Ghanderflaffle Posted October 2, 2020 Report Share Posted October 2, 2020 35 minutes ago, float said: whoops i thought it was due at the end of saturday It is, that was just a reminder. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted October 2, 2020 Report Share Posted October 2, 2020 2 hours ago, Ghanderflaffle said: @Condensation @float @turtle you’ve got one more day to post your roasts! Wait, we don't have to rhyme? Because I'm good at poetry that doesn't rhyme, but I've been trying to rhyme. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghanderflaffle Posted October 2, 2020 Report Share Posted October 2, 2020 10 minutes ago, Condensation said: Wait, we don't have to rhyme? Because I'm good at poetry that doesn't rhyme, but I've been trying to rhyme. It's freestyle. I don’t really care if you rhyme or not, do what you can to write the best roasts. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted October 2, 2020 Report Share Posted October 2, 2020 1 minute ago, Ghanderflaffle said: It's freestyle. I don’t really care if you rhyme or not, do what you can to write the best roasts. *thumbs up* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted October 3, 2020 Report Share Posted October 3, 2020 (edited) Double posting here to post my roast. Keep in mind, I'm roasting Syl. If you can tell which kind of poem it is, good, I did it right! If you can't, look harder. Spoiler Megan strolls in, hands in her pockets, and begins to speak. Silently you sit, radiating disapproval Yet you say nothing until you have Let your Radiant down Privately you lecture him Holding it up as his failure Really the fault in this is Entirely yours, he did not know Now you leave him All alone, when he needs you most Always happy, even when Nothing good has happened Circumstances haven’t changed It’s NOT all fine, Even Honor(a piece of a god) couldn’t defeat Odium Naive gaiety won’t help now Triumph takes realism Doing what you do -- forcing All of your views on the world Until it shatters around you Granted, it may work for you However, that’s simple-minded Trying this makes it harder for Everyone else who’s trying to Realize their mistakes Megan smiles. "Poetry's never really been my thing," she says. She walks out of the room without another word. Edited October 3, 2020 by Condensation 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghanderflaffle Posted October 4, 2020 Report Share Posted October 4, 2020 @elturT @float please get your roasts in! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
float Posted October 4, 2020 Report Share Posted October 4, 2020 This took longer than expected, though my expectations were unreasonable, considering I haven't read Alcatraz. Spoiler Alcatraz Smedry is a child. Others are told to face legends, gods and entities, yet I, Sigzil, have been systematically forced to insult a brat. I… I am a worldsinger, a lieutenant radiant, a storming figure of legend, somehow obligated to insult an axehound's stray pup. Yaezir! Pray tell, where did his journey begin? Was it sprouted in the soil of hopeless work and sacrifice? Was it the gradual realization that those he sees around him are laboring corpses? Was it, at the least, not a result of him burning his own sanctuary? Alcatraz has been challenged with complications commonly found in children's novels. A girl you met in a magical place became your love interest. Your grandfather took you to said magical place on your thirteenth birthday. You fight a cult of Librarians with a 'talent' of literally breaking things. You are worthle...no no. *Sigh.* Alcatraz is not worthless. Most adults with the same Talent and party members would be a better hero than him. You need to accept that. However, I believe you can... be good and...living Heralds above, look. I have no grudge against Alcatraz. I understand it may seem that way, and I apologize, but he is purely a child. However, I am hesitant to believe that the hosts of this ridicilous event are not newborns. Bridge 4 could be fighting for its life at this very moment, and these storming organizers are-+ +So begins a tangent 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghanderflaffle Posted October 4, 2020 Report Share Posted October 4, 2020 Here is the poll for @Archer and @float. It’ll be open for, you’ll never guess it, 24 hours. @eltruT I know I sent the reminder out a little late in the evening, so you have 2 and a half hours to get your roast in. That would be at 12:00 pm (CT) or 10:00 am (PST). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archer Posted October 4, 2020 Report Share Posted October 4, 2020 Nicely roasted, float! Alcatraz's already fragile ego has been dunked in boiling butter and roasted over a volcano. Also, I like that you have, officially, zero posts still. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghanderflaffle Posted October 4, 2020 Report Share Posted October 4, 2020 As turtle never responded but did get on, I have to disqualify them. So @Condensation moves on. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted October 4, 2020 Report Share Posted October 4, 2020 Woo hoo! Also, that's kind of sad. Who got my kind of poem? I wasn't sure if anyone would, but it was the best I could think of. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghanderflaffle Posted October 5, 2020 Report Share Posted October 5, 2020 And @Archer has beaten @float. @Archer will compete against @Condensation in a later round. Thanks for playing @float! We are finally getting to the last group! @hoiditthroughthegrapevine as Edgli against @I Am A Fish as @Lunamor () and @Hentient as Spensa against @The_Truthwatcher as Jasnah! Your roasts are due the 8th, which is Thursday. Good luck! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunamor Posted October 5, 2020 Report Share Posted October 5, 2020 1 hour ago, Ghanderflaffle said: And @Archer has beaten @float. @Archer will compete against @Condensation in a later round. Thanks for playing @float! We are finally getting to the last group! @hoiditthroughthegrapevine as Edgli against @I Am A Fish as @Lunamor () and @Hentient as Spensa against @The_Truthwatcher as Jasnah! Your roasts are due the 8th, which is Thursday. Good luck! Hehe, well y’all know who I’m rooting for! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Am A Fish Posted October 5, 2020 Report Share Posted October 5, 2020 27 minutes ago, Lunamor said: Hehe, well y’all know who I’m rooting for! Much obliged. 1 hour ago, Ghanderflaffle said: And @Archer has beaten @float. @Archer will compete against @Condensation in a later round. Thanks for playing @float! We are finally getting to the last group! @hoiditthroughthegrapevine as Edgli against @I Am A Fish as @Lunamor () and @Hentient as Spensa against @The_Truthwatcher as Jasnah! Your roasts are due the 8th, which is Thursday. Good luck! Who should go first? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghanderflaffle Posted October 5, 2020 Report Share Posted October 5, 2020 2 hours ago, I Am A Fish said: Much obliged. Who should go first? Everybody goes at the same time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine Posted October 8, 2020 Report Share Posted October 8, 2020 One of the Shards of divinity has taken time out of her busy schedule to pop out of the spiritual realm to roast a guy named after a bit of stone. Without further ado here's Edgli: Spoiler High atop Urithiru in an open air amphitheater, the audience waits beneath the blue dome of the sky. Upon the horizon a point of light blazes, and from that point, spreading out in a ragged circle, the blue of the sky leeches into an ashen gray. As the light grows closer the nimbus around it shimmers in a riot of iridescent hues. The light becomes a serpentine bolt of argent balefire streaking above the audience, leaving a chaotic train of swirling colors. As it speeds towards the stage, it's brilliance fades and the form of a dragon with iridescent scales emerges from the phosphorescent after image of the blinding streak. As the dragon alights on the stage, her form contracts, and a tall, thin woman with supple limbs and color changing hair touches down lightly upon the stage. In her presence the garlands festooning the stage reach out to her like supplicating hands, the boards of the stage curve and move around her to form the shape of a 5 petaled flower, and the light around her splinters like it's been broken by 10,000 prisms. Looking at the audience with her quicksilver eyes, in a voice so melodious that tears leak involuntarily from the audience's eyes, she intones: I deigned take part in this roast Not to preen, to strut or to boast. But rather to Awaken within you The purpose and will to continue To give back what the world needs most I could waggle my tongue like a mummer And say that Rock's sideburns are dumber Than an Awakener dressed in white Or than kissing a lifeless goodnight But negative energy is just such a bummer. If I wanted I could make Lunamor burn Your scorn he could certainly earn But you in glass houses (Shock!) Shouldn't be throwing your buddy Rock You never know, he may just Return (At this point in Edgli's speech a group of awakened instruments, led by an awakened mop that looks just like Jerry Garcia, begin playing "Uncle John's Band") I'm a hippy, my magic is tie-dyed. You should look at the world wide-eyed, Because it's a wondrous place. I'll Endow with my divine grace To empower but never deride I'm really all about Peace and Love My touch on Nalthis is a velvet glove. At birth I give everyone a breath And no one need ever fear death Because I can make them Return, sort of. Rock you are a remarkable guy A great friend, a great father, but why Use just one pat expression? Please forgive my digression, But if I hear that once more I might cry. That sounded harsh, but it's true Rock, I'm just trying to help you. Hey Look it's my buddy Vasher! I'm sorry, I really gotta dash here- There's this sword I need to look in to. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghanderflaffle Posted October 8, 2020 Report Share Posted October 8, 2020 @Hentient @The_Truthwatcher @I Am A Fish this is your last day! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shard of Reading Posted October 8, 2020 Report Share Posted October 8, 2020 @hoiditthroughthegrapevine that was great! Wonderful puns!