Archer Posted October 21, 2019 Report Share Posted October 21, 2019 As you may know, Kazan Smedry, motivated solely by a desire to objectively and rationally study the implications of height on an individual’s ability to function in their communities and society as a whole, has compiled a collection of observations from his extensive scientific research into the nature of persons of comparatively diminutive stature as opposed to their taller counterparts. His list of reasons ‘why shorter people are better off than tall people’ is a landmark theorem in the totally legitimate field of ‘wee folk’ studies. Alas, while we know of some of the entries (noted below), the Librarians have successfully concealed much of Kaz’s research from us seekers of knowledge here in the Hushlands (likely because of their affinity for heeled shoes and other such height manipulating devices. I'm looking at you, stilts). This censorship is outrageous! I call upon you, enlightened rebels of the Shard, to help me crowd-source the rest of the reasons on Kazan’s List, to break through this realm's awful haze of tallness propaganda. The List (So Far): 1. Don't argue with the short person. He's always right. 15. Short people make smaller targets. 28. Short people can find things easier and follow trails better because they are closer to the ground. 47. Tall people's heads are in thinner atmosphere, causing oxygen deprivation, which causes their brains to not work as well as short people's. 56.5. Short people know when to stay on the ground (and avoid scary extreme heights). 63. If everyone were short, ceilings could be lower, thereby lowering building costs. 82. When short people plummet to their doom, they don't fall as far. 127. Short people have smaller bodies, but regular-sized hearts, so their heart-to-flesh ratio is larger, making them more compassionate. Possibly 144. Short people are better because it takes them longer to walk places, therefore they get more exercise. 236. Short people are more humble. 257. A tall person can shield you from dragon breath. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AonEne Posted October 22, 2019 Report Share Posted October 22, 2019 Archer! *slams a paper to the table, gasping for breath* They’re after me, I - pant pant - barely got this one away from them. Broke my last pair of Redactor’s Lenses stealing it. *drops unconscious to the floor* Rule Two: Short people can fit in more places in hide-and-seek. Quote Assuming we’re going in order, using the existing ones as benchmarks 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
not an Evil Librarian Posted October 23, 2019 Report Share Posted October 23, 2019 The problem with this post and Kaz's list in general is that tall people are objectively superior to short people. Spoiler This has nothing to do with the fact that I am 6'2", it's simply the truth. Just like how younger siblings simply exist to serve the oldest sibling Spoiler Again, this has nothing to do with the fact that I am the oldest sibling. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archer Posted October 23, 2019 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2019 *all the short people in the room huddle in a circle and whisper in soft tones for a few moments* "Sure you are, mate. We believe you! This had nothing to do with the fact that entry 236 prevents us from properly arguing with you about this." *someone in the huddle coughs* "Mention Reason 221!" "What, that tall people have larger lungs so they always seem to produce more hot air? Shhh, we're trying to be humble, WINK." Spoiler As a fellow tall person, I'm inclined to agree with you, but as a middle child, YOU MUST PAY FOR THIS INSULT! BRING FORTH THE LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE PAPERBACKS! 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silva Posted October 28, 2019 Report Share Posted October 28, 2019 I didn't find any completely new ones, but here are some more parts of 63 that were cut off. 63.1. Their clothing needs less fabric. Also cheaper. 63.7. They can use shorter beds, too. Tall people kill more trees. There were a few more that I spotted--the Librarians stuck them on the top shelf, out of reach, though!!! And they weren't even considerate enough to leave a step-stool nearby! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMothLord Posted November 14, 2019 Report Share Posted November 14, 2019 3: short people can follow through on the threat to steal your kneecaps more effectively 4: short people can manipulate their way into most situations because people refer to them as "small bean," or "beautiful cinnamon bun, too good for this world, too pure" whenever they enter a room thereby making it easier to get what they want 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Ark1002 Posted November 18, 2019 Report Share Posted November 18, 2019 On 10/22/2019 at 7:31 PM, not an Evil Librarian said: The problem with this post and Kaz's list in general is that tall people are objectively superior to short people. Hide contents This has nothing to do with the fact that I am 6'2", it's simply the truth. Just like how younger siblings simply exist to serve the oldest sibling Hide contents Again, this has nothing to do with the fact that I am the oldest sibling. Ah, good man. All of your statements here are true. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Woodrack Posted November 19, 2019 Report Share Posted November 19, 2019 The little sibling thing was totally untrue. Little siblings do not exist to serve older siblings. Dumb siblings exist to serve intelligent siblings. 16. Small people can wriggle out of grapples easier. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mushroom Catalog Posted November 19, 2019 Report Share Posted November 19, 2019 11 hours ago, Ookla the Wine Shelf said: The little sibling thing was totally untrue. Little siblings do not exist to serve older siblings. Dumb siblings exist to serve intelligent siblings. Not just because the older sibling usually happens to be the more intelligent 17. Short people can jump a higher percentage of their height because they have less mass to propel 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AonEne Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 25: The teacher is less likely to call on a short person because their hands aren’t raised as high. You can get away with not saying things! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gak Posted October 22, 2020 Report Share Posted October 22, 2020 after months of research and much time posing as a potted plant i have i have located four more. 5. short people need less food because they need less power. 6. short people are harder to knock down because of their lower center of gravity. 7. short people can ride more mounts because they weigh less. 8. short people can pretend to be tall, but tall people can't pretend to be short. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmulatonStromenkiin Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 Everyone is short when compared to Olympus Mons, and if you are not, where did you get the massive amount of material required to create even a cell phone for you to post on this? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kandrafish Posted February 3, 2022 Report Share Posted February 3, 2022 258. Short people, like smaller dogs and smaller stars, empirically live longer. 259. Short people's have less body mass to heat and less surface area to heat so they are resistant to the cold. 260. Short people fall over less often because they are closer to the ground and can see it more clearly. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AonEne Posted February 3, 2022 Report Share Posted February 3, 2022 10 hours ago, Kandrafish said: 259. Short people's have less body mass to heat and less surface area to heat so they are resistant to the cold. As a short person who is always cold, I think this means I logically don't exist... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmulatonStromenkiin Posted February 26, 2022 Report Share Posted February 26, 2022 On 2/3/2022 at 9:41 AM, AonEne said: As a short person who is always cold, I think this means I logically don't exist... The reason just says that you're resistant, not immune. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaidakar the Ghostblood Posted March 1, 2022 Report Share Posted March 1, 2022 On 10/22/2019 at 7:31 PM, not an Evil Librarian said: The problem with this post and Kaz's list in general is that tall people are objectively superior to short people. Hide contents This has nothing to do with the fact that I am 6'2", it's simply the truth. Just like how younger siblings simply exist to serve the oldest sibling Reveal hidden contents Again, this has nothing to do with the fact that I am the oldest sibling. these are true statements, as an oldest sibling I must agree. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ookla of Colors Posted March 1, 2022 Report Share Posted March 1, 2022 On 10/21/2019 at 7:20 PM, Archer said: 56.5. Short people know when to stay on the ground (and avoid scary extreme heights). I think this may be false for me... just maybe... ... ... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirLanz-a-lot Posted May 3, 2022 Report Share Posted May 3, 2022 126. Short people have a bigger brain to flesh ratio as tall people, which makes their intelligence density higher and therefore more genius (and not denser!). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirLanz-a-lot Posted June 9, 2022 Report Share Posted June 9, 2022 (edited) 81. If Eve and Adam would have been short, they couldn't have reached the fruit and everyone would still live in Eden. (Of course, this one doesn't really work, because religions aren't introduced of being part of the series. Maybe except for Librarian cults.) Edited June 9, 2022 by SirLanz-a-lot 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmulatonStromenkiin Posted June 9, 2022 Report Share Posted June 9, 2022 4 hours ago, SirLanz-a-lot said: 81. If Eve and Adam would have been short, they couldn't have reached the fruit and everyone would still live in Eden. (Of course, this one doesn't really work, because religions aren't introduced of being part of the series. Maybe except for Librarian cults.) It works fine, The point that it is brought up is when Alcatraz jokes about it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcatraz Fan #394 Posted June 9, 2022 Report Share Posted June 9, 2022 Napoleon Bonaparte would love this list!!! Napoleon: Pay your taxes! Villager: Why? Napoleon: Rule number 1, never argue with a short person. I am always right!!!!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmulatonStromenkiin Posted June 10, 2022 Report Share Posted June 10, 2022 Napoleon wasn't actually short, though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcatraz Fan #394 Posted June 11, 2022 Report Share Posted June 11, 2022 I know he was actually tall for his time, but every single movie makes fun of him for being short. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Isochronism Posted October 2, 2022 Report Share Posted October 2, 2022 18. Short people provide work for stool manufacturers. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medium Posted October 7, 2022 Report Share Posted October 7, 2022 Pi. short people need less force to pump blood to their brains, and so they're better at math. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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