Necessary Eagle Posted June 20, 2019 Report Share Posted June 20, 2019 On 5/18/2018 at 2:19 PM, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said: Some items of interest from the Shadesmar(t) mail order catalog: Always misplacing your glasses? Have another item of importance that you are always misplacing (dentures, wallet, etc)? Let our genuine Nalthian Awakener solve your problem with a simple command "Come When I Call". Never again will you struggle to find the unfindable, your precious item will always be just a call away.*Note, the item to be so awakened must needs be sent to our dispatch center in Silverlight, please allow 3 to 6 months for return delivery of awakened item. Scadrian reusable handwarmer medallions. Perfect for the gentleman adventurer heading up to the Northern frozen expanses. Using a patented system combining feruchemical brass, nicrosil, aluminum and harmonium, these amazing handwarmers can be used by anyone and are rechargeable. To recharge them, simply submerge them into piping hot water while holding them in your hand. Guaranteed to not explode 90% of the time. The Rosharan dream projector fabrial, the Dreaminator 1200. Truly a marvel of the modern age, using a patented combination of the surges of Illumination and Spiritual Adhesion this little beauty can project a fully realized visualization of the wearer's dream. Here are some testimonials from some satisfied customers: "I am now a free and liberated woman, thanks to my Dreaminator 1200. When I saw that my ex-husband dreamed of me as a chull's backside wearing a wig and lipstick, I knew that I had to set a different course in my life. I am now happily married to a merchant of the 9th dahn, and am now completely content and happy with my lot in life. Little Bobbybbob and Susieisus now have a chance for a better life, and I am comforted by the dreams of my new hubby nightly, as he dreams mostly of abstractions like continents burning with a yellow gold flame, stripe faced servants rising up and wearing the heads of their former masters in a kabuki style pantomime of destruction, while I stand atop a mountain of charred and blackened skulls, looking ravashing in a gown the color of blood. Much better than that Chull nonsense". -Tara "My most trusted associate can now sift through the subconsciously submerged yet pertinent details of my variably intelligent mind each day, and for this, I am truly grateful as it helps immensely with my drawings, particularly my diagrams." -Mr. T The Pen is mightier than the sword pen. These little beauties are made from genuine splinters of Dakhor monk bone making them impervious to any physical blunt force trauma. Truly this imperishable pen is an heirloom quality article that can be passed down for generations to come. Also, one special feature of these little gems is that in a pinch they can be used to transport their owner to a different location, but use this feature sparingly as the pen will have to be stabbed through the beating heart of another person for this effect to be so engaged. If you happen to be on Scadrial, look for our weekly ads featuring new and exciting products in your local broadsheets. The whole thread is a thing of beauty, but especially this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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