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About ten months ago, Apollyon disappeared. The just-for-fun RP wedding we were planning never happened. Our plans just sat there, unfinished. It doesn't look like we'll ever get closure on what happened to him IRL...

...so we'll have to get it our way.

I peeked out of the preparation room, feeling ready to scream from nerves. It's finally happening what if something goes wrong what if TFA turns up dead what if Ap secretly hates me AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. My internal freaking out wasn't dampened by the knowledge that I had gone crazy over this, telling everyone I knew and many people I didn't to attend. If this wedding sucked or something went wrong, there would probably be someone here to witness it.

"Stop it," an amused voice ordered me, and then two arms pulled me back in and shoved the door shut. "It's all going to be fine. TFA is all right, Ap definitely doesn't secretly hate you, and if anything goes wrong then we can fix it. Okay, Ene? WE CAN FIX IT."

Trying to slow my hyperventilating, I turned to face Safire Dretve. Her dress shifted in a soft gradient from bottom to top, dark gray to light gray to blue, with slits cut into the back. Extending from those slits were a pair of feathered gray wings, now folded flat on her back. Little blue ribbons tied more feathers into her equally blue hair. She grinned at me, knowing all my worries as if I'd said them out loud. Perks of being a telepath.

"Saph's right," Ryfne said calmly from the side, where she sat with a smirking Ieiea Tylei. Ryfne wore an intricate red blouse, beads sewn into the material, with a black skirt and leggings. A shiny belt was hung with Poke Balls, and a streak of red marked her hair. "Everyone is like this when they get married. You'll be okay."

Ieiea laughed. "You've always been more stable than the rest of us. It's weird to see you freaking out now." She was in forest green, with purple embroidery of letters spilling across it - dense near the top, then scattering to a few and then none closer to the bottom. Her wordspren, Phrase, lay on her left arm like a tattoo, with a denser concentration of letters and symbols at the shoulder and lessening down by her wrist.

"Oh, thanks," I muttered back. Logically, I knew they made sense. Emotionally? That would be no.

I paced anxiously over to the room's mirror, a giant hanging construction, and checked my appearance again. I did have to admit that I liked the dress; white satin, it swept down to my feet and rippled elegantly. It was long-sleeved, for the Vorin guests - even though I wasn't Vorin myself - and modest.

Golden, embroidered dragons, each unique, swooped and dove, flamed and clawed around the bottom edge; Aons of the same color encircled my neckline, with Aon Ene prominent in the center. Tiny chains of linked infinity symbols looped the wrists. Silk gloves, also white, went up to my elbow, and I had on pale blue slippers. A silver chain necklace boasted a blue teardrop jewel, which glowed with Creationlight that Ieiea had agreed to infuse.

My jeans were concealed by the dress.

Turning back to the waiting three, I winced. "I'm going to trip and fall in my bouquet or something." The offending blossoms were Marewill flowers, their petals matching my necklace.

The door was suddenly thrown open, and in marched Diona Rokni like a highstorm. A dark blue dress veiled gloves of golden silk, which reached to her wrists. A gold earring, Pathian in design, pierced one ear; a necklace of the same metal - likely holding health - hung loosely. A blue-winged kingfisher with a yellow chest perched on her shoulder. Rwendeh was well-groomed, and somehow it suited Diona to have a bird with her. She gave me one look, and I could feel my bravery and calm mounting.

It was Rioting, of course, but I welcomed it. I knew they were right; it was extremely unlikely that any of my insane scenarios would actually take place. Diona's boost helped. I closed my eyes, drew in a long breath, and exhaled. Opening my eyes, I felt my emotions return to normal - with an elevation in excitement that I didn't think came from Allomancy. Thanks, I mouthed at her.

She smiled back, but it didn't go to her eyes. None of her happiness did these days, thanks to her childhood and the events at the Fulfillment's base; there was always a hidden melancholy. For now, that had been erased from her face, and when she spoke her voice was tinged with interest. "So, when do you plan to go out there and greet people? Because, y'know, they're arriving."

I let out a little yelp. "They ARE? Already? But it's like half an hour before the ceremony!"

"That...is pretty normal, actually, for weddings," Ryfne pointed out, while Safire tried to hide her giggles. Ieiea didn't even do that.

