4, Tay decided to ask some pointed ‘yes/no’ questions about the contents of book 4* TAY: Does Kaladin get some? ME: It is implied that he might have between books 3 and 4. TAY: But nothing in this book? ME: Not explicitly, no. TAY: Poor guy. TAY: Does Renarin.... do things? ME: What do you mean? TAY: I really don’t know. TAY: *disappointedly* Oh no, is there a lot of Szeth in this one? -- *Tay was skeptical that the war had slowed to a stalemate in the last year. I asked her to explain her reasoning* TAY: Uh, knowing the Parshendi (and I know the Parshendi), there's no such thing as slow progression. They own the city. Uh… Kholinar? They won the city and now we're your overlords. Yep. ME: You know that the proper nomenclature is ‘singer’ right? TAY: It’ll take some getting used to. Also, props to the dudes who got taken over for using the right names for them. They could just be awful about it and keep deadnaming them, ya know? -- *I often read to Tay when she’s close to sleeping and then check the next morning to see what she remembered. In this case, the Fourth Bridge has shown up* TAY: I’m pretty sure this is wrong, but did a blimp roll into town? ME: Actually… kind of. -- TAY: Chris, tell your nerd friends that when the flying ship shows up with Dalinar and the KR, they should come in to this song. *plays song for me* -- *The Mink has disappeared when Kaladin is looking for him* TAY: Kaladin be like “that's not cute – stop acting like that's cute!” -- *Godeke is trapped in the manor with the Pursuer* TAY: Mah boi Kaladin coming to get you, son. -- TAY: Ialai is actually spelled aoili like the garlic mayo sauce. Just to let you know. -- TAY: Hot take: this Ialai assassination is gonna fail! -- TAY: I have a question. Aren't you just a douche if you attract gloryspren? Like you’re soooo proud of yourself? Someone like my brother will have gloryspren crowding around him if he just barely manages to not fail a test in school. -- *Part I. You know which scene* TAY: OH *censored* YOU, MOASH! *The first of many of those exclamations, I am sure* -- *Moash talking to Kaladin in the basement of the manor* TAY: Moash sounding like one of those born-again religious types right now. “Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Odium?” -- By this point, Tay is doing a fantastic job at guessing the book. She has started talking about Kaladin’s need for therapy, which, as we all know, happens. She has also guessed something that does happen in the book later on, but since she creeps these threads (hey!), I’m not going to add what that is right now. TAY: Kaladin needs to work on freezing when *censored* gets hot. You're a choker. You choke. You need to find some way to get therapy, dude. -- *Kaladin musing on never attaining the Fourth Ideal* TAY: How many ideals are there? ME: Five for each order except the Lightweavers. TAY: So if you get your blade with the third and your armor with the fourth, what do you get you’re your fifth ideal? ME: I’m actually not really sure yet. TAY: I hope they get a pony for the fifth ideal. -- *Kaladin talking about not understanding spren psychology* TAY: Kaladin talking about spren psychology when he doesn't understand human psychology. That’s rich. -- *Had to stop reading because Tay had a question* TAY: Okay – is he saying that it’s an actual chicken? Like, some big, fat, awkward green chicken is out catching moles in the mountains? ME: No, it’s just that birds are so rare in Roshar that they’re all commonly called ‘chickens’. TAY: Why can’t he just call them birds? Each time I hear ‘chicken’ I’m picturing some oversized cartoon chicken. What an obscure hill to die on, that all birds are chickens. -- TAY: Oh hey, do we see her again? Chimichurri lady? ME: *confused until I realize she’s thinking of “Chiri-Chiri”* -- *Jasnah trying to explain to her uncle and mother that she’s the queen and they can’t actually tell her what to do* TAY: Oh my god. It just keeps getting reaffirmed. I'm Jasnah. -- *Wit says something about Odium not hesitating in the meeting between Dalinar, Jasnah, Navani, and the Heralds* TAY: Odium doesn’t hesitate. He exhibits no restraint, he just takes and he takes and he takes… Tay was then distracted for the next ten minutes singing to Hamilton, as per usual. -- As is customary at the end of a “Part”, Tay gave her best shot at naming all the orders of Knights Radiant. And she did pretty good compared to older attempts. TAY: Windrunners. Edgedancers. Lightweavers. Bondsmiths. Willshapers… like conveyancing