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Taln Facts


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Taln invited Odium to Roshar for a fair fight

Odium needed Taln's permission before shattering Honor

Taln invented popcorn so he could have something to eat while watching the desolation

the only reason Roshar still exists is because Taln hasn't given the highstorms permission to destroy it

the shattering happened because Taln had a hangover (long story)

Taln made Kelsier lose his God complex

Taln's smile broke half the fused

Taln created cultivation's perpendicularity because he wanted to give tana'kai a place for the night

Brandon wrote the Cosnmere only so he could tell us about the power of Taln

Taln's whistling created the Dawncities

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Taln intentionally went insane to give Odium a chance.

Hoid became the kings Wit and the Emperors Fool because he wants t be Taln's Court jester.

Taln got a nosebleed at midnight, the drop of blood now wants to destroy evil.

Taln let the desolation start again, because if he didn't Braze would break beneath his muscular weight.

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The only reason that Fleet beat the Storm was that Taln growled at him.

Dawnshard is just another word for Taln's fist.

Taln made Reshi greatshells because he wanted some nice lapdogs.

Taln gives the Nightwatcher a boon and a bane.

Taln made fire stick.

Adonalsium made Roshar in an attempt to make Taln seem small. It didn't work.

Taln can out-eat Lift.

Ruin was created to be Taln's trash can.

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Taln once visited Scadrial. While most believe that Taln's impact created the Elendel Basin, the truth is that the basin was created by Scadrial trying to shy away from Taln. It could do this only because Taln found the pure terror of Scadrial amusing.

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The purelake is pure because Taln scared everything else out of it.

Taln lift's Iron compounders because nothing else can get heavy enough to challenge him.

Aluminum is Taln's power he condensed and separated from himself so people could look at him without dying.

Taln races Steel compounders so they don't get overconfident.

Taln fights pewter compounders because they can hit back.

 

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On 2/2/2020 at 8:36 AM, Toaster Retribution said:

Sooo, I have wondered for a while which character is the Cosmere Chuck Norris. And I have reached the conclusion that it can only be Taln. After all, he is... well, Taln. But we obviously need to write down all his incredible facts: I’ll start: 

*The Oathpact was really between Honor and Taln. The other Heralds were only there because Taln didnt want more than one Honorblade. 

*Nohadon is Talns pen name. 

*Taln once tried tossing a chasmfiend to see how far it would go. Its impact on a nearby planet caused the Cataclysm of Ashyn. 

*Honor was Talns hype-man. 

*Taln knows everything about Vax. 

*Taln doesnt like rain, and decided to spend five minutes to build a small shed to stay in while the Highstorms passed. Humans found it and named it Urithiru. 

*Taln once got hit by lightning in a storm. He hit the lightning in return, and the storm got so traumatized that it needed two weeks vacation every year. This how the Weeping was created. 

Whoa! #7 blew my mind!!!

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The Heralds didn't abandon Taln, Taln abandoned the Heralds.

Taln doesnt pay taxes.

Taln doesn't need toilet paper, he's got Roshar.

Taln once bonded all the Spren.

Odium really really wants to be friends with Taln. Everything he's done since he became a Shard was to impress Taln. Taln isn't impressed..

All of Hoids stories are about Taln.

Ash isn't in love with Taln. She's in love with the idea of Taln.

Taln once farted and created Investiture.

Taln can slam a revolving door.!

Brandon Sanderson is a figment of Taln's imagination.

WOT for fun!

Spoiler

Taln was originally the hero of WOT. The story was 3 pages long.

Taln spat in Sightblinder's eye!

!~ HIF ~!

Edited by Hoids Imaginary Friend
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  • 3 weeks later...

The girl who looked up actually didn't do anything to summon the Highstorm, it was just running from Taln.

Honor made Taln a Herald because he thought it would make him look better than Taln. It didn't work.

Cultivation is Adonalsium's failed attempt to make a better gardener than Taln.

When Taln goes to Elantris, the Dor draws on HIM.

When Taln burned some random metals, it gave 0.00000000001% of his power to Leras. Thus Preservation was created.

Odium was created when Taln woke up with a headache.

Somebody once managed to spike out a minuscule fraction of Taln's frustration with life. That guy's name was Ati.

Devotion is just the first person to see Taln and live.

Taln made Honor so that he could have a honest sidekick.

Autonomy was created when Taln told Bavadin to "go do whatever you want."

Taln made Endowment so that he could get a tax refund.

Dominion was the product of Taln handing Skai a crown that they dropped.

Ambition was created because Uli Da wanted to be like Taln.

Kaladin was born because Lirin pulled a splinter out of Taln's toe, and Taln told him that he hoped Lirin would have a good son to carry on his legacy.

Ambition was splintered because Taln got tired of people trying to kill him. It was really annoying to clean up the splatters they made when they spontaneously combusted.

Stick is actually a piece of wood from Taln's chair.

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