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Our Dysfunctional Family


Sherlock Holmes

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On 12/8/2018 at 10:22 PM, I think I am here. said:

I want to give more detail on the Ark one.

It's like that cousin that joined one too many cults in his youth and now has a Lovecraftian demon permanently fused to his soul til the end of time, and he's like "Yeah it's just a phase don't worry about it :) "

Nothing will ever be better than this to describe me

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46 minutes ago, Ark1002 said:

Nothing will ever be better than this to describe me

This is probably true, but challenge accepted anyway. 

Ark is that kid who everyone gives sidelong glances to, trying to remember how they’re related to him, if he’s a brother or cousin or nephew or what. Then they start hoping he’s on the in-laws’ side of the family, because surely he must be ‘one of theirs, not ours’. Ark is the guy who, when a game of dodgeball (or the more sophisticated version, hitball) starts up, everyone wants to be on his team, because if they’re not there’s a good chance they’ll die. Ark is the cool uncle who does dangerous things and who makes all the moms extremely worried, yet somehow also slightly impressed. 

Yeah, Itiah’s is better :P 

14 minutes ago, ZincAboutIt said:

Unsure where I fall here. Possibly the relative who lurked in the attic for years before deciding to actually join in the party? :P Enjoys tea, gets along with the old folks, will gleefully sneak you a drink (and always spikes the punch). 

Zinc is the woman who brings the party, but is totally humble, so she’ll show up and everyone will just clamor at her, and she’s just hanging out pretending she’s not too cool for us. 

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1 minute ago, AonEne said:

Zinc is the woman who brings the party, but is totally humble, so she’ll show up and everyone will just clamor at her, and she’s just hanging out pretending she’s not too cool for us. 

Ene you're too sweet! I'm definitely not too cool for you! I'm 92% sure. ;) 

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1 hour ago, kenod said:

Fatebreaker is that old business partner of grandfather Voidus that only the other old folks knew about who suddenly came back and started getting Voidus involved in all sorts of shenanigans again.

I'm picturing a sort of "Uncle Drosselmeyer" vibe here, except instead of normal gifts, he brings all the children cursed artifacts of great and terrible power.

"Careful there, Lawrence, don't chew on the horns of that elk skull. The immortal demon living within its left eye socket doesn't like that very much." 

"Now, now, Claire, don't pout - I haven't forgotten you! This is a Hand of Glory. They chopped it off the corpse of a hanged man - isn't that nice? Yes yes, now if you stick this candle in its hand, it'll light up just for you! Now run along, there's a good girl." 

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1 hour ago, ZincAboutIt said:

I'm picturing a sort of "Uncle Drosselmeyer" vibe here, except instead of normal gifts, he brings all the children cursed artifacts of great and terrible power.

"Careful there, Lawrence, don't chew on the horns of that elk skull. The immortal demon living within its left eye socket doesn't like that very much." 

"Now, now, Claire, don't pout - I haven't forgotten you! This is a Hand of Glory. They chopped it off the corpse of a hanged man - isn't that nice? Yes yes, now if you stick this candle in its hand, it'll light up just for you! Now run along, there's a good girl." 

This is completely inaccurate! He only gives Lita the cool presents! She got a spike and a Coin and ALL DETECA GOT WAS A LECTURE. MOOOOOOOOM UNCLE FATE'S BEING MEEEAN AGAAIIINNN 

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1 minute ago, AonEne said:

This is completely inaccurate! He only gives Lita the cool presents! She got a spike and a Coin and ALL DETECA GOT WAS A LECTURE. MOOOOOOOOM UNCLE FATE'S BEING MEEEAN AGAAIIINNN 

If you want a spike you should just say so... :ph34r:

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1 minute ago, ZincAboutIt said:

And here I was convinced that TUBA was vehemently opposed to the unsolicited gifting of “presents.” 

Depends on the present. Spikes, yes, depending on how they're gifted. Magic money? No inhibitions there :P 

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3 minutes ago, AonEne said:

Depends on the present. Spikes, yes, depending on how they're gifted. Magic money? No inhibitions there :P 

Well perhaps if you're very very good and you take back all those mean things you said about the noble and glorious art of hemalurgy, the Dark Yuleman will visit you this winter tide and slip a present in between your ribs stocking.

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1 hour ago, ZincAboutIt said:

I'm picturing a sort of "Uncle Drosselmeyer" vibe here, except instead of normal gifts, he brings all the children cursed artifacts of great and terrible power.

"Careful there, Lawrence, don't chew on the horns of that elk skull. The immortal demon living within its left eye socket doesn't like that very much." 

"Now, now, Claire, don't pout - I haven't forgotten you! This is a Hand of Glory. They chopped it off the corpse of a hanged man - isn't that nice? Yes yes, now if you stick this candle in its hand, it'll light up just for you! Now run along, there's a good girl." 

Hmm, you’ve actually got somewhat close to his real name...

5 minutes ago, AonEne said:

Depends on the present. Spikes, yes, depending on how they're gifted. Magic money? No inhibitions there :P 

I’m afraid you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

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7 hours ago, ZincAboutIt said:

Well perhaps if you're very very good and you take back all those mean things you said about the noble and glorious art of hemalurgy, the Dark Yuleman will visit you this winter tide and slip a present in between your ribs stocking.

I haven’t said anything mean about Hemalurgy :P

5 hours ago, Ark1002 said:

I might just do that...

I was considering doing it, but now I’m probably going to leave it to you, because it’s convoluted and people have more than one position sometimes and weird. 

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13 minutes ago, AonEne said:

I was considering doing it, but now I’m probably going to leave it to you, because it’s convoluted and people have more than one position sometimes and weird. 

I am one of those. Someone named me far distant cousin and another one Itiah's twin, and I'm not sure how this fits together with his positions :lol:

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