Magic the Gathering

[Peng the Just]

I'm working on a MTG set based around the cosmere. It's still got a lot of work to go, but I'd appreciate some feedback on some of what I have so far.

 

https://mtgcardsmith.com/user/jasonpenguin/sets/23691

I'm hoping for this to be a 360 card cube draft

Thanks to the following artists who have graciously allowed me to use their work for this project:

Art Spren

Ari Ibarra

Bonnie Johnson

Ashley Coad

Bernardo Curvello

Botanicaxu

Casta

Connor Chamberlain

DNAVENOM

Eleonor Piteira

Exmakina

FelCandy

Francis Goeltner

Gis Almeida

Grant M Hansen

HorizonProblems

Jan Sidoryk

JurassicPencil

Kelly Mai

Marie Seeberger

Lyraina

Madison Coyne

Shuravf

Sun-Dari

Treefin

Yen Shu Liao

I have preliminary art on some cards that I haven't yet obtained permission for, but I'm working on it.

 

Also thanks to the kind souls who have commented below and my IRL friends @Djarskublar, CPB, KLT, JNH, AMH for feedback and help

Edited August 28, 2019 by Peng the Just
added thanks and previews

[+Ed Venture]

It seems playable. I worry about AonDaa, 4 damage for 2 mana? Lightning bolt is 3 for the same price. I could never see someone using any of the land cards. Why can stick be sacrificed? It should be indestructible.  At least give him an alternate win condition ability!  Eshoni's form ability is perfect. I would buff Taravagian a tad, perhaps scry three, and give him some an ability that sacrifices? Can I have Neargoul for my deck please? And I adore your Vin! Wonderful take on her abilities. Does Duralumin and copper have any effect other than tapping? Are there spiked creatures? Is spiked a token, a subclass, a race? Ruin is good but he needs a spiking ability, "Tap Ruin and pay three red mana: Take control of target creature until end of turn, give that creature a spike token." and "Tap Ruin and pay two colorless mana: Take control of target creature with a spike token until end of turn" Edit: Rock needs to be changed: Defender, reach, attack buffs, and "Whenever a creature dies Rock loses Defender"

On the less mechinacal side everything looks great and I think everything wonderfuly represents the abilities within the books. And the Kalad's Phantoms art! The best part of the set! 

Edited June 27, 2019 by Butt Ad Venture

[Peng the Just]

13 hours ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

It seems playable. I worry about AonDaa, 4 damage for 2 mana? Lightning bolt is 3 for the same price.

Lightning bolt is only {R}, but also an incredibly powerful card. I might increase Aon Daa to {2}{r} and make it an instant

13 hours ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

I could never see someone using any of the land cards.

This is intended to be a draft, I should have mentioned that initially. Since there will be many two color cards, I wanted to make sure that it was possible to make mana bases that would support them. The three color lands are in that vein. I also really don't feel that they are that weak, compare City of Brass and Mana confluence, both of which see lots of competitive play. As for the mono colored lands, I'm actually worried about them being too powerful. Compare the deserts from Ahmonket block, which required you to sacrifice them. ramunap ruins had to be banned in standard.

13 hours ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

Why can stick be sacrificed? It should be indestructible.  At least give him an alternate win condition ability! 

I tried for the flavor that you're trying to make it into fire, but might not succeed.

13 hours ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

I would buff Taravagian a tad, perhaps scry three, and give him some an ability that sacrifices?

He's only two mana. Let's not get too crazy  I'll play him and see if he needs a power up.

13 hours ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

Does Duralumin and copper have any effect other than tapping? Are there spiked creatures? Is spiked a token, a subclass, a race?

Spiked is a creature type I'm using. See Tensoon, Human, Spook and Koloss army. There will also likely be two inquisitor cards.

13 hours ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

Ruin is good but he needs a spiking ability, "Tap Ruin and pay three red mana: Take control of target creature until end of turn, give that creature a spike token." and "Tap Ruin and pay two colorless mana: Take control of target creature with a spike token until end of turn"

Tapping abilities don't go on enchantments. I'll think about adding some spiking interaction to that card.

