HarmonicMonk

wayne jokes
Wayne quotes, where are you?

21 posts in this topic

So, 17th shard, I've been here for a while and these forums seem to have everything Brandon related. Lots of theories, a library of WoB, amazing artwork, Role playing degenerated into a baking goods war... But there is something that deserves a place, a special place, and if there isn't one yet this is my convocation for it's creation.

We need to collect those amazingly bright pieces of wisdom that Wayne is always spitting around and bring them together. So first, I'll start with this particular saying of his that has given me great insight into the true meaning of life: 

Quote

"Every man had to die. He’d always found it odd that so many died when they were old, as logic said that was the point in their lives when they’d had the most practice not dying."

Wayne's viewpoint, Shadows of Self chapter 5 (I think, don't really remember, just copied it for later and found recently)

 

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"Ain't no one what knows the cow better than the butcher, Wax" always got me

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The one I always remember is: "'Huh,' Wayne said thoughtfully. 'Tea's poisoned.'"

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26 minutes ago, I Don't Know said:

The one I always remember is: "'Huh,' Wayne said thoughtfully. 'Tea's poisoned.'"

That was a such a great linedrop. Like with one line it suddenly completely changed the tone of the scene from tinkering/talking to sudden combat

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Oh, those are nice. Another one that really got me was 

Quote

"Proper loafing requires company.One man lying about is being idle; two men lying about is a lunch break."

Wayne, Shadows of Self

 

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Stealing these from an older thread, but they do make me laugh:

Quote

Marasi: Wayne?

Voice from the darkness: He is dead, young lady. I am sorry for your loss.

Marasi: [gasp of horror]

Voice from the darkness: Yes, he was simply too handsome, too clever, and too immensely remarkable in all aspects of his existence to allow to live. It took a hundred men to bring him down, and he killed all but one. His last words were "Tell Wax...that he's a total git...and he still owes me five notes."

Marasi: Wayne!

 

Quote

 

“I need you to stay behind as we go into those slums,” Wayne said, determined to impress solemnity into his voice. “It’s not that I don’t want your help. I do. It’s just going to be too dangerous for you. You need to stay where I know you’re safe. No arguments. I’m sorry.”

“Wayne,” Wax said, walking past. “Stop talking to your hat and get over here.”

 

 

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18 hours ago, Govir said:

Stealing these from an older thread, but they do make me laugh:

Those are amazing hahahaha, I think the first one is from Alloy of Law, but the second one I'm not sure.

Here are two more:

Quote

"Don’t try,” Waxillium said. “Logic doesn’t work on Wayne.” “I bought a ward against it off a traveling fortune-teller,” Wayne explained. “It lets me add two ’n’ two and get a pickle.” “I … have no response to that,” Marasi said.

Alloy of Law

Quote

It made sense. But rich folk, they had a different word for the crapper. They’d call it a “commode” or a “washroom.” That way, when someone asked for the crapper, they knew it was a person they needed to oppress.

Shadows of Self

 

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2 hours ago, HarmonicMonk said:

Those are amazing hahahaha, I think the first one is from Alloy of Law, but the second one I'm not sure.

Yeah, first is from Alloy of Law when they find the smelting place (original Vanishers hideout). The second one is from Shadows of Self, when they're chasing Marks.

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Marasi: Zero multiplied by a thousand still equals zero.

Quote

Wayne: It does? When did the conversation become about mathamatics?

My life at school

Quote

Wayne: Aw, Wax, I told you. Things are always exploding around you.

 

Edited by beantheboy12
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Something along the lines of

 

"You have a lady friend who you would like to give my hat to?"

"No, I need it for next time I'm going to be a lady. You can have my shoes for next time you want to be a fellow!"

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5 minutes ago, BooksBeforeDeath said:

Something along the lines of

 

"You have a lady friend who you would like to give my hat to?"

"No, I need it for next time I'm going to be a lady. You can have my shoes for next time you want to be a fellow!"