attorneys! Ha! Skybreakers. Truthwatcher. Hmmm. Shadowbreaker? Stormb...b...? And Shademovers She made a decent argument that she should get a score of 8/10 since Elsecallers technically move people in and out of Shadesmar, so they could be seen as “Shademovers”. -- TAY: “Adrotagia” sounds like a delicious cheese you’d add to a bloody marvelous panini. -- *The first Taravangian interlude is chock full of the phrase “one last time” which, you will remember, is a Hamilton song. Much distraction ensued* -- Tay wished me to let you all know, once I told her that the Windrunners (and the Stonewards) are generally regarded as the more ‘military’ branches of the Knights Radiant, that she has proclaimed herself “General Kaplan of the Windrunners”, because many of her students have come to call her General Kaplan (their group chat is even called “General Kaplan’s Kids”). I’m just hoping the Ministry of Magic doesn’t take it too literally, like Dumbledore’s Army. Wait, which fantasy fandom am I in right now? Oh, storms. -- TAY: Chris, if you want a Stormlight tattoo, you should get a tattoo of a green chicken. On your butt. -- TAY: Hey. Stop. I have a meme idea that you have to make for me. -- *In-text references that Cryptics aren’t as intense at bonding someone as the Honorspren are* TAY: Cryptics aren’t discerning? Makes sense now how someone chose Shallan. -- *Pattern is explaining to Shallan that he is very famous among Cryptics* TAY: Pattern trying to convince Shallan that he’s famous is like me trying to convince people that I’m famous because of this thread on the 17th Shard. -- *Navani’s ardent colleague* TAY: *sung to the tune of Deck the Halls* Falilar-lilar-li-lar-lar-lar. -- TAY: They’re all complaining that the Thaylens have perfect gemstones… why can’t Jasnah just Soulcast perfect gemstones? I didn’t have an answer to this, but I figure it has to do with the skill of the Soulcaster. However, legit question: could Stonewards or Willshapers use Cohesion to alter the structure of gemstones so that they have a crystalline structure that could hold SL indefinitely? Or longer? Any answer here is welcome. -- *Tay is distractedly reading her phone as Adolin gets stabbed in his fight against the Tukari* TAY: Wait! Adolin has been stabbed? And they don’t have any Stormlight to heal him? Again? No! He’s the one good thing in this world, Chris! Rewind and read it again! -- *Raboniel’s meeting with Navani after the tower is taken over* -- TAY: So wait, if you dump water on the stormforms they can’t shoot lightning? So this whole invasion could have been averted if they just made people carry waterbottles through Urithiru? -- *The Lift interlude with the chicken* TAY: Chris is it a spren chicken? OH! HA! Like ‘spring chicken’! -- TAY: Okay here’s my theory: Taravangian is figuring stuff out with Renarin. His plan is going to be save his own skin. Because he can’t kill Odium because of Kharbranth being saved. And there you have it, folks! Will Tay’s predictions about Taravangian come true? Will she get progressively more annoyed at Venli? How will she react to the flashbacks? FIND OUT NEXT TIME! Crem before cremlings. *Bridge Four Salute* Edited January 4, 2021 by Goatbringer 24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trutharchivist Posted January 4, 2021 Report Share Posted January 4, 2021 Spoiler 15 minutes ago, Goatbringer said: why can’t Jasnah just Soulcast perfect gemstones? I don't know if you remember, but it was straight-forwardly stated in either WoK or WoR that you can't Soulcast gemstones. I would guess it's also impossible to Stoneshape it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goatbringer Posted January 4, 2021 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2021 @Trutharchivist thanks... I thought there was something like that but wasn't sure 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AonEne Posted January 4, 2021 Report Share Posted January 4, 2021 I've moved your thread to the RoW forums so you don't have to worry about spoiling things here! 4 hours ago, Goatbringer said: Spoiler TAY: Okay – is he saying that it’s an actual chicken? Like, some big, fat, awkward green chicken is out catching moles in the mountains? ME: No, it’s just that birds are so rare in Roshar that they’re all commonly called ‘chickens’. TAY: Why can’t he just call them birds? Each time I hear ‘chicken’ I’m picturing some oversized cartoon chicken. What an obscure hill to die on, that all birds are chickens. But...but it's a fun linguistic thing? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiberty Posted January 4, 2021 Report Share Posted January 4, 2021 1 hour ago, AonEne said: I've moved your thread to the RoW forums so you don't have to worry about spoiling things here! With lots of people already following this thread from before, if they don't know it's been moved to this board, wouldn't it be likely for them to get spoiled? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shard of Reading Posted January 4, 2021 Report Share Posted January 4, 2021 6 hours ago, Goatbringer said: *Pattern is explaining to Shallan that he is very famous among Cryptics* TAY: Pattern trying to convince Shallan that he’s famous is like me trying to convince people that I’m famous because of this thread on the 17th Shard. Yeah, so Pattern's famous. She's just proving his point with logic like that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AonEne Posted January 4, 2021 Report Share Posted January 4, 2021 19 minutes ago, Chiberty said: With lots of people already following this thread from before, if they don't know it's been moved to this board, wouldn't it be likely for them to get spoiled? If the thread is going into RoW content, then reading it would get them spoiled regardless of which forum the thread was in. Anyone who hasn't read RoW should be able to see the warning that the readthrough has hit RoW and note that if they don't want to get spoiled, they shouldn't continue reading. If someone chooses to keep reading a Stormlight thread after it hits RoW material, that's really their choice; this just makes it so that newcomers to the thread are less likely to get spoiled. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goatbringer Posted January 4, 2021 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2021 12 minutes ago, AonEne said: If the thread is going into RoW content, then reading it would get them spoiled regardless of which forum the thread was in. Anyone who hasn't read RoW should be able to see the warning that the readthrough has hit RoW and note that if they don't want to get spoiled, they shouldn't continue reading. If someone chooses to keep reading a Stormlight thread after it hits RoW material, that's really their choice; this just makes it so that newcomers to the thread are less likely to get spoiled. Yeah I worried about this and tried my best to keep everything under spoiler wraps, but I appreciate the move to the RoW board nonetheless 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearer of all agonies Posted January 5, 2021 Report Share Posted January 5, 2021 11 hours ago, Goatbringer said: TAY: Pattern trying to convince Shallan that he’s famous is like me trying to convince people that I’m famous because of this thread on the 17th Shard. Um, you are? Like really famous. Among these people at least. And me. I think you’re famous. :). 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Goatbringer Posted January 17, 2021 Author Popular Post Report Share Posted January 17, 2021 We’re back for another exciting edition of “Tay Falls Asleep Within 2 Minutes of Me Reading So I Have to Start the Chapter Over Again the Next Day”. We’re workshopping the name, but at least it’s honest. Since the moderators have kindly moved this thread over to the Rhythm of War spoiler boards, I’m not going to hide these reactions behind a mask of mirrors no wait, an invisibility cloak ack still wrong fandom… a spoiler lightweaving. Part III reactions ahoy! -- TAY: Chris, write this down so that I can tell you “I told you so” when I’m right. The Sibling is going to switch on Urithiru by plugging in sword ninny. -- TAY: Adolin should be the Bondsmith. He’s so much cooler and better at bringing people together than Dalinar. Plus everyone likes him. -- On the above note, Tay had much to say about Dalinar. Now that she knows his backstory, she’s not as quick to forgive him as many other characters are. Much like Adolin, she is kind of putting up with D-Man because the whole fate of humanity rests on his shoulders. But she’s still pretty mad about the whole ‘burning his wife to death’ thing. Can’t really blame her though. Be ready for some Dalinar roasting (pun intended) -- *Dalinar tells Jasnah he disapproves of her plot to get Ruthar out of his position* TAY: *angrily* Oh! Really, Dalinar? Nobody in this tent gives a *censored* what you think! Supercilious blowhard. After Evi, you never get to hold the moral high ground! Jasnah should call him “Uncle-who-knows-jack-*censored*-about-*censored*”. You found this entire experience “distasteful”? Know who else found this entire