Condensation Posted October 24, 2020 Report Share Posted October 24, 2020 3 minutes ago, Archer said: If Alcatraz ever returns to Earth and/or finds Bastille, he's going to claim inspiration from your wise words. But I mean, what are the odds that in this entirely unexpected situation that he might have to face his crush and recite emotional poetry? Haha...jk...unless? That... would be hilarious. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted October 25, 2020 Report Share Posted October 25, 2020 This is a hard one, Rock is so storming difficult to Roast. In the future we should prohibit characters that are too perfect from signing up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted October 25, 2020 Report Share Posted October 25, 2020 Yeah, I had a hard time with Syl. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghanderflaffle Posted October 27, 2020 Report Share Posted October 27, 2020 @I Am A Fish @Hentient due today! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted October 27, 2020 Report Share Posted October 27, 2020 (edited) Here it is!! Its not perfect but Stormfather knows I don't have enough time to fix it. Good luck @I Am A Fish! Spoiler So I suppose Jasnah couldn’t bother to make an appearance? No problem, so long as she puts up no belated interference. Though I guess I can’t blame her for backing out I’ve been told I’m an intimidating figure to take out *Spensa turns toward Rock with a glare* Another Rosharan I see Let’s hope this one doesn’t flee. Numuhukumakiaki'aialunamor’s your name? Let’s see if you can play the game. I could make the same argument with you as I did with Jasnah, that you’re a coward Instead of hiding behind a book, you claim you have a need to cook But I don’t want my audience to get bored So I’ll choose another topic for my rhetorical sword There's one thing here that will surely make me a winner You put chull dung inside your Highprinces dinner?? That's a brave move, Ill give you that, But did you ever consider the consequences of that act? As a result, you were placed inside the bridge crews, Put in a position where you couldn't even tell your family the news, You forgot your family, You made Bridge Four your brothers Leaving your children alone with their Mother. All of this to say, you cant think ahead, *Spensa reaches up and knocks on rocks head* Hear that? It's as thick as lead! *As Spensas cadence slowly starts to pick up speed, she punctuates her words with jabs at Rocks chest* They say you’re the best, that you’re good with a jest, well okay, lets put that up to the test. As a bridgeman you and the men were oppressed, Leaving your leader constantly stressed. “You’re my secret weapon” Stormblessed confessed, So you made them dinner upon his request, If you had your way, it'd be a stew full of rocks they couldn't even digest. Well guess what Horneater, I'm unimpressed, You’re not a bridgeman anymore so take off that vest it’s time to get dressed! *Spensa turns away, addressing the audience* As a defiant, I fight to make my world a better place, It was for them that I went into space. As for this little bridgeman? He would flee the fighting before it even began. So for you, my audience, I say this. Lunamor, this Horneater? Should be dismissed. Edited October 27, 2020 by Hentient 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Am A Fish Posted October 27, 2020 Report Share Posted October 27, 2020 @Hentient this took me forever... Hope you enjoy! Spoiler *Rock picks up the microphone, walks onto stage, and turns to Spensa* Let’s keep this short just like our cytonic friend, (Spensa’s 4’11) And unlike Starsight I’ll give a satisfying end, You’re trying to contend, but your rap was so pathetic, Just like this little girl who thought that cowardice was genetic, Cards on the table you’re a one trick pony, Go back to your stable, stop being Jorgen’s crony, Wow! This girl can pull a trigger, why am I not impressed? Guess it couldn’t save her friends Bim, and Hurl! I digress, Call me a coward?!? Is that what you’re saying? Oh little girl, I see the game that you’re playing, I’ve faced down parshendi, ran through arrow storms, Me, and my bridge four brothers upset social norms, You’re working for a government, supporting oppression, Brainwashed as a child, now with mindless aggression, I fought Kaladin’s depression, Helping Teft fight his obsession, Standing with my brothers, hey we don’t need no discretion, I abandoned my family, this coming from you? The girl who ran off to flight school, left her mother to stew? Oh don’t forget Gran-gran, the woman who’s blind, You ran off, you left her, that I can’t get behind, On the note of your powers, this should leave you unnerved, You being a Cytonic? Entirely undeserved, To become I radiant, I had to work smarter, and harder, While you went and killed rats, to stock up your larder, You’ve done nothing by yourself, you always need a guide, A friend like Rig, or Cob, for you to hide behind, You say you’re a warrior, standing defiant, Then why on your friends, are you so reliant? Before I go, I have a word, about your final villain, It’s M-Bot, just you wait, cause in a minute he starts killin’, The prophecy, it’s self-fulfillin’, right now I can sit here chillin, Cause I had the brain not to home grow AI monsters, I’m about to leave, cause I can fall with style, Since M-bot’s ship gone, is gone, it should take you a while, Concede defeat, and I’ll give you a lift. Horneater express, we’re nice and swift We Unalaki are nice that way. So please, keep your rampaging robots away. Ps. In the words of the immortal Kvothe. “If I saw a horse with a leg as badly sprung as your rhythm, I’d kill it out of mercy, and burn it’s corpse, for fear the local dogs might knaw on it, and die. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 Ahaha amazing roast @I Am A Fish!! I have to admit that has to be of my favorite ones I've read so far. Hey, In my defense, Rock is scudding hard to roast!! Oh also, now that Fish has posted his roast I have to say: You should probably all vote for him because I haven't read Alcatraz yet and I don't know if I could roast him. I mean I doubt you'd vote for me anyway after that roast on Spensa but yeah, Vote Fish!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Doomstick Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 6 hours ago, I Am A Fish said: Me, and my bridge four brothers excuse me, did you mean "my bridge four brothers and I"? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Personification Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 17 minutes ago, Doomstick said: excuse me, did you mean "my bridge four brothers and I"? Or possibly my Bridge 4 brother, my Bridge 4 brother, and me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Doomstick Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 1 minute ago, Personification said: Or possibly my Bridge 4 brother, my Bridge 4 brother, and me. nope, it has to be and I 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Personification Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 3 minutes ago, Doomstick said: nope, it has to be and I I know. It was a reference to the name of a fairly popular podcast (which I don't actually follow). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Am A Fish Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 6 hours ago, Doomstick said: excuse me, did you mean "my bridge four brothers and I"? 6 hours ago, Personification said: Or possibly my Bridge 4 brother, my Bridge 4 brother, and me. Airsick lowlanders... We Unkalaki need no grammar. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghanderflaffle Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 (edited) Beautiful! Here's the poll! Remember, whoever wins this has to go against @Archer as Alcatraz in the semifinals! @Matrim's Dice (Fleet) and @Fezzik (Bastille) will be the next round. Edited October 28, 2020 by Ghanderflaffle 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 13 hours ago, Doomstick said: excuse me, did you mean "my bridge four brothers and I"? Many thanks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Doomstick Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 Just now, Condensation said: Many thanks. It's my job! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 7 minutes ago, Doomstick said: It's my job! 'Tis true, but so often others disregard their previous promises in favor of others more appealing in the moment. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Doomstick Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 There is nothing more appealing! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archer Posted October 28, 2020 Report Share Posted October 28, 2020 Those were two really good roasts. I hope you've got it out of your systems. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghanderflaffle Posted October 29, 2020 Report Share Posted October 29, 2020 (edited) And the winner is @I Am A Fish! You made it far @Hentient, but in the end Spensa falls behind. The next round is @Matrim's Dice as Fleet against @Fezzik as Bastille. Your roasts are due November 1st, which is Sunday. The winner goes on to the finals! Edited October 29, 2020 by Ghanderflaffle 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mat Posted October 29, 2020 Report Share Posted October 29, 2020 5 minutes ago, Ghanderflaffle said: And the winner is @I Am A Fish! You made it far @Hentient, but in the end Spensa falls behind. The next round is @Matrim's Dice as Fleet against @Fezzik as Bastille. I’ll post a date in a few minutes. Okay! The song I want to do fits with Bastille, it's kinda funny. You'll see 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AonEne Posted October 31, 2020 Report Share Posted October 31, 2020 On 10/29/2020 at 7:49 AM, Matrim's Dice said: Okay! The song I want to do fits with Bastille, it's kinda funny. You'll see Is it a song by Bastille? Puns are my lifeblood 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mat Posted October 31, 2020 Report Share Posted October 31, 2020 17 minutes ago, AonEne said: Is it a song by Bastille? Puns are my lifeblood Yes THANK YOU I 100% FORGOT ABOUT THIS 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghanderflaffle Posted October 31, 2020 Report Share Posted October 31, 2020 2 hours ago, Matrim's Dice said: Yes THANK YOU I 100% FORGOT ABOUT THIS Shh, me too. I’ve been focused on SE. @Fezzik @Matrim's Dice Roasts due tomorrow! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted October 31, 2020 Report Share Posted October 31, 2020 1 minute ago, Ghanderflaffle said: Shh, me too. I’ve been focused on SE. @Fezzik @Matrim's Dice Roasts due tomorrow! Same!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezzik Posted November 2, 2020 Report Share Posted November 2, 2020 Hey, Fleet! Spoiler I'm Bastille Dartmoor--I rock. You cannot outrun a storm, But you can run out the clock. Now when I, rapping, perform, My first instinct is to gloat But I hang my head in shame. For we are in the same boat, Sadly I have done the same. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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