Karger

Worst Singer Forms

40 posts in this topic

A while ago I joking mentioned that the singers would rebel against Odium after discovering Lawyerform.  Along with Businessform, Politicianform, and Lawyerform what are the worst possible forms for the singers to discover or invent?

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Taxform, Rantingform, Prudeform, Terminatorform.

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1 hour ago, Nathrangking said:

Taxform, Rantingform, Prudeform, Terminatorform.

The last one sounds kind of awesome.

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Actually, Lawyerform could be really handy if you happen to be a singer Radiant like Venli. Loophole-abuse your way around Ideals that you don't really like!

How about Popstarform? Gives you powers not unlike a Rioter for a short time, then you get forced to switch spren and become something like Hasbeenform or Scandalform.

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1 hour ago, RShara said:

Poopform

Is this the only form capable of this, or is this like mateform where the Singer with this form would become particularly adept at this? I could see how this would be useful if a Singer had inadvertently attuned the Rythym of Constipation.

1 hour ago, Toaster Retribution said:

Swedish Trafficplanningform. Believe me. We dont want that on Roshar.

Without direct shardic intervention this form would be doomed to fail, because clearly god-like powers would be necessary to pull off the Rosharan equivalent of Högertrafikomläggningen (the day on September 3rd, 1967 when Swedish traffic switched from driving on the left-hand of the road to the right). Given the rapid pace of developments in fabrial science, this form might be essential for the future of Roshar as the Rosharans are probably not too far out from developing self driving chull carts. I think this form was first created when a Singer accidentally bonded a brochure on the proper fastening of bicycle helmets.

Here are a couple of other awfully useful Singer forms:

Wokform: The right arm terminates in a fire resistant steep walled carapace pan, the left arm ends in a spatula, and the Singer so bonded is given the special ability to attune the Rythym of Teppanyaki and the ability to fling edible crustaceans with extreme accuracy.

Tailgate form: The Singer, after bonding an Alespren, undergoes some fairly drastic modifications to their carapace. Dual drink holder rings capable of holding two mugs of ale sprout from their head. A projection at the back of their elbow can be used as a bottle opener, and their left pinky can be used as a corkscrew. From their waist, 1 wide and 2 narrow shallow trays extend, perfect for holding chips, dip, salsa, guacamole, etc.

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Studentform. You can do whatever you want, but the spren you bonded won't stop reminding you about math homework. 

Politeform. Doesn't allow you to curse, insult someone or anything like that. 

(sorry about my English mistakes, I'm terrible at English) 

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I can’t decide which would be superior, BobRossform or MorganFreemanform. On the one hand, BobRossform would finally rid the singers of those ridiculous hair strands. Instead they would be blessed with the most majestic poofs that ever did poof. On the other hand, can you imagine an entire race that spoke like Morgan Freeman?

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Shopaholicform (This led to the rise of the shopping mall craze on Roshar)

Greedform

Complainform

Usedcartsalesmanform

Grammarianform

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5 hours ago, Lunamor said:

Formform.

What does this do?

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13 minutes ago, Karger said:

What does this do?

It fills out unnecessary paperwork :P

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As an accountant, I'd be remiss if I didn't put forward accountantform. Odium could be easily defeated if you bury him in enough paperwork and red tape.

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Whinerform

BankerForm

ObligatorForm

PsychopathForm

Edited by Hoid/Wit
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I think we desperately need a therapistform for all the radiants

Edited by Paalm Tree
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@Toaster Retribution, I'm not Swedish, I just googled Swedish Traffic planning and saw that Sweden seemlessly switched from driving in Left hand lanes to right hand lanes in one day on "Hagen H", and was suitably impressed. I'm from the US, and I think we should a "Hagen M" day where we join the majority of the civilized world and switch to the metric system. I know all you anglophile purists will probably brand me as a Crypto-Socialist for trying to take away your pecks, bushels, hectacres, drams and hogsheads, but you can all take a 50 foot walk off of a 15 meter pier.

Here are some really sad Singer forms.

Waits patiently in long lines form. Usually attunes the Rythym of Easy Listening.

Gets quite uncomfortable in elevators and around large axehounds form. Pretty specific form, not used very often.

Can fart with their armpits form, used mostly by adolescent Singers.

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2 hours ago, Harrycrapper said:

As an accountant, I'd be remiss if I didn't put forward accountantform. Odium could be easily defeated if you bury him in enough paperwork and red tape.

Interestingly that was the idea behind lawyerform. 

I would like to recommend twiterform(enhances the rate at which you can output inflammatory nonsense) and potatoform(just makes you less mobile and better at watching TV).

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Fedform. Gets wrapped up in red tape for all eternity, constantly overstepping their own authority and making most people dislike them at a minimum.

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Chloroform: smells like a swimming pool

Conform: runs confidence games

Deform: very good at vandalizing

Freeform: revolutionary

Inform: snitch

Perform: like artform, but for performing arts

Reform: also a revolutionary

Transform: can turn into an automobile

Uniform: good at designing clothing

Waveform: enjoys surfing

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8 minutes ago, Kon-Tiki said:

Chloroform: smells like a swimming pool

Conform: runs confidence games

Deform: very good at vandalizing

Freeform: revolutionary

Inform: snitch

Perform: like artform, but for performing arts

Reform: also a revolutionary

Transform: can turn into an automobile

Uniform: good at designing clothing

Waveform: enjoys surfing

I love those, it’s so clever!

How about:

Freeform: Really good at improv

Edited by Lunamor
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49 minutes ago, Kon-Tiki said:

Chloroform: smells like a swimming pool

Conform: runs confidence games

Deform: very good at vandalizing

Freeform: revolutionary

Inform: snitch

Perform: like artform, but for performing arts

Reform: also a revolutionary

Transform: can turn into an automobile

Uniform: good at designing clothing

Waveform: enjoys surfing

You adopted punform to write those didn't you!

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