+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine Posted January 9, 2019 Report Share Posted January 9, 2019 (edited) On Wednesday, January 09, 2019 at 1:02 PM, Toaster Retribution said: Thy dastardly crook, stealing my beloveth and very oryginal folio. You got an upvote too, you sly... grapevine? (Said grapevine twirls his mustachios and laughs superciliously) Forsoothe, I prayest that this doth not portend That in this forum, with a Toaster's voice Thou shalt cry "Havoc" and let slip the toast of war; That this foul deed involving thine oryginal folio Shouldst cause thee with carrion men, to bury yon dastardly scheming grapevine. Edited January 11, 2019 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted January 10, 2019 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2019 @Gray to @Toaster Retribution @Paranoid King @Herowannabe 48 hours left! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toaster Retribution Posted January 10, 2019 Report Share Posted January 10, 2019 (edited) 23 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said: Forsoothe, I prayest that this doth not portend That in this forum, with a Toaster's voice Thou shalt cry "Havoc" and let slip the toast of war; That this foul dead involving thine oryginal folio Shouldst cause thee with carrion men, to bury yon dastardly scheming grapevine. I maketh thou a scared promise Not to let out the cry ”Havoc” and let put the toast of war in the toaster As long as thou put my oryginal folio back behindeth the tree Edited January 10, 2019 by Toaster Retribution 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine Posted January 10, 2019 Report Share Posted January 10, 2019 1 hour ago, Toaster Retribution said: I maketh thou a scared promise Not to let out the cry ”Havoc” and let put the toast of war in the toaster As long as thou put my oryginal folio back behindeth the tree To tree, or not to tree, that is the question Whether 'tis nobler of the grapevine To suffer the toast and bagels of Retributive Toasters Than to bury this precious folio backst 'neath yon yew tree. etc, etc. Ok, I buried it. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toaster Retribution Posted January 10, 2019 Report Share Posted January 10, 2019 7 minutes ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said: etc, etc. Ok, I buried it. Awesome! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhapsody Posted January 10, 2019 Report Share Posted January 10, 2019 I laughed so hard at this. @Toaster Retribution and @hoiditthroughthegrapevine When I read something written like that I always imagine it said in a very nasal, thin voice and rather arrogantly. and @Sorana I can easily imagine that. I think trying to write shakespearian (is that a word?) would be well beyond my abilities. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toaster Retribution Posted January 10, 2019 Report Share Posted January 10, 2019 @Rhapsody Heh, I’m happy you enjoyed our Shakesperian shenanigans (or hoidits shenanigans, with me having to kind of cooy what he did, since Shakespeare isn’t normally within my skillset either). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhapsody Posted January 11, 2019 Report Share Posted January 11, 2019 @Toaster Retribution yeah I'm now really excited for what you'll come up with for those roasts 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid King Posted January 11, 2019 Report Share Posted January 11, 2019 To quote Shakespeare's famous play, "The Majora's Mask": \ 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted January 12, 2019 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2019 @Paranoid King, @Toaster Retribution, @Gray to, @Herowannabe — 18 hours left! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paranoid King Posted January 12, 2019 Popular Post Report Share Posted January 12, 2019 And now, on the 350th anniversary of Elendel's founding, we, the Ashmount Theaters, release a special production commemorating the life of The Survivor! Coming soon to theaters around Elendel, this play is based on the raising and training of The Survivor. Some of the accounts have been slightly adapted for release in theater, but the core of the story remains the same. A few scenes have been chosen to showcase this momentous play. We hope to see a full house on the release of the final performance. This is Ashmount. Spoiler Act II, Scene I The scene is set on the rooftops of Luthadel. The spires of Kredik Shaw can be seen in the background, highlighted by the full moon. A light rain of ash is falling. Enter GEMMEL carrying HUMAN SKULL, stage left. GEMMEL (To SKULL): Afore the night began, I'd swornto test my skill as a mistborn,I donned my cloak, sharpened my knife,prepared for the fight of my life.As shadows fell, I found my mark -A figure with inhuman spark.But tragedy! - My cloak was spied.It fled with an intent to hide.I tracked my prey from hill to hill,preparing for the final kill.And with a scream to shatter faith,I fell upon the vile mistwraith. GEMMEL throws SKULL to ground, shattering it, then turns to Kredik Shaw. GEMMEL: Alas, with ease, I won the fight. I'll find a foe to slay tonight. Lights turn on to reveal KELSIER (Young) sitting in corner of roof: I'faith, I cannot carry on.My wife is dead, the Ruler's pawn.My eyes defiant, smile strained -But nothing ventured, nothing gained!I'll train to conquer every duel!I'll slay the god, and end his rule!All challengers will fear my name!For centuries, my tale proclaim! GEMMEL: He'll do. GEMMEL walks to KELSIER, who rises in fear. KELSIER (To self): A mistborn! Ah, my careless cheerhas served to bring a noble here.Untrained still, I'll rely on speechto find a mentor who will teach. KELSIER composes himself, standing up straighter. Good sir, I am a mistborn, too,and leader of a motley crew.Surely I'll reward thy trainingwith the gold I have remaining. GEMMEL considers for a moment, then punches KELSIER, who falls down. KELSIER leaps to his feet: By the ashmounts! What was that for!? I've half a mind to change that score.Now you've raised my righteous ire!That mistcloak will become thy pyre! A FIERCE BATTLE rages for several seconds, until KELSIER is defeated. GEMMEL: Again? It seems my fate is cursed. This duel was lesser than the first!A challenger to fight I sought.it seems my efforts came to naught. KELSIER leaps to his feet, spitting out a tooth. A challenger to fight, you say?I think I have another way.a year to train me in thy art.(Not long to learn - but it's a start.)After that time, a final bout!By then, I will erase all doubtthat my attacks are "dull" and "weak".I'll be the challenge that you seek. GEMMEL: A hefty price for me to pay, if at the end, ye walk away.I need myself a guarantee,that ye'll not simply turn and flee,after thy training's near complete.What price would ye pay for deceit? KELSIER: From challenge I would never run. Such treachery I'd quickly shun.Whatever the cost, I'll agreeto pay the price that you decree. GEMMEL: Thy promise carries mighty weight. And with that said, I know thy fate.If ye run, to start new life fresh,I'll take from you a pound of flesh. KELSIER reels back: By the mists, what did you just say you'd take if I had run away?I think my ears are growing oldto think this man would be so bold! GEMMEL: Ye heard me. KELSIER (Hesitating): Perhaps I heard again unclear.You said you wish to take my ear?And maybe fingers, or an eye?I'm left to ask the question - why?!? GEMMEL: Young man, when old age takes its toll,the limbs less spry, the senses dull.I seek a way to spend my timewith things less "violent" than my prime.And so the hobby that I likeis nothing but collecting spikes.A place to hold them's what I need -And that is why I ask this deed. KELSIER: Okay, I get it, fine, enough. The creepy price prob'ly's a bluff.I won't flee, when do I begin,to learn to burn copper, or tin? GEMMEL tosses KELSIER a vial of metals: Ye'll start with steel, strongest of all. 