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War of the Stick


Karger

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This is the thread that will follow the Great Stick War of Reckoning as the people of the stick rise in rebellion against their heretical stick emperor.

Character Sheet

Type of wood-Ceder

Dropped from tree-30 days ago

Position-Acolyte in the great stick hierarchy

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This...is a thing now?

Okay, I'm that random person sitting nearby and eating popcorn. Deevy? Deevy.

(For confused people, this started on TLPW. I know. That side of the fandom is weird. Yes, I'm one of them. No, I don't regret what I said.)

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1 minute ago, Emperor Stick said:

There is NO NEED for war! I have decreed the end of all Stick burning*

It is to late for that now Pretender!  You will be stripped of your rank and title and cast out of of the stick society to dwell in the mud on the seashore among other baseless wrenches like yourself!

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3 minutes ago, Karger said:

...cast out of of the stick society to dwell in the mud on the seashore among other baseless wrenches like yourself!

Now, I'm no devout, but isn't that exactly where your Original Stick comes from?

1 minute ago, Emperor Stick said:

NOO! I will regain power! You shall see....

I'm inclined to stand with you simply because I know you better. :P

Edited by AonEne
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7 hours ago, Emperor Stick said:

NOO! I will regain power! You shall see....

Today is a day of rightness.  We will cast this one from us even as we were cast in turn.  Together my friends of the stick!  HE WILL NOT ELUDE HIS FATE!

 

7 hours ago, Emperor Stick said:

I shall turn the Church of the Stick to my side!

You?  You who preached heresy and turned brother against brother?

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1 minute ago, Emperor Stick said:

Do not force me to call the being known as Shallan to make you into fire!

The faithful have nothing to fear from her or from the dread flame but what shall she do to you?

Edited by Karger
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1 minute ago, Emperor Stick said:

Perhaps, she has not much experience, but there are other soulcasters, and I may fall, but you shall fall with me!

Cast him forth brothers to lie their until some... Human... comes upon him and uses him for... gasp... for firefood.

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21 minutes ago, Dr. Dapper said:

Your request for aid has been heeded by the 17th Shard Nonexistent Guild Coalition.

Members of the Butt Venture Fan Club, Mistborn Can And Do Make Sense Foundation, and the Shard Tax Collectors' Union have arrived to aid the Emperor.

Mwahahaha, take that you rebellious Stick!

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Join me brothers in arms cast forth this one.  He has summoned the dread Shard Tax Collector's Union.  Only through unity in this time of great strife can the faithful prevail!

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2 hours ago, AonEne said:

(For confused people, this started on TLPW. I know. That side of the fandom is weird. 

He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he... 

(A small sample of what we often end up doing)

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Let us, those faithful to the Throne be praised and rewarded by the Grat Tall Ones.

In other news, the Emperor's failthful guardian has arrived, a Knight of the Stick.

Name: Jameson "The Branch" 

Rank: Emperor's Breakguard

Has a Shardstick made from Western Red Ceder and regrowing pine armor. 

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5 minutes ago, Emperor Stick said:

Thanks, Aon. I've only been part of this forum for a few days, and I feel like you guys are already my friends.

*gets mushy* Same. The Shard is the best.

*eats more popcorn, offers some to Per*

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1 hour ago, Dr. Dapper said:

And thus it was written by the Stick Imperial Bank that all who ursurp against the Throne shall owe two and one half times their wealth. And lo, the tax collecters come, slow, yes, but unstobable, by any force known to Man, Singer or Stick. 

But hark the power of the tax shall not forever prevail for hear cometh the shard of lawyer to do battle against him.

The rebellions of the faithful thus driven back by the force so powerful did not despair for the shard of Lawyers was both great in battle and in respectability

And so the two sides prepared to clash once more gathering their allies to them

Edited by Karger
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The terrifying strength of the Lawyer is inomparable to the infinite stamina of the Union. For the Union is well protected, but hits slowly. 

And thus it was written that the roleplaying shall begin in earnest and the Breakgaurd shall have his perspective written.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jameson stood, arms crossed, observing the battlefield. The Lawyers were charging at the Union's line, but were continuously pushed back by the heavy artillery mounted in the hills. Stickquisitors cut through the battle, their Shardsticks at odds with the normal troops' weapons. Stickquisitors fought on both sides, but a majority had gone with the rebels. 

Jameson returned to his emperor's tent, taking up a position behind the throne.

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