Archer

Alleyverse Characters

OP characters   25 members have voted

This poll is closed for new votes
  1. 1. Should Kane be approved?

    • Yes
      13
    • No
      10
    • No opinion
      2
  2. 2. Should the new Devaan / Hellbent be approved?

    • Yes
      18
    • No
      6
    • No opinion
      1
  3. 3. Should Master Allak be approved?

    • Yes
      10
    • No
      11
    • No opinion
      4

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1,770 posts in this topic

12 minutes ago, ElendVenture said:

He despises killing, and he nearly went insane from it while a soldier. This is constantly conflicting with the part of his morals which compel him, almost no matter the cost, to stop a deed of injustice if he sees one ocurring. He will often have to carry out punishments. If he has to kill a murderer, his sense of duty usually comes through (though not always) but leaves him torn inside. He spares lives whenever possible. As he is a Ghostblood, you can see the complications created by his morals and oaths. He will often black out from guilt if he takes many lives and nurtures a deep hatred for assassin jobs.

Dang that is some good conflict right there. I love it!

I would say that that is about 50 points of weakness.

You have a total of 115 weakness points, and 235 magic points. You still need 20 more points of weakness. Personally, I would removing the A-Bronze. It doesn't look that necessary considering he doesn't know how to use it really well.

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3 minutes ago, MacThorstenson said:

Dang that is some good conflict right there. I love it!

I would say that that is about 50 points of weakness.

You have a total of 115 weakness points, and 235 magic points. You still need 20 more points of weakness. Personally, I would removing the A-Bronze. It doesn't look that necessary considering he doesn't know how to use it really well.

Sure thing.

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1 minute ago, ElendVenture said:

Sure thing.

As in you will remove the bronze?

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Just now, MacThorstenson said:

As in you will remove the bronze?

Yes. After a long thought (two minutes) I decided that it was not worth making more weaknesses for a small power.

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Just now, ElendVenture said:

Yes. After a long thought (two minutes) I decided that it was not worth making more weaknesses for a small power.

Ok.

Sorry for the confusion, I wasn't sure if you were saying sure thing to the more weaknesses or to the bronze.

I will edit and post your bio now.

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Thank you so much. You have been very helpful, which is awesome, since I am new to this.

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Just now, ElendVenture said:

Thank you so much. You have been very helpful, which is awesome, since I am new to this.

You're welcome!

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Elend, that character conflict is great.

 

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Here are some characters I would like to be rated. I'll do some of the scoring myself, but I'm not exactly unbiased here.

Alson:

Spoiler

Name: Alson Benetaar

Physical Characteristics: Athletic build. Tall with a muscular frame

Investiture: Allomatic Electrum and Feruchemical Zinc (75 Points. Complementary combination that can be used to make a pseudo-atium effect)

Skills: skilled hand to hand combat (30) Average Melee combat training (35) Amateur projectile weapons training (35)

Equipment:
A lever action rifle custom-made called 'Ati's Hand' (Aluminium frame. Custom ammo, Long barrel, detachable scope and a stock) 
A sterrion revolver that accepts custom ammo.
A rapier made from steel with a zinc core which Alson uses as a metalmind.
A small concealed dagger.
A mistcoat and a roughs duster + hat
A collection of zinc bands, rings and various other metalminds.

Weakness: Arrogant and tends to overestimate his opponents. He also isn't experienced with different forms of investiture and can be caught off-guard easily.

Family: A wealthy father he is estranged from, but he still is supported by him. His mother died during childbirth, he has two brothers, Seb and Noah.

Home Planet: Scadrial

Backstory: Born to a wealthy merchant family, Alson Benetaar is all set to inherit his family business, a business he believes is running a trade route through all of the Basin and roughs, unbeknownst to him, it's a multi-shardworld trade route that goes from planet to planet. 

Guild: Canton of Combat

Psyche: Arrogant and Stubborn, but a natural leader and fighter.

Personality: Extroverted and brash, Alson doesn't really appreciate people who are too different from him, but he trusts easily once it's clear that they have his back.

Appearance: Angular facial features that are accompanied by scars around his eyes and hears.

Theme Song: Perfect Time, nanatsu no tazai

Fighting Style: Calculated and calm, he strikes quickly and evenly. Going for weak points and assessing the enemies fighting abilities.

Bel:

Spoiler

Name: Bel Sarehaan

Physical Characteristics: Small with a slight build that conceals a lot of strength

Investiture: Chayshan practitioner (40) Nightwacher Boon that serves as a link to Sel's cognitive realm, she uses this to directly access the Dor when performing chayshan. (20)

Skills: Expert hand to hand combat practitioner (50) Proficient survivalist (25) an excellent chef.