'Twill save thee when ye start to fall.Under that roof's edge, there's a nail.Leap off - I'll catch thee if ye fail. KELSIER goes to the edge of the roof. What are these lines? What does steel do? I'd like instruction, I've no clue. GEMMEL pushes KELSIER off of the roof. Exit KELSIER, stage bottom. GEMMEL (To self): He'll figure it out. Several scenes have been omitted from the preview to make your eventual viewing experience all the sweeter. We apologize for the inconvenience. Act II, Scene III The scene is set in the Luthadel outskirts. GEMMEL and KELSIER fly in from stage right, battling with glass daggers. Several padded clips are orbiting each of them. KELSIER throws a handful of clips at GEMMEL, who dodges: Old man, your skill's no match to mine!I've fought the battles you decline.Thy age makes thee all soft and weak.Today I'll end thy winning streak! GEMMEL (Breathing heavily): I took ye in a year ago, thy arm was weak, reflexes slow.Ye've taken to thy lessons well,And tried - unlike Sebarial.But still, I'll pound thee full of dents!Youth's no match for experience!I'm bound to win, records agree,The score stands eighty-six to three! KELSIER flips over GEMMEL, throwing a dagger. GEMMEL pushes a vial of metal into the way to deflect it, and the vial shatters, spraying metallic flakes and liquid everywhere. GEMMEL uses the flakes as cover to shoot a spray of padded coins, one of which hits KELSIER. GEMMEL: With one dagger and "wounded" side,give up now and concede thy pride.Save thy strength for tomorrow's duel -Going all out, ye'll need thy fuel. KELSIER, preparing for another attack, comes to a halt: Tomorrow then? The time has come? My fate is set, my prospects glum.To lose the fight and lose my life,or leave, and go avenge my wife.But if he caught me when I fled -methinks he would remove my head.To go or stay? To flee or fight?How do I know which way is right? GEMMEL, instead of listening, is muttering to himself: Now if I riot him away, Tracking him down is child's play.And fights I've had these past few years.I know I stand above my peers.. But my collection's rather small.Maybe I'll fight him after all. For if I win, the body's mine,to mold into my box design. KELSIER (To self): And if I flee, for but a spell, I'm as bad as Sebarial. Whose promises are like the wind,given out only to rescind.But hold a time, I spot a wayMy honor stays intact today.I made no promise, just a trade.That if I leave, I'll taste his blade.But ... did he say the flesh was mine?A noble's life would do just fine. GEMMEL (To self): It's settled, then, my blades I'll wield,and face him on the battlefield.I'll soothe his thoughts to make him fight.I'll ensure he'll not run of fright. KELSIER (To self): My plan now set, I'm filled with rage! I'll lure a noble to my cage.My fear is gone, 'twill go as planned.I'll fulfill his inane demand. KELSIER: Old Man, tomorrow you'll be shocked.I'll repay thee for being mocked. GEMMEL: Then that's the way the debt is paid,I'm quite satisfied with this trade.I'm looking forward to thy fight,We'll see who's dead tomorrow night. KELSIER (Confident): The one I fight will stand no chance. I'll beat him in this deadly dance.My knives are sharp, my skills are set.I'll finish him for sure, I bet. KELSIER exits stage left, towards keep Shezlier GEMMEL: His confidence has been misplaced. When he fights me, he'll be erased.The final battle's what I seek.It's time to cap my winning streak. GEMMEL exits stage right. Several scenes have been omitted from the preview to make your eventual viewing experience all the sweeter. We apologize for the inconvenience. Act II, Scene V The scene is set in a large courtyard. A LARGE BOX stands to the right, with a NOTE pinned to it. GEMMEL is pacing impatiently. Every so often, he pulls out a clock and checks the time. GEMMEL: It seems I've placed my faith unwell - He's as late as Sebarial.Ten minutes late, and not a sign.Was this by chance? Or by design?I'll track him down, what'er the cost,and find the debt that he thought lost.And when he's found, he'll lose his grin -I'm far worse than Pits of Hathsin. The BOX shakes, as though someone inside is trying to escape. BOX (Muffled): Is this a joke? Now let me out! How did this trapping come about? GEMMEL does not hear the BOX, and paces more furiously: My ears are weak, I've dimmer eyes,But I'll see through his poor disguise!For breaking oath and turning tailI'll set upon his meager trail!Though run he may, he cannot hide,from his mentor and from his guide.All that he knows, he learned from me,but tricks I've kept he did not see! His steel and iron are prepared,but other metals have been sparedHis zinc is brash, his brass doth stinkhis pewter use is out of sync.Tin unclear, copper