experience distasteful? YOUR WIFE. Oh wait, she can’t experience anything ever because she’s now dead. I swear, he could have vertigo from the pedestal he thinks he’s on. *Interestingly, I think Taravangian says something very similar to Dalinar in their chapter together in this Part* -- *Gavinor asking if his father was brave when he died* TAY: Oof. Little guy is asking the big questions. -- *Dalinar and Renarin are speaking to each other while Sigzil is Worldsinging* TAY: I mean, I think it’s kind of rude that they’re interrupting Schnitzel telling his campfire stories, but okay. These are the kind of guys who don’t clap when there’s a live band. -- *Dalinar is being a good dad to Renarin* TAY: HEY! Dalinar! Why are you only being nice to one of your sons! This is Radiant privilege and I will not stand for it! -- *At this point, Tay got excited about which characters we were in the Knights Radiant official quiz up on Brandon’s website. As you no doubt remember, we did this last year when it dropped – Tay was a Windrunner and I got Lightweaver, much to Tay’s laughter. This time, we did it for each other – answering what we believed about the other person. Tay got Windrunner again, but this time I got Truthwatcher.* TAY: It’s because I am consistent in my character and you? You are a fickle *censored*. -- TAY: Venli wants to remake the Listeners? Man, hasn’t she read The Great Gatsby? You can’t relive the past, old sport. *This may well be the first time she’s mentioned Venli. This is because Tay hates Venli. Like, “Shallan-in-the-first-book” level hate* -- TAY: Brandon Sanderson writes about fashion and people who are interested in fashion like someone who has never cared about clothes in their life. “Adolin did up his buttons. They were shiny and round and fashionable, the peak of Alethi style.” -- *Syl impersonating a Voidspren* TAY: “I’m really annoyed?” Oh my god, Syl is you. A polite Canadian trying to be angry. -- TAY: Is it just me, or does “The Pursuer” sound like a bad WWE character? ME: Not gonna lie, I’ve been picturing him as Triple H. -- TAY: On that subject, ‘The Lady of Wishes’? You can’t tell me that’s not the name of the mistress of a high-end brothel. -- *Points for Tay – she has guessed that Venli will free Lift… but she guessed it before Venli spoke her rejected Second Ideal* -- *On the topic of emulsification, Tay has helpfully put forth the idea that mustard would be an excellent emulsifier for Voidlight and Stormlight since it works well for vinegar and oil in a salad dressing. She frequently asks “Where’s the mustard” when Navani and Raboniel are on the topic* -- *Tayla is also being a real trooper in the Light theory chapters. While I found them fascinating, Tay has been instantly brought back to the horrid spectre of her grade 11 science classes… a class in which she was one percent off an A. As a result, I’m having to give her some Cole’s Notes on the progress Navani is making* -- *Discussing the Magnified Ones and whether Edgedancers could do that* TAY: So I could just make a tree appear and block a shard? That’s what I’ll do. Make a tree pop out of my skin. ME: You’d need seeds to do that, I think. TAY: Yeah but I’d be prepared. I’d keep seeds in my pockets and then BLAM! Tree-face. -- TAY: Wait, so Odium’s voidlight is violet? ME: Violet-black, yes. TAY: But his followers’ eyes are red. And their skin is red, black, and white. ME: Yeah. TAY: But he’s always described in gold robes? ME: What are you getting at here? TAY: Odium’s colour palette is all wrong. He needs to Stick. To. A. Simple. Colour. Palette. This is not on-brand. This is not how you raise an empire. Ugh. -- *Dalinar talking about how Taravangian is able to influence others* TAY: I like the idea of Taravangian being an Instagram influencer. “Take a burst shot of me as I commit this atrocity!” ME: “Do these burnt orange robes make me look fat? Be honest, Adrotagia.” -- *Tay has a pretty okay theory that Dalinar testing out his Bondsmith powers during a Highstorm will allow him to progress faster, due to the Connection and the closeness of all three Realms* -- *Dalinar in the Highstorm* TAY: I can show you Roshaaaaar. Shining, shimmering, wetness! -- *Chiri-chiri is mentioned* TAY: *incessantly sings this* -- That’s all for now, folks! Next one is gonna be a combined Parts IV and V because of, well, you know. Crem before cremlings! 