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Archer

OP character approval  

34 members have voted

  1. 1. Should Legend (Page 89) be approved?

    • Yes
      14
    • No
      20

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On 2/7/2019 at 10:08 PM, Invocation said:

Okay, so trust me on this, he may seem OP at first, but that leg thing is a killer. In just about every scenario it's a major detriment.

  Reveal hidden contents

Name: Connor O'Mailey

Epic Name: Volatile

Physical Characteristics: 6'3", messy red hair, blue eyes (yes I know, strange combo), scar running up right leg (ankle to about three-quarters of the way to the knee), full beard, looks like he could bench-press an elephant.

Epic Powerset: 
Class A Explosions (melding of the two Class C powers)
Class C Fire Manipulation (can become fire, fly, shoot fire, etc. Qualifies as a Prime Invincibility)
Class C Altered Sweat Glands (sweats nitroglycerin like it was normal sweat. combines with ^ to make Explosions)

Skills: Punch/Explosion combo

Equipment: Sunglasses. 

Weakness: Small spaces begin to negate his powers. The smaller the space, the more effect it has. More effective when covering large amounts of his skin, too.
Had a leg break that healed incorrectly, even with surgery, so he has trouble running or walking fast for very long. Some days he can't walk at all, and it
pains him constantly even when he can walk, leading to a fairly pronounced limp.

Family: Killed them with the rise of Calamity. 

Home Planet: Earth (Reckoners)

Backstory: He was just shy of his 18th birthday when Calamity rose. Went mad once the powers came and killed his family, burning their house down around
them. Spent the years of Calamity's activities ruling Oak Ridge, TN, before another Epic tried to take over. The other Epic teleported him somewhere he
didn't know, or even knew existed: Alleycity, just outside the Odd Job Tavern.

Guild: TUBA

Personality: Brash, fiery, confident always, cocky even. Doesn't like to work under people. Feels no guilt over what he's done. He is determined to get back
to his old stomping ground and reclaim it from the one who gave him the boot to continue making his mark on history.

Theme Song: The Score - Legend

Fighting Style: In your face, punchy-punchy.

 

If you could, could you give rough estimates for different rooms and how they would affect his power? Like is a normal sized room going to affect him? Will a closet? How much? The leg thing is definitely up there, but I want to be able to rank the claustrophobia as well.

 

@beantheboy12 I second what Voidus said about it being counted as equipment for another character. I would count is as a bit more than shard plate. Its heavily invested, can be reformed on demand, and could probably stop a few bullets, like a shardplate. I would add 50 points to whatever character it is applied to.

In addition you need to work on the backstory like Voidus said. Two people in the history of the Cosmere created a type 4 awakened object. Creating one as complex as this is going to be substantially harder.

Edited by MacThorstenson
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39 minutes ago, MacThorstenson said:

If you could, could you give rough estimates for different rooms and how they would affect his power? Like is a normal sized room going to affect him? Will a closet? How much? The leg thing is definitely up there, but I want to be able to rank the claustrophobia as well.

 

A normal sized room will not affect him, but a closed-in pantry will begin to dampen his powers. If he's touching the walls/ceiling just by being there his powers will be cut significantly. 

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24 minutes ago, Invocation said:

A normal sized room will not affect him, but a closed-in pantry will begin to dampen his powers. If he's touching the walls/ceiling just by being there his powers will be cut significantly. 

With that information I would say that it is definitely allowed. -25 for the leg and -10 for the claustrophobia.

@Voidus could you add it to the character list? I still don't have mod powers.

 

Edited by MacThorstenson
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Okay then, good to know with the magic systems! I guess that’s kinda common sense when you think about it. I like the Epic idea a lot too, since it doesn’t require too much of a change in backstory and with Epic powers you can pretty much do anything you want. Thanks guys! :D

Spoiler

Name: Johnny Nolastname

Gender: Male

Appearance: About what you’d expect your average, white, brown-haired, 15 year old kid from Arizona to look like when he’s been thrown into a world like this. Dark blue eyes. 5’ 10”. Likes blue jackets. Always losing them.

Ability: Cursed with “Protagonist’s Convenience” by Invocation (his term for it), objects appear on him. No transition, no special effects. Suddenly there’s a bucket of popcorn in his hand and he has no idea where it came from. This applies for literally any object, vehicle, or clothing that affects him personally. He can’t control it, he has yet to summon anything at a distance—no teleporting sticks of dynamite onto someone’s lap from 50 yards away—he honestly just wishes he knew how to get home.

tl;dr: While he has no innate skill, his equipment and armor can change without notice to convenience him, although he can’t control it.

Personality: Completely not in the mood for a fight. I like having some character development, so I’d like for him to go from “Panicked and scared” to “casually watching the show from the sidelines.” A complete teddy bear, doesn’t like hurting people, doesn’t like tension, but also doesn’t like massive jerks. Honestly just wants to live. 

Weaknesses: Has utterly no control over his powers. Things just happen. Sometimes they seem to happen just to make someone mad at him. He’s literally just a kid from Arizona, no skill, no powers, nothing special. His “plot armor” ability is the only reason he keeps on living. His panicky nature means that even if his ability summons something super useful, if he doesn’t have the presence of mind to use it, he can’t use it. But besides that fact he also has his Epic Weakness, anything to do with Shrek. When the movies came out when Johnny was a kid, they gave him endless nightmares, and his older brother wouldn’t stop teasing him about it. He’s never liked that character since. Now that it can literally cause his death, he really doesn’t like him. 

tl;dr: Shrek or any Shrek-associated merchandise or intellectual properties negate his powers

Backstory: He was a completely normal kid trying to survive Junior year in high school. Then one day Invocation cursed him with powers he couldn’t control or understand. After a day of mental breakdowns, panicking parents and general mayhem, a portal opened up under his feet. He woke up in a world filled with abominations and dangerous individuals. His last name has a funny history. Back when last names were first given to the people in Western Europe, his incredibly stubborn grandfather insisted that they have “No Last Name”. The guys in charge of recording the names put that down as his. It’s been passed down ever since.

Guild: Unaffiliated for now. Totally those guys over at “Fortress Eternal” later at some point. Let’s see how this goes :D

I made his Epic weakness Shrek for two reasons: 1. I want it to be obscure enough that people can’t make my already powers-dependent boi utterly defenseless whenever they like, and 2. If they were to do that, they have to suffer the indignity of having their character associated with Shrek XD 

Sorry if copying my character here again wasn’t the right call, still pretty new to this and I figured I’d make it easier for Mr. Character Judge to see that I fixed him :P

Also I had him Epic’d by Invocation instead of Calamity so he could stay true to his character without having to deal with corruption. I assume this is okay, since Invocation *is* a character mentioned in a Sanderson a Book that gives powers. 

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6 minutes ago, The Technovore said:

Okay then, good to know with the magic systems! I guess that’s kinda common sense when you think about it. I like the Epic idea a lot too, since it doesn’t require too much of a change in backstory and with Epic powers you can pretty much do anything you want. Thanks guys! :D

  Reveal hidden contents

Name: Johnny Nolastname

Gender: Male

Appearance: About what you’d expect your average, white, brown-haired, 15 year old kid from Arizona to look like when he’s been thrown into a world like this. Dark blue eyes. 5’ 10”. Likes blue jackets. Always losing them.

Ability: Cursed with “Protagonist’s Convenience” by Invocation (his term for it), objects appear on him. No transition, no special effects. Suddenly there’s a bucket of popcorn in his hand and he has no idea where it came from. This applies for literally any object, vehicle, or clothing that affects him personally. He can’t control it, he has yet to summon anything at a distance—no teleporting sticks of dynamite onto someone’s lap from 50 yards away—he honestly just wishes he knew how to get home.

tl;dr: While he has no innate skill, his equipment and armor can change without notice to convenience him, although he can’t control it.

Personality: Completely not in the mood for a fight. I like having some character development, so I’d like for him to go from “Panicked and scared” to “casually watching the show from the sidelines.” A complete teddy bear, doesn’t like hurting people, doesn’t like tension, but also doesn’t like massive jerks. Honestly just wants to live. 

Weaknesses: Has utterly no control over his powers. Things just happen. Sometimes they seem to happen just to make someone mad at him. He’s literally just a kid from Arizona, no skill, no powers, nothing special. His “plot armor” ability is the only reason he keeps on living. His panicky nature means that even if his ability summons something super useful, if he doesn’t have the presence of mind to use it, he can’t use it. But besides that fact he also has his Epic Weakness, anything to do with Shrek. When the movies came out when Johnny was a kid, they gave him endless nightmares, and his older brother wouldn’t stop teasing him about it. He’s never liked that character since. Now that it can literally cause his death, he really doesn’t like him. 

tl;dr: Shrek or any Shrek-associated merchandise or intellectual properties negate his powers

Backstory: He was a completely normal kid trying to survive Junior year in high school. Then one day Invocation cursed him with powers he couldn’t control or understand. After a day of mental breakdowns, panicking parents and general mayhem, a portal opened up under his feet. He woke up in a world filled with abominations and dangerous individuals. His last name has a funny history. Back when last names were first given to the people in Western Europe, his incredibly stubborn grandfather insisted that they have “No Last Name”. The guys in charge of recording the names put that down as his. It’s been passed down ever since.

Guild: Unaffiliated for now. Totally those guys over at “Fortress Eternal” later at some point. Let’s see how this goes :D

I made his Epic weakness Shrek for two reasons: 1. I want it to be obscure enough that people can’t make my already powers-dependent boi utterly defenseless whenever they like, and 2. If they were to do that, they have to suffer the indignity of having their character associated with Shrek XD 

Sorry if copying my character here again wasn’t the right call, still pretty new to this and I figured I’d make it easier for Mr. Character Judge to see that I fixed him :P

Also I had him Epic’d by Invocation instead of Calamity so he could stay true to his character without having to deal with corruption. I assume this is okay, since Invocation *is* a character mentioned in a Sanderson a Book that gives powers. 

Welcome to the RP!

I have a hunch that your character is OK, or at least close to being so, but we will need to ping @Voidus for the final ranking. He has a system for ranking Epic powers.

I think that something that will be taken into account with the character is that he's just a kid, so not quite fully grown, mentally or physically. He hasn't been trained for combat situations, and may panic. I think that a combination of those two things will take off a few points.

His ability is definitely a powerful one, so by some measures could be OP because you don't have any outside limits on what he can have, but I will leave the final ranking to Voidus

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@MacThorstenson @Voidus

I am currently developing white steel and I am not entirely sure, but I think the host guy is making a new character. So it should work out.

And as for the backstory, you’re right. I have one spinning around in my head involving a tyrannical returned. I’ll write a new one and send it here.

And also sorry about double posting. I won’t do it again. :mellow:

 

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Spoiler

Alleyplanet (Alleyverse)

User of Voidmaking: Rank on a scale of one to ten based on willpower, strength, and experience. Multiply by five and add 65.

Example: A voidmaker who recently received their powers, has limited offensive capabilities, and a standard level of magic suppression ability: +70

*Yeti: +80

*Oceanic Singer: +20

*Frostblood: +90

*Anu: +10 for female, +5 for male, +35 for Zmel Anu

There is at least two more, but as they are part of a plot and won't be revealed in full for a while, I'm not going to add them yet.

Here's the species bio for each.

Yeti:

Spoiler

Appearance:Yeti_-_FB-C.png.4a3fee0b9f2757dc31d85724f222e317.png.6759afe5277c625b15e0dc6dc30beddb.png(Average about 25 feet tall)

Abilities: Feruchemic brass, frost breath (Like Guruthos but miniature). Claws have slow acting poison that causes rashes and swelling at first, within a day will make the flesh melt off of a human's bones, and fur secretes toxin that causes paralyzation.

Origin: They live in the Goldhaven Mountains and the colder places on the other side of the world, very rare, they live in tribes, territorial and very much against leaving territories except to strike at others, maybe forty tribes in the world. They don't speak english, but have a language. Savage, will kill humans on sight.

Intelligence: Same as the average Koloss

Culture:

Spoiler

Yeti Tribal Culture:

Yeti tribal culture is predominantly based on strength and ability. Hunting prowess and magical ability often are more valued than other skills. It is not uncommon for Yetis to fight each other to show off strengths.

Ranks:

Yetis are not very smart, but they still have a rudimentary caste system regardless, which consists of five ranks. But instead of wealth or affluence determining rank, fights do. To progress to a higher rank, Yetis must consecutively beat two Yetis from that rank. To descend, Yetis must consecutively lose to two Yetis from the lower rank.

Ranks roughly translate, from lowest to highest, as Frail-ones, Weak-ones, Fight-ones, Big-ones, and The Roar.

Frail-ones: The lowest in the ranks, they are indentified by their scent, as they smear themselves with the blood of arctic rabbits. They are commonly used as punching bags for higher ranks, are only barely fed what has been hunted, and are not allowed to hunt. If bait is needed to attract animals, they are it. Are regarded as basically animals by other Yetis to slaughter at their will.

Weak-ones: Slightly better conditions than Frail-ones, they are not allowed to hunt, but are allowed to scout out protential areas for food. Are fed minimally but better than Frail-ones, and do things like build huts, and raise children. All children start out as Weak-ones. Are regarded as cowards by other Yetis, and are spat on. They are recognised by their scent, which is the blood of mountain goats, which they smear over themselves.

Fight-ones: Named because they are most likely to get into fights for strength, they are allowed to hunt and do so regularly. They do things like hunt, eat, and fight each other. They are by all means a middle class. Most Yetis are either Fight-ones or Frail-ones. Are regarded as average. They smear the blood of arctic foxes on them, are recognized by their scent.

Big-ones: The strongest of Yetis are this rank. They have extra privileges, as Yetis with smaller ranks will make way for them. They often hunt alone, as opposed to Fight-ones hunting in groups, and get more rations in general. They like to show off by killing smaller Yetis to assert strength. Are recognised by the scent of polar bear blood smeared on them.

The Roar: The leader. Anything they say goes. Every Big-one wants to fight them. They have to win against the current Roar twice in a row to become one themselves. If a current Roar is replaced, they become a Big-one, but are commonly executed anyway by the new Roar so they don’t prove a threat. The Roar is smeared with the blood of other Yetis, and is recognized by that.

Fights:

Fights can happen at anytime between two Yetis. If they are of the same rank, nothing happens to the winner or loser except for humiliation of the loser. If they are of different ranks, and the lower-ranked one loses, they are killed. If the higher ranked one loses, they are spared, but if they lose again, they are demoted.

Any Yeti can indiscriminately kill any Yeti in a rank under them.

 

Oceanic Singer:

Spoiler

Appearance: Similar to regular Singer’s in base form, they have a different set of forms, those known of are Lobsterform, Currentform, and Bubbleform. Lobsterform is reminiscent of Warform. They have strong shells covering their body, the gills are on their sides, claws adorn their feet and one hand, one is a massive, sharp pincher. Their coloring tends to be a bright red on their pincher and shells, though any regular skin stays the same as normal. Currentform has gills on the neck, a smoother upper body and face, amplifies the bust on females, making it easier to tell the difference between genders, and has a fishlike tail, though with hard plates covering portions. They have the normal seafoam green base, with spirals of aqua blue. Bubbleform has four limbs, all regular, but two skin flaps on the back that can be filled with air quickly, and used to reach the surface. Gills are on their back, by the flaps, and this is the only form to have minimal use of lungs, though after an hour it would likely result in death. They also have the default coloring, but with pink tinting on their arms and back.

Abilities: Lobsterform is very strong, has armor, and can crush rocks and bend metal with the big claw, along with blast water from a small hole in the claw. Currentform swims incredibly quickly, and has the most normal mind. Bubbleform has the bubbles, can breath air, and are the only known form capable of mating.

Origin: They’ve been around at least as long as the Old Anu,They have a massive civilization.

Frostblood:

Spoiler

https://coppermind.net/wiki/Siah_Aimian

Appearance: They appear like a Siah Aimian, but have arms that function like Kandra's, except always bright blue.

Abilities: Their body is so cold that it freezes humans on contact, and they leave a trail of frost behind them. Their Kandra body parts can harden to the point that they can block a sword, eliminating the need for bones in their arms. One in thirty have Feruchemical Brass, allowing them to become even colder.

Weaknesses: Heat over a hundred degrees kills them, they become weak at over ninety. This doesn't work for the Feruchemical Brass ferrings. Their normal body can be killed easily if you hit the heart, though as with Siah Aimians, they can heal fairly well.

Origin: They were an abandoned experiment in the early, early days of the Alleyverse, they lived in the Goldhaven mountains, where they evolved into this form, no longer a spiked creature, they still live there.

Intelligence: Human level

Anu:

Spoiler

Appearance: Large black eyes, twice human size. Pale blue tattoos in face, marking rank. Skin is a pale purple, with darker spots that get to violet. Males and females primarily wear black wraps around the torso, though the richer may have deep purple with gold thread. In physical strength and height, females tend to be more than males, usually ranging from five to six feet, sometimes up to seven. Males are smaller, maybe four to five feet, though some reach five and a half, and have a lesser amount of strength. Their heads have an expanse of feelers that they usually have slicked back, ranging from deep velvet to pink. They have four arms, each with blue fingernails and six fingers, their feet have three toes.

Abilities: Anu have a heritage of Oculatory powers, and their islands have sands. They also occasionaly manifest Zmel, the ability to secrete deadly poison from their hands.

@Voidus @Lord Meeker

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40 minutes ago, The Technovore said:

Okay then, good to know with the magic systems! I guess that’s kinda common sense when you think about it. I like the Epic idea a lot too, since it doesn’t require too much of a change in backstory and with Epic powers you can pretty much do anything you want. Thanks guys! :D

  Hide contents

Name: Johnny Nolastname

Gender: Male

Appearance: About what you’d expect your average, white, brown-haired, 15 year old kid from Arizona to look like when he’s been thrown into a world like this. Dark blue eyes. 5’ 10”. Likes blue jackets. Always losing them.

Ability: Cursed with “Protagonist’s Convenience” by Invocation (his term for it), objects appear on him. No transition, no special effects. Suddenly there’s a bucket of popcorn in his hand and he has no idea where it came from. This applies for literally any object, vehicle, or clothing that affects him personally. He can’t control it, he has yet to summon anything at a distance—no teleporting sticks of dynamite onto someone’s lap from 50 yards away—he honestly just wishes he knew how to get home.

tl;dr: While he has no innate skill, his equipment and armor can change without notice to convenience him, although he can’t control it.

Personality: Completely not in the mood for a fight. I like having some character development, so I’d like for him to go from “Panicked and scared” to “casually watching the show from the sidelines.” A complete teddy bear, doesn’t like hurting people, doesn’t like tension, but also doesn’t like massive jerks. Honestly just wants to live. 

Weaknesses: Has utterly no control over his powers. Things just happen. Sometimes they seem to happen just to make someone mad at him. He’s literally just a kid from Arizona, no skill, no powers, nothing special. His “plot armor” ability is the only reason he keeps on living. His panicky nature means that even if his ability summons something super useful, if he doesn’t have the presence of mind to use it, he can’t use it. But besides that fact he also has his Epic Weakness, anything to do with Shrek. When the movies came out when Johnny was a kid, they gave him endless nightmares, and his older brother wouldn’t stop teasing him about it. He’s never liked that character since. Now that it can literally cause his death, he really doesn’t like him. 

tl;dr: Shrek or any Shrek-associated merchandise or intellectual properties negate his powers

Backstory: He was a completely normal kid trying to survive Junior year in high school. Then one day Invocation cursed him with powers he couldn’t control or understand. After a day of mental breakdowns, panicking parents and general mayhem, a portal opened up under his feet. He woke up in a world filled with abominations and dangerous individuals. His last name has a funny history. Back when last names were first given to the people in Western Europe, his incredibly stubborn grandfather insisted that they have “No Last Name”. The guys in charge of recording the names put that down as his. It’s been passed down ever since.

Guild: Unaffiliated for now. Totally those guys over at “Fortress Eternal” later at some point. Let’s see how this goes :D

I made his Epic weakness Shrek for two reasons: 1. I want it to be obscure enough that people can’t make my already powers-dependent boi utterly defenseless whenever they like, and 2. If they were to do that, they have to suffer the indignity of having their character associated with Shrek XD 

Sorry if copying my character here again wasn’t the right call, still pretty new to this and I figured I’d make it easier for Mr. Character Judge to see that I fixed him :P

Also I had him Epic’d by Invocation instead of Calamity so he could stay true to his character without having to deal with corruption. I assume this is okay, since Invocation *is* a character mentioned in a Sanderson a Book that gives powers. 

This is one of the powers that's outside my usual scoring methods, there's a lot in there that suggests attempts to keep the powers within reason (lack of control, avoiding fights, etc.) but really this ability is a sliding scale anywhere from mildly convenient but not really dangerous (Never has to look for keys, infinite snack supplies) to completely overpowered (Oh hey look, a giant hunk of Lerasium and all the Honorblades! Sure was lucky they were all in my pocket!) so this is really going to be on you to maintain realistic levels of limitations.

If the others are ok with it I'd suggest allowing the character with the caveat that some things may be ruled as impossible further down the line. For example an obvious one is not being able to summon highly Invested items like Lerasium, Honourblades, Nightblood, etc.
Dead Shardblades might be ok but those should definitely represent the upper limit, anything beyond that gets too far into OP territory. And probably no Harmonium fueled technology or unsealed medallions.

Summoning power - 100
Invocationverse - 20

Total 120 M
I think the weaknesses balance it out to be within the standard hundred.

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New backstory for white steel:

Spoiler

On the other side of Nalthus, a man returned. He was a marvel to this continent and by the end of his week long period, he was dying. However, he was enlightened by Endowment about the nature of breath and returned. He scrambled to receive a breath from someone and eventually gained one from one generous woman.

For years he scrambled to survive off of other people’s breaths. Once he had enough to survive for a while, he began to experiment with what Endowment called, “Awakening.” She taught him the basics and over time, he learned basic commands and became the first awakened on this continent.

One day, he met a recently returned woman scrambling for help in surviving as a returned. But he saw an opportunity. He had her say the command to give up one’s breath and stole her divine breath.

At this point, he felt invincible and began to rob people of their breaths out of sheer greed. He recruited an army who helped him destroy the entirety of rural communities and steal their breath.

Having been taught by Endowment about all four types of biochromatic entities, he began to experiment with parts to assemble the ultimate weapon. And after decades of work, he invented “The godly armor.” A suit so powerful and loyal that he could defeat the stronger kingdoms of the continent and become the emperor. He began to march his armies against the remaining kingdoms and one by one, they fell.

But he couldn’t make it perfect. With only two more kingdoms surviving, the returned died of exposure to the godly armor. It was quickly taken up by his second in command who conquered the continent, but died of exposure as well.

Endowment realized the consequences of her mistake and banished the armor from the physical realm, sending it to shadesmar where it could no longer destroy her world.

It was found by a world hopper who took it, and discovered it’s power. He taught the armor of gunpowder and music. He then carried it with him from world to world before dying of exposure.

He was found once again and received his nickname and killed his master once again. And then, he was brought to Alley City where he resides now.

 

Edited by beantheboy12
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USo Mac scored white steel at 50 points which I believe is not right. If that was the case, good luck beating his holder. Here is how I would score him based on his fighting attributes.

Armor: [10] The armor is simple. It defends from a few strikes. The real killer is in the mending. But I put that many points because it cannot be pushed or cut by shardblades

Mending: [20] I rated this with respect to shardplate. White steel would lose a great deal of components if he was hit by a war hammer, but he would mend. He could block roughly 4 shots from a parshendi warhammet and shardplate could block 6. So a total of 30 for defense next to shardplate’s 40 seems fair.

Movement aiding: [5] In reality, this will only stop someone from tiring and aid their strength barely. No reflexes. And once again, next to shardplate’s 40, 35 is fair.

Gunpowder: [30] This is his prime offensive capability. Explosions outside his armor result in deveststing close combat and preventing being grabbed. Compared to the surge of division, this feels fair.

Shape Changing: [5] Other than mending, this does nothing but provide weapons and grab on to things. Not that powerful or unique.

Total: [70] (Previously 80. I miscalculated)

Edited by beantheboy12
Miscalculation
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@beantheboy12 I did forget about the gunpowder, that would certainly raise the point values a lot.

I would add that it probably can defend against shard blade, it is heavily invested and that would certainly inhibit a shardblades cutting ability. 

Could you go into more depth about the gunpowder ability? What would you envision it being able to do? 

Edited by MacThorstenson
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@Ark1002 the underwater Singers are fine, Frostbloods are probably ok, but for the others they're a pretty significant divergence from standard cosmere critters, I do like expanding our bestiary but I'll need to talk to our mods to see what we want our policy to be on this, it may require community approval. Hopefully should be able to get back to you soon but we've got a lot of stuff to get through at the moment so it may be a little backlogged.

@beantheboy12 I'll discuss this with the other AV mods too, my main concern is that you've made this a Type-IV entity which are insanely powerful. Nightblood is the scariest thing outside of a Shard that we've seen in the cosmere so I feel like giving that to someone is going to make them OP by default. I don't really have a problem with the abilities as you've laid them out but the abilities of a type-IV armour should be beyond that IMO.
If you want to make it just a suit of power-armour that has those properties (Fabrial tech maybe?) then I'd happily agree as long as the other mods did too, but if you still want it to be Awakened I'm going to stay a little concerned. I'll talk it out with the other mods and see if we can come to a conclusion.

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@Ark1002 I looked over X, that's 20 for the koloss and 80 for the Dakhor.

That should be fine but quick questions about the equipment. What's the modified heart? The vibrasword should be good, but how much more damage is more damage, does the vibrations just tear tissue and organs? Or are they strong enough to break bones?

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16 minutes ago, MacThorstenson said:

@Ark1002 I looked over X, that's 20 for the koloss and 80 for the Dakhor.

That should be fine but quick questions about the equipment. What's the modified heart? The vibrasword should be good, but how much more damage is more damage, does the vibrations just tear tissue and organs? Or are they strong enough to break bones?

It's to the level that if left in a wall for an hour or two it would cut down maybe three feet, in drywall. It wouldn't break bones, unless they hit hard enough to do so already. It would, in that case, probably make the damage worse, but it wouldn't on it's own do it.

The modified heart just means it will take a long time for her to die of the Koloss heart failure they suffer from.

Edited by Ark1002
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41 minutes ago, Voidus said:

 I'll discuss this with the other AV mods too, my main concern is that you've made this a Type-IV entity which are insanely powerful. Nightblood is the scariest thing outside of a Shard that we've seen in the cosmere so I feel like giving that to someone is going to make them OP by default. I don't really have a problem with the abilities as you've laid them out but the abilities of a type-IV armour should be beyond that IMO.
If you want to make it just a suit of power-armour that has those properties (Fabrial tech maybe?) then I'd happily agree as long as the other mods did too, but if you still want it to be Awakened I'm going to stay a little concerned. I'll talk it out with the other mods and see if we can come to a conclusion.

I mean, fabrial armor would work, just preferably not. It would work, but the fundamental principal for white steel was the type four entity. Not the abilities themselves. Since it wasn’t designed to destroy like nightblood was, there really is nothing special about it other than the fact that it talks. I don’t entirely see the issue with it though.

Edited by beantheboy12
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On 2/9/2019 at 9:13 AM, MacThorstenson said:

Here are your characters @Darth Woodrack, sorry they took so long. I made comments on all of them, please try to respond to them all. My comments are in bold.

Silva Rey, Space Marine.

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Chapter: Raven Guard

Gender: Female

Investiture: She is a sandmaster who can control up to 5 strands at any one time, but is not very good with them, and usually just uses them in brute force attacks

Physical Appearance: Before the space marine augmentations, she was projected to be relatively short, at five feet tall, so her augmentations only brought her to 6' 5, and is built pretty much like a smaller scaled normal space marine. She has red eyes, and dark red hair that she keeps long, so that when she isn't wearing her armor, goes down to just below her shoulders.

Armor: Her armor is customized to lessen in protection, in favor of mobility. It has a jump pack that is modified so the thrusters are hidden within the back of the armor and can move, and readjust. The armor is minimized in weight and designed to be as small as possible, while still providing pretty much the same level of enhancements, with a defensive cost. The armor is colored black with red secondary coloration.

Personality: She is very loyal to the black Crusade, and fairly arrogant. She is fairly kind, but will kill her enemies without question.

Weapons. She has a pair of lightning claws strapped to either of her legs, and has a Lightning bolt gun on her back that she took from a chaos marine she killed. The gun has a box mag, and is loaded with kraken penetrator rounds. She also has an Accatran Pattern Mark 2 Laspistol.

Weakness: She is arrogant and brash, and has any weaknesses that come with being a space marine. She is also a hit and runner and will struggle in an extended fight

Backstory: When she was born her parents gave her to the black crusade, and she spent the next twelve years of her life training without enhancements before going through them, as a member of raven chapter. She then spent another several years training before going into the field, specialising in hit and run attacks where she repeatedly charges through enemy lines, killing anyone she comes across, and she excelled in defeating her space marine sparing mates quickly, using her jump pack to get out of the way of her hits. At the end of her training she rose through the ranks of her chapter quickly, and soon led her own squad, which was very successful, until her CO turned to chaos marine, and got her entire squad, apart from her killed, and she now wants him dead, as much as she can, without violating the code fo the crusade.

Guild Affiliation: Black Crusade

Space marine: 45 (assuming none of their weapons) (+40 with all the weapons)
Sand master: 45
Weakness: -7

She is well within point values, unless you add the weapons. Then you will need 23 points of weakness to make them within the points values.

Will she get the other weapons?


Sarah Drown, Walker's Niece(I might have said cousin at one point. My mistake.)

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Powers: Rebirth, and shortrange, rapid teleportation. She can teleport 1500 times in a period without sleep, and 50 times in a minute. Her rebirth works by creating a room, where when she dies, she will be reborn 24 hours after she dies. Someone else can create this room, by taking an invincible rock that she has also created, and putting it in the center of a closed room. She regenerates in the physical state she was 24 hours before she died, or at the state she last regenerated in.

Gender: Female

Age: 17

Skills: Fairly good fighter, 30-55 (10 for amature hand to hand, 20 for amature melee, not sure how experienced she is as a fighter, probably something in between), average marksman, 45, above average pickpocket, 30 (not quite skilled, but better than average). very good at using her powers,  really good prankster, incredibly good cheater, and a master at being annoying.

Appearance: 5’4, skinny,  long black hair, blue eyes.

Clothes: Black hoodie with white stripes, white t-shirt with black styling, with black pants with white styling and black shoes with white styling.

Equipment: A hand gun, and a footlong serrated knife with a slot to insert a battery, to make it a taser. She also carries lemon juice to pour on her knife.

Personality: She is incredibly annoying, but actually is a nice person, when she wants to be. She doesn’t want to hurt people and will protect her friends with her life, but will kill her enemies without mercy.

Weakness: She’s a hemophiliac. And cancer. That's her epic weakness. She dies from cancer, she's dead.

Backstory: She was the grand kid of the sister of the world hopper that raised Walker. That’s really all need to know. I'm leaving it open for CDS

Guild Affiliation: TUBA intern.

Epic points:
Teleportation 50 points
Reincarnation 40 points (Would be higher if not for the 24 hour respawn time)
Skills: 105-130 points.

Total: 195 - 220. Needs about 45-70 points of weakness.

She needs another weakness: Hemophilia is about 30 points. Need at least 15 more points of weaknesses.

Old age can kill any epic, even ones with resurrection, doesn’t count as a weakness.

If she doesn’t currently have cancer, it doesn’t really factor in as a weakness. Also, her weakness is dying of cancer, not having it, that doesn’t inhibit her fighting ability in RP.

The rock thing is a limit of her powers, not a weakness.


Eric Darkhold. Mercenary.

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Investiture: He has six spikes through his torso. Two are human speed, two human strength, one f pewter, the other f steel. He stores the extra strength when he doesn’t need it, and the same with the speed. He also has a steel linchpin spike.

Age: 28

Build: He is 6’6 with extremely muscled build in normal form. He has blue eyes that are dead in between light and dark without his shardblade nad very bright with it.

Skills: He is a mildly good fighter (55, average in both hand to hand and melee), and nows the basics of hemalurgy. That’s pretty much it.

Equipment: He has a dead shardblade in the shape of a large scimitar and a large shield.

Clothes: He has a black leather jacket, black pants, a black shirt, and black shoes, as well as a holder on his back for his large black shield.

Personality: He is kind of brutish in his behavior, and is loyal, to money. He likes to collect spikes from people he kills, and likes to kill people by spiking them. You pay him, he does what you want, no questions asked.

Weakness: Besides the six spikes through his body that make him very vulnerable to  a strong soother/rioter, he is also an idiot, and hates guns. He won’t use them. He won’t explain why, he just does.

Backstory: He was born on Roshar and joined the Alethkar army when he was a teenager. Nobody knew what to do with him because his eyes were never dark or light, so he was treated as a darkeyes, but allowed to use a sword. He trained in the sword and through bute force made his way up the rank by crushing the parshendi. He was a sergeant under Sadeas when a parshendi shar bearer attacked his unit. Sadeas was on the other side of the battlefield fighting another shard bearer, who escaped by the way, so his unit was on their own. He managed to disarm the parshend then push them off the cliff into mouth of a chasmfiend. He then left the army to escape Sadeas to stop him from taking the blade for himself. He made his way to the Alleyplanet where he found a hemalurgist and learned hemalurgy. He then found six people; a steel ferring, pewter ferring, and four random soldiers, who he got his spikes from. He became a mercenary and spent several years doing anything anybody paid him to do.

Guild Affiliation: Whatever guild pays him the most.

 


Total Magic points = 20 + 20 + 20 + 20 + 50 + 40 -75 +45 + 35 = 175 M
175 Magic
55 skills.
30 for the shard blade.

No guns -5 (This won’t affect his fighting style too much, but is worth something)
Is an idiot - 30 (Assuming he’s astoundingly stupid, can barely function in normal life)

Still needs 75 weakness points to be within the point values.


Gary

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Investiture: He is a sandling who inevertantly has a trio of spikes: One that grants him human intelligence, another human speech, and the third atium spike granting him a fishes waterproofing.

Age: He’s had the spikes 3 years, and wasn’t keeping count before then.

Skills: He can burrow, and swing his arms effectively.

Personality: He his helpful and kind, and naive. He is very cheerful, and has a tendency to attack people he doesn’t like off of what they are doing when he meets them.

Weakness: He is a good natured, overly trusting, idiot. And the three spikes that he need to exist, and a fear of water, even though his spikes make him immune.

History: A hemalurgist who made tiny spikes for no apparent reasons, threw them into the sand, and he accidentally ran into them, and became what he is now. He then made his way into the Alleyverse, and hit the Jackal with his arm very hard.

Guild Affiliation: He doesn't know what these are.

 

Should be good. Probably not over 150 points.

But you do realize that sandling's are significantly larger than people right?


Warren ‘Wraith’ Mathews

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Investiture: He is an epic with the powers of being able to shift between two forms. The first of his forms is a 6’1’ man with pale skin and black veins, with elf ears, and black hair that has enhanced physical attributes. The second is a wraith that is intangible, to any impact, but can grab things or hit them, and can teleport between shadows in any range, though he has to know there is a shadow there to teleport to it. He can also shift its shape to his needs.

Build: He is 6’1’ and thin, like an elf.

Age: He is 18 years old.

Skills: Very good with his teleportation, and a skilled hand to hand fighter. He is also a good actor, and con artist.

Equipment: He carries a pair of obsidian knuckles, and smoke bombs/eclipse bombs. Eclipse bombs block out any light source, and make the area around them dark for about 15 minutes, but can only be produced by the Alchemist.

Clothes: He wears a black t shirt, black jeans, and black boots. He also wears sunglasses.

Personality: He is actually a joking and carefree person, but The Jackal wants him to act like a mysterious and deadly wraith, that doesn’t talk.

Weakness: He has an extreme adversity to light. In his first form, he will burn up in the sun in half an hour, and with a flashlight, will die in 300 hours, and in his wraith form he will die in the sun in half a minute, and in a flashlight in 30 minutes.

Backstory: He was born on reckonerverse earth, and lived there for 14 years, before he got his powers. Spent 3 years popping around stealing stuff, before the Jackal found him, and trained him in hand to hand fighting, and then he joined the Jackal

 

Need @Voidus to rank the Epic Power, has 30 skill points. The weakness is pretty big though.


The Alchemist

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Investiture: He is a rithmatist, and he has a soulcaster.

Build: He is 6’5’, but has a slouch.

Age: 86

Skills: He is a skilled rithmatist, and very good with his soulcaster. He is also a scientific genius, though he is not as smart as Dusk.

Equipment: He has a staff that he clings to to stand up with a piece of retractable chalk on the end of it, and his soulcaster.

Clothes: He has a long black cloak, and dark brown clothes.

Personality: He is arrogant, but other than that he’s supportive and actually kind of a good person. Besides his sociopathy and complete disregard for human life that is. And his obsession with proving that he is smarter than Dusk.

Weakness: He is 86 years old, and could literally have a heart attack at any moment. And he’s arrogant.

Backstory: He was born on the rithmatist earth, and learned as much about modern science as he good until he became a rithmatist. Then he learned in the rithmatist school. And then he went exploring, fell in an alley, and ended up on roshar. He then started learning fabrial science, and soulcasting as an ardeth for the next 30 years of his life. He then stole his soul caster and  ran away. He would have been caught, but the Jackal saved him, before the Jackal was the Jackal. He was the only person in the Jackals team who knows who he is. He then joined a DA sub group and learned much about hemalurgy. He then joined the consortium when the Jackal made it.

Guild Affiliation: None. Well, kind of DA.

 

He's good. We can add him to the list.

 

Quick question, what’s happening with walker and dusk? Were they put on the E3 list and ranked? What about your other E2 characters?

TLDR: Questions about Silva Rey and Gary, Darkhold, and Sarah Drown need revision, and Wraith needs to be looked at by @Voidus, and the alchemist is good.

Silva's weapons are listed.

All of the things about Sarah:

I think being a hemophiliac is much more than 30 points. If you cut her, you win.

The Rock thing is not a weakness, but would subtract from her resurrections score.

I kind of just threw in an epic weakness that wouldn't give her the points of not having one, but wasn't really exploitable.

She doesn't de age at all, so if she dies of old age, she would not regen.

Back to the others

I do realise that Sandlings are huge.

Walker is still under revision, and Dusk is non combative. Zack was designed to be weak, and Thel shouldn't be overpowered. I need to check him.

15 hours ago, Voidus said:

Wraith:

Intangibility - 100
Shadow teleport - Unable to score, a 'range' is mentioned but not specified. 40+
Shapeshift - 30
Physical enhancements - No way to score, insufficient information. If similar to pewter ability enhancements then we can probably use that.

Weakness doesn't factor in much unless this is the full Epic weakness and so could also prevent intangibility and teleportation otherwise those abilities make it practically meaningless.


Total: 170+ M

The Alchemist: The DA in particular isn't really somewhere that's big on casual recruits what with the loyalty spikes and all. I'd suggest either they actually join the DA (Which I'm fine with) or they're just part of the Jackals group and unaffiliated.

He doesn't really have a range limit, but he has to know a shadow is there, or he just goes to a random shadow within a mile. So, if he's off by an inch, he ends up somewhere randomly a mile a way.I mean, if he's aiming for Darkside on Taildain he would probably hit his target, but anywhere else, he would have trouble.

