Ashspren

Tournament: Cosmere Character Roast Battles

2,477 posts in this topic

Sorry I’m behind, always busy! Here’s the link!

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Shoot... My email didn't send me the notification for several weeks. Why technology!!! Whyyyyyyyy!?!?

Spoiler

 

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@Ghanderflaffle I appologize for being off. I had email trouble and some personal problems. Is there any way I could do a makeup battle?

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On 4/5/2021 at 11:53 AM, yeshevishman said:

@Ghanderflaffle I appologize for being off. I had email trouble and some personal problems. Is there any way I could do a makeup battle?

Since we’ve moved on to semifinals, not really. I still appreciate you letting me know, even if it’s after the fact. You can join the next tournament once this one is over though!

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And the person continuing on to the finals is... @Random Bystander! Congrats to you and thanks for playing, as always, @Hoiditthroughthegrapevine.

Our second to last round shall be between @BreezeCauthon as Wit against @Shard of Reading as Wayne. This should be a fun one, so good luck to you both! Roasts due on Thursday at 6:00 PM CST.

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Congrats @Random Bystander, your roast was great!

Excited to see the battle between Wit and Wayne!

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4 hours ago, Hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Congrats @Random Bystander, your roast was great!

Excited to see the battle between Wit and Wayne!

Thanks! I liked yours too.

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Spoiler

Brevity is the soul of Wit, they say,
So I will keep it short today.

Wayne, after all, is a walking self-roast.
He opens his mouth and his dignity's toast.

Look, my friends, it's about to open!
Now let's observe how he puts his foot in.

-Quality Over Quantity: On Wayne, the new hit single by rap superstar Da King's Wit.

Clearly, he's feeling ambitious today. We'll see how it goes.

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Posted (edited)

22 hours ago, BreezeCauthon said:

Now let's observe how he puts his foot in.

In my mouth obviously. :ph34r: I'll edit my roast into this post when I'm done with it

Spoiler

Greetings wit,

I’ll be fair this took me a bit.

I’m a big fan of yours,

You’re really funny and so mysterious.

But tell me really, what are you hiding?

You travel the cosmere helping people,

But if you really do help them, then why does everyone hate you?

The survivor can’t stand you,

And you tease even the least deserving.

The only person who was happy to see you was Shallan,

And let’s be fair her sanity is questionable

The only reason anyone is interested in you is because no one knows anything about you

Why do you hide who you are?

You want to help, but then hardly intervene.

You can’t kill, but relish the opportunity to hurt people

I may, or may not have run out of ideas at the end...

Edited by Shard of Reading
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Let’s see who move on to the finals! Link

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Who won?

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On 4/15/2021 at 4:23 PM, Frustration said:

Who won?

I'm currently winning, but I don't know if voting is over yet.

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Just now, BreezeCauthon said:

I'm currently winning, but I don't know if voting is over yet.

I could see the poll but just wanted to bumb the thread.

Thanks

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And our finalist is @BreezeCauthon! Congrats! Thanks for playing @Shard of Reading, as always.

Officially speaking, we have our winners! The Rosharan team has pulled ahead, winning this tournament 4-2. Congrats to @Random Bystander as Nightblood, @yeshevishman as Adolin, @BreezeCauthon as Wit, and @Matrim's Dice as Nikki!

However, @Random Bystander and @BreezeCauthon have battled hard to get here, so I will still give them their final round. Good luck against each other! You have until Monday at 5 PM CST.

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2 hours ago, Ghanderflaffle said:

Officially speaking, we have our winners! The Rosharan team has pulled ahead, winning this tournament 4-2. Congrats to @Random Bystander as Nightblood, @yeshevishman as Adolin, @BreezeCauthon as Wit, and @Matrim's Dice as Nikki!

Now I feel guilty for forgetting about this :/ Good job guys, I guess :P 

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Spoiler

Well done, Rosharan fam!
Adolin, Nikki, and Nightblood, my man.
I suppose that this final match
Is something of a victory lap.

Nightblood, to my mind:
The difference between us is not one of quality, but of kind.
(For between you and me
'The Smartest' are we
I hope that we can agree).

But you are The Smartest Sword,
And I am The Smartest Man,
And the smartest of swords
Is dumber than hordes
Upon hordes upon hordes of humans.

So I laud you for your brains,
And really there is no shame,
In being not as smart as I...
You can't help it!
It was how you were forged; do not cry!
 

Let's go Roshar! Way to show 'em how it's done.

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Posted (edited)

On 4/17/2021 at 8:14 AM, BreezeCauthon said:
  Reveal hidden contents

Well done, Rosharan fam!
Adolin, Nikki, and Nightblood, my man.
I suppose that this final match
Is something of a victory lap.

Nightblood, to my mind:
The difference between us is not one of quality, but of kind.
(For between you and me
'The Smartest' are we
I hope that we can agree).

But you are The Smartest Sword,
And I am The Smartest Man,
And the smartest of swords
Is dumber than hordes
Upon hordes upon hordes of humans.

So I laud you for your brains,
And really there is no shame,
In being not as smart as I...
You can't help it!
It was how you were forged; do not cry!
 

Let's go Roshar! Way to show 'em how it's done.

I've just got to say:

Keteks are REALLY hard to write.

Also, I liked your roast. :)

Spoiler

On go worlds!

Hoid. Without fears. Has one. Yes, Hoid does.

Nightblood.

Worldhopper, weapon, friend.

Yes friend, weapon. Worldhopper.

Nightblood. 

Does Hoid? Yes, one. Has Fear. Without Hoid, worlds go on.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Nightblood. Cheerful. Helpful. Powerful. Kind.

World of colors, world of storms. See Nightblood destroy evil.

Evil’s destroyer.

Nightblood sees, color of worlds, storm of worlds.

Kind, Powerful, Cheerful, Helpful: Nightblood.

 

Edited by Random Bystander
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5 hours ago, Random Bystander said:

I've just got to say:

Keteks are REALLY hard to write.

I almost did a ketek for one of my roasts but then I didn't.

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5 minutes ago, BreezeCauthon said:

I almost did a ketek for one of my roasts but then I didn't.

Well, as Roshar won, I felt like I had to represent Roshar by Ketek-ing.

:P

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On 4/17/2021 at 9:14 AM, BreezeCauthon said:
  Reveal hidden contents

Well done, Rosharan fam!
Adolin, Nikki, and Nightblood, my man.
I suppose that this final match
Is something of a victory lap.

Nightblood, to my mind:
The difference between us is not one of quality, but of kind.
(For between you and me
'The Smartest' are we
I hope that we can agree).

But you are The Smartest Sword,
And I am The Smartest Man,
And the smartest of swords
Is dumber than hordes
Upon hordes upon hordes of humans.

So I laud you for your brains,
And really there is no shame,
In being not as smart as I...
You can't help it!
It was how you were forged; do not cry!
 

Let's go Roshar! Way to show 'em how it's done.

 

On 4/19/2021 at 1:04 PM, Random Bystander said:

I've just got to say:

Keteks are REALLY hard to write.

Also, I liked your roast. :)

  Reveal hidden contents

On go worlds!

Hoid. Without fears. Has one. Yes, Hoid does.

Nightblood.

Worldhopper, weapon, friend.

Yes friend, weapon. Worldhopper.

Nightblood. 

Does Hoid? Yes, one. Has Fear. Without Hoid, worlds go on.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Nightblood. Cheerful. Helpful. Powerful. Kind.

World of colors, world of storms. See Nightblood destroy evil.

Evil’s destroyer.

Nightblood sees, color of worlds, storm of worlds.

Kind, Powerful, Cheerful, Helpful: Nightblood.

 

Fancy with the keteks! Nicely done Breeze.

Link

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By a single vote, the winner is... @BreezeCauthon as Wit! Congrats on your victory lap.

 

And now I have an announcement to make. It’s been wonderful organizing and leading all these tournaments. I love reading your roasts and comments. However, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, I haven’t been keeping up with the schedule. I’ve been too busy to give this the time it deserves. I found myself only getting on the shard to run this. This is nobody’s fault. Nobody drove me to do this. This is just what I have to do to make the shard a fun place for me again. So, with that said, somebody new will have to step in and take over for me. I will answer any questions you may have, but it shouldn’t be too difficult. I’m not forcing any of you to do this, but three people in particular have been very active the last few tournaments and beyond. So @Hoiditthroughthegrapevine @BreezeCauthon and @Kingsdaughter613, I would like to give you three the option of taking this on first. If one of you wants to take it for sure, or if you want a rotation, or to let anyone lead any tournament, it’s up to you. Before anybody else takes this over, I’d like these three to have the chance to first. Thanks for making this a wonderful competition to run. (Sorry for overshadowing your victory Breeze).

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3 hours ago, Ghanderflaffle said:

By a single vote, the winner is... @BreezeCauthon as Wit! Congrats on your victory lap.

 

And now I have an announcement to make. It’s been wonderful organizing and leading all these tournaments. I love reading your roasts and comments. However, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, I haven’t been keeping up with the schedule. I’ve been too busy to give this the time it deserves. I found myself only getting on the shard to run this. This is nobody’s fault. Nobody drove me to do this. This is just what I have to do to make the shard a fun place for me again. So, with that said, somebody new will have to step in and take over for me. I will answer any questions you may have, but it shouldn’t be too difficult. I’m not forcing any of you to do this, but three people in particular have been very active the last few tournaments and beyond. So @Hoiditthroughthegrapevine @BreezeCauthon and @Kingsdaughter613, I would like to give you three the option of taking this on first. If one of you wants to take it for sure, or if you want a rotation, or to let anyone lead any tournament, it’s up to you. Before anybody else takes this over, I’d like these three to have the chance to first. Thanks for making this a wonderful competition to run. (Sorry for overshadowing your victory Breeze).

Thanks for thinking of me Ghanderflafgle.

Rotation could work. Otherwise I’m going to have to refuse; my sister got engaged a week ago and she’s getting married in a little over two months. And two of my cousins are also getting married during this time. Between weddings, Sheva Brachos, and gown fittings, I’m going to be far too busy to run things until July. Good things to be busy with though, so I’m hardly complaining!

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1 minute ago, Kingsdaughter613 said:

Rotation could work. Otherwise I’m going to have to refuse; my sister got engaged a week ago and she’s getting married in a little over two months. And two of my cousins are also getting married during this time. Between weddings, Sheva Brachos, and gown fittings, I’m going to be far too busy to run things until July. Good things to be busy with though, so I’m hardly complaining!

Oh that's amazing

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3 minutes ago, Frustration said:

Oh that's amazing

Yeah, it really is. But it gets crazier. See, just around two months ago my grandmother passed away.

The first cousin had her engagement party the week before my grandmother passed away.

The second cousin got engaged two days before and had her engagement party the week after shiva.

My sister got engaged a month and a half after our grandmother passed.

The whole family thinks she made a deal with God: He could only take her if her granddaughters got husbands in exchange.

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13 hours ago, Kingsdaughter613 said:

Yeah, it really is. But it gets crazier. See, just around two months ago my grandmother passed away.

The first cousin had her engagement party the week before my grandmother passed away.

The second cousin got engaged two days before and had her engagement party the week after shiva.

My sister got engaged a month and a half after our grandmother passed.

The whole family thinks she made a deal with God: He could only take her if her granddaughters got husbands in exchange.

I’m sorry about your grandmother, but congrats to your family. That’s quite the rollercoaster you have to deal with.

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