Equipment: 
Light armoured robes
Gloves with Aon Daa inscribed that can emit concussive force. (20)

Weakness: Bel hates blood, instead using blunt force to incapacitate. This causes a strange issue that when something draws blood from her, it will hurt much more than it should. She is aware of this. She also has a night watcher bane where she can quickly enter a state where she feels nothing and her body acts entirely on instinct. If she does this in the middle of a chayshan dance, she won't have control over her actions or differentiate friend from foe, not feeling pain she will ignore all damage to her self.

Family: Has none still alive.

Home Planet: Sel

Backstory: Born in JiinDo, she helped run a restaurant with her mother. Who was taken by illness soon after her 15th birthday. She wandered around for a while, stowing away on a trade route that toured her around the cosmere, Nalthis, Roshar and then Scadrial. Where she lives now.

Guild: Canton of Combat

Psyche: Calm and Level-headed unless she's bleeding.

Personality: Introverted and suspicious of most, she doesn't trust people easily and isn't open to anyone outside of her close friends.

Appearance: Red hair, always wearing light robes.

Theme Song: Kung fu fighting

Fighting Style: Calm and instinctive, when in a chayshan dance she is hyper aware of attacks. She doesn't block much, instead preferring to dodge and counter while her opponent is off-balance

 

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I realize you mods have a lot on your plate, so I scored this one myself, though I'm not sure how it could measure up as an epic.  Feel free to re-score it if you feel that's necessary.  

Spoiler
Name:  Can't come up with a good one, help is appreciated

Physique:  Kinda average.  Broadish, nice musculature, average hieght.

Appearence:  Wears a loose T-shirt and sweats.  Brown hair, very unruly.  Green eyes.

Investiture:  An epic.  His power is unique as far as I know.  He has the ability to make tangible reflections of himself.  All equipment and objects will also be reflected, unless the object has too much investiture.  He can make up to three including himself, and his sentience inhabits all three.  He can make them within ten feet of himself, but they can move farther apart once made.  Although his sentience inhabits all of them at once, they can only move in exactly the same way.  So, for instance, he makes them beside him, and if one raises his hand, they all do simultaneously.  Another thing, if one is obeying the laws of physics, they all can move in whatever way they want.  Again, for instance, If two are walking away from each other, and one has a wall in front of him, he can walk through the wall as long as the first relfection's path is unobstructed.  So, technically, one could be floating above him upside-down, moving in exactly the same way as the one walking normally.  A weird power, but I think it could have all sorts of interesting applications. (+75)

Skills:  A very good combatant, he has to be to be able to be a powerfulish epic.  He can mostly work with melee weapons, such as a sword or bow staff.  Mostly a bow staff. (+50)  He has almost no skill with projectile weapons like knives, a bit more with guns though.  He has rudimentary training with hand-to-hand also. (+20)

Weaknesses:  Lint rollers.  Anything sticky gives him the creeps, but lint rollers negate his power. (–20)  If he sees it, he can't make reflections, but only physical conflict can destroy his reflections, down to one.  He also has nightmares about the people he killed with the darkness, and hates the sight of blood. (–50)  This is why he usually uses a bow staff, because there is minimal blood.

Personality:  A dark man.  Hates everything, and everyone.  Not affiliated.  He's a mercenary with a short temper and a chip on his shoulder the size of a chull.  If you break his hard exterior though, you find... bitterness and hatred.

Equipment:  An investiture reinforced bow staff that will never break. (+10)  An old Tia card that he keeps around, and recharges periodically. (+20)

Backstory:  Was born on Earth.  Was made into an epic.  Worked for Obliteration before he destroyed Houston, and fled when he received a tip that the city was to be destroyed.  He wandered around the small human settlements, killing indiscriminately.  He found a card with a strange pattern scrawled into it.  He willed it to activate, when messing around, and it took him to the Alleyverse.  He suddenly found himself free from the darkness, and went about his life.  

Guild Affiliation:  None

Total: 105

@Voidus @Lord Meeker

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On 3/13/2019 at 6:07 AM, Vargo Seldon said:

I realize you mods have a lot on your plate, so I scored this one myself, though I'm not sure how it could measure up as an epic.  Feel free to re-score it if you feel that's necessary.  

  Hide contents
Name:  Can't come up with a good one, help is appreciated

Physique:  Kinda average.  Broadish, nice musculature, average hieght.

Appearence:  Wears a loose T-shirt and sweats.  Brown hair, very unruly.  Green eyes.

Investiture:  An epic.  His power is unique as far as I know.  He has the ability to make tangible reflections of himself.  All equipment and objects will also be reflected, unless the object has too much investiture.  He can make up to three including himself, and his sentience inhabits all three.  He can make them within ten feet of himself, but they can move farther apart once made.  Although his sentience inhabits all of them at once, they can only move in exactly the same way.  So, for instance, he makes them beside him, and if one raises his hand, they all do simultaneously.  Another thing, if one is obeying the laws of physics, they all can move in whatever way they want.  Again, for instance, If two are walking away from each other, and one has a wall in front of him, he can walk through the wall as long as the first relfection's path is unobstructed.  So, technically, one could be floating above him upside-down, moving in exactly the same way as the one walking normally.  A weird power, but I think it could have all sorts of interesting applications. (+75)

Skills:  A very good combatant, he has to be to be able to be a powerfulish epic.  He can mostly work with melee weapons, such as a sword or bow staff.  Mostly a bow staff. (+50)  He has almost no skill with projectile weapons like knives, a bit more with guns though.  He has rudimentary training with hand-to-hand also. (+20)

Weaknesses:  Lint rollers.  Anything sticky gives him the creeps, but lint rollers negate his power. (–20)  If he sees it, he can't make reflections, but only physical conflict can destroy his reflections, down to one.  He also has nightmares about the people he killed with the darkness, and hates the sight of blood. (–50)  This is why he usually uses a bow staff, because there is minimal blood.

Personality:  A dark man.  Hates everything, and everyone.  Not affiliated.  He's a mercenary with a short temper and a chip on his shoulder the size of a chull.  If you break his hard exterior though, you find... bitterness and hatred.

Equipment:  An investiture reinforced bow staff that will never break. (+10)  An old Tia card that he keeps around, and recharges periodically. (+20)

Backstory:  Was born on Earth.  Was made into an epic.  Worked for Obliteration before he destroyed Houston, and fled when he received a tip that the city was to be destroyed.  He wandered around the small human settlements, killing indiscriminately.  He found a card with a strange pattern scrawled into it.  He willed it to activate, when messing around, and it took him to the Alleyverse.  He suddenly found himself free from the darkness, and went about his life.  

Guild Affiliation:  None

Total: 105

@Voidus @Lord Meeker

The ability to clone oneself is a pre-existing power in mitosis and was explicitly stated to be unique to him, now this isn't the Reckoners RP so we can be a little more lenient with that and assume they just escaped Reckonerverse before being noticed.

A few points on this:
If they all mirror each other exactly then they aren't capable of moving farther away from each other because they'd all be travelling in the same direction at the same time.

Assuming you're coming up with some way around this (Potentially I suppose this depends on their position upon creation) then the power is going to be well above 75, this is multiple conditional PIs rolled into one, mixed with some straight up ignoring of physics. This is a little too outside of standards for me to accurately judge this with usual methods but I'd put it as functionally a reality warper with a PI, and from what I can gather you're implying that they can create copies of Invested items up to an extent, which is seriously problematic.

Epic ability: +200 M

Skills: Melee weapons (+50 S), hand-to-hand combat (+20)

Weaknesses: Lint roller (-0, as I've mentioned I don't usually subtract much if anything for a standard Epic weakness, it's part of the package), Hemophobic (-15 W)

Equipment: Unbreakable staff (+15), Tia card (+20) (Also, you'll need to specify the specific Tia Aon that it has, does it go to a specific location? Or a certain relative distance?)

Total: 290

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8 hours ago, Voidus said:

The ability to clone oneself is a pre-existing power in mitosis and was explicitly stated to be unique to him, now this isn't the Reckoners RP so we can be a little more lenient with that and assume they just escaped Reckonerverse before being noticed.

I'm sorry, I didn't realize this.  

8 hours ago, Voidus said:

A few points on this:
If they all mirror each other exactly then they aren't capable of moving farther away from each other because they'd all be travelling in the same direction at the same time.

Like you said below this ^, it all depends on their position relative to each other.  If they're all facing away from each other, then they can move away just by walking forwards.

8 hours ago, Voidus said:

Assuming you're coming up with some way around this (Potentially I suppose this depends on their position upon creation) then the power is going to be well above 75, this is multiple conditional PIs rolled into one, mixed with some straight up ignoring of physics. This is a little too outside of standards for me to accurately judge this with usual methods but I'd put it as functionally a reality warper with a PI, and from what I can gather you're implying that they can create copies of Invested items up to an extent, which is seriously problematic.