untrainedUse of bronze is not ingrained.When asked his trade, he cannot answer"Fully trained, an allomancer!" BOX (Muffled): If hostage, I'll spare no expense To get my body safely hence.My noble treasury's not faint.I'll reward thee without complaint! GEMMEL does not hear, but raises his voice: It's settled then, I'll take pursuitand fall upon that smiling brute!I'll find the fight that I foresawby exploiting his every flaw.I'll take my leave, settle affairs.Kelsier - Best say thy prayers! Laughing maniacally, GEMMEL exits, stage left, leaving the BOX alone. BOX: Hello? END OF ACT II Ashmount hopes you have enjoyed this program. 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herowannabe Posted January 12, 2019 Report Share Posted January 12, 2019 (edited) 4 hours ago, Ashspren said: @Paranoid King, @Toaster Retribution, @Gray to, @Herowannabe — 18 hours left! Quick update on me: my week has been busy, crazy, and exhausting. Its 11:52pm local time, and I need to get in the shower. Then tomorrow I need to get up early and go to an event I’m hosting which will last all day and into the evening. I haven’t had a chance to start my rap yet- I haven’t even read my partner @Paranoid King‘s rap yet. If I’m allowed a short extension I’ll do everything within my power to get something written tomorrow night after my all-day event is done. Otherwise I’m afraid I’ll have to forfeit this round. Either way, I apologize everyone! Edited January 12, 2019 by Herowannabe 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray to Posted January 12, 2019 Report Share Posted January 12, 2019 Sorry I didn't do much of that whole theatre setting thing Spoiler Curtains open to reveal Sebarial lounging on a couch sipping some wine. To scheme or not to scheme, that is the question, I am Sebarial, and the shattered plains is where I find my quest in. I am the Highprince of commerce, so I maketh deals with ease, I may come off as a horrid baboon, but in reality I am a sly fox between the leaves. My precious Palona's warcamp shall have victory looming, my people are fearless, and business is booming. Thou has no taste in culture, for I have all the finest cooks but I'll be sure to serveth thee the head of Gemmel the disgusting crook. For this duel I entrust the roasts to Kelsier With Preservation's power, this battle is guaranteed to be messier. Turi and the Half-Skaa, wrecking allomancers and Elantrians with class, defeating Gemmel and Galladon and shattering them like glass, I could beat them with my eyes closed, they're hopeless i can tell, a corrupted nut and a farmer boy from duladel. We will attack with all the manpower and skills we can dump, to ensure they end up like the parents of Grump. Sebarial claps his hands, and as the curtains close, servants come and begin to massage him. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toaster Retribution Posted January 12, 2019 Report Share Posted January 12, 2019 Kelsiers rap. I apologize for my bad Shakespearian language. I tried :-D Spoiler *Kelsier enters, with his left hand behind his back* I am Kelsier, Survivor of the horrors of the Piths of Hathsin, the mosteth dreadful place in the entireth of the Final Empire. I haveth slayed nobles, I haveth slayed pitiful soldiers, I haveth slayed Inquisitors, and I haveth punched two Shards of Adonalsium. I haveth theived from the richest of the rich, and taketh thye gold, thye silver and thye atium. My beloveth companion has risen and becometh a Shard. And the fair lady who held Preservation beforeth his Ascension was my ward. Enter this duel with dread, contestants, and prayeth that you have Hoid as a guard. For the Survivor of Death, nothing is hard. (Not even imitating Shakespeare Kelsier thought, and smiled). Beforeth I start roasting thee, I shall introduce my companion and beloveth brother He loveth spikes for eyes, and shaveth his head For occupation he has choseth the dastardly job of scaring people dead! His name is Marsh, and brother, with that sour-as-the-most-dreadful-of-lemons look on your face, you shall never get wed. *Marsh enters, and looks like he would rather be someplace else* I am an Inquisitor, and serveth Harmony. I haveth a longer life thanks to thee atium in this vial. And am currently investigating Southern Scadr-ial. *Marsh looks at Kelsier*. “Brother, this is silly. Can’t we just skip this?” Kelsier shakes his head. “Remember our deal, big bro. You do the Shakespeare rap with me, I help you find this Trell guy for Harmony when we’re done.” Marsh looks almost desperate. “Please brother. Can’t we at least rap like normal people?” Kelsier shakes his head. “Marsh, what is a Shakespeare rap without Shakespeare. Lets get on with this now.” Marsh sighs, but nods. “The things I do for Scadrial.” *The rap goes on.