21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frustration Posted January 17, 2021 Report Share Posted January 17, 2021 19 minutes ago, Goatbringer said: TAY: *angrily* Oh! Really, Dalinar? Nobody in this tent gives a *censored* what you think! Supercilious blowhard. After Evi, you never get to hold the moral high ground! TAY: Wait, so Odium’s voidlight is violet? ME: Violet-black, yes. TAY: But his followers’ eyes are red. And their skin is red, black, and white. ME: Yeah. TAY: But he’s always described in gold robes? ME: What are you getting at here? TAY: Odium’s colour palette is all wrong. He needs to Stick. To. A. Simple. Colour. Palette. This is not on-brand. This is not how you raise an empire. Ugh. Right questions Tay, wrong answers. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearer of all agonies Posted January 17, 2021 Report Share Posted January 17, 2021 Spoiler 5 hours ago, Goatbringer said: We’re back for another exciting edition of “Tay Falls Asleep Within 2 Minutes of Me Reading So I Have to Start the Chapter Over Again the Next Day”. We’re workshopping the name, but at least it’s honest. Since the moderators have kindly moved this thread over to the Rhythm of War spoiler boards, I’m not going to hide these reactions behind a mask of mirrors no wait, an invisibility cloak ack still wrong fandom… a spoiler lightweaving. Part III reactions ahoy! -- TAY: Chris, write this down so that I can tell you “I told you so” when I’m right. The Sibling is going to switch on Urithiru by plugging in sword ninny. -- TAY: Adolin should be the Bondsmith. He’s so much cooler and better at bringing people together than Dalinar. Plus everyone likes him. -- On the above note, Tay had much to say about Dalinar. Now that she knows his backstory, she’s not as quick to forgive him as many other characters are. Much like Adolin, she is kind of putting up with D-Man because the whole fate of humanity rests on his shoulders. But she’s still pretty mad about the whole ‘burning his wife to death’ thing. Can’t really blame her though. Be ready for some Dalinar roasting (pun intended) -- *Dalinar tells Jasnah he disapproves of her plot to get Ruthar out of his position* TAY: *angrily* Oh! Really, Dalinar? Nobody in this tent gives a *censored* what you think! Supercilious blowhard. After Evi, you never get to hold the moral high ground! Jasnah should call him “Uncle-who-knows-jack-*censored*-about-*censored*”. You found this entire experience “distasteful”? Know who else found this entire experience distasteful? YOUR WIFE. Oh wait, she can’t experience anything ever because she’s now dead. I swear, he could have vertigo from the pedestal he thinks he’s on. *Interestingly, I think Taravangian says something very similar to Dalinar in their chapter together in this Part* -- *Gavinor asking if his father was brave when he died* TAY: Oof. Little guy is asking the big questions. -- *Dalinar and Renarin are speaking to each other while Sigzil is Worldsinging* TAY: I mean, I think it’s kind of rude that they’re interrupting Schnitzel telling his campfire stories, but okay. These are the kind of guys who don’t clap when there’s a live band. -- *Dalinar is being a good dad to Renarin* TAY: HEY! Dalinar! Why are you only being nice to one of your sons! This is Radiant privilege and I will not stand for it! -- *At this point, Tay got excited about which characters we were in the Knights Radiant official quiz up on Brandon’s website. As you no doubt remember, we did this last year when it dropped – Tay was a Windrunner and I got Lightweaver, much to Tay’s laughter. This time, we did it for each other – answering what we believed about the other person. Tay got Windrunner again, but this time I got Truthwatcher.* TAY: It’s because I am consistent in my character and you? You are a fickle *censored*. -- TAY: Venli wants to remake the Listeners? Man, hasn’t she read The Great Gatsby? You can’t relive the past, old sport. *This may well be the first time she’s mentioned Venli. This is because Tay hates Venli. Like, “Shallan-in-the-first-book” level hate* -- TAY: Brandon Sanderson writes about fashion and people who are interested in fashion like someone who has never cared about clothes in their life. “Adolin did up his buttons. They were shiny and round and fashionable, the peak of Alethi style.” -- *Syl impersonating a Voidspren* TAY: “I’m really annoyed?” Oh my god, Syl is you. A polite Canadian trying to be angry. -- TAY: Is it just me, or does “The Pursuer” sound like a bad WWE character? ME: Not gonna lie, I’ve been picturing him as Triple H. -- TAY: On that subject, ‘The Lady of Wishes’? You can’t tell me that’s not the name of the mistress of a high-end brothel. -- *Points