The Tenth Pancake

Fantastic sarcastic bombastic wheel of time poems

13 posts in this topic

Okay first off, I have just started on wheel of Time 5 (I think... It's fires of heaven) so please be nic e17 sharders and not spoil anything beyond that okay? Thanks. (And don't judge okay. If I say anything mean about a character, it's because I'm only at the 5th book and frustrated with them) Feel free to reply with your own dinky poems. Yeet

Roses are red,

Hair can get tangled,

Nyneave Al'Meara 

Deserves to be strangled

 

Roses are red,

I like to eat bacon

Morgase's lover

Is a flipping forsaken

 

Roses are red,

Perrin has Faile,

Avienda's confusing

And so are the Aiel

 

Roses are red

Cheese is for grating

I have no idea

Why the heck I'm berating,

But hey let's be prudential

We all have that person

Who has obvious potential

And who seems to always worsen

Before you can see them get better

And that person is flipping Nyneave Al'freaking Meara

The end

 

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I'm sorry.  I made a stupid mistake.

Edited by Lidolas
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1 hour ago, Lidolas said:

Roses are red

And so is my spleen

The worst character ever

Is Amyrlin Egwene

They literally asked for no spoilers.

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Roses are red

So is my spleen

You freaking spoiled it

How dare you, you're mean

 

Roses are red,

Violets are average

Egwene in Dreamland

Is a flipping savage

 

 

Edited by The Tenth Pancake
Adding another verse
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On 12/8/2018 at 0:21 AM, Lidolas said:

[Redacted]

"Egwene" rhymes with "pain"... a missed opportunity?

Roses are red
Spoiling's a sin
But I have to mention
I can't stand Gawyn

That there's the limits of my poetical capabilities.

Edited by Just a Lifetime
Redact now-retracted poem
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On 12/7/2018 at 5:03 PM, Ookla the Seon Are said:

They literally asked for no spoilers.

Shoot!  I am the worst.....I'm sorry.  I'll edit that

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Roses are red

Barley is milled

Siuan Sanche

Is a way better character now that she's stilled

 

Roses are red

The waste is filled with rubble

Gareth Bryne tracked down the ladies

And OOOF they're in TROUBLE!!!

 

 

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Roses are red,

But I've got a feelin'

That old Thom Merrilon 

Is more than a gleeman

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Roses are red,

My favorite word is catalyst,

Who would have known

That Mat is a master strategist

 

Roses are red

The dark one's a threat

I think I'm starting to like

The character Birgette

 

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Ayt well I finished book 5 earlier and I forgot to make poems so here we go. (Book 5 climax spoilers)

Roses are red,

Morgase is dEaD

Rand needs some sense

Smacked into his head

 

Roses are red,

Melhindra was eViL

I want to pat

Poor mat on the back

That didn't rhyme whatever

 

Roses are red

There's no hecking way

Moraine is actually dead

I say nay

 

Roses are red

A leg has a calf

I think Moraine

Will pull a Gandalf

 

Roses are red

A sheep has a lamb

HOLY COW

MOGHEDIEN IS IN A'DAM

 

Roses are red

I want to relax

That was one 

Heck of a climax

 

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Roses are red
Violets are fine
Should we help Asmodean
Find some decent wine?

 

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Roses are red

Perrin has Faile

I just think it's so cute 

How Egwene is sort of an Aiel

 

Roses are red

Holy freaking rain

Nyneave Al'Meara 

Just HEALED LOGAIN

(AAAAAAAH WHAAAAAT?!?!)

 

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Since I've giv'n it a look

I can't put it down

This fantastic book

That has gained world renown

Has gotten another

To call Egwene Mother

I have fretted and worried

For the dragon reborn

And hastened and hurried

Till the pages were worn

I have hated Berlain 

With an undying loathing

And found it a pain

To deal with Perrin's moaning

I have swooned and shipped Gawyn

Totally with Egwene

And found it hard to rhyme

Those two names in these poems

And holy heck what a climax

Book six has supplied 

I hope Jordan doesn't slack

On making book seven a heck of a ride

 

Thank you, I am done.

*Mic drop* 

Sorry you had to read all that cuz the meter is wonky. Hehe...he...

 

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