TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted June 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 (edited) Where did Weird Al Yankovic fit into the whole Epic dystopia, I wonder? Was he executed for writing "Total Slip of Steelheart" (an 80s inspired ballad about Newcago's dictator dying from an undignified slip in the bathtub)? Or was he spared for quickly penning "Faultline, Apologize" (about all the reasons why Faultline should not have rebelled?) Edited June 28, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pathfinder Posted June 30, 2014 Report Share Posted June 30, 2014 Where did Weird Al Yankovic fit into the whole Epic dystopia, I wonder? Was he executed for writing "Total Slip of Steelheart" (an 80s inspired ballad about Newcago's dictator dying from an undignified slip in the bathtub)? Or was he spared for quickly penning "Faultline, Apologize" (about all the reasons why Faultline should not have rebelled?) Unbeknownst to all, Weird Al Yankovic is actually Mitosis's original identity...... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted June 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2014 But....but where was his accordion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted July 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2014 This guy was an Epic before it was cool. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edgedancer Posted July 2, 2014 Report Share Posted July 2, 2014 We at Apparature science are happy to announce our new testing program for Epics. With the help of prime invincibilitys we could reduce the mortality rate to under laughable 7.856%. Apperature science does not gurantee that an Epic´s weakness might not be tested. Thanks to these brave men and women we managed to significantly advance science. Special thanks to Ros "Hoid" Scar, who helped making Cave Johnsons multiverse scam a crashing success. Don´t tell this to the other worlds though, the law suits could hamper our progress in science. Finally, we would like to announce that all Epics participating in our testing are given free cake. This cake is not a lie. It is most certainly real. "So why do you think Steelheart had us set up fake propaganda to make everyone even more afraid of him?" "I´m sure the great one has his reasons." "Do you think it might be connected to his weakness?""You Slontz, he has super hearing!" *Laserbeam* "Oh great..... Discokiller, are you certain you want to take over the world?" "Of course!" 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted July 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2014 "I killed disco, I can kill you too!" *whispered* "Hey, Jim, do you think we should tell her disco was already dead?" "No, Frank, let her have this." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edgedancer Posted July 2, 2014 Report Share Posted July 2, 2014 "I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the Epic that stole your sun! I am.... DARK.... Nightwielder!" 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted July 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2014 "I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the Epic that stole your sun! I am.... DARK.... Nightwielder!" Wait a minute….so if Nightwielder is Reckonersverse Batman…..does that mean there's a Reckonersverse Joker somewhere? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pathfinder Posted July 2, 2014 Report Share Posted July 2, 2014 Wait a minute….so if Nightwielder is Reckonersverse Batman…..does that mean there's a Reckonersverse Joker somewhere? That would be David, with his epic power being his horrible metaphors actually being the joker's puns 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted July 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2014 That would be David, with his epic power being his horrible metaphors actually being the joker's puns So we're in one of those mirror universes, where good characters are evil and evil characters are good. Which would make sense, because Steelheart is obviously evil!Superman. That would also explain Megan's neutrality: She's actually Catwoman, and since the writers could never decide whether she was evil or good, she can't decide either. Does that mean Curveball is Mirrorverse Spiderman? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pathfinder Posted July 2, 2014 Report Share Posted July 2, 2014 So we're in one of those mirror universes, where good characters are evil and evil characters are good. Which would make sense, because Steelheart is obviously evil!Superman. That would also explain Megan's neutrality: She's actually Catwoman, and since the writers could never decide whether she was evil or good, she can't decide either. Does that mean Curveball is Mirrorverse Spiderman? I think Curveball might fit Hawkeye more so. It HAS to be an epic power to have seemingly unlimited arrows in which to fire upon his foes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted July 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2014 I think Curveball might fit Hawkeye more so. It HAS to be an epic power to have seemingly unlimited arrows in which to fire upon his foes. Which would also explain why none of the other Epics really liked him much. Why Iron Man doesn't ask for help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edgedancer Posted July 6, 2014 Report Share Posted July 6, 2014 David: I´m still trying to figure out why some Epics have powers that go as well together as fishfingers and custard. Cody: What are you talking about? D: Well, you know fishfingers and custard are kinds of food and you wouldn´t eat