Invocation

Feedback on a prophecy

9 posts in this topic

I'm looking to include a prophecy in my next story-that-will-be-forgotten and am wondering if anyone has any feedback on this rudimentary one I constructed.

The Lightbringer shall come,

War and plague drag in their wake.

Peace shall be restored

And immortality gained.

Edited by Invocation
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Sounds rather interesting. Keep in mind 'Lightbringer' is a term that has already been used in a well known fantasy series. The immortality part certainly intrigues me. The third line feels a little superfluous considering the same information is given to us in the second line.

May I ask as to the in-universe origin of this prophecy? Some kind of oracle? Is the prophecy ancient and if so was it possibly subject to mis-translation?

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10 hours ago, Pagliacci said:

Keep in mind 'Lightbringer' is a term that has already been used in a well known fantasy series.

Wait what series? 

10 hours ago, Pagliacci said:

May I ask as to the in-universe origin of this prophecy? Some kind of oracle? Is the prophecy ancient and if so was it possibly subject to mis-translation?

They don't know where it came from, but every time a new capital is made, the first building in that capital has that appear on the wall in the native language of that area. (Or as close as you can get, so there might be some mistranslation)

10 hours ago, Pagliacci said:

The third line feels a little superfluous considering the same information is given to us in the second line.

That was a typo. Should have been "war and plague" my bad.

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3 hours ago, Invocation said:

Wait what series? 

14 hours ago, Pagliacci said:

That would be the Lightbringer series by Brent Weeks.

Is this prophecy going to be the catalyst for a plot?

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Just now, Pagliacci said:

That would be the Lightbringer series by Brent Weeks.

 

Oh. Looks like I need to find a new prophetic title.

 

1 minute ago, Pagliacci said:

Is this prophecy going to be the catalyst for a plot?

Yes.

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Anything else you'd like feedback on?

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2 hours ago, Pagliacci said:

Anything else you'd like feedback on?

I actually haven't gotten any further on the story than the basic world and that specific prophecy, so not at the moment, but thanks!

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@Invocation one last question: Does free will exist in this story?

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4 hours ago, Pagliacci said:

@Invocation one last question: Does free will exist in this story?

Technically, yes, but the prophecy remains valid because it took into account the actions of everyone, including the direct actions that lead to the prophecy being needed. In the timelines where people acted differently, the prophecy is different, as well.

Worth noting is that the initial source of the prophecy (though no one knows this) was from the last person to have a major prophecy about them and they ended up temporarily omniscient and wrote the prophecy (picture Taravangian writing the Diagram and that's a fair comparison, except this lady was actually omniscient, not just really smart).

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