Jump to content

Tournament: Cosmere Character Roast Battles


Recommended Posts

3 hours ago, Condensation said:

Results come this afternoon?

Results come now! It is a tie! Because of that, @Archer and @Condensation will each write a mini roast, which I formally declare shall be haikus (no more than 2 haikus). You have 24 hours, then we will vote again. Remember, 5-7-5!

Edited by Ghanderflaffle
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Ghanderflaffle said:

Results come now! It is a tie! Because of that, @Archer and @Condensation will each write a mini roast, which I formally declare shall be haikus (no more than 2 haikus). You have 24 hours, then we will vote again. Remember, 5-7-5!

Does this mean my roast is postponed?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Condensation said:

No it's not. You real-ise that but you won't...

It's the stupid computer, all right? It only uses British spelling. Apparently it hates z's.

realize is real+ize re-al-ize

do you say it like reelize?

Edited by Doomstick
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oo, fun. Bonus roasts. Nicely done, Condensation, here's my response:

Spoiler

Ack, more poetry!

Like Calamity’s climax,

I’ll end this swiftly.

 

You’ve died lamely twice,

Crashed a biked, then shot yourself.

You lack my pizzaz!

 

*Alcatraz dives head-first into the now open air duct tunnel ahead of him and begins trying to crawl away. He gets stuck about a meter in. His face feels oily, but he can't move his arms to scratch it. Apparently his Talent is good for break-ins, but when asked to break out, all it does is make him get more acne.*

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Archer said:

Oo, fun. Bonus roasts. Nicely done, Condensation, here's my response:

  Reveal hidden contents

Ack, more poetry!

Like Calamity’s climax,

I’ll end this swiftly.

 

You’ve died lamely twice,

Crashed a biked, then shot yourself.

You lack my pizzaz!

 

*Alcatraz dives head-first into the now open air duct tunnel ahead of him and begins trying to crawl away. He gets stuck about a meter in. His face feels oily, but he can't move his arms to scratch it. Apparently his Talent is good for break-ins, but when asked to break out, all it does is make him get more acne.*

 

You too!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Archer has won the mini roast! Thanks for playing @Condensation!

The next round will be @I Am A Fish as @Lunamor (yes, I had to do it again) against @Hentient as Spensa. Your roasts will be due on the 27th, which is Tuesday. Good luck!

Edited by Ghanderflaffle
Link to comment
Share on other sites

*As Alcatraz wiggles in the vent, a notebook and a rhyming dictionary fall out of his pocket. Embarrassed, he unwedges himself and rushes to recover them. Then he stops, and looks at Megan.*

Hey, hey Megan?

Come back here again?

You’re pretty good at rhyming stuff,

And you’re like my crush, so very tough.

I know my flirting comes off poorly,

And like you said, I'm not mature-y.

Any advice for wooing women?

I’m trying to make a special moment.

I doubt I’ll see Ba- her for a while,

But when I do, I want to make her smile.

*Alcatraz makes puppy dog eyes at the High Epic.*

 

Edit: and then Archer remembers to tag @Condensation, because yes, this denouement is entirely unplanned

Edited by Archer
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Ghanderflaffle said:

@Archer has won the mini roast! Thanks for playing @Condensation!

The next round will be @I Am A Fish as @Lunamor (yes, I had to do it again) against @Hentient as Spensa. Your roasts will be due on the 27th, which I believe is Wednesday. Good luck!

Just so you know, the 27th is a Tuesday...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Spoiler
4 hours ago, Ghanderflaffle said:

@Archer has won the mini roast! Thanks for playing @Condensation!

The next round will be @I Am A Fish as @Lunamor (yes, I had to do it again) against @Hentient as Spensa. Your roasts will be due on the 27th, which is Tuesday. Good luck!

 

4 hours ago, Archer said:

*As Alcatraz wiggles in the vent, a notebook and a rhyming dictionary fall out of his pocket. Embarrassed, he unwedges himself and rushes to recover them. Then he stops, and looks at Megan.*

Hey, hey Megan?

Come back here again?

You’re pretty good at rhyming stuff,

And you’re like my crush, so very tough.

I know my flirting comes off poorly,

And like you said, I'm not mature-y.

Any advice for wooing women?

I’m trying to make a special moment.

I doubt I’ll see Ba- her for a while,

But when I do, I want to make her smile.

*Alcatraz makes puppy dog eyes at the High Epic.*

 

Edit: and then Archer remembers to tag @Condensation, because yes, this denouement is entirely unplanned

 

Aw, shoot. Good job, Archer! Nicely roasted.

I mean, if you really want advice... :) You can see where in my signature.

I'll be back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If Alcatraz ever returns to Earth and/or finds Bastille, he's going to claim inspiration from your wise words. But I mean, what are the odds that in this entirely unexpected situation that he might have to face his crush and recite emotional poetry? Haha...jk...unless? :blink:;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...