"Erm. Okay. All right. I will...go out there and talk to them! Yes! Small talk!" I gave banishing the last threads of my anxiety one more shot before grabbing the door handle. Shooting a glance behind me at the four of them, I opened it and stepped out.

I was greeted by a chapel smothered in color. White streamers dangled from every available surface. Stormlight shone through blue and gold filters, illuminating the open hall of Omi Chapel through the clever use of mirrors and lamps. The pews, with their dark wood backs and red velvet seats, were set in rows facing the podium. Outside, in Silverlight Meadow, I knew tables were draped with white showed off their gleaming silverware, centerpieces of more Marewill blossoms decorating them every few place settings.

I glanced to the side and froze. Leaning against the wall was a young man in a simple black-and-white suit with a light gray tie. As he saw me, he straightened and grinned, saluting me.

I sighed, but hid a smile. "Hey, Mond. What are you doing here?"

"Attending your wedding?" he tried innocently.

"When you were expressly told not to come, because you'd cause havoc?"

Mond smirked, his act dropping as easily as a raindrop. "You say that like I ever listen to you."

"Fair," I allowed. "Just don't ruin anything, or I'll kill you."

"You do that, Ene. You do that." His smirk widened. We both knew his semblance would prevent me from killing him, if I got up the nerve to try.

I made a shooing motion, biting my lips together so I wouldn't laugh, and watched Mond saunter off in the other direction. Then I turned, squared my shoulders, and moved toward the door.

*half an hour later*

I stood now right outside Omi Chapel, shivering in the lamentations of the wind. With no father to hand me off present, Gati was doing it for me. He was male at the moment, with a tuxedo the same yellow as his eyes, but I'd seen it shift to a full-on dress occasionally.

He gave me a fatherly wink and squeezed my hand as the first notes of Forever Fall began playing inside; we stepped forward, through the doors, which were at that moment flung open by Lurchers.

"Once, like a dream, you lo-ooked at me, and e-very-ything felt new..."

It was like a dream. I proceeded up the aisle, finding faces I knew among the masses on the benches. Replay, giving me a quiet thumbs-up; Yd, with her gauzy, pale yellow dress patterned with green glyphs across the shoulders and down the back, Ene the seon drifting just above her; Deteca with her bright peach-colored gown, lacking any ornamentation yet still beautiful; so many others, all watching me.

"Some people fall in love for life; others never get it right - love's fickle when it calls..."

TFA waited at the podium, ready to say the vows and join Ap and I together - wed. On either side, sand masters swirled designs in the air, and Lightweavers prepared to shoot off fake fireworks. Was I ready? No, I was still panicked! Diona's Rioting had worn off long ago and I was NOT READY FOR THIS.

"One thing that I know for suuuure, longer than our lives endure; yoooooou're myyyyy -"

Strangely, Ap wasn't standing next to TFA. His white outfit should've been easy to pick out, but it wasn't. As we approached, I couldn't find him.

"...Fore~ver~ FAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL -"

The volume of the music screeched up, and as the last word - fall - played, something fell in front of me, landing crumpled and distraught on the floor.

Silence hit. All anyone could do was stare.

We'd found Apollyon. He was dead.

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All your characters are welcome; you're also welcome to come as yourself. If you bring characters, they should be at the end of their respective plots (though you don't have to wait for a RP to end before bringing them in).

Welcome to The Mysterious Disappearance of Apollyon: A Chaotic Seventeenth Shard Mystery-Thriller-Romance-Comedy-Tragedy. Credit to Zath for the name. 

May you find all the answers you're looking for, and know that's there's always another secret!

 

Edited by AonEne
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Oh my, how exciting! I may just have to join in on this RP since I was planning on attending the wedding anyway...

Life before death. Strength before weakness. Journey before destination. It had been a little over 2 years since she had spoken those words, and looking around, Rebecca was amazed by how far she had come. She had gained incredible powers, great knowledge, and amazing friends. And now, here she was, about to attend a wedding. And not just any wedding. It was the wedding of one of her coolest friends, AonEne. Not only that, but Rebecca was one of Ene’s maids of honor! Which, if you asked Rebecca, was pretty storming awesome. 

Butterflies began to form in her stomach. Wow. This was really happening! After all the planning and preparation, the wedding was finally happening! Annoyed with herself, Rebecca mentally pushed the butterflies away. This wasn’t even her wedding! What was there for her to be nervous about? Well, she supposed she was just nervous on Ene’s behalf. If anything went wrong, the day would be ruined for Ene, and Rebecca would never be able to forgive herself. Ene deserved a happy wedding, and that’s what she would get!