13 hours ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

 Edit: Rock needs to be changed: Defender, reach, attack buffs, and "Whenever a creature dies Rock loses Defender"

 Rock's design was supposed to simply reflect his reluctance to participate in combat, but I might end up changing him to be more as you describe. We'll see. I don't want all the cards to have big blocks of rules text or no one will want to play with me.  

13 hours ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

It seems playable. ... Eshoni's form ability is perfect. ... Can I have Neargoul for my deck please? And I adore your Vin! Wonderful take on her abilities. ...

On the less mechinacal side everything looks great and I think everything wonderfuly represents the abilities within the books. And the Kalad's Phantoms art! The best part of the set! 

Thanks for the kind words! I'm commissioning art for Kalad's Phantoms, so that's a placeholder done by yours truly. What can I say? I have a gift.

[+Ed Venture]

1 hour ago, Peng the Just said:

Tapping abilities don't go on enchantments. I'll think about adding some spiking interaction to that card.

I thought it was an enchantment creature. It makes more sense now. Perhaps a +2 +0 boost for spiked creatures would work? Plus some way to add spiked to a creature?

1 hour ago, Peng the Just said:

This is intended to be a draft, I should have mentioned that initially.

Ah, I don't play draft much, well not at all, but I understand enough and the lands make much more sense in that context.

1 hour ago, Peng the Just said:

Spiked is a creature type I'm using. See Tensoon, Human, Spook and Koloss army. There will also likely be two inquisitor cards.

Tensoon isn't a spiked creature.

1 hour ago, Peng the Just said:

. I don't want all the cards to have big blocks of rules text or no one will want to play with me.  

Well there is a lot of flavor text on some cards...

Warbreaker's card should say "Until the start" or "until the end of your next turn"

Finally, should the Lift card say Unblockable instead of Unblocked?

Edited June 27, 2019 by Butt Ad Venture

[Peng the Just]

1 hour ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

Tensoon isn't a spiked creature.

Whoops! fixed that.

1 hour ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

Warbreaker's card should say "Until the start" or "until the end of your next turn"

"Until your next turn" is verbiage that is used in situation like this. See Jace, Architect of Thought and Chronomantic Escape

1 hour ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

Finally, should the Lift card say Unblockable instead of Unblocked?

As it's designed, no. It currently is meant to work that you play the ability after blocks are declared.

However, the very fact that this is confusing to you makes me think I want to change it to be more clear. I should also probably move the ability into blue.

[+Ed Venture]

Thanks for sharing this. It looks wonderful. I'm glad I was able to help but more importantly, thank you for putting up with me. I'm not familiar with the intricacies of the game even though I do play a good bit.

[Peng the Just]

Thanks for your help! Feel free to let me know if you notice anything else or have other ideas. 

 

I also wanted to show off a couple of designs I'm particularly proud of.

 

[+Ed Venture]

*whistles* I just looked at your new designs. Those are nice! Great job again. I will try to do analysis later but just know that they look wonderful.

Edited July 16, 2019 by Butt Ad Venture

[king of nowhere]

great job!

kaladin should only get buffed and tapped when a creature you control dies, not when any creature dies. also, i think he regenerates too cheap.

eshoni should be eshonai. also, i think forcing her to spend a full turn to change form is too punitive. either she could do it faster, or she may cost 1 less

coppercloud would be better off as "you or target creature you control gain hexproof until end of turn". the effect is basically the same.

I like amaram. his ability is virtually useless, but so fitting!

If shardblade gives deathtouch, shardplate should give the ability to ignore deathtouch as well.

ashertmarn is way too strong. it kills one artifact or enchantment every turn, and it only costs 2.

[Peng the Just]

2 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

great job!

kaladin should only get buffed and tapped when a creature you control dies, not when any creature dies. also, i think he regenerates too cheap.

 

I went back and forth on any creature or only one you control. I choose any creature because he seems to get mopey about any and all death on any side, but it still may change. I’ll likely add {1} to his regeneration cost.

2 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

eshoni should be eshonai. also, i think forcing her to spend a full turn to change form is too punitive. either she could do it faster, or she may cost 1 less

I’ll fix spelling on her tomorrow. I’ll also probably change her cost to {2}{u}{r} and change her base stats to 2/3 and her warform boost to +3/+1.