* Kelsier: The first among thee to face the roastly burns of death shall be Galladon So pessimistic that a poor man of fishery refers to him as Grump Personally, rather than feasting with him, I’d spend my time drinking with a stump Thou believeth thou could save the Elantrians But thou never did it with style, the way I saveth the Scadrians (I did it thrice). Now thou travel the Cosmere Looking for a man I’ve found just by dying I am certain you never faileth to find him for lack of boldly trying But you have to understand, that in your quest, everyone but you will be lying Marsh: Thy were dead once, Galladon Thy shouldeth haveth stayeth that way Or Death wouldn’t have cometh at thou to Ruin thy day Thy think thy wereth dedicatedth to Raodenth eh? Not comparedth to me, heh. Thou helped find some foodeth for thou cause I became an Inquisitorth for mine cause At thy end of thy day, thou areth just a simpleth farmer. My brother is the Survivoreth and I am Death. These roasts just keeps getting warmer. *Kelsier interrupts Marsh* “Marsh, you can’t put “th” at the end of every single word. Rusts, you just renamed Raoden!” Marsh looks confused. “I thought that was what we were doing. Adding “th” to stuff and sounding stupid.” Kelsier sighs. “No, Marsh, this is art. Art requires thought, expectation, an audience… have you read the epilogues of Stormlight?” “What?” “Never mind. Just chill a little on the “th”-endings. After all, its Romeo and Juliet, not Romeoth and Julieth.Hamlet, not Hamleth. Macbeth not… you know, never mind. Just chill a little.” “Sure.” “Great! Then lets roast my old teacher!” Kelsier: Now I haveth gotten to thou, my old mentor and friend of many years Thy haircut looketh like a bush without nature to take care of it And thy eyes with madness are lit Tell me, master, was every step thou took of Ruin Or wereth thou simply a dastardly madman? Either way, thou lessons alloweth me to reach the greatness of the books and the lore Thou never got there, because thou were such a bore Just thinking about thou maketh my mind sore I’ll stop this roast beforeth Marsh falls asleep Marsh: I haveth heard a lot about thou, Gemmel And I haveth seen that mine brother eclipsed thy skills in every way I know this, thy dastardly villain That thy mind was corrupted, and never thy own And that thou only purpose was to lead my beloveth brother to a false metal Vin, Elend, Kelsier and Zaneth Shall all be remebered in the tales and dramas of Scadrial While thou shall be reduced to a footnote *The roast ends, and Marsh turns to Kelsier* “Now we will go find Trell, brother.” Kelsier smiles, and shows his left hand, which has been kept behind his back the whole time. The fingers are crossed. “This means no promise, Marsh. You should have asked me to show my hand. Good luck with the Trell thing. I have a southern continent to deal with. Good to rap with you.” Kelsier smiles, and steelpushes away. Marsh looks after him. “Rusts and ruin.” 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted January 12, 2019 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2019 13 hours ago, Herowannabe said: Quick update on me: my week has been busy, crazy, and exhausting. Its 11:52pm local time, and I need to get in the shower. Then tomorrow I need to get up early and go to an event I’m hosting which will last all day and into the evening. I haven’t had a chance to start my rap yet- I haven’t even read my partner @Paranoid King‘s rap yet. If I’m allowed a short extension I’ll do everything within my power to get something written tomorrow night after my all-day event is done. Otherwise I’m afraid I’ll have to forfeit this round. Either way, I apologize everyone! Hero, I totally get it, so go ahead. This weekend is busy for me, too, so you would’ve gotten an extension anyway. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine Posted January 12, 2019 Report Share Posted January 12, 2019 (edited) @Paranoid King, @Gray to and @Toaster Retribution those were amazing! Paranoid, that was some seriously gripping, edge of your seat, capital T theater. Really nice work! Wish we had the whole play. I love the fitting end you devised for Sebarial, Kelsier knowing how much he loves money gives him a Scadrian boxing, so clever! Gray to great job on your Roast! It sounds just like Sebarial. This line was great. 17 hours ago, Gray to said: For this duel I entrust the roasts to Kelsier With Preservation's power, this battle is guaranteed to be messier. Toaster, that's some funny rust! Yours was definitely a Shakespearean Comedy. Marsh the reluctant roaster was great, the bit with the added th endings was hilarious. Edited January 13, 2019 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid King Posted January 13, 2019 Report Share Posted January 13, 2019 4 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said: @Paranoid King, @Gray to and @Toaster Retribution those were amazing! Paranoid, that was some seriously gripping, edge of your seat, capital T theater. Really nice work! Wish we had the whole play. I love the fitting end you devised for Sebarial, Kelsier knowing how much he loves money gives him a Scadrian boxing, so clever! Thanks, Hoidit! I was thinking of including the two missing acts, but I can only handle so much rhyming before I burn out. And, uh, the ending pun was unintentional, but thanks for the compliment! 13 hours ago, Toaster Retribution said: "Marsh, you can’t put “th” at the end of every single word. Rusts, you just renamed Raoden!” Marsh looks confused. “I thought that was what we were doing. Adding “th” to stuff and sounding stupid.” Haha! Marsh is spot on! I just changed "your" to "thy" and called it a day. Iambic pentameter is way beyond my league. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toaster Retribution Posted January 13, 2019 Report Share Posted January 13, 2019 @hoiditthroughthegrapevine @Paranoid King Thanks for the compliments guys! Glad you found it funny. I really like what you came up with as well King. The whole thetre setting is great. And @Gray to did a splendid job as well. Looking forward to see what Hero comes up with. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray to Posted January 13, 2019 Report Share Posted January 13, 2019 @Paranoid King @Toaster Retribution thanks for everything guys! This was a great round! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herowannabe Posted January 13, 2019 Report Share Posted January 13, 2019 About 2/3rds done with my entry. I’m going to church now, and then I’ll finish up this afternoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archer Posted January 13, 2019 Report Share Posted January 13, 2019 1. Awesome roasts, everybody! And I look forward to reading yours, Herowannabe. 2. Ashspren, I have a suggestion. Perhaps while everyone is choosing and voting for Returned names, you could announce who is up for the next round? The last two rounds have shown that people don't tend to post their raps until the third day anyway, so there's not likely to be any overlap. It would go something like, Sunday: Returned names are submitted and next round's contestants are announced, Monday: voting for the Returned, Tuesday: New roasts get posted, Wednesday: vote on roasts. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted January 13, 2019 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2019 (edited) 3 hours ago, Archer said: 1. Awesome roasts, everybody! And I look forward to reading yours, Herowannabe. 2. Ashspren, I have a suggestion. Perhaps while everyone is choosing and voting for Returned names, you could announce who is up for the next round? The last two rounds have shown that people don't tend to post their raps until the third day anyway, so there's not likely to be any overlap. It would go something like, Sunday: Returned names are submitted and next round's contestants are announced, Monday: voting for the Returned, Tuesday: New roasts get posted, Wednesday: vote on roasts. I like that idea, and it seems like it would work. I’ll start that this round. Edit: And look at my reputation title... what a coincidence. Edited January 13, 2019 by Ashspren 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Herowannabe Posted January 13, 2019 Popular Post Report Share Posted January 13, 2019 (edited) Okay, finally done with this. I decided to go with a Shakespearian Tragedy spin on things, and I'm afraid into turned into more of Galladon moping than spending time roasting his opponents, but I guess that fits Galladon. Edit: thanks to @Paranoid King for helping me with the fonts! Spoiler SCENE: GALLADON WANDERS FORLORNLY THROUGH THE SLIME-FILLED STREETS OF ELANTRIS GALLADON: What is this sight that breaks before mine eyes? A pair of haughty knaves come to despise Me, the Wretch of Elantris, Galladon, Fallen from good standing, beloved by none Woe cometh to me to be treated so By foppish rulos who could never know How to strive and sweat with the empty hand To till the earth and to harvest the land Kelsier, Survivor, the Fraud of Mists And Highprince Sebarial, fond of trysts Two “noble”-men, but both of them the fool ‘Gainst me with a madman as mine only sule One, an egotist with a swollen head Who refuseth to admit when he’s dead The other a wastrel, it might be said, Who only is good at lounging in bed. Is it my lot to be taunted by these? The embodiments of social disease? Alas, I cannot bear to be thus scorned! Little doth they know I shall soon be mourned! AS GALLADON WALKS THE HAUNTING SOUND OF A CHOIR BEGINS TO BE HEARD. HOED CHOIR: Unending agony, suff’ring and spite! The day dawns no more, I see only night! GALLADON: What forlorn refrain now tickles my ears? It doth be the Hoed, sharing their tears HOED CHOIR: We were so beautiful, so beautiful once! *Meaningless gurgles, mumbles, and grunts* GALLADON: The Hall of the Fallen, last resting place Of them stripped of life, solace and grace GALLADON ENTERS THE HALL OF THE FALLEN. HOED CHOIR: Please! Havest thou some food that thou canst spare? Grief! Grief more arduous than any could bear! GALLADON: My feet brought me here, but Shame did so first Mine depravity causeth mine heart to burst The chagrin is more than I canst endure So I maketh this place mine sepulcher. HOED CHOIR: These pains, like a flame, consumeth me whole! Merciful Domi, release now my soul! GALLADON: To suffer death once, it didst not suffice My anguish causeth me to suffer it twice Farewell, Elantris, ever cruel and more, I offereth mine soul up unto the Dor. THE CHANTING OF THE CHOIR REACHES A CRESCENDO. HOED CHOIR: Death is more dark than hath ever been penned! What fate hath brought this ignominious end? GALLADON RAISES THE BACK OF HIS HAND TO HIS FOREHEAD, THEN SLUMPS DOWN THE THE GROUND, LIFELESS. THE SOUNDS OF THE CHOIR FADE AWAY AS THE HALL GROWS SILENT, NOTING THE PASSING OF SUCH A GREAT MAN. SUDDENLY, GALLADON LETS OUT A SIGH, THEN SITS UP. GALLADON: Alas, The Reaper seeth fit to pay me no heed It must be mine fate to join the Hoed To sit here and whine my miserable lot Shouting my grief while mine body doth rot But what meager mantra shall I now repeat? There is but one thing that seemeth me meet I shall chant the thing which hath brought me so low “I’m surrounded by idiots, kolo?” CURTAIN FALLS. Edited January 14, 2019 by Herowannabe Changed fonts 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine Posted January 14, 2019 Report Share Posted January 14, 2019 That was amazing Herowannabe! I loved the Hoed Choir, there lines are incredibly well written, they sound like a classical Greek chorus from Aesychlus. The meter of this line is phenomenal: 17 hours ago, Herowannabe said: HOED CHOIR: These pains, like a flame, consumeth me whole! Merciful Domi, release now my soul! And I love the ending, it's classic Grump. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted January 14, 2019 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2019 Here's the link! Awesome job, everyone... Shakespeare would be jealous. https://goo.gl/forms/KreJYlVHnJPBDB7m2 VOTE VOTE VOTE! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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