for Tay – she has guessed that Venli will free Lift… but she guessed it before Venli spoke her rejected Second Ideal* -- *On the topic of emulsification, Tay has helpfully put forth the idea that mustard would be an excellent emulsifier for Voidlight and Stormlight since it works well for vinegar and oil in a salad dressing. She frequently asks “Where’s the mustard” when Navani and Raboniel are on the topic* -- *Tayla is also being a real trooper in the Light theory chapters. While I found them fascinating, Tay has been instantly brought back to the horrid spectre of her grade 11 science classes… a class in which she was one percent off an A. As a result, I’m having to give her some Cole’s Notes on the progress Navani is making* -- *Discussing the Magnified Ones and whether Edgedancers could do that* TAY: So I could just make a tree appear and block a shard? That’s what I’ll do. Make a tree pop out of my skin. ME: You’d need seeds to do that, I think. TAY: Yeah but I’d be prepared. I’d keep seeds in my pockets and then BLAM! Tree-face. -- TAY: Wait, so Odium’s voidlight is violet? ME: Violet-black, yes. TAY: But his followers’ eyes are red. And their skin is red, black, and white. ME: Yeah. TAY: But he’s always described in gold robes? ME: What are you getting at here? TAY: Odium’s colour palette is all wrong. He needs to Stick. To. A. Simple. Colour. Palette. This is not on-brand. This is not how you raise an empire. Ugh. -- *Dalinar talking about how Taravangian is able to influence others* TAY: I like the idea of Taravangian being an Instagram influencer. “Take a burst shot of me as I commit this atrocity!” ME: “Do these burnt orange robes make me look fat? Be honest, Adrotagia.” -- *Tay has a pretty okay theory that Dalinar testing out his Bondsmith powers during a Highstorm will allow him to progress faster, due to the Connection and the closeness of all three Realms* -- *Dalinar in the Highstorm* TAY: I can show you Roshaaaaar. Shining, shimmering, wetness! -- *Chiri-chiri is mentioned* TAY: *incessantly sings this* -- That’s all for now, folks! Next one is gonna be a combined Parts IV and V because of, well, you know. Crem before cremlings! Ha! The Cremling Strikes Back! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AonEne Posted January 19, 2021 Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 On 1/17/2021 at 8:28 AM, Goatbringer said: *Dalinar is being a good dad to Renarin* TAY: HEY! Dalinar! Why are you only being nice to one of your sons! This is Radiant privilege and I will not stand for it! -- TAY: Wait, so Odium’s voidlight is violet? ME: Violet-black, yes. TAY: But his followers’ eyes are red. And their skin is red, black, and white. ME: Yeah. TAY: But he’s always described in gold robes? ME: What are you getting at here? TAY: Odium’s colour palette is all wrong. He needs to Stick. To. A. Simple. Colour. Palette. This is not on-brand. This is not how you raise an empire. Ugh. He's making up for all those years he paid Adolin attention and not Renarin Okay but she's NOT WRONG. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wotbibliophile Posted January 21, 2021 Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 On 1/17/2021 at 7:28 AM, Goatbringer said: Now that she knows his backstory, she’s not as quick to forgive him as many other characters are. I now love Tay. I was already a fan because this thread. But disliking Dalinar? That is where I live. On 1/17/2021 at 7:28 AM, Goatbringer said: I swear, he could have vertigo from the pedestal he thinks he’s on. Yes! On 1/17/2021 at 7:28 AM, Goatbringer said: TAY: “I’m really annoyed?” Oh my god, Syl is you. A polite Canadian trying to be angry. @Goatbringer You are the man! I also really love Canadian jokes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aspiring Writer Posted January 21, 2021 Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 ... My brain is trying to comprehend this glorious nonsense and failing. Your wife is beyond human comprehension. We poor fools will never understand the wisdom that comes from her words. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frustration Posted January 21, 2021 Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 8 hours ago, Aspiring Writer said: ... My brain is trying to comprehend this glorious nonsense and failing. Your wife is beyond human comprehension. We poor fools will never understand the wisdom that comes from her words. Obviously you haven't gotten to the Kalinar ship. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aspiring Writer Posted January 21, 2021 Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Frustration said: Obviously you haven't gotten to the Kalinar ship. ... I skipped through a lot. However... I approve. (Never gonna happen, but I approve nonetheless.) Edited January 21, 2021 by Aspiring Writer 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frustration Posted January 21, 2021 Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 36 minutes ago, Aspiring Writer said: ... I skipped through a lot. However... I approve. (Never gonna happen, but I approve nonetheless.) Kaladin and Dalinar? You approve? ... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voidspawn Posted January 21, 2021 Report Share Posted January 21, 2021 Spoiler On 1/4/2021 at 6:35 AM, Goatbringer said: TAY: Does Kaladin get some? She called him Kaladin! I still prefer Slaveboi. Keep it up! Crem before cremlings. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iarwainiel I Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 On 1/17/2021 at 10:28 AM, Goatbringer said: TAY: Brandon Sanderson writes about fashion and people who are interested in fashion like someone who has never cared about clothes in their life. “Adolin did up his buttons. They were shiny and round and fashionable, the peak of Alethi style.” This. This so much. (But srsly we love Brandon just the way he is, fashion or no.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Stormblessed Posted January 26, 2021 Report Share Posted January 26, 2021 On 1/17/2021 at 7:48 AM, Frustration said: Right questions Tay, wrong answers. What do you mean? What are the right answers to these questions? Asking because I also got confused by all Odiums colors. Couldn't quite understand the situation with Kal's eyes... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frustration Posted January 26, 2021 Report Share Posted January 26, 2021 5 hours ago, Sara Stormblessed said: What do you mean? What are the right answers to these questions? Asking because I also got confused by all Odiums colors. Couldn't quite understand the situation with Kal's eyes... Red - corruption so it's investiture from another shard. The other two are speculative but if you check out Voidbinding Solved in my signature I believe that Voidlight doesn't fuel Voidbinding, at least not by itself. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Goatbringer Posted February 19, 2021 Author Popular Post Report Share Posted February 19, 2021 Ladies and gentlemen – this is it. This is the final post that we’ll have in this thread for the next… three years? Ah, Idos Domi! What a long time to wait! Kelek’s breath! Well, either way, you know the old saying – something about the journey being the good part? Like, it comes before the place you get to? Ah I forget it. Either way. Here’s Mrs. Goatbringer’s final thoughts on Rhythm of War! -- ME: *reading along normally* “Which master-” TAY: Witch master? COOL! What an awesome title! Like the Witcher, but the WITCH-MASTER! ME: No… like, ‘which master do you serve’? There are many potential masters, so which one? TAY: Oh. *Pauses* TAY: I like mine better. -- *Navani thinking to herself about what Jasnah would do if she was trapped in a horrible situation* TAY: What would Jasnah do? Navani, you spent the last three books complaining about your daughter and now you’ve got some respect for her? -- TAY: What if singers are tone deaf? ME: You know… I have absolutely no idea. -- *After Navani shows Raboniel how to make anti-Voidlight and she then uses it to make anti-Stormlight, lying to Navani* TAY: Make this meme: -- *The High Judge and Restares is revealed to be Kelek* TAY: Kelek! He will teach us bronze! I’ve been waiting for him! -- TAY: Oooh, Shallan’s got a magic axe. ME: It’s a dagger. Were you even listening? *pause* TAY: Maybe not. -- TAY: So she kills Restares, then Lightweaves the trial in Adolin’s favour? She’s getting all she wants in one fell swoop! *pause* TAY: Heh. Swoop. Because Mraize has chickens. -- *Talking about the Contest of Champions* TAY: Oh man, is this going to be like Bridgerton? With its duels and sexy, sexy testosterone? -- TAY: I think Navani and Raboniel are sapiosexual for each other. Calling it. Leave your war criminal husband, Navani! -- *no prompting* TAY: Kaladin is just too good for Dalinar. -- ME: You know that people are kind of disappointed that you don’t use the nicknames for the characters anymore? TAY: It will make them feel better that it took me four separate thousand-page books to get these names right. -- TAY: Wait, why aren’t we making these nerds pay to listen to my reactions? This should be a Patreon. Or an OnlyFans. ME: “OnlySafehands”. TAY: And I have a nice one too. -- *Raboniel describing Braize* ME: “the place is barren, devoid of life. Merely a dark sky, endless windswept crags, and a broken landscape. And a lot of souls. A lot of not particularly sane souls.” TAY: Oof, Raboniel. Why are you describing my personality? -- TAY: Navani listening to Raboniel is me watching Janelle Monae. She’s getting feelings she didn’t know she had. -- Simply noting here that Tay correctly guessed that Maya would absolve Adolin at his trial. -- TAY: So what did shart do? ME: Wait – what? TAY: Sha-art? Shnart? ME: … Sja-anat? TAY: Yeah, her. Shart. ME: Good god. -- TAY: Bow chicka-wow-wow! Roland bout to git invested with a tower! ME: Who? TAY: Roland. The listener who is Kaladin’s friend. ME: Rlain. It’s Rlain. -- TAY: *censored* you, Lirin, you *censored* piece of *censored*. -- *Quoting Venli* ME: “I’m a selfish, impotent, sorry excuse for a listener.” TAY: Hard agree. -- *You know what part* TAY: *whispers* I hate Moash. I hate him so much. -- TAY: *singing* This is where therapy would have helped you, Kaladin! -- *Kaladin has armour now* TAY: Wait, what!? ME: Kaladin just said his fourth ideal… it’s kind of the main climax of the book. TAY: Yeah no, I was building up to it but then there was a funny Tik Tok and I had to watch it. How did it happen? -- TAY: Kaladin’s like *makes ‘driving fast’ noises* on his way to becoming a radiant. He gives himself such flack but he’s done good quickly. -- TAY: What the actual *censored* is a sky burial? Do they just drop kick them into the air? -- *scene with Dalinar and Ishar* TAY: I hear you’re in need of a gonnegtion. Heh. Meyer Wolfsheim. He was the original Bondsmith. -- *Tay is a little incensed that the Windspren just become Kaladin’s armour* TAY: Honk honk honk! You can become a shield for Kaladin now! -- TAY: I am very upset about this whole “Navani being a Bondsmith” thing. -- *Moash in the room with Navani* TAY: Navani, murder this *censored*. -- ME: "Journey before destination, you bastard." TAY: Okay, that was pretty hardcore. -- *reading some part* ME: “I can barely make sense of what you said.” TAY: Me, reading this book. -- TAY: Hah! Man, I am here for a sword-ninny spin-off! *pauses* ME: Are you really? Because if you are, I have some great news for you. -- *End of the book* TAY: And we are no closer to Dalinar winning back Tayla’s affection. -- *Biggest revelation Tay has had about Stormlight* TAY: Wait – crem isn’t poop? From cremlings? ME: What? No, crem is like, liquid rock that is dumped by the Highstorms. You thought it was… poo? TAY: … yes? ME: For four books. TAY: In my defence, crem is said a lot and in most of those contexts, it could be referring to poop. The crem is poop from cremlings and they’re like pidgeons so they poop a lot! ME: *stares into the camera* TAY: Why did you like ‘crem before cremlings’ then? If it’s not like ‘poop before poopers’? -- *Kaladin’s healed scars* TAY: Hah. Slaveboi got botox and a retinol peel. -- Tayla’s big desire for book five: Adolin gets treated with some damn respect from Dalinar for once, and he awakens Maya and bonds her. -- And there you have it, cremlings! (her catchphrase takes on a whole new meaning now, doesn’t it?) We have come to the end of the extant Stormlight Archive books! As hinted earlier in this post, Tay might have a listen to Warbreaker at some point, but we’re not going to jump in now. Most of our reading happens at bedtime, so she wants to listen to something that she’s not necessarily going to lose sleep over if she sleeps through it (did I pick a bad expression there?) So, we’re reading The Wheel of Time, the book series that actually caused us to first meet – but that’s a story for another time and another message board. Maybe we’ll see you for some novellas, maybe not, but either way, we’ll see ya in 2023 for book five. And remember: Crem before cremlings. -- BONUS: *Tay reading this thread* TAY: Haha! Man, I’m hilarious! 24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spren of Kindness Posted February 19, 2021 Report Share Posted February 19, 2021 2 hours ago, Goatbringer said: TAY: What the actual *censored* is a sky burial? Do they just drop kick them into the air? I believe a sky burial is when you simply leave the body for the elements and animals to dispose of. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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