Rebecca gave a little nod, and turned to look in the bathroom mirror, triple checking her makeup, hair, and dress. Her long brown hair hung down her back, and to her knees, straight and silky. Almost as silky as her golden halter top dress, which reached down to her ankles. But Rebecca’s favorite part of the dress was the ring of sparkling topazes that circled her waist.

”Do I look okay Leon? My dress looks fine in the back, right?” Rebecca asked, attempting to twist around in such a way that would allow her to see her back in the mirror.

“You look fine. How many times do I have to tell you? This is probably the best looking you’ve ever been in your life. I hardly ever see you in a dress, let alone something like this. Trust me, you look great,” Leon, Rebecca’s spren replied.

Unsure how to feel about his reply, Rebecca just nodded her head. Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the bathroom door, and walked out. It was about 20 minutes before the ceremony was scheduled to begin, and a steady stream of guests were making their way into the building. Rebecca made some small talk with the arriving guests, and eventually made her way to the front pew to sit down. 

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Does anyone know if there’s a specific spot the maids of honor are supposed to sit/stand? If so, let me know so I can correct myself.

A couple minutes later, Ene walked down the aisle, holding the hand of a man in a yellow tuxedo. Rebecca couldn’t hold back her smile as she watched Ene glide between the pews toward TFA, ready to speak her vows.

Except, wasn’t Apollyon supposed to already be up front? Rebecca cocked her head, confused as her eyes scoured the room for any sign of him. How had she not noticed his absence earlier? He better show up. If he had decided to not come today....well, let’s just say Rebecca would have some words with him. Harsh words.

Growing increasingly worried, she was about to stand up when something happened. A large thing fell from the ceiling and crumpled into heap on the floor, just in front of Ene. Rebecca covered her mouth with her hands, and Leon let out a small gasp. Everyone stared, some in the back standing to get a better look at what was on the ground. But Rebecca didn’t stand. She was close enough to the horror in front of her, and didn’t want a clearer view than she currently had, for fear she may loose her lunch.

Lying on the ground was the man Rebecca had just been searching for. Apollyon lay on the ground, dead, at Ene’s feet.

Edited by Rebecca
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5 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

...one of her coolest friends, AonEne. 

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Aww, thank you :wub: you’re a pretty storming awesome friend yourself, Rebecca! And that was some good RP!

I don’t think maids of honor have to sit anywhere special? 

 

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11 minutes ago, AonEne said:

Aww, thank you :wub: you’re a pretty storming awesome friend yourself, Rebecca! And that was some good RP!

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Thanks! :D^_^

8 minutes ago, Lunamor said:

In my (very limited) experience, they tend to sit in the front row.

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Well, that’s more than I know! Thanks!

 

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Dapper slouched in the back of the chapel, porkpie hat pulled low over his eyes. His clothing helped him to blend in: all black. He wore a black button down shirt with fitted black pants and a black tie. He also wore a pure black coat that came down to his mid calves, with fitted sleeves. 

He watched Ene walk down down the isle and gave her a sarcastic nod. He'd never personally met her husband-to-be, but he was so awesome that Ene had decided to marry him. Though he was apparently late to his own wedding. Dapper sighed, checking his watch and wondering how long until he could leave the this stuffy chapel. 

A crash sounded from the altar, but Dapper didn't even flinch. Dwig would probably show up to 'helpfully' inform him. Sure enogh, Dwig ran up to Dapper, looking like Dapper's opposite in his white power armor. "You know you don't have to wear that everywhere." Dapper commented dryly. 

Dwig didn't acknowledge his quip. "Ene's husband finally showed up, though he probably won't be getting married anytime soon." Dwig paused, then continued flatly, "He's dead, if you didn't catch that already."

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Mystery!

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt about life, it’s this: you never know when you’ll need a coffin. Sure, sure, you might think you don’t need one, you might think that you’ll be perfectly safe from Death’s grasp on your own wedding day. But life is like a badly made pudding: no consistency. Death, however, is the opposite. It’s completely consistent, like a well made pudding. Mmm, pudding.

Thriller!