His enhancements are less than pewter. Think, inadvertent stormlight usage.

I have to completely disagree with your assessment of his weakness. See, it does not prevent either of those, but he feels such pain, that he almost inadvertently changes forms. Also, to use his powers he has to be focused. You try to be focused when someone is essentially hitting you with a flamethrower. So, if he gets hit by sunlight, he would have to get away from it.

To the Alchemist thing: He joined a sub DA research team where he learned about hemalurgy. He wasn't really a member of the DA, which is why I said, kind of.

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8 minutes ago, Darth Woodrack said:

He doesn't really have a range limit, but he has to know a shadow is there, or he just goes to a random shadow within a mile. So, if he's off by an inch, he ends up somewhere randomly a mile a way.I mean, if he's aiming for Darkside on Taildain he would probably hit his target, but anywhere else, he would have trouble.

That still means anywhere on the night side of any planet is fair game, and it does allow for instant escape to prepared locations. I'll set it at a 45 given all the limitations but free and instant teleportation is a powerful ability. Assumptions: Reasonable limitations on content that can be teleported with. (Roughly the same as a person can hold)

12 minutes ago, Darth Woodrack said:

His enhancements are less than pewter. Think, inadvertent stormlight usage.

+15 should do it then.

12 minutes ago, Darth Woodrack said:

I have to completely disagree with your assessment of his weakness. See, it does not prevent either of those, but he feels such pain, that he almost inadvertently changes forms. Also, to use his powers he has to be focused. You try to be focused when someone is essentially hitting you with a flamethrower. So, if he gets hit by sunlight, he would have to get away from it.

Sunlight isn't something that someone can be easily accidentally exposed to, especially if they can walk through walls or teleport. If their phasing isn't impacted by sunlight then they can just instantly fall into the floor and be out of the sunlight. Unless you're willing to commit to them absolutely being unable to use their powers while in some level of light then I don't think there's much of a demerit. But if that isn't their Epic weakness then depending on what their actual Epic weakness is that might reduce it by some more.


Total: 190M -~20 for sunlight  = ~170M

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25 minutes ago, Darth Woodrack said:

Silva's weapons are listed.

All of the things about Sarah:

I think being a hemophiliac is much more than 30 points. If you cut her, you win.

The Rock thing is not a weakness, but would subtract from her resurrections score.

I kind of just threw in an epic weakness that wouldn't give her the points of not having one, but wasn't really exploitable.

She doesn't de age at all, so if she dies of old age, she would not regen.

Back to the others

I do realise that Sandlings are huge.

Walker is still under revision, and Dusk is non combative. Zack was designed to be weak, and Thel shouldn't be overpowered. I need to check him.

He doesn't really have a range limit, but he has to know a shadow is there, or he just goes to a random shadow within a mile. So, if he's off by an inch, he ends up somewhere randomly a mile a way.I mean, if he's aiming for Darkside on Taildain he would probably hit his target, but anywhere else, he would have trouble.

His enhancements are less than pewter. Think, inadvertent stormlight usage.

I have to completely disagree with your assessment of his weakness. See, it does not prevent either of those, but he feels such pain, that he almost inadvertently changes forms. Also, to use his powers he has to be focused. You try to be focused when someone is essentially hitting you with a flamethrower. So, if he gets hit by sunlight, he would have to get away from it.

To the Alchemist thing: He joined a sub DA research team where he learned about hemalurgy. He wasn't really a member of the DA, which is why I said, kind of.

Ok, I have no idea what any of that means. Either @Grey Knight will need to come up with some more rankings, or you will. I don't know WH40K.

As to Sarah, not necessarily. Over the course of the fight she can still beat you. She can die, but she will resurrect to her state 24 hours before. In addition, your blood not clotting during a fight isn't necessarily an issue during the fight. Afterward the fallout would be big, but not during the fight. However we rarely if ever wait for normal healing to happen to the body. She could use a gold medallion to be healed right after the fight.

Additionally she could just kill herself and regenerate 24 hours later.

As to the rock thing, I will have to ping @Voidus for that. I don't know if he factored that in.

As to the aging, that's not really a factor in the RP. If you plan for her to last like 4-5 eras that will eventually take affect, but it doesn't set her apart from normal epics as they can all die from old age. Even the ones with incredibly awesome healing powers.

For Gary: That's good, you said in the bio that his spikes were tiny and I was confused.

For your other characters, that's good.

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29 minutes ago, Voidus said:

That still means anywhere on the night side of any planet is fair game, and it does allow for instant escape to prepared locations. I'll set it at a 45 given all the limitations but free and instant teleportation is a powerful ability. Assumptions: Reasonable limitations on content that can be teleported with. (Roughly the same as a person can hold)

Sunlight isn't something that someone can be easily accidentally exposed to, especially if they can walk through walls or teleport. If their phasing isn't impacted by sunlight then they can just instantly fall into the floor and be out of the sunlight. Unless you're willing to commit to them absolutely being unable to use their powers while in some level of light then I don't think there's much of a demerit. But if that isn't their Epic weakness then depending on what their actual Epic weakness is that might reduce it by some more.


Total: 190M -~20 for sunlight  = ~170M

He can teleport with one person, though he could rapid fire it so he could make multiple disappear at what appears to be the same time.

I think we have some confusion. I might have said something wrong. He can teleport from one shadow to another, and he has an adversity to all light. An average flashlight will burn him up in his wraith form in half an hour. You use a light aon and he will burn up in a much shorter time frame.

Edit: He also can only go through shadows that he could actually fit into. He can stick his hand through smaller shadows, but can't do a full teleportation.

Edit 2: If I removed the steel ferring spike and replaced it with a speed spike, would he be okay?

Edited by Darth Woodrack
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