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Majestic Fox

15-04-2019 - The Trickster Girl and the Living Cape - Short Story - 2399 words

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Something a bit different this time.. A fun little faerie tale about a girl who wants to become a trickster. 

It's a first draft so apologies for typos and any roughness that slipped in.

All feedback welcome. 

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I really enjoyed this! It's got just the right whimsy of a fairy tale, and a good structure to it. I think the only thing it's missing is the payoff at the end.
(prescriptive warning)
J needs to rescue L to show that she deserves the cape. Right now we have a cool triumph showing J knows what she's doing, but then the cape shows that it knows she cares about her friend. I think with the follow through on this part, the ending will be much more satisfying.

pg 1: "For seven years they would observe the cunning tricks of the oldest ravens, and for seven years they would seek out the secrets of the dawn hare."
--Is this 7 or 14 years, because right after, it says they get presented with a cape after 7.

pg 4: ‘If you leave, I won’t any friends.’
--missing "have"

pg 7: "for three times seven years"
--This explains the beginning.

pg 7: "as she with awe "
--missing a word

pg 9: Ahhh, that's it? I want more!


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