 

2 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

coppercloud would be better off as "you or target creature you control gain hexproof until end of turn". the effect is basically the same.

That is better formatting.

2 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

 

I like amaram. his ability is virtually useless, but so fitting!

I may give amaram a keyword ability to ensure he sees some play. Leaning towards haste right now. I also have a couple more ideas for equipment I plan to include (glass daggers and a shardhammer would be fun)

2 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

 

If shardblade gives deathtouch, shardplate should give the ability to ignore deathtouch as well

Love it

2 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

ashertmarn is way too strong. it kills one artifact or enchantment every turn, and it only costs 2.

Agree to disagree until I can do some playtesting. Notice the ability is not optional. Once it has gone through your opponents stuff, it doesn’t stop. I might take away the ETB effect though.

[Aluminum]

Basically everything in this deck seems overpowered to me but I mostly play older cards so maybe it's just the power creep. I do think Sazed should be a 2/3. Right now his feruchemy feels a little bit weak. 

[Peng the Just]

1 hour ago, Aluminum said:

Basically everything in this deck seems overpowered to me but I mostly play older cards so maybe it's just the power creep. I do think Sazed should be a 2/3. Right now his feruchemy feels a little bit weak. 

The cards are designed to be powerful, but not game breaking. I have a friend with a cube and I’m trying to aim for a similar power level. I was looking at changing sazed just yesterday, actually. I think I’ll make it so he doesn’t have to tap to activate it.

[+Ark1002]

This seems really cool.

[Peng the Just]

Thanks for the kind words! In a couple of months, I'm gonna need some volunteers to help playtest in the utah valley area.

[continuumg]

Kenton has the option to gain either +1/-1 or +1/-1...

[+ILuvHats]

4 hours ago, Peng the Just said:

Thanks for the kind words! In a couple of months, I'm gonna need some volunteers to help playtest in the utah valley area.

Hmmmm, is it worth flying down just to do this? By the way, I love the set so far. At first, I was going to comment on how insanely op the Stormfather card was. Turns out I misread it, and it says “at the beginning of your end step” instead of “at the beginning of your turn.” 

[Peng the Just]

24 minutes ago, continuumg said:

Kenton has the option to gain either +1/-1 or +1/-1...

Whoops! fixed now.

2 minutes ago, ILuvHats said:

Hmmmm, is it worth flying down just to do this? By the way, I love the set so far. At first, I was going to comment on how insanely op the Stormfather card was. Turns out I misread it, and it says “at the beginning of your end step” instead of “at the beginning of your turn.” 

I mean, I don't think it's worth flying out for this. But so you know I plan to bring this to all future Sanderson releases once I get it done, so if you ever are around for one of those, I'd love to play with them with you. In regards to your comment on the stormfather card, yeah, it's not too broken, but it's also far from my favorite card I've designed. The idea is that it recharges spheres (the untapping) and forces people to hunker down (tapping), but I might completely change it if I can come up with something better. It doesn't seem to me like it results in the best gamplay, though it would still find a home in a control deck. We'll see.

[ardrel]

Unleash the Larkin is ridiculously cheap. An unconditional counter for 3 mana that spawns a flying token? I'd at least make it "Counter target non-creature spell" and increase the cost by 2 or introduce a "unless the player pays 2.".

On Lighteyed Practice Ground and other land cards it should be "add R to your mana pool" not just "add R".

(please change the creature type "bird" to "chicken" i beg you)

Shardplate seems rather weak considering its canon power, especially contrasted to the strong bonus your Shardblade gives.

Stormfather would be hell in multiplayer but in a good way!

Basic lashing, Influx of Stormlight, Frost, Awaken, Defend the tower, Mists of the Night are all too cheap for the power they bring.

Odium's Champion and I think a few other "take control" cards have no time limit attached to them. 2 mana to take control of the most powerful creature, forever?

Denth and Jasnah are really good! And Amaram lmao. Generally from what I can tell it's pretty good.

[Peng the Just]

5 hours ago, ardrel said:

Unleash the Larkin is ridiculously cheap. An unconditional counter for 3 mana that spawns a flying token? I'd at least make it "Counter target non-creature spell" and increase the cost by 2 or introduce a "unless the player pays 2.".

