Mason Wheeler Posted March 5, 2019 Report Share Posted March 5, 2019 I thought we had a thread like this, but I can't find it now, so I'll start one. Post your bad Cosmere jokes here. Shallan, you may be crazy, but just know that you're not alone! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mason Wheeler Posted March 5, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2019 Q: How do you get a one-armed Herdazian out of a tree? A: Wave to him. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Overlord Jebus Posted March 5, 2019 Popular Post Report Share Posted March 5, 2019 Cracks knuckles I think it's about time I immortalised this somewhere other than discord: I really love The Emperor's Soul. It's my favourite Cosmere book. It's such a matchless work of art that, when I finished it, I closed my copy and dropped it into the fireplace. 18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inky Posted March 5, 2019 Report Share Posted March 5, 2019 Jebus why Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mason Wheeler Posted March 5, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2019 (Have you read The Emperor's Soul, @Inky? It's funny if you have, and if not, explaining the joke would get into spoiler territory...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inky Posted March 5, 2019 Report Share Posted March 5, 2019 ( @Mason WheelerI get the joke it's just. Really bad) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calderis Posted March 5, 2019 Report Share Posted March 5, 2019 8 minutes ago, Inky said: ( @Mason WheelerI get the joke it's just. Really bad) Looks at post. Looks at first post. Looks at Jebus' joke. All is as it should be. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inky Posted March 5, 2019 Report Share Posted March 5, 2019 Fair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSuperLee Posted March 6, 2019 Report Share Posted March 6, 2019 Ati enters the beyond, and meets Leras. L: "Did you meet Kelsier?" A: "Yep." L: "He punch you in the face?" A: "Uh-huh." L: "...Ten bucks on Rayse being next." A: "You're on." 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ElephantEarwax Posted March 6, 2019 Report Share Posted March 6, 2019 15 hours ago, HSuperLee said: Ati enters the beyond, and meets Leras. L: "Did you meet Kelsier?" A: "Yep." L: "He punch you in the face?" A: "Uh-huh." L: "...Ten bucks on Rayse being next." A: "You're on." Thats a good joke. I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mason Wheeler Posted March 6, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2019 Q: What's it called if a Faceless Immortal says two things that can't both be true? A: A kandra-diction. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunamor Posted March 6, 2019 Report Share Posted March 6, 2019 I originally posted these in The Last Post Wins. I don’t know if they count as jokes, but I will post them here anyways. Marasi: Wayne, why are you wearing a bonnet? Wayne: Because popsicles in space. Marasi: ...What? Wayne: Triceratops beats shark. Kelsier: Say hello to my little friend! Vin: Stop introducing me to people like that! Kaladin: Lopen, what do you want to get for dinner? Lopen: Chouta. Kaladin: Are you sure? You have that every- Lopen: Chouta. Kaladin: But- Lopen: Chouta. *Kal and crew are flying to Kholinar* Adolin: Are we there yet? Kaladin: No. Adolin: How about now? Kaladin: No. Adolin: How about... now? *Kaladin ignores him* Adolin: Kaladin? Kal? Kally? Kaladindin? Kaladin? Kal? Kal? Ka... Kaladin: WHAT?! Adolin: Are we there yet? Kaladin: No!!! And if you ask one more time, I swear that as soon as we get back to Urithiru I will lash every last one of your fashion magazines all the way to Thaylenah! *Adolin immediately quiets and doesn’t speak a word for the rest of the trip* 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obnoxiousspren Posted March 10, 2019 Report Share Posted March 10, 2019 @Chaos @Overlord Jebus @WeiryWriter Here's a Shardcast inspired joke for you guys. "Where's the one place you can always get WiFi in the Cosmere? The Spiritual Realm. Everything is connected in the Spiritual Realm." 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Showman Posted March 12, 2019 Report Share Posted March 12, 2019 What type of snake can change forms? An ana-kandra. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karger Posted March 12, 2019 Report Share Posted March 12, 2019 Q. Whats spiked nasty and native to Scadrial? A. A grumpy old porcupine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mason Wheeler Posted March 12, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2019 Did you know that certain colors of Hallandren dye are considered more valuable than other colors? It's true. They have a ranking system for the whole thing, known as the Tiers of Edgli! 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ryshadium Posted March 14, 2019 Report Share Posted March 14, 2019 What’s the difference between a dysian aimian and a human? One is sleepless, the other is creepless. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mason Wheeler Posted March 14, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2019 Q: Brandon has always said that Earth doesn't exist in the world of the Cosmere, but in a hypothetical story where a Dysian Aimian worldhopper visited Earth, where would it end up? A: Seattle. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunamor Posted March 19, 2019 Report Share Posted March 19, 2019 What did the Kandra say when he turned nine and a half? I’m TenSoon! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen’sWit Posted March 30, 2019 Report Share Posted March 30, 2019 Q: Why are kandras so secretive? A: They all have skeletons in the closet! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts