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Tournament: Cosmere Character Roast Battles


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7 hours ago, Herowannabe said:

You said it perfectly.

 

@Paranoid King, @I think I am here.:

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giphy.gif

 

Why thank you! B) But don't forget, if anyone deserves applause it's @Ashspren for kicking this whole thing off in the first place. Seriously, thank you @Ashspren! This really is the greatest thread on the Shard.

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standing-ovation.gif

 

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. We still have one thing left to do... ;)

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10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

We all laughed together

So let’s raise a toast

To Gemmel and Yomen

And their epic roasts!

Both of them brought their best game

For the final round

(final round)

And we’ll never see them the same again!

 

 

It's the final showdown!

(The final showdown)

 

Ohh

Will the Greatest Showman, win PK the brawl?

Or maybe Itiah. He rickrolled us all, yeah

I guess there’s just one way to tell

It’s time to vote!

(time to vote)

Who will win? I just don’t know!

 

It's the final showdown

(The final showdown)

The final showdown

(Final showdown)

Ohh ho ohh

 

The final showdown, Ooh

It's the final showdown

(The final showdown)

The final showdown

(Final showdown)

Ohh

 

It's the final showdown

We’ve all laughed together, Ooh

(The final showdown)

Now it’s time to vote!

It's the final showdown

(Final showdown), Ohh

It's the final showdown

 

(I couldn't resist)

VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!

I'll keep the poll open until Sunday, so go cast your vote, get your friends and coworkers to vote, bribe homeless people off the street to create an account and vote, whatever it takes!

Hero, you’re amazing. Excellent music taste, by the way. 

@Paranoid King and @I think I am here., those roasts were incredible. That was an extremely hard choice... 

Because of both @Herowannabe and @John203, this thread has become the best it’s ever been. I can’t thank you guys enough for how much you’ve done— you’re the real champions here.

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7 hours ago, Sorana said:

Honestly, for me, that was the hardest decision, of all tournaments so far.

Both of you were so good, I can't even think of words fitting your creations. I'm awed.

Agreed. You phrased it better than I could have. ^_^

This round was [insert a whole lot of positive adjectives here] to read. 

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14 hours ago, Herowannabe said:

But don't forget, if anyone deserves applause it's @Ashspren for kicking this whole thing off in the first place. Seriously, thank you @Ashspren! This really is the greatest thread on the Shard.

11 minutes ago, Paranoid King said:

Truly, Ash is...

Ash.jpg

Hear, hear!  *gratitude toast*  To our leet founder!  :D

14 hours ago, Herowannabe said:

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. We still have one thing left to do... ;)

  Reveal hidden contents

 

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

We all laughed together

So let’s raise a toast

To Gemmel and Yomen

And their epic roasts!

Both of them brought their best game

For the final round

(final round)

And we’ll never see them the same again!

 

 

It's the final showdown!

(The final showdown)

 

Ohh

Will the Greatest Showman, win PK the brawl?

Or maybe Itiah. He rickrolled us all, yeah

I guess there’s just one way to tell

It’s time to vote!

(time to vote)

Who will win? I just don’t know!

 

It's the final showdown

(The final showdown)

The final showdown

(Final showdown)

Ohh ho ohh

 

The final showdown, Ooh

It's the final showdown

(The final showdown)

The final showdown

(Final showdown)

Ohh

 

It's the final showdown

We’ve all laughed together, Ooh

(The final showdown)

Now it’s time to vote!

It's the final showdown

(Final showdown), Ohh

It's the final showdown

 

(I couldn't resist)

VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!

I'll keep the poll open until Sunday, so go cast your vote, get your friends and coworkers to vote, bribe homeless people off the street to create an account and vote, whatever it takes!

That was perfect.  :lol:

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@Paranoid King and @I think I am here. those song parodies were fantastic, too bad that like the Highlander, there can be only one true victor.

After the votes have been cast and the smoke has cleared, pip pip to whichever of you stands victorious over the heaped and smoldering remains of roasted contestants past. Your victory was well deserved, your roasts expertly constructed and devastatingly delivered.

Also, @Herowannabe, I loved the Final Show Down parody too, great stuff all around.

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On 07/06/2019 at 1:28 PM, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

pip pip to whichever of you stands victorious

Pip pip is now my new favourite thing to say :lol: And to that Final Countdown parody by Herowannabe, I say pip pip.

If you all vote for me, I swear I will:

Spoiler

Never give you up, nor let you down :P 

(Aha! Textual Rickroll. Take that, Archer.)

Edit: Pip pip to the person who just went ahead and upvoted every Yomen rap I’ve done. You get a special shoutout :D

Edited by I think I am here.
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Alright everyone, the votes have been cast and counted, and the time has come to announce the winner of the Cosmere Character Roast Battle Tournament of Champions! And without further ado, the greatest Roaster in all the Cosmere is- *Drumroll please!

...

Spoiler

5cfde283aa241_rickrollITIAH.gif.dda63d5e6c5fc1c3cb10d3d20af9051e.gif

*Er... Make that a Rickroll. 

Congratulations @I think I am here.! Well earned! 

And thanks to our runner-up, @Paranoid King, and to everyone who participated in this tournament! All the roasts have been a blast to read!


And now, with that done, you might be wondering, what's next?

Well first off, a small announcement to make. @Paranoid King offered to be a Co-Moderator, and @John203 agreed to let him take his place. So a big thank you to @John203 for the work you've done over the past couple months helping me run this! And @Paranoid King, I look forward to working with you on the next tournament. 

And yes, a new tournament is in the works. We'll give it a few days for the dust to settle from the Championship tournament, and then we'll announce and open up sign-ups for the next one (That will also give me a chance to coordinate with my new co-GM). 

Lastly, I could use one or more volunteers to help out a bit. In the very first post of this thread, @Ashspren has a link to an Archive with links to all of the roasts that have been submitted throughout all the tournaments. However, it hasn't been updated in a while. I've been wanting to get it up to date but I haven't had time and don't know if/when I'll ever get around to it. So if someone wanted to go through the thread and fill out the doc with the last couple of tournaments (including links to the roasts) that would be fantastic, and I'll be sure you get showered with lots of upvotes for your efforts. ;) Thanks in advance! 

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1 minute ago, Herowannabe said:

Lastly, I could use one or more volunteers to help out a bit.

Finally! A way that I can conbubrute even with my poor artistic talent!

I volunteer as tribute! It’s going to be so much fun reading through the old roasts!

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1 minute ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

Finally! A way that I can conbubrute even with my poor artistic talent!

I volunteer as tribute! It’s going to be so much fun reading through the old roasts!

Thanks!

Oh and I forgot to mention, the link in my post grants editing privileges, so anyone who wants to help can just click on the link and start editing away. 

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22 minutes ago, Herowannabe said:

Congratulations @I think I am here.! Well earned! 

Thanks everyone! Thanks to Paranoid King, who put up a great competition for the finals. And to that Rickroll edit, that was brilliant, Hero :lol: And good job to everyone who even participated in the tournament, since iirc you had to be a semi-finalist to be in it.

And good luck as Co-Moderator, Paranoid :) 

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Already finished logging Tournament Four into the Archive. @Sorana @anyone else who wants to help, I could use some help with the TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS!!!

I ran out of upvotes going through the old roasts, by the way, good job everyone, so I had to make a bookmark so I can come back later.

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I have been away from the Shard for awhile but on returning this was the first thread I checked. Still amazing! Glad to see it is still going. Might I offer a suggestion? We have had the Tournament of Champions, why not try a Redemption Round? Bring back participants with their original characters who were fan favorites but did not win? Just a thought

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7 hours ago, Butt Ad Venture said:

Already finished logging Tournament Four into the Archive. @Sorana @anyone else who wants to help, I could use some help with the TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS!!!

I ran out of upvotes going through the old roasts, by the way, good job everyone, so I had to make a bookmark so I can come back later.

Thanks, man! You the best.

1 hour ago, AC12 said:

I have been away from the Shard for awhile but on returning this was the first thread I checked. Still amazing! Glad to see it is still going. Might I offer a suggestion? We have had the Tournament of Champions, why not try a Redemption Round? Bring back participants with their original characters who were fan favorites but did not win? Just a thought

Following ashspren's original plan, we're going to have a round of non-cosmere roasters, just to shake things up a bit. After that, I believe we'll be allowing reruns of names. It's not quite the same as what you're suggesting, but people can still choose to play their old characters, if they want.

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Congratulations, Itiah!

Just a suggestion I once had - I don't know if Ash was really considering it, but I'm throwing this out there. OC round. The biggest drawback, admittedly, would be a bunch of people not getting the references in the roasts, but if people gave a little background on their character before they began, it could be possible...*shrugs*

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12 hours ago, AonEne said:

Congratulations, Itiah!

Just a suggestion I once had - I don't know if Ash was really considering it, but I'm throwing this out there. OC round. The biggest drawback, admittedly, would be a bunch of people not getting the references in the roasts, but if people gave a little background on their character before they began, it could be possible...*shrugs*

Thanks Ene! Another drawback I can see is if people take Roasts towards their character to heart. I mean, roasting things like a Cosmere characters arcs, appearance, powers etc. is different because it’s written by Brandon, by if we were to roast OCs that the competitors have made, it may come across as a bigger jab towards the competitor who’s made and developed them. I don’t know though, if you got people who weren’t concerned with all that stuff it could really be fun.

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The tournament of champions is finally over! Congratulations again to Itiah, you killed it as Yomen.

Which means we're just about ready to move on to round 6! Basic rules can be found here, plus a couple of extra rules this round:

  • First and foremost, this is a non-cosmere roast battle! That means no Shardbearers, Allomancers, Elantrians, or Awakeners. However, Smedries, Rithmatists, Reckoners, or Doomslugs are all free game. (My spellchecker hates that entire paragraph.)
  • Secondly, we're going to try and keep things moving fast - If your time is up and you haven't responded yet, your competitor gets an extra vote. If another 24 hours passes without any response, we'll have to move on without you. Extensions can still be requested without penalty, just let Hero or I know how long you need.

And now, without further ado...

Signups have begun for tournament six!

Player list:

Spoiler

Legend: [Player] - [Character] ([Series])

  1. Sorana - Melody (Rithmatist)
  2. Kidpen - Alcatraz Smedry (Alcatraz)
  3. Wyndlerunner - M-Bot (Skyward)
  4. I Think I am Here - Tobias (Legion)
  5. MetaTerminal - Stephen Leeds (Legion)
  6. Ax's Boyfriend - Bastille (Alcatraz)
  7. Snipexe - Jason Write (Defending Elysium)
  8. John203 - Spensa (Skyward)

Pinch Hitters: Archer

 

Edited by Paranoid King
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