I have nerfed this one slightly. It's now a mana leak + a creature.

5 hours ago, ardrel said:

On Lighteyed Practice Ground and other land cards it should be "add R to your mana pool" not just "add R".

This changed with Dominaria. The new formatting is reflected in my cards.

5 hours ago, ardrel said:

(please change the creature type "bird" to "chicken" i beg you)

LOL

5 hours ago, ardrel said:

Shardplate seems rather weak considering its canon power, especially contrasted to the strong bonus your Shardblade gives..

Hmm... I've gone ahead and given this a slight boost.

5 hours ago, ardrel said:

Basic lashing, Influx of Stormlight, Frost, Awaken, Defend the tower, Mists of the Night are all too cheap for the power they bring.

Basic lashing should be OK. Compare Skyshaper. Frost has been nerfed. Awaken should be good, compare ensoul artifact . I actually disagree about defend the tower, but I don't have a better reference point than holy day. Mists of the night isn't that crazy. Compare righteous charge.

 

5 hours ago, ardrel said:

Odium's Champion and I think a few other "take control" cards have no time limit attached to them. 2 mana to take control of the most powerful creature, forever?

Scud. Fixed on the champion and checked elsewhere. I didn't see the issue elsewhere, but I could be forgetting a card. Thanks.

5 hours ago, ardrel said:

Denth and Jasnah are really good! And Amaram lmao. Generally from what I can tell it's pretty good.

Thanks for the kind words and all of your feedback! I know I didn't change everything you suggested, but I still really appreciate you taking the time and effort to make suggestions.

[ardrel]

32 minutes ago, Peng the Just said:

Thanks for the kind words and all of your feedback! I know I didn't change everything you suggested, but I still really appreciate you taking the time and effort to make suggestions.

It is your deck, and I am not as Invested in MtG as I once was. Always happy to give feedback, I had fun looking through the cards

[Peng the Just]

Just wanted to share an update with the forum, I just designed my 240th card, so the set is 2/3 done.

Here's the card:

It's not a very flashy card, but I expect it to be an early pick. 

[king of nowhere]

Some of your more recent card took a definite turn towards overpowered.

chouta gives a +1/+2 to all creatures for a total cost of 2. effect is slightly weaker than inspired charge, that gives +2/+1 and cost 4. you have to play it in advance, so the opponent can see you have it, but on the other hand it cannot be counterspelled once it's on the ground. it resembles pride of conquerors, that gives +2/+2 for the same cost if you have city blessing. strong, but ok.

warcamp prison does almost the same thing as lawmage binding, and it costs 1 less mana.

hoid's counsel, I've seen cards do the same that cost 4.

navani's rage, i don't think the swap from instant to sorcery is enough to reduce the price of lightning bolt from 2 to 1.

the weeping seems stronger than sleep because you can cast directly after the opponent's untap phase. if it was a sorcery i'd have no problems with it.

liss... costs 2, and with 2 mana can destroy any creature? way too cheap as a mechanism of removal requiring no cards. especially since a 1/1 deathtouch is still a useful blocker on its own.

the stump: costs 1 and by simply being tapped can stop any removal. and it's already a 1/2.

brightlord seems too cheap for what it does

for lord ruler, it's a bit too easy to trigger its condition for hexproof and indestructible.

vial of metals, i'd be more comfortable if there was a limit of charge expenditure. as it is, it becomes almost impossible to block the creature without losing something.

karata does the same thing as mentor of the meek, but cheaper.

atium gambit does the same thing as murder, but it's cheaper even before its cost reduction clause.

 

the bands of mourning,  on the other hand, are very underwhelming. if nothing else, they should also give indestructible

 

 

[Peng the Just]

14 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

Some of your more recent card took a definite turn towards overpowered.

chouta gives a +1/+2 to all creatures for a total cost of 2. effect is slightly weaker than inspired charge, that gives +2/+1 and cost 4. you have to play it in advance, so the opponent can see you have it, but on the other hand it cannot be counterspelled once it's on the ground. it resembles pride of conquerors, that gives +2/+2 for the same cost if you have city blessing. strong, but ok.