them together but appareantly some people still do? C: I have no clue what kind of sea fairy crawled into your skull for that idea but I meant the Epic powers not matching each other. D: They just don´t. I mean look at Steelheart. How does turning things into steel, control over the wind and energybeams go together? C: Easy. Some after-Calamity teen like you might not remember the man of Steel but Steelheart was an Superman-cosplay Epic. Give me something harder. D: Cosplay? Anyway, what about Prof. C: Teacher Epic, physics I would guess. Gifting for teaching, protection field and healing for a teacher´s pedagogical love and the tensor comes from the feeling you have in your skull after a good lecture. Next. D:Megan? C: She´s tricky. Illusions are all about apearance, so she can make people think better about her than they should and make it seem as if she always gets random new powers. Resurection means that she survives even if she really really should die. Overall, I would put her as an Mery Sue Epic. D: Mary Sue? C: Yes, you really should rethink your releationship. D: I...we...what!? C: Anyway, even random Epics like Curveball have a theme. He´s an action movie Epic. D: Why would there be an action movie Epic? C: I dunno but that´s what god told me. (Brandon did create Curveball as an shout out to action movies.) 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kobold King Posted July 6, 2014 Report Share Posted July 6, 2014 ^ Upvote for fishfingers and custard. ^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pathfinder Posted July 7, 2014 Report Share Posted July 7, 2014 David: I´m still trying to figure out why some Epics have powers that go as well together as fishfingers and custard. Cody: What are you talking about? D: Well, you know fishfingers and custard are kinds of food and you wouldn´t eat them together but appareantly some people still do? C: I have no clue what kind of sea fairy crawled into your skull for that idea but I meant the Epic powers not matching each other. D: They just don´t. I mean look at Steelheart. How does turning things into steel, control over the wind and energybeams go together? C: Easy. Some after-Calamity teen like you might not remember the man of Steel but Steelheart was an Superman-cosplay Epic. Give me something harder. D: Cosplay? Anyway, what about Prof. C: Teacher Epic, physics I would guess. Gifting for teaching, protection field and healing for a teacher´s pedagogical love and the tensor comes from the feeling you have in your skull after a good lecture. Next. D:Megan? C: She´s tricky. Illusions are all about apearance, so she can make people think better about her than they should and make it seem as if she always gets random new powers. Resurection means that she survives even if she really really should die. Overall, I would put her as an Mery Sue Epic. D: Mary Sue? C: Yes, you really should rethink your releationship. D: I...we...what!? C: Anyway, even random Epics like Curveball have a theme. He´s an action movie Epic. D: Why would there be an action movie Epic? C: I dunno but that´s what god told me. (Brandon did create Curveball as an shout out to action movies.) Conflux was a lazy couch potato that couldn't stand to get up to change the channel and was sick of having to change the batteries in the remote. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted July 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2014 Conflux was a lazy couch potato that couldn't stand to get up to change the channel and was sick of having to change the batteries in the remote. Moral of the story: Couch potatoes may not inherit the earth, but they are some of the nicest people you will ever meet. Don't kill them if and when the apocalypse hits. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pathfinder Posted July 7, 2014 Report Share Posted July 7, 2014 Moral of the story: Couch potatoes may not inherit the earth, but they are some of the nicest people you will ever meet. Don't kill them if and when the apocalypse hits. Just have to make sure they have unlimited access to cable. As to Nightwielder, I think I heard he was an industrial goth, who loved to go to bondage parties. Blocking out the sun, check. Attacking shadow tentacles, check. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted July 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2014 Just have to make sure they have unlimited access to cable. As to Nightwielder, I think I heard he was an industrial goth, who loved to go to bondage parties. Blocking out the sun, check. Attacking shadow tentacles, check. Moral of THIS story: Um....stay away from goth kids? Or is it that when the apocalypse hits, goth kids will get the coolest powers? Or....uh.....don't eat garlic while staring at that weird red star or you'll always smell like that when you use your powers? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pathfinder Posted July 7, 2014 Report Share Posted July 7, 2014 Moral of THIS story: Um....stay away from goth kids? Or is it that when the apocalypse hits, goth kids will get the coolest powers? Or....uh.....don't eat garlic while staring at that weird red star or you'll always smell like that when you use your powers? Moral of the story, Goth kids don't sparkle in sunlight, they burn. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted July 7, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2014 Moral of the story, Goth kids don't sparkle in sunlight, they burn. But as long as they're in the dark, they're practically immortal. Why do you think Hot Topic is so poorly lit? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts