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Tournament: Cosmere Character Roast Battles


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6 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Rad!
Those were so good!

@Ashspren I would definitely be in for Competition 2 if that's still an option.

Thanks @Toaster Retribution for the heads up, this thread is pure gold.

Absolutely! I’ll put you down on the reserved list.

5 hours ago, Toaster Retribution said:

Oh! Amaram likes this! He hasn’t bought a birthday present for gift for Sadeas yet.

I’M DYING THIS IS HILARIOUS. :P

 

As a heads-up, voting will close in 10 hours! 

Edited by Ashspren
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 I really wish I could rhyme, I would totally sign up next time if I had any skill. 

P.S. I really thought the lord ruler rap was the best, but I now saw the offer. I would like to cash in for two Skaa please.

P.P.S. No, I am not at all biased, even though I love steel inquisitors, koloss, kandra, the final empire, and compounding.

Edited by Ark1002
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1 minute ago, Apollyon said:

@Ashspren, Just to clarify, competitors in the 1st tournament can't compete in the second? Oh, and I assume that a character that's been used can't be used in later competitions?

Whyever not? Putting a 1 game restriction on players and/or characters would make this a very short lived game. 

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3 minutes ago, Apollyon said:

@Ashspren, Just to clarify, competitors in the 1st tournament can't compete in the second? Oh, and I assume that a character that's been used can't be used in later competitions?

You’re totally allowed to compete! However, I won’t allow any of the competitors in the first tournament to reserve a spot. Sorry. :(

Does that seem like a good compromise? If not, I can change it...

Edited by Ashspren
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Before I post my contribution I'd like to thank you @Ashspren for the organization and the time you took making this possible. I had a lot of fun writing these lines, so Thanks a lot!

It's a bit a mixture between poetry and lyrics. I don't listen to rap but I looked up some texts as examples. I put it behind a Spoiler Tag because there are some slight spoilers for warbreaker, mbera1, SA.

Spoiler

Your life

 

I know what you'll say

That I'm stiff and cold

Yes, I followed their lead,

All for a rule.

 

But then I discovered

What that really means

What I'd given up

Just for a stool

 

So I opened my eyes

And took my life

Gave up on my throne

In order to fight.

 

You sit in your chambers

With no one to trust

Some servants are there

Oh, Susebron King

 

They call you big titles

But you're just a puppet

You do what they tell you

With no own oppinion

 

You are mighty in power

No question to that

But you're coy as a puppy

And know nothing at all

 

Countless whispers

Deep in Szeths head

They confuse your thoughts

Till nothing is left

 

You follow Honor

Justice you claim

But what are you good at?

So many you've slain

 

You don't decide

Always following others

Not facing your crimes

Only running away

 

And who is this?

Our small, quiet Vin

A beaten street urchin

Alone without friends

 

You are but a pawn

Nothing more than a weapon

They use you to fight

In their ancient war

 

They fed you lies

And you fell for the ruse

Condemning your love

And the entire world

 

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21 hours ago, Ashspren said:

Cogratulations to @Zath, who represented Spook— the winner of this round!

YAY!  :D  *happy dance*  Ahem.

*dignified samurai bow to Matias, Nathrangking, and Bitbito*  You were worthy opponents.  I respect your skill and fortitude at insults.  *ceremonial gong sounds in the background*  ;)

17 hours ago, Ashspren said:

You’re totally allowed to compete! However, I won’t allow any of the competitors in the first tournament to reserve a spot. Sorry. :(

Does that seem like a good compromise? If not, I can change it...

12 hours ago, Toaster Retribution said:

I would also suggest that already-used characters can be used again. Someone asked about that too.

So, anyone can sign up as any character, but previous contestants can't reserve a spot in advance, which gives newcomers priority.  And no one can reserve a character in advance.  Sounds fair to me. :)

Meanwhile...  *cue old-timey announcer voice*

"Round 2 of the Cosmere Character Roast Battle Tournament is underway!  Vin (represented by none other than the great Gray to) starts out with a blistering barrage of rap battle boasts! 
Soon after, Vivenna (championed by the superlative Sorana) responds rapidly with a roasting retort! 
What will the God King Susebron (the cool as a cucumber @Kramerfarve) and the Assassin in White Szeth (the willful wonder @Wyndlerunner), come up with to counteract these caustic calls of Cosmere contempt?!  Stay tuned, folks, for this round will end and the voting will begin in just over 24 hours from now!  Who will stand victorious in the end?!"

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28 minutes ago, Zath said:

Meanwhile...  *cue old-timey announcer voice*

"Round 2 of the Cosmere Character Roast Battle Tournament is underway!  Vin (represented by none other than the great Gray to) starts out with a blistering barrage of rap battle boasts! 
Soon after, Vivenna (championed by the superlative Sorana) responds rapidly with a roasting retort! 
What will the God King Susebron (the cool as a cucumber @Kramerfarve) and the Assassin in White Szeth (the willful wonder @Wyndlerunner), come up with to counteract these caustic calls of Cosmere contempt?!  Stay tuned, folks, for this round will end and the voting will begin in just over 24 hours from now!  Who will stand victorious in the end?!"

That is beautiful. Also, “blistering barrage...” what awesome alliteration.

(And I just realized that “awesome alliteration” is also alliteration...)

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