Compare charge

14 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

warcamp prison does almost the same thing as lawmage binding, and it costs 1 less mana.

yup, but lawmage binding is a fairly week card and this cube is supposed to be at a higher power level. Arrest sees very little play and doesn't have the restrictive two color cost. I don't think this one will be too strong. It might be too strong for a standard environment, but I'm not designing for standard.

14 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

hoid's counsel, I've seen cards do the same that cost 4.

Many cubes run Demonic Tutor which costs 2. This costs 1 more than that to let you have it as an instant.

14 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

navani's rage, i don't think the swap from instant to sorcery is enough to reduce the price of lightning bolt from 2 to 1.

I think you're mistaken? Lightning bolt costs {r} and is an instant.

14 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

the weeping seems stronger than sleep because you can cast directly after the opponent's untap phase. if it was a sorcery i'd have no problems with it.

Compare cryptic command. Sleep is definitely below the power level I plan for the set.

14 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

liss... costs 2, and with 2 mana can destroy any creature? way too cheap as a mechanism of removal requiring no cards. especially since a 1/1 deathtouch is still a useful blocker on its own.

I go back and forth on how I feel about this one. Keep in mind that you have to find a way to tap her, presumably attacking, for her ability to do anything. I'm gonna leave it as is for now, but I definitely will keep on eye on her during playtesting.

14 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

the stump: costs 1 and by simply being tapped can stop any removal. and it's already a 1/2.

Many cubes run mother of runes, which I consider to be above the power level I'm looking for. The stump is a somewhat nerfed version of that, plus I like that she protects the small creatures, like how she runes an orphanage. I'll watch her during testing. If she needs a nerf, I'll probably change it from "3 or less" to "2 or less."

14 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

brightlord seems too cheap for what it does

Removed "trample." Should still feel powerful like that.

14 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

for lord ruler, it's a bit too easy to trigger its condition for hexproof and indestructible.

compare angelic overseer. I think this card would positively break standard, but I'm not too worried about it here.

14 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

vial of metals, i'd be more comfortable if there was a limit of charge expenditure. as it is, it becomes almost impossible to block the creature without losing something.

two mana for +4/+4 isn't game breaking IMO. Titanic growth is in standard in almost perpetuity as sees almost no play outside of the the occasional infect deck. Vines of Vastwood  has that and also a conditional counterspell.

14 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

 

karata does the same thing as mentor of the meek, but cheaper.

That's exactly what she is designed to be . Notice her P/T is worse though. Your advice did inspire me to dock a toughness point.

14 hours ago, king of nowhere said:

the bands of mourning,  on the other hand, are very underwhelming. if nothing else, they should also give indestructible

 

 Added, if only for flavor. The combination of just hexproof, first strike and deathtouch is powerful protection.

 

Thanks so much for all your feedback, even if I don't adjust everything based on it, I really appreciate seeing what other people think are under or over powered. 

Edited August 24, 2019 by Peng the Just

[king of nowhere]

s ago, Peng the Just said:

 

Many cubes run Demonic Tutor which costs 2. This costs 1 more than that to let you have it as an instant.I

 

demonic tutor is banned in legacyand restricted in vintage. I think a banned card is not a good comparison.

I was basing myself on the legal equivalent, diabolic tutor

Quote

think you're mistaken? Lightning bolt costs {r} and is an instant.

lightning bolt is not restricted, but it is an early printed, very powerful card. if they stopped printing it and instead printed shock, which deals 2 damage with everything else being the same, it's because it was well above the power curve. alpha cards are also not a good comparison for power
 

Quote

 

 

I go back and forth on how I feel about this one. Keep in mind that you have to find a way to tap her, presumably attacking, for her ability to do anything.

 

that's not what it does at all. it's written "pay 2, tap: destroy target creature".

For the card to do what you said, it should be "whenever liss becomes tapped, you may pay 2: if you do, destroy target creature". and it would still be quite powerful, but presumably if you attack with it the opponent could kill it, so it would be on par with the ravenous chupacabra.

I concede your points for everything else

[Peng the Just]

Keep in mind tutors are not as good in limited as in constructed, and that’s the untap symbol, not the tap symbol.  I'll add reminder text

Edited August 24, 2019 by Peng the Just