What I meant by creating invested items is this:  all items are invested just a little, but the higher the investiture gets, the more he can't clone them.  For instance, he'd be able to clone some copper for a mistborn, but couldn't necessarily go around making an infinite supply of stormlight.  So godmetals, plus investiture that can be harnessed by humans, he wouldn't be able to clone.

The ignoring of physics only comes of one of his clones moving normally.  If one is walking down a street, and another is walking through a wall, then the first one would have to completely obey the laws of physics.  So it's not necessarily straight up ignoring of physics.

He's slightly limited with what he can do by the fact that they can all only move in exactly the same way.  This could hamper him when he has two clones doing two different things.

9 hours ago, Voidus said:

Weaknesses: Lint roller (-0, as I've mentioned I don't usually subtract much if anything for a standard Epic weakness, it's part of the package), Hemophobic (-15 W)

I will add new weaknesses.

9 hours ago, Voidus said:

Equipment: Unbreakable staff (+15), Tia card (+20) (Also, you'll need to specify the specific Tia Aon that it has, does it go to a specific location? Or a certain relative distance?)

The Tia card only goes to a specific location.  It remains with one of his clones only (being too invested to clone).

Spoiler
Name:  Can't come up with a good one, help is appreciated

Physique:  Kinda average.  Broadish, nice musculature, average hieght.

Appearence:  Wears a loose T-shirt and sweats.  Brown hair, very unruly.  Green eyes.

Investiture:  An epic.  His power is unique as far as I know.  He has the ability to make tangible reflections of himself.  All equipment and objects will also be reflected, unless the object has too much investiture.  He can make up to three including himself, and his sentience inhabits all three.  He can make them within ten feet of himself, but they can move farther apart once made.  Although his sentience inhabits all of them at once, they can only move in exactly the same way.  So, for instance, he makes them beside him, and if one raises his hand, they all do simultaneously.  Another thing, if one is obeying the laws of physics, they all can move in whatever way they want.  Again, for instance, If two are walking away from each other, and one has a wall in front of him, he can walk through the wall as long as the first relfection's path is unobstructed.  So, technically, one could be floating above him upside-down, moving in exactly the same way as the one walking normally.  A weird power, but I think it could have all sorts of interesting applications.

Skills:  A very good combatant, he has to be to be able to be a powerfulish epic.  He can mostly work with melee weapons, such as a sword or bow staff.  Mostly a bow staff.  He has almost no skill with projectile weapons like knives, a bit more with guns though.  He has rudimentary training with hand-to-hand also.

Weaknesses:  Lint rollers.  Anything sticky gives him the creeps, but lint rollers negate his power.  If he sees it, he can't make reflections, but only physical conflict can destroy his reflections, down to one.  He also has nightmares about the people he killed with the darkness, and hates the sight of blood.  This is why he usually uses a bow staff, because there is minimal blood.  Deeply insecure, and always tries to overcompensate for his faults.  Is blind in one eye.

Personality:  A dark man.  Hates everything, and everyone.  Not affiliated.  He's a mercenary with a short temper and a chip on his shoulder the size of a chull.  If you break his hard exterior though, you find... bitterness and hatred.

Equipment:  An investiture reinforced bow staff that will never break.  An old Tia card that he keeps around, and recharges periodically.

Backstory:  Was born on Earth.  Was made into an epic.  Worked for Obliteration before he destroyed Houston, and fled when he received a tip that the city was to be destroyed.  He wandered around the small human settlements, killing indiscriminately.  He found a card with a strange pattern scrawled into it.  He willed it to activate, when messing around, and it took him to the Alleyverse.  He suddenly found himself free from the darkness, and went about his life.  

Guild Affiliation:  None

Any idea for a name?

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Quote

Name: Veil Stormrise

Physical:

     Male

     Human

    Silver hair

    A single light blue eye, the other filled with a void of darkness. 

  Wears a silver mask to conceal his identity and a black cloak over common clothes. 

Personality: Veil is a man who's seen it all, and tends to remain calm in all situations. Veil tends to avoid conflict due to his curse. 

Investiture: Skybreaker of the third ideal

Blessing: Knowledge. When Veil visited the Nightwatcher he asked simply for knowledge. This allows him to draw forth any general information, including peoples names, public or well known locations, and other facts of the sort. 

Curse/weakness: Veil has the curse to feel others pain. If someone near him suffers a wound of some sort then he feels their pain as well. Veil has developed the ability to supress this for a short amount of time (5-10 hours) but when released, he feels all the pain experienced in those past few hours. This usually sends him into a comatose state that helps his body cope with the pain. 