Everyone had a different reason to be at that wedding, that was for sure. Me? I liked weddings. The happiness was great, and while I didn’t really know this Apollyon guy too much, I knew the bride, and that was good enough for me to decide to attend, eve if they didn’t know it. When they handed out invitations, I couldn’t RSPV whether I was coming or not, because I didn’t need known whether I’d be there or not. Well, now I am here. I think.

Romance!

I had to say, though, the wedding had been looking good until the revelation. The reception was great, the food and pudding better than I’d expected and the atmosphere was just A+. It had the start of something, but, as I said before, life is a poorly made pudding, and yes, I’m sticking to that metaphor whether you like it or not.

Comedy!

I entered the scene just about the same time anyone else did. The whole drama at the main podium was just some stage play, I assumed — who knew, weddings were getting more unorthodox and I wouldn’t have been surprised if this Apollyon fellow was just playing us for laughs. Evidently not!

Tragedy!

While guests had begun to leave (perhaps due to the murder, you never know) I joined the few who were hanging around the ex-groom. My heart told me it was the wife, to collect insurance money maybe! But my brain told me I was in a RP, and there was no such thing as complex insurance fraud/murder within a RP of this type. Plus, they hadn’t been married yet, so maybe my detective instincts were a little rusty...

Itiah!

Looking over the body, I reached down and checked for a pulse. I nudged a woman who seemed shocked by the whole ordeal as well.

“He’s dead,” I said. Then paused. “I think,”

@Rebecca

Edited by I think I am here.
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Rebecca jumped a little in surprise as she felt someone nudge her. It took her brain a couple seconds to process the person’s words, as there was already so much running through there.

Then she nodded slowly and replied, “Yeah, he looks pretty dead to me.”

She had to abruptly turn away from the body and cover her mouth again as she felt the urge to hurl.

@I think I am here.

Edited by Rebecca
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39 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

Then she nodded slowly and replied, “Yeah, he looks pretty dead to me.”

She had to abruptly turn away from the body and cover her mouth again as she felt the urge to hurl.

I hadn’t realised how much of a stink dead bodies could be until I was staring at one. Really, movies seemed to really romanticise dead bodies, as weird as it sounded. You had action movies with corpses strewn all around the place, horror with a dead body around every corner, and of course, murder mysteries.

The woman turned away and covered her mouth. At this point I was just remembering that yes, dead bodies do indeed smell and turned away as well as a pungent aroma suddenly filled my nostrils. The annoying thing was if the lady hadn’t reacted to the smell I probably would’ve continued as normal. That was the nature of my ability, after all.

It was weird. Sometimes I forgot basic facts, such as my own existence, and when I forgot those facts, physics seemed to alter locally to fit my incorrect self. I could literally walk off a cliff and only fall down when I realised I was walking off a cliff, like something straight out of the Loony Toons. I would describe it as an Alcatraz Talent, but as a RP character I wasn’t supposed to know what that wa — wait, what’s a Talent again?

It meant that I’d forgotten entirely that corpses smelled which is why I hadn’t felt the smell until the woman had brought attention to it by reacting. It is a confusing ability, I’ll give you that.

“Deader than a doorknob,” I agreed. “Though I never really understood that phrase.”

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On 21/07/2019 at 0:19 AM, Rebecca said:

Her companion turned their head away from the body as well. They’d probably smelled the foul odor too.

“I think the phrase is actually ‘dead as a doornail’. But, no, it doesn’t make much sense, does it?”

@I think I am here.

“No, it doesn’t,” I said.

“Doornails don’t die, last time I checked. Though who knows. My sympathies to the would-be wife. I wouldn’t think this would be the best day for her.”

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3 hours ago, I think I am here. said:

“No, it doesn’t,” I said.

“Doornails don’t die, last time I checked. Though who knows. My sympathies to the would-be wife. I wouldn’t think this would be the best day for her.”

Rebecca hung her head sadly, and slowly shook if back and forth.

“No. It was supposed to be perfect. And after everything...now this...”

A single tear slid down her cheek, but she quickly swiped it away, hoping no one had noticed. Then she lifted her head to let look at Ene. The bride still stood in shock, gazing down at Apollyon’s body. If Ene didn’t snap out of it soon, Rebecca decided she would have to go over there and do it herself. Ene would eventually go mad if she just stood there like that for too long.

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On 26/07/2019 at 0:09 AM, Rebecca said:

Rebecca hung her head sadly, and slowly shook if back and forth.

