TwiLyghtSansSparkles

Stuff that Must Have Happened

120 posts in this topic

So it occurred to me the other day that there is a good bit of stuff that must have happened, either in the book or prior to it. For instance: 

 

Attn.: All Taco Bell Customers and Employees (Chicago area)

RE: West Addison 

Memo: We at Taco Bell are proud to serve humans and Epics alike. Our customer service specialists welcome our superpowered friends, and are always happy to serve them quality food at a great price. 

However, Epics are human, or might have been at some point (we won't get into the arguments—we're here to make tacos!) and so they make mistakes. Which is okay! 

Still, some mistakes are bigger than others. Some mistakes lead to breakups. Some lead to cliched misunderstandings. Some lead to thousands of dollars worth of damages to Taco Bell premises and property, which means our West Addison location will have to close for a few weeks while they fix up. To keep this from happening again (and to allow us to keep serving you great food at great prices) we ask that the Epic known as Deathpoint please avoid all specials on burritos and refried beans. 

Also, Deathpoint, you might want to see a doctor. Seriously, man. That ain't right. 

 

Any other things that must have happened? 

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

in some board meeting somewhere

 

"Jonson we are not making Steelheart action figures"

"But boss, they would sell like hotcakes"

"NO!, our emperor demanded tiny lifelike colored statues, not girly action figures."

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"But what about my little girl? She wants a Steelheart doll." 

*gasp* "They are NOT dolls!" 

"But….she wants one." 

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

About hald of the Ceo's and stockbrokers in the world.

 

Well the worlds stormed anyways. Let's cause a horrible economic disaster. Sell Sell Sell !!!!!!!

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And about half of the world's politicians, upon seeing they were about to be usurped….

 

"Whelp, we'll be a slave army by dawn. Might as well do what we've always wanted, Senator." 

"You mean strip naked with our friends across the aisle, put on George Washington masks, and race through the streets of Washington DC, demanding free ice cream from every ice cream truck we see?" 

"Quit reading my mind." 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nowtech industries would like to announce that the rumors of discrimination  against Epics in our work place. Epics our some of our greatest worker, and we have a strict not racial discrimination rule in our offices. All recent incidents of epics having been fired is simply due to the fact that they were frequent disruptions in the workplace.  This is not to say that all epics are disruptions, a recent look at the stats shows that humans have only a slightly smaller percentage of public disruptions then there gifted counterparts. We would also like t announce that why we do study epics it is with there full expressed and legal permission, and the discoveries made from theses studies have helped advance humanity.. If you are an epic and would like to help advance humanity please call the number below.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tonight, on TLC's My Big Fat Epic WeddingHeliana worries that her voice will drive her groom away. Meanwhile, Deadline grows jealous when another man looks at his wife….and cake….and shoes. Will anyone survive My Big Fat Epic Wedding? 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

An epic hiring a PR team to figure out there name, what they should were, what there catchphrase should be, and what type of crimes the should commit

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"For the last time, we are NOT calling ourselves the Epic Happytimes Team of Epic Happiness!" 

"But think of the irony! The awful surprise when people realize what you do!" 

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Hello emperor steelheart, we are the lawyers from DC comics, and we would like to sell you the rights to the superman S"

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"For free! For free! Please—please stop choking my colleague, O Great One. We'll give you the rights, how about that? Just—please—don't kill us." 

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Pink pinkish? Your not even wearing pink?... Oh my god its so painful!!!!!" I beg of you please stop.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wrestlemania just got a whole lot more interesting.

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Death-gesture? Death Finger? KIll-point............ that's it deathpoint!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Here at Disney we are not racist or powerbiast to any or all. We accept all Binders, Filters, Shifter, and other Epics alike..

 

Are new supercoaster whirldwind is powered by Whirlo a tornado Epic. Are Wavepool is the largest and best around by Typhoon.

 

We are looking for new Epic's to help us bring a interactive and fun expierence to all of our customers."

 

 

 

 

Reconers need not apply

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You gotta know that some epic, somewhere, when epics first started popping up, went through the trouble of building an evil lair, formulating a evil plan (involving laser sharks of course), and contacted the United Nations to threaten for.....:::::raises pinky finger:::: One.....MILLION....dollars.....(cue raised eyebrow)

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

….unfortunately, everyone at the UN was out to lunch on taxpayer money, so that plan wasn't very effective. 

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Hey, Steelheart, Firefight won't be coming in to work today." 

"Did she call in dead again?" 

"Yeah. Should be feeling better in a couple days." 

"This wouldn't have anything to do with that tiny grenade sale, would it?" 

"Uh….maybe?" 

Edited by TwiLyghtSansSparkles
10

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hopefully there are people out there that have seen the movie "Mom and Dad Save the World". Megan would be the only person on that planet to pick up the grenade, die, come back, and MAYBE learn from the experience. That or she would spend the rest of her existence next to that grenade lol

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Fortuity, you can't order 'extra hookers' with your meal." 

"Sure I can. Steelheart said I can have whatever I want." 

"It's Chuck E. Cheese!" 

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Steelheart renewed Firefly, ensuring a whole generation of sci-fi nerds would live in fear of him cancelling it again.

8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Steelheart renewed Firefly, ensuring a whole generation of sci-fi nerds would live in fear of him cancelling it again.

 

I'm caught between "You monster!" and "My hero!"  :mellow:

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Steelheart renewed Firefly, ensuring a whole generation of sci-fi nerds would live in fear of him cancelling it again.

 

It would explain why so many people moved to Newcago….;)

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stealheart: Why is one of my battle tanks wrecked?

solider: It was Firefight sir, she said she wanted to take it out for a spin

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Firefight, where is Nightweilder?" 

"At the convention center, sir. There's a gathering of Whovians there today." 

"Is he the one whispering 'Vashta Nerada' on the security footage?" 

"Yes, that would be him. And that would be five hundred Whovians fleeing the building in terror." 

Edited by TwiLyghtSansSparkles
6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.