Eye: In the seven days war, Veil lost his left eye to a chaos marine. The essence of the chaos marine filled the space where his eye should have, leaving an inky void of darkness in place of his eye. The eye gives him the ability to analyze a person and determine their investure, and preserves his body. This gives him the appearance of a man of 20 years old, as well as the physique of one. 

Skills: Is an expert swordsman, and can use a bow quite adeptly as well. Can play just about any instrument. 

Family: Mother and Father deceased. Has a brother, not known. 

Home: "Home is where the heart is!" - Quoted from Veil

Biography: Veil has refused to tell anyone about his past. Little is known about him except that he bonded his spren at a very young age. (Still a work in progress) 

*note this is the character I've been using since the Alleyverse started. 

 

Need to have this character approved for era three! Not sure exactly how to do that,  but hope to hop back into the Alleyverse asap! 

Edited by ShardBreaker
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2 minutes ago, ShardBreaker said:

Need to have this character approved for era three! Not sure exactly how to do that,  but hope to hop back into the Alleyverse asap! 

To get this character approved, it is simple. You're doing the right thing submitting it to the thread. So! Here's how I'd score this character. Well done by the way!

Spoiler

Name: Veil Stormrise

Physical:

     Male

     Human

    Silver hair

    A single light blue eye, the other filled with a void of darkness. 

  Wears a silver mask to conceal his identity and a black cloak over common clothes. 

Investiture: Skybreaker of the third ideal [+160]

Blessing: Knowledge. When Veil visited the Nightwatcher he asked simply for knowledge. This allows him to draw forth any general information, including peoples names, public or well known locations, and other facts of the sort. [Storm it. I am both terrible at nightwatcher stuff and am not allowed to score it. I can't give an exact guess but I'd guess maybe +20] 

Curse: Veil has the curse to feel others pain. If someone near him suffers a wound of some sort then he feels their pain as well. Veil has developed the ability to supress this for a short amount of time (5-10 hours) but when released, he feels all the pain experienced in those past few hours. This usually sends him into a comatose state that helps his body cope with the pain. [-10 maybe?]

Eye: In the seven days war, Veil lost his left eye to a chaos marine. The essence of the chaos marine filled the space where his eye should have, leaving an inky void of darkness in place of his eye. The eye gives him the ability to analyze a person and determine their investure, and preserves his body. This gives him the appearance of a man of 20 years old, as well as the physique of one. [Well, I don't know. +15 maybe? Maybe less because it does similar things to your nightwatcher boon]

Skills: Is an expert swordsman [+75], and can use a bow quite adeptly as well [+45 for average skill. +30 for Ameteur]. Can play just about any instrument. [THIS ONE IS OP! INSTRUMENT PLAYING IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT ALLOWED IN ERA 3 AS OF THE GREAT CONSEQUENCES! +000000000]

Family: Mother and Father deceased. Has a brother, not known. 

Home: "Home is where the heart is!" - Quoted from Veil

Biography: Veil has refused to tell anyone about his past. Little is known about him except that he bonded his spren at a very young age. (Still a work in progress) 

*note this is the character I've been using since the Alleyverse started. 

160 +  20 - 10 + 15 + 45 + 75 = 300

But before you go and change your character a ton because he seems OP, I need to ask you a question. What were his skybreaker oaths and what effect did they have on him? The index was recently modified to include these as weaknesses. How do they restrain your character? It will be nice for the mods to have them when they score your character.

And if this character has been approved in the past, I'm not sure if they'll be guaranteed in. You'll have to ask a mod about that.

And lastly, @MacThorstenson, sorry for not putting this in the character discussion thread. But I have the last post in it and it is already storming huge.

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On 3/15/2019 at 0:52 PM, beantheboy12 said:

To get this character approved, it is simple. You're doing the right thing submitting it to the thread. So! Here's how I'd score this character. Well done by the way!

  Reveal hidden contents

Name: Veil Stormrise

Physical:

     Male

     Human

    Silver hair

    A single light blue eye, the other filled with a void of darkness. 

  Wears a silver mask to conceal his identity and a black cloak over common clothes. 

Investiture: Skybreaker of the third ideal [+160]

Blessing: Knowledge. When Veil visited the Nightwatcher he asked simply for knowledge. This allows him to draw forth any general information, including peoples names, public or well known locations, and other facts of the sort. [Storm it. I am both terrible at nightwatcher stuff and am not allowed to score it. I can't give an exact guess but I'd guess maybe +20] 

Curse: Veil has the curse to feel others pain. If someone near him suffers a wound of some sort then he feels their pain as well. Veil has developed the ability to supress this for a short amount of time (5-10 hours) but when released, he feels all the pain experienced in those past few hours. This usually sends him into a comatose state that helps his body cope with the pain. [-10 maybe?]

Eye: In the seven days war, Veil lost his left eye to a chaos marine. The essence of the chaos marine filled the space where his eye should have, leaving an inky void of darkness in place of his eye. The eye gives him the ability to analyze a person and determine their investure, and preserves his body. This gives him the appearance of a man of 20 years old, as well as the physique of one. [Well, I don't know. +15 maybe? Maybe less because it does similar things to your nightwatcher boon]

Skills: Is an expert swordsman [+75], and can use a bow quite adeptly as well [+45 for average skill. +30 for Ameteur]. Can play just about any instrument. [THIS ONE IS OP! INSTRUMENT PLAYING IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT ALLOWED IN ERA 3 AS OF THE GREAT CONSEQUENCES! +000000000]

Family: Mother and Father deceased. Has a brother, not known. 

Home: "Home is where the heart is!" - Quoted from Veil

Biography: Veil has refused to tell anyone about his past. Little is known about him except that he bonded his spren at a very young age. (Still a work in progress) 

*note this is the character I've been using since the Alleyverse started. 

160 +  20 - 10 + 15 + 45 + 75 = 300

But before you go and change your character a ton because he seems OP, I need to ask you a question. What were his skybreaker oaths and what effect did they have on him? The index was recently modified to include these as weaknesses. How do they restrain your character? It will be nice for the mods to have them when they score your character.

And if this character has been approved in the past, I'm not sure if they'll be guaranteed in. You'll have to ask a mod about that.

And lastly, @MacThorstenson, sorry for not putting this in the character discussion thread. But I have the last post in it and it is already storming huge.

 His Skybreaker oaths were: 1. Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination. (Obviously) 

2. I will put the law above else and uphold it in any situation that requires I do so. 

3. I swear to bring down those who are corrupt and power hungry, and bring order where there absence causes it. (Pretty much, he has to kill or eliminate any person who has to much power, or is not handling that power properly. If their disappearance causes problems, he'll fix them and restore peace and order) 

 So I guess his oaths aren't to restricting? So what should I exactly change @beantheboy12? (Sorry for such a late response, I've been busy) 

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2 hours ago, ShardBreaker said:

 His Skybreaker oaths were: 1. Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination. (Obviously) 

2. I will put the law above else and uphold it in any situation that requires I do so. 

3. I swear to bring down those who are corrupt and power hungry, and bring order where there absence causes it. (Pretty much, he has to kill or eliminate any person who has to much power, or is not handling that power properly. If their disappearance causes problems, he'll fix them and restore peace and order) 

 So I guess his oaths aren't to restricting? So what should I exactly change @beantheboy12? (Sorry for such a late response, I've been busy) 

Thx @beantheboy12 for the help.

K I would ask a few things about his oaths.

The first is which law does he follow? The law of whatever area he is in?

Also, Veil's third oath feels a lot more like an ideal of crusade as opposed to an ideal of dedication. If possible you might want to change that a little.

I mostly agree with Beans rating, but the nightwatcher thing I would change a little. I would say that the Eye and the nightwatcher boon together are worth about 25 points, and that the bane is about 40 points. Because this means that every time he stabs someone, he feels that stab of pain.

How long has he been training with the bow? If its been less than a year of training, then the ranking will be different than if they have been training with a bow for 1-5 years.

160 + 25 - 40 +75 + 30 or 45 = 250 or 265 is his current ranking.

That is about 145 magic points and 105-120 skill points. You need to have a maximum of 150 net points, with a maximum of 100 devoted to magic and about 50 devoted to skills. If you have extra magic points you can use them on more skill points, but I wouldn't be worried about that right now. Right now you need to work on adding a few more weaknesses.

Once you define the oaths bit more, it may be a bit more reasonable. In addition I would like to know what broke veil and caused them to bond with a spren. Depending on how broken they are that can subtract more points.

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Screenshot_2019-03-17-19-41-42_kindlephoto-26687288.png.a5b3e1c4688a2bce60b46127491cdb00.png

Okay, I'm putting a hold on Askaldar for now. Here is my new, main Alleyverse character.

 

Name: Cumbert Swishysword


Physical Characteristic: Average height, bushy beard. Strong muscled arms.