“No. It was supposed to be perfect. And after everything...now this...”

A single tear slid down her cheek, but she quickly swiped it away, hoping no one had noticed. Then she lifted her head to let look at Ene. The bride still stood in shock, gazing down at Apollyon’s body. If Ene didn’t snap out of it soon, Rebecca decided she would have to go over there and do it herself. Ene would eventually go mad if she just stood there like that for too long.

I didn’t notice the tear. But I’m telling you this now, so I must have noticed, right? I looked to the woman. It was supposed to be perfect, she had said.

“Life like pudding,” I said quietly. “A perfect one doesn’t exist. You can have all the ingredients and still mess up. But, you can also have the worst pudding in the world, and with enough care it can become good.”

I looked back at the would-be bride. “So let’s take care of the situation.”

Idly I wonder what type of pudding this situation would be. Blood pudding, probably.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I was faintly aware of voices all around me... 

Safire: Ene, calm the Dusts down right this minute. Stop looking at - at Ap. Look at me. 

Replay: "She's not snapping out of it..." 

Diona: "Shut up and move out of my way!" The sound of someone tripping. "Ene, FOCUS. Quit staring at Ap RIGHT NOW." 

Replay: "Are you doing your emotions thingy?" 

Diona: "Yes. It's not working." 

Ane: "Maybe if I..." 

AE: "Don't even think about it, demon girl!" 

Ieiea: "Hey hey hey no, don't fight. AE, be nice. Ane, I'm not sure that's a good idea." 

Clearcut: WILL SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING? 

Deteca: "Ack, loud. So, er, Apollyon fell from who-knows-where..." 

Cobalt: "Wait, should we...go see if we can find clues or evidence or whatever up there then?" 

Boreas: "Good idea. I'll head a team to search?" 

Yd: "I'd like to go." 

Shimmerwing: "As do I." 

Swift: "You couldn't keep me away from this if you tried." 

...but that faint awareness did not translate to understanding. 

(Probably won't work but @Apollyon

@Archer @BitBitio @The Last Post @Mistspren @Blessing of Potency @Sami @Kidpen @Lunamor @The Forgetful Archivist @Ashspren

Edited by AonEne
had a lot of @ troubles
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42 minutes ago, AonEne said:

I was faintly aware of voices all around me... 

Safire: Ene, calm the Dusts down right this minute. Stop looking at - at Ap. Look at me. 

Replay: "She's not snapping out of it..." 

Diona: "Shut up and move out of my way!" The sound of someone tripping. "Ene, FOCUS. Quit staring at Ap RIGHT NOW." 

Replay: "Are you doing your emotions thingy?" 

Diona: "Yes. It's not working." 

Ane: "Maybe if I..." 

AE: "Don't even think about it, demon girl!" 

Ieiea: "Hey hey hey no, don't fight. AE, be nice. Ane, I'm not sure that's a good idea." 

Clearcut: WILL SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING? 

Deteca: "Ack, loud. So, er, Apollyon fell from who-knows-where..." 

Cobalt: "Wait, should we...go see if we can find clues or evidence or whatever up there then?" 

Boreas: "Good idea. I'll head a team to search?" 

Yd: "I'd like to go." 

Shimmerwing: "As do I." 

Swift: "You couldn't keep me away from this if you tried." 

...but that faint awareness did not translate to understanding. 

(Probably won't work but @Apollyon

@Archer @BitBitio @The Last Post @Mistspren @Blessing of Potency @Sami @Kidpen @Lunamor @The Forgetful Archivist @Ashspren

What?

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The sound of vehicles parking echoed from outside. 

Dapper shook his head, "Oh no..." 

The doors burst open and a molty procession of people entered. Among them, Dapper spotted Doc and Jamie, both Rydins with Aben loping just behind them, Quinn and Tina, who were speaking quietly, Malone, The Avenue Men, and finally Ciera, who jogged over to Dwig and Dapper.

Dapper grimaced at Ciera and gestured to the group, most of whom were going to check out the body. "Dwig called you?" he asked, exasperated

"Whoever he could remember of the top of his head." Ciera responded, cocking her head, "That's what he told me, at least."

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16 hours ago, The Last Post said:

What?

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I tagged everyone involved in the planning, I should've done it at the start. (Mist, if you show up, I apologize for stealing Rea and Aurum :P)

Cassie meandered over to Jamie and Doc as Boreas led several people up to the hole that had crashed through the ceiling when Ap fell through. Some flew up under their own power, while others jumped onto the back of Shimmerwing, who was using any opportunity she got to spread her new wings.

