Toaster Retribution

Crackpot Theories (A game)

245 posts in this topic

Proof: Brandon saw exactly how well the stick meme turned out for him. Why wouldn’t he try to capitalize on that with I am Rock? 

Spoiler

Other than him prioritizing good writing over grabs for money, but this is a game okay 

Theory: Peter is planning to kill Brandon and take over writing his books. (Bonus points if you can repurpose a quote of his) 

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On 1/26/2020 at 11:16 PM, AonEne said:

Theory: Peter is planning to kill Brandon and take over writing his books. (Bonus points if you can repurpose a quote of his) 

Proof: Peter can do it all. That is all we need to know.

Theory: The cremlings will take over the cosmere.

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6 hours ago, Ghanderflaffle said:

Proof: Peter can do it all. That is all we need to know.

Theory: The cremlings will take over the cosmere.

Proof: Those Aimians are up to something...

Theory: Nightblood’s tap-dancing skills will ultimately save the Cosmere.

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Proof: Why else would he keep them hidden? he can already destroy most enemies with just a touch, mind control bad people, and suck the souls out of his wielders, his tap-dancing skills must be on a different level.

Theory: The Cosmere is just one of Elizabeth Bennet's daydreams.

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Proof: Brandon Sanderson is secretly Jane Austen in disguise

Theory: Odium has the secret recipe to the best noodles ever, and is going to try to convince Hoid to join his side by bribing him with it.

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Reason: Well, why else would anyone be hunting Hoid down? He’d just be rude to you. Obviously you would search for Hoid to give him noodles. And yes, Noodleform is a form of power, we just haven’t seen it yet.

Theory: Brandon doesn’t actually write his books. He just takes internet theories and adds dialogue/worldbuilding.

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Proof: How else can the dude write so fast?

Theory: Birds in Roshar stay in Shinovar because they are secretly planning to replace the rulers of Roshar with members of their own royal family (it’s not like the Rosharins could tell the difference anyways).

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Proof: Not much is known of the frontiers for good reason!!

Theory: Ambition was not shattered, but actually went to tahiti for an extended vacation.

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Well, with all the flights cancelled, you can't go to Tahiti and prove she's not now can you?

Theory: Aimia is actually Damnation, but a series of mistranslations and misspellings led to it being known as Rosharan hell instead of the reclusive beaver country that it is.

Edited by Failsafe
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On 3/26/2020 at 5:26 PM, Failsafe said:

Well, with all the flights cancelled, you can't go to Tahiti and prove she's not now can you?

Theory: Aimia is actually Damnation, but a series of mistranslations and misspellings led to it being known as Rosharan hell instead of the reclusive beaver country that it is.

Proof: Break apart the word and you get Dam Nation, as in a nation of dams. Beavers build dams. Dams need water. Aimia is an island chain. This almost makes an iota of sense. Almost.

Theory: Wyrn is, in fact, a stick. Who will not become fire.

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On 4/21/2020 at 9:42 PM, Soulbinder said:

Theory: Wyrn is, in fact, a stick. Who will not become fire.

Proof: Why else would a religion claim that he is the only one who can speak to their god?

 

Theory: Yolen was a giant chessboard.

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11 minutes ago, Nameless said:

Proof: Why else would a religion claim that he is the only one who can speak to their god?

 

Theory: Yolen was a giant chessboard.

Proof: That's clearly the only way such a huge tactical error as adonalsium's shattering could have happened. The chess player left the queen out and it was taken by pawns.

 

Theory: Hoid is the one who actually writes the books

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Proof: It is why he appears everywhere plot-relevant. He has a supernatural writer's sense to appear wherever the story will happen.

Theory: The Ghostbloods are supernaturally reanimated corpses. 

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26 minutes ago, Knight of Iron said:

Theory: The Ghostbloods are supernaturally reanimated corpses. 

Proof: Why else would Iyatil wear a mask like that?

 

Theory: Nightblood will retire from destroying evil to destroy some plastic instead.

Edited by Nameless
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Proof: have you ever seen any plastic on Nalthis or Roshar? 

Theory: The Sibling's real name is the Stormuncle. 

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15 hours ago, Failsafe said:

Proof: have you ever seen any plastic on Nalthis or Roshar? 

Theory: The Sibling's real name is the Stormuncle. 

Proof: He/She is the Stormfather’s brother/sister, therefore it all makes sense!

Theory: The Rhythm of War will be about a thousand page long kazoo solo by Wit

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Proof: If you've ever heard a kazoo, you know one thousand pages of it will easily start a war, and it has a rythem. What's the book called? Rythem Of War.

Theory: Stick is the original Hoid, who Cephandrius tricked into believing he's a stick.

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Proof: We know stick is stubborn. You know who else is stubborn? Hoid coincidence I think not!!

Theory: Kelsier will open up a ramen cafe to lure in Hoid. When Hoid comes Kelsier will invite to be his business partner.

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Proof: Why else would Hoid want instant noodles to be created? He's trying to avoid Kelsier's trap!

 

Theory: Brandon will get to the last book in Mistborn era 4, then refuse to publish it until he's given 100 million dollars as a bribe.

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2 hours ago, Nameless said:

Proof: Why else would Hoid want instant noodles to be created? He's trying to avoid Kelsier's trap!

 

Theory: Brandon will get to the last book in Mistborn era 4, then refuse to publish it until he's given 100 million dollars as a bribe.

Proof: He knows that we’ll do it. And think that it’s a cheap price to pay.

Theory: Every fifth letter in The Way of Kings strung together will form a text contains all the secrets of the cosmere.

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2 minutes ago, Truthless of Shinovar said:

Theory: Every fifth letter in The Way of Kings strung together will form a text contains all the secrets of the cosmere.

Must *twitch* not *twitch* check! *TWITCH*

Aaaaaaahhhh!!!!!! *checks*

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1 minute ago, The_Archivist said:

Must *twitch* not *twitch* check! *TWITCH*

Aaaaaaahhhh!!!!!! *checks*

Did you find anything:ph34r:

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8 minutes ago, Truthless of Shinovar said:

Did you find anything:ph34r:

The first sentence says: holresvrthhtlg :(. The bright side is, I can brag about doing that from memory.

Unless... *rushes over to try to discover a new language*

Edited by The_Archivist
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1 minute ago, The_Archivist said:

The first sentence says: holoitysln :(. The bright side is, I can brag about doing that from memory.

Unless... *rushes over to try to discover a new language*

PROOF: holoitysln can be broken up into ho l loit ysl n which rearranges to oh l toil syl n which proves that Syl was revealed in the first sentence of the way of kings and that she will toil.

THEORY: Shinovar doesn't have any honorblades, worldhoppers took them and they are hidden in Silverlight

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Proof: Seems like a pretty worldhopper thing to do.

Theory: soulcast meat smells like artificial bacon

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