Can I have some advice on writing an OP character that's still interesting?

[TheMothLord]

ok so, I have a character (his name is Sage Myllen) who has powers of summoning and vanishing, and there is (almost) no limit to what his magic can summon/vanish (yes, he does magic like, 'is this your card, etc'). I've added a weakness, but it still feels a bit to OP (probably because of the fact the weakness hinges on one of his character traits). If Sage uses too much of his powers, it seriously injures and possibly kills every living thing in a five-foot radius, excluding himself, things too small to see, and anyone he's touching (and no, you can't make a human chain. It needs to be direct contact), this is a problem to him because he's a pacifist, and literally refuses to hurt a fly. I know the amount of magic he has to use to "turn on" the murder magic, but he doesn't, and it (figuratively) drives him crazy the whole story. I'm just wondering if there is anything I should add/subtract to make it so that if he's still not too OP, or if there are any critiques you have of the character.

[Xardan Ta'Caran]

So I have a question or two.

First and foremost, does he have to have held or observed the object before being able to summon it or is it more like "I want this thing" so the universe creates it and sends it to him?

Second, how far does the "death circle" reach? Meaning does it reach only sentient beings (including insects and such) or does it go all the way to the atomic level? Could he use his power to remove harmful bacteria in the food he's about to eat kind of a thing?

Either way, I think these powers are not too overpowered so far (but that will depend somewhat on the answers to the above questions). The key to any story is balance. As long as others have powers very similar in scale to his, you should be good to go. If they don't, then there should be a (semi) logical reason why he has powers nobody else does.

I also want to point out that character traits being the weakness to his powers is a great idea. There doesn't always need to be a specific physical weakness to every power. Sometimes they just don't exist. Character weaknesses then become the bread and butter of how you can balance powers like this.

[TheMothLord]

 

 

 

 

1 hour ago, Xardan Ta'Caran said:

First and foremost, does he have to have held or observed the object before being able to summon it or is it more like "I want this thing" so the universe creates it and sends it to him?

short answer: just need to know what the thing is, and how to describe it. Long answer: he’s kinda just like is like “void give me this thing” and the universe just yeets at him. It’s kind of confusing, i’ll explain the magic system later, but without too much explanation my world has this “in-between space” and the deity thing that lives there is a hoarder. 

 

 

 

 

1 hour ago, Xardan Ta'Caran said:

Second, how far does the "death circle" reach? Meaning does it reach only sentient beings (including insects and such) or does it go all the way to the atomic level? Could he use his power to remove harmful bacteria in the food he's about to eat kind of a thing?

the circle of murder-death stops at about a fruitfly because he has absolutely no idea how to make it not like that (he’s not the sharpest crayon in the box). Yes, he can concentrate it to go to smaller things and smaller distances, he just hasn’t figured it out yet.

[Xardan Ta'Caran]

5 minutes ago, The Dude That Wore White said:

the circle of murder-death stops at about a fruitfly because he has absolutely no idea how to make it not like that (he’s not the sharpest crayon in the box). Yes, he can concentrate it to go to smaller things and smaller distances, he just hasn’t figured it out yet.

I just want to make sure we're on the same page here. So he can choose how small of organisms are killed in his "backlash?" I assumed it was just an inherent side effect of using the power. 

I figured the summon/vanish effect was limited to a size that he could see because of normal human stuff, but wanted to know how the backlash portion worked.

[TheMothLord]

he can theoretically choose, he just has no idea how and it can backfire severely

[Xardan Ta'Caran]

Gotcha. Just wanted to verify.

This sounds like an incredible start to a story. I look forward to hearing more, but I don't think you've gone too overpowered with your character. He could be incredibly intriguing and I look forward to reading more about him!

[Kureshi Ironclaw]

A general rule of thumb for powerful characters is to have them face problems in the story that they can't solve using their power. I like the internal conflict of the character being a pacifist and I think you could use that to artificially create problems for him to face. Just be wary because some readers may disagree with the character's moral platitudes and get annoyed if he constantly refuses to use his powers to solve simple problems at the expense of killing a few small animals or whatever. Ultimately the conflict could be used to great dramatic effect if you use it to force the character to question his own morality; the obvious eventuality being something like a Trolley Problem.

[Lunu’anaki]

Honestly I think you've got enough of a weakness here to go off of. I'm not sure what your intent is for this character, but as long as his powers are far from common and as long as you show how much the backlash/pacifism messes him up and causes problems for him you should be good to go. It actually sounds like a very interesting duality.

If he's a side character it might be really interesting to write a short story about him having to face and defeat someone with his exact same power-set, who has none of his qualms about killing. At the very least it would be a good exercise for you to develop him as a character and to play out just how terrifying he could be without his personality and ideals. It might also be a great way to address any power level issues you feel you've set up with his abilities. Maybe he discovered that someone else had his powers and ever since has devoted himself to ensuring that noone else ever discover the power, because he's seen the devastation it could cause.

 

[Yezrien]

I think the first step is to determine whether he really is OP in the context of the story. OP isn't an innate trait in a character, it's context-dependent. In a story about stopping ordinary bank robbers, Superman is OP. In a story about fighting cosmic superbeings, not so much. Using internal conflict as a character weakness only works if that's the main conflict of the story. See Lois & Clark, where Superman mostly dealt with relationship problems, which he is no better equipped for than a normal human.

To help with this character, we need to know the plot. What is the main problem that Sage Myllen has to solve? And what are you doing to make it hard for him?

(I'm concerned that the weakness isn't really a weakness because it's very easy to overcome. How hard is it to make sure there are no living things in a five-foot radius?)