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Stuff that Must Have Happened


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"Few people have seen a High Epic in their glory. Fewer still have seen the glory of an Epic who is high." 

 

TwiLyghtSansSparkles... Y U no post in Cosmere puns thread?!?1?

 

(If I had an upvote left, it would be yours. Expect your rep to have +1 sometime in the next hour or so.)

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I wonder if Steelheart when he came to power banned all movies and comic books associated with Superman. Don't want the rabble getting any ideas that might result in them not fearing him enough, especially when they seem to use superman's crest as their symbol. 

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A man walks up to a lecture with a crowd gathered below him

 

Greetings proud members of Newcago, thank you for coming to this speech were it is our honor to introduce our humble (snicker) charitable (snicker) emperor. (Burst out loud laughing) Sorry, sorry I couldn't keep a straight face

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I wonder if Steelheart when he came to power banned all movies and comic books associated with Superman. Don't want the rabble getting any ideas that might result in them not fearing him enough, especially when they seem to use superman's crest as their symbol. 

 

All except Man of Steel, probably. I'd imagine Steelheart would be rather fond of a movie where Supes defeats his first villain by breaking his neck. :P

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All except Man of Steel, probably. I'd imagine Steelheart would be rather fond of a movie where Supes defeats his first villain by breaking his neck. :P

nah, i think he would be PISSED. the main character (in his mind), who espoused everything steelheart represents (Zod), got killed by a peace loving hippie? never!

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nah, i think he would be PISSED. the main character (in his mind), who espoused everything steelheart represents (Zod), got killed by a peace loving hippie? never!

 

This is true. Still, said hippie did let thousands of innocent people die, so Steelheart might enjoy that aspect. "See, proles? Even if you DO get a hero, he'll have to kill thousands of you just to take me down! Screw you, proles!" 

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I think steel heart would rewrite superman (and all other superheroes) as a villain. Have all old comics movies and cartoons rewritten to portray them how epics were viewed. All fights between the justice league and villains would become turf wars. all the times batman (who would become an epic) beet up a small time gang it was a epic taking power out of humans hands. In fact all Superheros would probably have a huge remake. All people like batman green-arrow and humans would either be redone as epics or straight up destroyed because letting humans think they might be equal with epics would be a big no no

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I think steel heart would rewrite superman (and all other superheroes) as a villain. Have all old comics movies and cartoons rewritten to portray them how epics were viewed. All fights between the justice league and villains would become turf wars. all the times batman (who would become an epic) beet up a small time gang it was a epic taking power out of humans hands. In fact all Superheros would probably have a huge remake. All people like batman green-arrow and humans would either be redone as epics or straight up destroyed because letting humans think they might be equal with epics would be a big no no

 

Please tell me they'd give Power Girl a better (read: non-cleavage-focused) costume. 

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Please tell me they'd give Power Girl a better (read: non-cleavage-focused) costume. 

Technically there is a better Power Girl costume, it's Supergirl (though the short skirt i never thought was necessary). Power Girl is an alternate reality version of Supergirl, though I never did understand why another reality equates to over-sexualized cleavage. The supposed excuse (that she chose the "absence" of a symbol) was even more ridiculous. Sorry mini nerd rant. 

 

edit:oh! and apparently an alternate reality also means your chest grows 10 times in size. Total logic lol

Edited by Pathfinder
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Technically there is a better Power Girl costume, it's Supergirl (though the short skirt i never thought was necessary). Power Girl is an alternate reality version of Supergirl, though I never did understand why another reality equates to over-sexualized cleavage. The supposed excuse (that she chose the "absence" of a symbol) was even more ridiculous. Sorry mini nerd rant. 

 

edit:oh! and apparently an alternate reality also means your chest grows 10 times in size. Total logic lol

 

Unless it's because it's an alternate reality where female superheroes are powered by cleavage, in which case we're not in Kansas anymore, and we've got weirder problems to contend with. 

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Unless it's because it's an alternate reality where female superheroes are powered by cleavage, in which case we're not in Kansas anymore, and we've got weirder problems to contend with. 

That may very well be the world of steelheart. I mean consider, every epic described (except I think Prof and Conflux), are decked out physically. If I recall correctly both Deathpoint and Steelhearts chest's were practically bursting from their clothes. Maybe Steelheart wouldn't have had to worry as much about people fearing him if he flashed a little skin. In fact maybe people heard the name of the red star incorrectly. It is not "the calamity" it is "the cleavage". 

 

edit: given that tone is sometimes difficult to carry over into the written word, all above is said satirical naturally lol. 

Edited by Pathfinder
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That may very well be the world of steelheart. I mean consider, every epic described (except I think Prof and Conflux), are decked out physically. If I recall correctly both Deathpoint and Steelhearts chest's were practically bursting from their clothes. Maybe Steelheart wouldn't have had to worry as much about people fearing him if he flashed a little skin. In fact maybe people heard the name of the red star incorrectly. It is not "the calamity" it is "the cleavage". 

 

edit: given that tone is sometimes difficult to carry over into the written word, all above is said satirical naturally lol. 

 

Oh, man. Between that and the explosions, Michael Bay is going to have a field day with that script. 

 

And my motto on the Internet is "Always satire until proven serious." I'm from the Northwest. Sarcasm is my native language. 

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Oh, man. Between that and the explosions, Michael Bay is going to have a field day with that script. 

 

And my motto on the Internet is "Always satire until proven serious." I'm from the Northwest. Sarcasm is my native language. 

Yeah but we are just missing two things. First a giant american flag flashed on the screen every 2 seconds, and second "FREEDOM", theeeeeen it'll be fully Michael Bay. 

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