Investiture: None


Skills: Can slice fruit better than a fruit ninja. He also is very able at snatching, then slicing fruit, and is able to appear as having a limitless supply. His crumpets are heralded throughout the pirating world as the best in all of the British empire. He is also is great a piratey things, such as swinging on ropes hoisting the mainstay, or swabbing the poop deck. 


Equipment: Rapier, Hat, and crumpet making supplies.


Weakness: He hates cats. If you throw one at him he will scream like a girl (don’t tell him I told you that). He also has a deep aversion to sea monkeys, and sea fleas.


Family: His father: Bluebeard the ‘Not so Great’, was a caring father, and brought Cumbert up in the proper way. Equal parts, pastries and pirating. His mother was understanding of her husband, but did not approve of his drinking. There is not more to be said about Cumbert’s family life, unless you want to hear about his second cousin twice removed, Blackbeard, but who wants to hear about him?


Home Planet: Earth: Pre-Epic


Backstory: Cumbert Swishysword. 32nd most feared pirate of the second sea. Right behind Eric Bluebottom, and Edward ‘I’ll eat anything star shaped’. He was a fine buccaneer with a fine crew born and thrived in the seventeenth century in the rule of Great Britannia. 
He began his thieving career early, when he was only an infant. A robed group of men, that he vaguely remembered as having spikes in their eyes, were carrying platters covered in silvery metallic foil. These were inquisitors in the service of Voidus, dark lord of pastries. Though only a youth of 2 years old, Cumbert leaped upon the men of spikes. Unfortunately, due to his small stature he only landed on the first man’s foot. He clung with the strength of ten mice/squirrels/small rodents but the robed men were able to through him off. During the struggle, however, a small pastry had dropped from the platters. 
After the men had left, Cumbert delved into the spoils. Alas! These were no safe delicate pastries, but traps bearing hemalurgic spikes, as our Hero would later discover many years later. This hemalurgic spike gave Cumbert the allomantic ability of duraluminum, which increased the ferocity at which another metal inside of him burned. But, as Cumbert could not burn any other metals, the spike was useless.
Later in life, Cumbert Swishysword took up the pirating trade, from his father. His father on his dying day asked Cumbert to take up his own sword and carry on the family trade, namely: sailing the seven seas, and baking delicious crumpets to spite the savages of the mythical crumpetless Isle.
One day on the sea, Cumbert spotted a ferocious whirlpool. He tried to alert his crew, but their ears were stuffed with styrofoam peanuts. As the ship dipped toward the whirlpool, Cumbert lost his balance and fell into the waves. Only, they weren’t waves, but a crack in time and space to the Alleyverse.
Cumbert’s fall was broken by an inquisitor, so he survived. The inquisitor did not. 
Cumbert after viewing the Alleyverse in all its glory, decided that he had better go home. Unfortunately it was not so easily out as the portal was thirty-six feet overhead, and swiftly closed. Cumbert was in the Alleyverse for better or worse.


Guild: TUBA (Or at least it will be when they get wind of his crumpets.)


Psyche: Cumbert is overpowering and extremely confident. He assumes that everyone is on his side, unless he thinks they aren’t, then he will throw fruit at you. He is well meaning, unless he’s pillaging you, but a little unconscious of any damage he may be doing to you.


Personality: Boistrous and energetic. He gets his energy from dealing with people, either at sword point, or at the other end of a table in a drinking contest.


Appearance: Fair of skin, and broad of shoulder. Cumbert Swishysword, is by no means handome, but nay is he the most wrinkled apple in the barrel. 


Theme Song: “The Pirates Who Don’t do Anything” By Phil Vischer


Fighting Style: Piratical, I can assure you. With deep swings of his cutlass, a boot on the backside, and a kiwi up your nostril, is the fighting way of Cumbert Swishysword.
 

Edited by FatherTiempo
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2 hours ago, FatherTiempo said:

Screenshot_2019-03-17-19-41-42_kindlephoto-26687288.png.a5b3e1c4688a2bce60b46127491cdb00.png

Okay, I'm putting a hold on Askaldar for now. Here is my new, main Alleyverse character.

 

Name: Cumbert Swishysword


Physical Characteristic: Average height, bushy beard. Strong muscled arms.


Investiture: None


Skills: Can slice fruit better than a fruit ninja. He also is very able at snatching, then slicing fruit, and is able to appear as having a limitless supply. His crumpets are heralded throughout the pirating world as the best in all of the British empire. He is also is great a piratey things, such as swinging on ropes hoisting the mainstay, or swabbing the poop deck. 


Equipment: Rapier, Hat, and crumpet making supplies.


Weakness: He hates cats. If you throw one at him he will scream like a girl (don’t tell him I told you that). He also has a deep aversion to sea monkeys, and sea fleas.