Meanwhile, Ieiea strolled over to Ene and took her firmly by the shoulders, turned her to face her, and shook her hard.

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I'd've punched myself in the face but I don't think any of my characters are healers.

 

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I walked to the would-be-wife — storms, I really needed to find a name for her (Ene! I could just say Ene, couldn’t I? [because writing the would-be-wife every time I wanted to reference her was annoying {not as annoying at this use of brackets-within-brackets, I realised far too late}]).

I was going to see what I could do to make her feel better about the whole situation but it seems she was already surrounded — by an armada of her own characters. I was intimidated, I knew a few of them but the others I had no idea about, though I guess all I’d have to do would be too check her About Me section to find them — and rusts, there was a lot of them. I wondered if anyone of them was a doctor — not like any medical attention could help Apollyon.

Almost on cue, Dr. Dapper shook his head and a crowd of his own characters came rushing through the door. I looked with wide eyes, wondering what to do? Did I bring my own characters into the mix? It wasn’t like I had many to compare. Just Rashan, Mara, Max, Tars, Redatrick, Alask, Lusk, Wes... Okay, there were a couple, but still. Did I really want to sic them upon this thread? Or was this a solo mission for the one and only, Itiah?

I smirked. Then I wiped that smirk off my face, because that was inappropriate considering for the last couple minutes I had been staring at the ex-groom’s dead body. I looked to Ene again, and sighed and walked over to her.

“It’s okay,” I said, looking at Ene. I waved. “Do you want pudding? Colours, I’m not going to accept an no, you look like you really need some, and lucky for you, I brought extra!”

@AonEne

Edited by I think I am here.
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6 hours ago, I think I am here. said:

I was intimidated, I knew a few of them but the others I had no idea about, though I guess all I’d have to do would be too check her About Me section to find them — and rusts, there was a lot of them. 

I smirked. Then I wiped that smirk off my face, because that was inappropriate considering for the last couple minutes I had been staring at the ex-groom’s dead body. 

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:D:lol: 

l just laughed out loud picturing this. 

I looked up; everything was hazy. I was in shock. “Itiah...?” 

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On 14/08/2019 at 1:18 AM, AonEne said:

I looked up; everything was hazy. I was in shock. “Itiah...?” 

“Yes,” I said and gave a thumbs-up to the three people who upvoted my previous action. Turning back to Ene, I noted she was in shock. Ah, shock. I hated shock. Shock was like a still pudding, when you knew deep under the surface everything was messy and poorly made. Shock had tricked me into eating many a bad pudding before, and I wasn’t going to let that happen to Ene. It was my number one concern.

That and the dead groom, of course. But he was dead and dead people didn’t like pudding, so I turned back to Ene.

“It’s okay,” I said soothingly, bringing out a pudding cup from my pocket. It was strawberry flavoured. Gently I tried to put the pudding cup in one of Ene’s hands and the small, plastic spoon in the other. “Everything is fine, it’s just fine. Eat this pudding, it will make you feel better.

The pudding wasn’t drugged with morphine or supernaturally going to make her feel better, but it was the best pudding I had in my arsenal. Homemade from wherever I come from (probably from my author’s brain), so that had to count for something. I looked at Ene in concern, and then at the dead groom.

“Dead as a doornail doesn’t make any sense,” I grumbled under my breath.

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13 hours ago, AonEne said:

I looked down at the pudding he'd given me, then handed it and the spoon back. "No, I...I need to..." My eyes fell on Ap again and I wrenched myself away.

I stood in between her and Apollyon.

“You need to clear your mind, relax,” I said. I looked back at Apollyon for a second and back to her. My detective skills hadn’t been used in a while, but they still existed, because the plot required them to and the only thing cooler than a pudding-lover with an existential crisis was a pudding-lover with an existential crisis who was also a hardboiled, ex-detective, such as I.

Yes, life was tough on these alleys, I thought, the world suddenly seeming like a black and white movie where I was the detective, the widow coming to my office like an autumn breeze, asking me to solve the death of her husband. The only thing here was that the two hadn’t been married yet.

She handed back the spoon and I looked at it, and then slowly tried to give it back to her.

“Trust me, it will help.”

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