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted October 8, 2020 Report Share Posted October 8, 2020 (edited) Alright, here's my Roast! Good luck Truthwatcher! Spoiler *Spensa walks in through the back door behind the audience, slowly making her way to the front as she speaks* My children will hear of Jasnahs defeat this day. Stories whispered around the dinner table, telling the tale of how the glorious Spin brought down the high and mighty Queen of Alethkar. Because you see, I'm not scared of you Brightness Kholin. Despite all the scholarly groups you may be known in I fly into that debris field everyday, While you sit around your books and slowly decay You stay in your libraries, locked away and hiding To afraid to join the true fighting Yes, I’ve heard of your actions at the battle in Thaylen But, as you scholars would say, one action, one moment does not set a trend, I dare you my friend, to do it again You won't, you’d rather wait for the battle to end. I’ve seen your type, I know your kind, You blame this cowardice on the need to refine your mind But the true fighting doesn't happen within the pages of a book, It’s out there, in the field, just look! Cytonics and the Surge of Transportation, we have similar abilities, Different names, but the same possibilities I used my Cytonics to prevent my planets doomsday, But you use your surges to simply run away. Lets recall together Jasnah Kholin, the events of the winds pleasure. Do you remember that particular adventure? You fled from that ship, leaving your ward alone to die. Faking your death, you let them believe the lie. I’ll give you this, you were stabbed in the chest, That gives one the right to take a rest But after you healed, you were nowhere to be found If it were up to me, you’d be uncrowned. *Spensa reaches the front of the room and hops onto M-Bots nose, using him as her own personal stage* Yes, at last we have come to this, It’s a fact that I simply cannot dismiss. *spensa takes a deep bow* Your royal Highness Though I must ask, are you proud to have that crown? To finally be a ruler, now that your father and brother aren’t around? I know what its like to be without a father, To have to prove everyday that you are stronger Unlike you, I wasn't born with privilege or power, I’ve had to work everyday, every hour, to prove i'm not a coward! I’ve voyaged into the unknown, In hopes of bringing peace to my home. Both our worlds, Detritus and Roshar, are dying But when it comes to saving our homes, it seems I’m the only one who’s trying. *Spensa sits on M-Bots wing, swinging her legs, waiting for Jasnahs response.* Edited October 8, 2020 by Hentient 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted October 8, 2020 Report Share Posted October 8, 2020 2 minutes ago, Hentient said: Alright, here's my Roast! Good luck Truthwatcher! Reveal hidden contents *Spensa walks in through the back door behind the audience, slowly making her way to the front as she speaks* My children will hear of Jasnahs defeat this day. Stories whispered around the dinner table, telling the tale of how the glorious Spin brought down the high and mighty Queen of Alethkar. Because you see, I'm not scared of you Brightness Kholin. Despite all the scholarly groups you may be known in I fly into that debris field everyday, While you sit around your books and slowly decay You stay in your libraries, locked away and hiding To afraid to join the true fighting Yes, I’ve heard of your actions at the battle in Thaylen But, as you scholars would say, one action, one moment does not set a trend. I dare you my friend, to do it again! You won't, you’d rather wait for the battle to end. I’ve seen your type, I know your kind, You blame this cowardice on the need to refine your mind But the true fighting doesn't happen within the pages of a book, It’s out there, in the field, just look! Cytonics and the Surge of Transportation, we have similar abilities, Different names, but the same possibilities I used my Cytonics to prevent my planets doomsday, But you use your surges to simply run away. Lets recall together Jasnah Kholin, the events of the winds pleasure. Do you remember that particular adventure? You fled from that ship, leaving your ward alone to die. Faking your death, you let them believe the lie. I’ll give you this, you were stabbed in the chest, That gives one the right to take a rest But after you healed, you were nowhere to be found If it were up to me, you’d be uncrowned. *Spensa reaches the front of the room and hops onto M-Bots nose, using him as her own personal stage* Yes, at last we have come to this, It’s a fact that I simply cannot dismiss. *Spensa takes a deep bow* Your royal Highness Though I must ask, are you proud to have that crown? To finally be a ruler, now that your father and brother aren’t around? I know what its like to be without a father, To have to prove everyday that you are stronger Unlike you, I wasn't born with privilege or power, I’ve had to work everyday, every hour, to prove I'm not a coward! I’ve voyaged into the unknown, In hopes of bringing peace to my home. Both our worlds, Detritus and Roshar, are dying But when it comes to saving our homes, it seems I’m the only one who’s trying. *Spensa sits on M-Bots wing, swinging her legs, waiting for Jasnahs response.* (Sorry, its kinda long) That was awesome!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shard of Reading Posted October 8, 2020 Report Share Posted October 8, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Hentient said: Alright, here's my Roast! Good luck Truthwatcher! Hide contents *Spensa walks in through the back door behind the audience, slowly making her way to the front as she speaks* My children will hear of Jasnahs defeat this day. Stories whispered around the dinner table, telling the tale of how the glorious Spin brought down the high and mighty Queen of Alethkar. Because you see, I'm not scared of you Brightness Kholin. Despite all the scholarly groups you may be known in I fly into that debris field everyday, While you sit around your books and slowly decay You stay in your libraries, locked away and hiding To afraid to join the true fighting Yes, I’ve heard of your actions at the battle in Thaylen But, as you scholars would say, one action, one moment does not set a trend, I dare you my friend, to do it again You won't, you’d rather wait for the battle to end. I’ve seen your type, I know your kind, You blame this cowardice on the need to refine your mind But the true fighting doesn't happen within the pages of a book, It’s out there, in the field, just look! Cytonics and the Surge of Transportation, we have similar abilities, Different names, but the same possibilities I used my Cytonics to prevent my planets doomsday, But you use your surges to simply run away. Lets recall together Jasnah Kholin, the events of the winds pleasure. Do you remember that particular adventure? You fled from that ship, leaving your ward alone to die. Faking your death, you let them believe the lie. I’ll give you this, you were stabbed in the chest, That gives one the right to take a rest But after you healed, you were nowhere to be found If it were up to me, you’d be uncrowned. *Spensa reaches the front of the room and hops onto M-Bots nose, using him as her own personal stage* Yes, at last we have come to this, It’s a fact that I simply cannot dismiss. *spensa takes a deep bow* Your royal Highness Though I must ask, are you proud to have that crown? To finally be a ruler, now that your father and brother aren’t around? I know what its like to be without a father, To have to prove everyday that you are stronger Unlike you, I wasn't born with privilege or power, I’ve had to work everyday, every hour, to prove i'm not a coward! I’ve voyaged into the unknown, In hopes of bringing peace to my home. Both our worlds, Detritus and Roshar, are dying But when it comes to saving our homes, it seems I’m the only one who’s trying. *Spensa sits on M-Bots wing, swinging her legs, waiting for Jasnahs response.* I scudding love this!!! It's incredibly well thought out and I like how compared Spensa and Jasnah Edited October 8, 2020 by Shard of Reading 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted October 8, 2020 Report Share Posted October 8, 2020 (edited) 15 minutes ago, Condensation said: That was awesome!!! 9 minutes ago, Shard of Reading said: I scudding love this!!! It's incredibly well thought out and I like how compared Spensa and Jasnah Thanks!! It was nice to actually have a reason to put off my homework for once. Edited October 8, 2020 by Hentient 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Am A Fish Posted October 8, 2020 Report Share Posted October 8, 2020 A master of cooking, and archery, has come to roast the lamest shard. @hoiditthroughthegrapevine (you were great BTW) Spoiler *@Lunamor walks onto stage picks up a microphone, and begins to speak* *In Unkalaki accent* *Probably sound russian* Hey, listen up, I don't mean to cause @Frustration, But I won't take this chull dung for the rest of this roasts deration, Listen to that roast, got no rhythm, got no rhyme, I'm older than you, I was in Dragonsteel prime, I am a complete, and total legend with a shard bow, I end enemies, with my deadly arrows, What do you say? Rock is stupid and lazy? Sorry Edgli, you're the one who's Alii'uil''ikii crazy, Did anyone else ignore that obnoxious, boring rant? From a supposed "god" who's named after a plant, Because to be honest, I think that the plant does more good, At least it's worth something, am I being understood? I am the cook who puts the spices on right, And if you don't remember I saved Kaladin's life, But while I lay it on just right,* you're laying it on thick, You talk like Shallan, trying to soulcast a stick, I refuse to be insulted by Edgli, the massive ignoramus, Because of all the shards Endowment's by far the lamest, She got no double shards, Seons or Skaze, She lacks cool avatars, or them with radiant ways, She says she's "merciful", "kindly", and "great", She says "I save many from their untimely fates," Well pardon me, if I disagree on how that is a blessing, Most die one week later, Man, your mercy is depressing, I'm just a normal guy, an Unkalaki, But because of my morals, well I can now fly, Yet you are a shard "divine," You should be really doing better, If most people had your competence? They would be beggars, All right, I gotta go, I've a novella to attend to, I'll be there when Odium, well when he decides to end you, Until then I'll be working hard, warding off the fused, Don't forget to stay yourself, a shard who's old news P.S. The entire fanbase likes me more than you, so suck on a cremling, you loser. *Rock drops the mic, and walks off the stage* Spoiler *This is too perfect for me to pass up: Credit for this amazing piece goes to @revelryintheart When you put the chull dung on just right... 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shard of Reading Posted October 8, 2020 Report Share Posted October 8, 2020 @I Am A Fish please teach me how you do that. I really, really, really, like your roasts. Also you have Rock Fan Art. Nothing can beat that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Am A Fish Posted October 8, 2020 Report Share Posted October 8, 2020 Just now, Shard of Reading said: @I Am A Fish please teach me how you do that. I really, really, really, like your roasts. Also you have Rock Fan Art. Nothing can beat that. *shrinks* There were a few parts I really liked, but I overall I don't think it was that good... Also, fan art is not my doing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.