Wyndlerunner Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Well done @ILuvHats! That roast definitely fit Taravangian. I loved the diagram bit at the beginning. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toaster Retribution Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Brilliantly done, @ILuvHats! Going at Amarams arc is an extreme low blow though, but I guess it fits smart Taravangian pretty well... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felt Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 In the fight for supremacy of the 4th roast tournament, one round stands out…. The Nobility of Roshar is grouped together to roast each other… While the smoke rises from the Rift based roasts, in a clearing a figure steps out, dressed in a splendid coat made of the best Liaforian fabrics…. While the word HATE appears in golden flames on the ground, he starts to rap in a perfect beat, initiating the end of this round…. Spoiler Yo, my name is Adolin, last ones Kholin Ima keep rollin’, and try to get your vote in The end of the beginning, The nobles are sinning The flow of my rhyme ….straight up winning Now I think all of you heard that I’m a ladies man But getting married… wasn’t a part of the plan I’ve been known to quicken heart rates When a woman seduces she sedates I’ll tell you what awaits, I’ve been on many dates Washing dishes and plates, has never been one of my good traits So I don’t dance, to what A Vorin woman dictates. First off I’m gonna tell you, about my next of kin I know we are crazy, I know we’re full of sin So daddy o daddy, what you up to now? You couldn’t win this round, you wouldn’t know how The people are scared of you, for that they have good reason If you don’t watch your back, you’ll have to deal with high treason So when you deal with nations, you have to collaborate (Just look at me) All the people I accommodate I’m an advocate of the appropriate I liberate, and I motivate You are a barbarian, and all you can do is intimidate You just keep sinning, ima tell it to you straight At the end of this, you’ll still be Rayses play mate Next up is Amaram the man with the power Your heart and soul stink, go take a shower Evil to the core, respectable on the outside But when I come for you, there is nowhere to hide Now you asking for permission, and acting all nice But when Odium came knocking, you sold your soul thrice The words you emulate, are empty and full of hate Mine are sophisticate, and relate you to the primate Stupid like a single cell organism called bacterium Like a chicken in an aquarium, you’d be submitting to odium Your roasts are so stupid (I just can’t believe it), So while I hold my cranium, ima ride off with my Ryshadium Now last up is Taravanian, he’s a man of state He’s stupid and he’s smart, and prone to miscalculate He’s lying in wait, deciding the children’s fate For him a mental checkup, is really due date So let me give you an update, you discriminate and depopulate You are the provoker of desolations, and you don’t deserve a clean slate For all you Odium lovers out there, between me and you While you don’t have anybody, I’ve got a whole crew So let me berate, quicken your heart rate All the competition I incapacitate, while you recuperate When you negotiate, you negate I mediate, You obliterate I give life and I resuscitate, You fabricate and I create I am master of my fate and once more I reiterate that at this flow rate I’ll make you stop the HATE 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted November 10, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 It if was up to me, I’d start a petition to make the Rosharan nobility participate in at least one rap battle... um, Stormlight 4 anyone? Here’s the link... https://goo.gl/forms/LpwFpZqhUllqElM72 VOTE VOTE VOTE! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ILuvHats Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 (edited) 6 hours ago, Felt said: Now last up is Taravanian, Misspelling my name, huh? I’ll misspell YOU’RE name, Adolan! Quote Well done @ILuvHats! That roast definitely fit Taravangian. I loved the diagram bit at the beginning. Quote Brilliantly done, @ILuvHats! Going at Amarams arc is an extreme low blow though, but I guess it fits smart Taravangian pretty well... Thanks! Good job to you guys too! Edited November 10, 2018 by ILuvHats 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Those were all great, but I feel like I'm being compelled by a series of events beyond my control to vote for @ILuvHats Taravangian roast. All around great stuff 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herowannabe Posted November 10, 2018 Report Share Posted November 10, 2018 Yeah this is is a though choice. Great job everyone! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felt Posted November 11, 2018 Report Share Posted November 11, 2018 Great roasts all around But I have to say, I almost voted for TaravanGian, dude that is a master piece 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted November 11, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2018 (edited) And the winner is... @Felt, with Adolin! ~~~ Next up... @John203, with Hrathen! @BitBitio, with Shai! @Spacefaring Ferring, with Lightsong! Good luck everyone! Edited November 11, 2018 by Ashspren 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toaster Retribution Posted November 11, 2018 Report Share Posted November 11, 2018 Congrats @Felt! Great job to the rest of us! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ILuvHats Posted November 11, 2018 Report Share Posted November 11, 2018 Yeah. That was a battle well one. Killer roast @Felt. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felt Posted November 11, 2018 Report Share Posted November 11, 2018 great round, I really enjoyed the roasts!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Ark1002 Posted November 11, 2018 Report Share Posted November 11, 2018 I follow, but my favorite part is the next set of rounds, the semifinals and the finals. We usually get the best roasts there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sorana Posted November 12, 2018 Report Share Posted November 12, 2018 @BitBitio Your turn! I'm excited to see what you will write for Shai!!! And of course I'm excited for the other entries as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted November 13, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 (edited) @John203, @BitBitio, @Spacefaring Ferring — your 48 hours is up. I’ll give you another 24, but please let me know if it isn’t possible for you to get your raps in. Edited November 13, 2018 by Ashspren 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Ark1002 Posted November 13, 2018 Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 Wait... Three didn't do it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhapsody Posted November 13, 2018 Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 No one did their roasts... what's happening? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidpen Posted November 13, 2018 Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 Can we still reserve spots? If yes, would you be willing to let me choose a non cosmere character? Doomslug is mine. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitBitio Posted November 13, 2018 Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 3 hours ago, Ashspren said: @John203, @BitBitio, @Spacefaring Ferring — your 48 hours is up. I’ll give you another 24, but please let me know if it isn’t possible for you to get your raps in. I'll get mine in tonight for sure. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted November 13, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 1 hour ago, Kidpen said: Can we still reserve spots? If yes, would you be willing to let me choose a non cosmere character? Doomslug is mine. Not this time, but Doomslug would be GREAT. (I’ve only read the sample chapters, so no spoilers beyond Chapter 15...) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezzik Posted November 13, 2018 Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 I am Hrathen, Lord of blazin' Foolish heathen Superstition. Fjordell nation Busting pagans My religion No contendin'. You ignorin' The convention May help you win At Tarachin, But you can't spin Ev-erythin'- Declaration: You weren't dreamin' Your girlfriend's grin 'Cause your own sin. No salvation From her pale end A sad fridgin' Motivation To believe in Your religion And stop lazin' And do somethin' You faker Stenn- Imar. I win. Is Lift runnin' As though I'm Nin? Scared of changin'. Cultivation Ain't protectin' You from this un'- You're more than ten. The onsettin' Of menstruation Is signallin' You're not gettin' Your request, and Some regrowin' Won't be savin' from this lashin'. Your precious Wyn- Dle ain't helpin'- You're annoyin' No escapin'. Puny urchin. There's no gettin' out this rappin' Confrontation. While y'all wastin' Life you're given I'm redeemin' A whole nation Will be thankin' My deeds, even Foe Raoden (Elantrian) Eulogizin'- Their salvation. No contestin' My Dominion 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Ark1002 Posted November 13, 2018 Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 Sorry Bit, but I have to vote for Hrathen. That was my first character, back in the days of being a pinchhitter. We need, once we get the winner roast battle, to do a new one that is non cosmere characters. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herowannabe Posted November 14, 2018 Report Share Posted November 14, 2018 10 hours ago, Badadah said: Sorry Bit, but I have to vote for Hrathen. That was my first character, back in the days of being a pinchhitter. We need, once we get the winner roast battle, to do a new one that is non cosmere characters. Agreed. I suspect that when we do there will be a frantic scramble to claim David to rep. Bad metaphors AND rap roasting? Sparks that sounds even better than a potato in a mine field! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted November 14, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 14, 2018 @BitBitio? @Spacefaring Ferring? If you do not post within the next couple hours, I’ll have to hand the round to @John203. Sorry, guys. 6 hours ago, Herowannabe said: Agreed. I suspect that when we do there will be a frantic scramble to claim David to rep. Bad metaphors AND rap roasting? Sparks that sounds even better than a potato in a mine field! I have something special planned for the fifth tournament, so I’m thinking non-Cosmere for the sixth. Also, “potato in a minefield”... that’s a bad metaphor, a statement of truth, and an effective pickup line all rolled into one. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitBitio Posted November 14, 2018 Report Share Posted November 14, 2018 18 minutes ago, Ashspren said: @BitBitio? @Spacefaring Ferring? If you do not post within the next couple hours, I’ll have to hand the round to @John203. Sorry, guys. I have something special planned for the fifth tournament, so I’m thinking non-Cosmere for the sixth. Also, “potato in a minefield”... that’s a bad metaphor, a statement of truth, and an effective pickup line all rolled into one. I'll have mine up by 9:00 MST. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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