Family: His father: Bluebeard the ‘Not so Great’, was a caring father, and brought Cumbert up in the proper way. Equal parts, pastries and pirating. His mother was understanding of her husband, but did not approve of his drinking. There is not more to be said about Cumbert’s family life, unless you want to hear about his second cousin twice removed, Blackbeard, but who wants to hear about him?


Home Planet: Earth: Pre-Epic


Backstory: Cumbert Swishysword. 32nd most feared pirate of the second sea. Right behind Eric Bluebottom, and Edward ‘I’ll eat anything star shaped’. He was a fine buccaneer with a fine crew born and thrived in the seventeenth century in the rule of Great Britannia. 
He began his thieving career early, when he was only an infant. A robed group of men, that he vaguely remembered as having spikes in their eyes, were carrying platters covered in silvery metallic foil. These were inquisitors in the service of Voidus, dark lord of pastries. Though only a youth of 2 years old, Cumbert leaped upon the men of spikes. Unfortunately, due to his small stature he only landed on the first man’s foot. He clung with the strength of ten mice/squirrels/small rodents but the robed men were able to through him off. During the struggle, however, a small pastry had dropped from the platters. 
After the men had left, Cumbert delved into the spoils. Alas! These were no safe delicate pastries, but traps bearing hemalurgic spikes, as our Hero would later discover many years later. This hemalurgic spike gave Cumbert the allomantic ability of duraluminum, which increased the ferocity at which another metal inside of him burned. But, as Cumbert could not burn any other metals, the spike was useless.
Later in life, Cumbert Swishysword took up the pirating trade, from his father. His father on his dying day asked Cumbert to take up his own sword and carry on the family trade, namely: sailing the seven seas, and baking delicious crumpets to spite the savages of the mythical crumpetless Isle.
One day on the sea, Cumbert spotted a ferocious whirlpool. He tried to alert his crew, but their ears were stuffed with styrofoam peanuts. As the ship dipped toward the whirlpool, Cumbert lost his balance and fell into the waves. Only, they weren’t waves, but a crack in time and space to the Alleyverse.
Cumbert’s fall was broken by an inquisitor, so he survived. The inquisitor did not. 
Cumbert after viewing the Alleyverse in all its glory, decided that he had better go home. Unfortunately it was not so easily out as the portal was thirty-six feet overhead, and swiftly closed. Cumbert was in the Alleyverse for better or worse.


Guild: TUBA (Or at least it will be when they get wind of his crumpets.)


Psyche: Cumbert is overpowering and extremely confident. He assumes that everyone is on his side, unless he thinks they aren’t, then he will throw fruit at you. He is well meaning, unless he’s pillaging you, but a little unconscious of any damage he may be doing to you.


Personality: Boistrous and energetic. He gets his energy from dealing with people, either at sword point, or at the other end of a table in a drinking contest.


Appearance: Fair of skin, and broad of shoulder. Cumbert Swishysword, is by no means handome, but nay is he the most wrinkled apple in the barrel. 


Theme Song: “The Pirates Who Don’t do Anything” By Phil Vischer


Fighting Style: Piratical, I can assure you. With deep swings of his cutlass, a boot on the backside, and a kiwi up your nostril, is the fighting way of Cumbert Swishysword.
 

They have been added to the character list. 

Welcome to the RP!

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Can one of the mods check two of my existing characters, KanMien and Kumiko? I want to know how many points they actually have left if I want to have them improve a bit.

Edit: Sorry, accidentally put this in the wrong thread. If one of the mods sees this, can you move it the discussions thread? Thanks.

Edited by kenod
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Hi-lo, new character here!

Spoiler

Name: The Mailman

Epic Power: Floats half an inch off the surface beneath him at all times

Weakness: Receiving mail

Skills: He’s good at the piano

Equipment: A brown messenger bag and a shotgun

Affiliations: Ghost Bloods & Alleyzon

Home Planet: Alleyplanet

Psyche: Mentally unstable

Physical Characteristics: 6’ 7”, blue eyes, gray hair, light brown skin

Appearance: Wears a blue mailman hat, a blue button up shirt, blue pants, and black boots. He has a thick beard and usually keeps most of his hair under his hat.

Personality: Polite with a slight edge of rudeness

Backstory: He was born in an alley in the Alleycity and was abandoned by his mother. He was then raised by a homeless couple for fourteen years until they were both hit by a car speeding down the road. He then seeked out a group for him to belong to, eventually joining the Ghost Bloods and taking a job as a mailman for Alleyzon.

 

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