Oh, yeah, the hotel in BoM. I've always wanted to see that scene fully animated and voiced because it might be the best set of interactions there.

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I've always loved this quote

Quote

Wax: "You're right of course"

Wayne: "Usually am"

"Except that one time at Lessie's birthday"

You always have to bring that up, don't you? Honest mistake.

You put dynamite in the oven, Wayne

Gotta hide a gift where nobody will look for it.

 

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These are a few that I've enjoyed.

Quote

“That hat looks ridiculous.”
“Fortunately, I can change hats,” Wayne said, “while you, sir, are stuck with that face.”

Quote

“Wayne's a little attached to that hat," Waxillium said. "He thinks it's lucky."
"It is lucky. I ain't never died while wearing that hat."

Quote

“It's all right Wayne," Waxillium said softly. "I've made a promise. I told Lord Harms I'd return Steris to him. And I will. That is that."
"Then I will remain and help," Marasi said. "That is that."
"And I could really use some food," Wayne added. "Fat is fat.” 

Quote

“Well,” Waxillium said. “Perhaps I should begin by asking after your health.”
“Perhaps you should,” Steris replied.
“Er. Yes. How’s your health?”
“Suitable.”
“So is Waxillium,” Wayne added.
They all turned to him.
“You know,” he said. “He’s wearing a suit, and all. Suitable. Ahem. Is that mahogany?” 

 

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Hahahaha, yeah @PhoenixWaffle and @Todesengel, those are some of the best.

I can't wait to replicate this thread with Lightsong's knowledge on the Warbreaker topic. Unless someone has already made it.

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     "It's a pretty good book," Wayne said,  flipping a page. "You should try it. It's about bunnies. They talk. Damnedest thing ever."

    

Edited by ElendVenture
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3 minutes ago, ElendVenture said:

"...You should try it. It's about bunnies. They talk. Damnedest rhing ever"

Can't forget the follow up: "So that's what that damnation book was about." (Just consider it censored for the quote, I can't actually type it)

Edited by Invocation
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     "Oh, Harmony!" Wayne laughed. "It's not anythin' like that, mate. Don't worry. You're pretty enough, particularly through the coppers, if you know what I mean."

     "The coppers?"

     "Sure. Word with a lot of curves, like you. You have a pretty accent too, and some nice bounce in the cloud area."

     "Dare I ask you what that is?"

     "The white, puffy things that float high above the fruitful land where the seeds are planted."

     She blushed even further. "Wayne! That might be the most crude thing anyone has ever said to me."

   "I strives for excellence mate, I strives for excellence."

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"Holding you brain hostage against your own stupidity- that was how to get stuff done."

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On 1/28/2019 at 9:33 PM, HarmonicMonk said:

So, 17th shard, I've been here for a while and these forums seem to have everything Brandon related. Lots of theories, a library of WoB, amazing artwork, Role playing degenerated into a baking goods war... But there is something that deserves a place, a special place, and if there isn't one yet this is my convocation for it's creation.

We need to collect those amazingly bright pieces of wisdom that Wayne is always spitting around and bring them together. So first, I'll start with this particular saying of his that has given me great insight into the true meaning of life: 

It's a bit outdated, but I suspect you'll get a kick out of this thread.

Edited by The Sovereign
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Something along the lines of:  

Marasi: What are those?

Wayne: You know! The white puffy things that float above the fertile area where the seeds are planted.

Marasi: Wayne! That might be the most crude thing you've ever said to me!

 

I don't know why this makes me laugh. 

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“Speaking of that, Gin. Will you swap me your hat for this one?”
“Your shoe?” Aunt Gin asked, turning back toward him.
“Sure.” Wayne said. “They’re both clothes, right?”
“What would I do with a man’s shoe?”
“Wear it the next time you’ve got to be a fella.” Wayne said. “You’ve got the perfect face for it. Good shoulders too.”

 

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