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Tournament: Cosmere Character Roast Battles


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5 hours ago, Toaster Retribution said:

How much time will we get to write the raps?

48 hours. Then, we’ll have a 24 hour voting period. The competition, in total, should take 21 days. I’ll start the competition in approximately 7 hours by announcing the first 4 people.

Edited by Ashspren
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First of all, thanks to everyone who signed up. Looking forward to reading all of the roasts!


Our first four characters are...

Spook, represented by @Zath

The Stormfather, represented by @Nathrangking

Lopen, represented by @BitBitio

The Lord Ruler, represented by @Matias


You will have 48 hours to post your roasts. If you do not post them within those 48 hours, you will be eliminated from the voting survey, and thus from the competition.


LET THE COSMERE CHARACTER ROAST BATTLE TOURNAMENT BEGIN!

Edited by Ashspren
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For a thousand years i've been in my throne
Who have disturbed my.... oh, it's you guys
Ahh let's get this over with


Are you serious? Do you want me to kill you?
You can't defeat me, i'm not like lord sidious
A blind guy, one-arm and loudy clouds
At least your not that blond guy betrayed by his wife

I touch the power of infinity, glorious Ruin
But for that, Scadrial it's not domm ,you see?

But even if i'm wrong, i make some basements
Because those are my people, I live for them!

Whit my army of koloss i take the control
Dont be confused, there are not like those ugly trolls
Maybe my inquisitors will have fun with you
Oh don't be scared, don't be like scooby doo

My journey is full of pain, horror and death
I honestly not sure if i can control this
But i'll try, because you do what you have to do
I'll kill as much i need, to stay this world complete

Its time to show you why im still in here
Just stop the revolutions, there is no match for me
When my allomancy and feruchemy are combined
There is no way to run, just to ryhme

Im the power of greatness, the one above all
Im the law that rules this big caos world
Im the sun that you don't see but you know is there
Im the darkness, the light, all in here

Im a killer, but also your protector
Im the one rashek, who take the job
To protect the people from great devastation
Im lord legislator, Ruin and Preservation

Edited by Matias
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Let's do this. (Will edit the rest in.)

***

 

You hear a scream, to your left, to your right.

What's going on? You're full of fright.

Are there chasmfiends here? Are they gonna eat you?

I don't think so cause, cause the Lopen is the true.

Dancin on the sky, soarin through the wind,

It is me. It is I. It is the Lopen.

You got two arms? Well I got one.

No wait, now I got two.

All the more reason for me to beat up you. 

You don't got no skills, you don't get to talk.

Cuz the Lopen will just Lash your mouth and seal it shut. 

I got what it takes, you know I'm the real deal.

While you're crying to your momma I am getting real.

 

Hey there Spook, how does it do?

Not as good as me cuz I am me and you are you.

But you can burn tin so you can see me win better.  

I am the one, the one with one arm. And I got a lot more talent in that one little arm.

Dancin on the sky, soarin through the wind,

it is me it is I it is the Lopen.

I can guarantee that I know the truth. 

And all you got is your self, ya big brute.

You think that you are macho?

I am the Gancho.

 

I have the gloryspren, floatin round me.

All you got is a little in your pants, it is pee.

Yo Stormfather, you all sad and alone? 

I know you were her dad.

But you know what?

I got the cousins from Herdaz.

I toughed out the bridge crews, sad little Rashek. 

What did you do, find a cure for a headache?

Now you all know, what it means to be great.

Don't try to stop me or I'll bash you on the pate.

 

You don't got no skills, you don't get to talk.

Cuz the Lopen will just Lash your mouth and seal it shut.

Edited by BitBitio
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Seeing as all four people submitted their raps, I'm just going to send the link to the form right now. 

Before the voting starts, I just wanted to say that all of the raps were AMAZING, and I laughed so hard reading all of them!

https://goo.gl/forms/3qFCCGn77NaUx9W42

The form will no longer be accepting responses in 24 hours.

VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!!!!!

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Bravo to everyone in round 1! Fantastic job all of you!

Now I really want to play. When can we sign up for *round 2? :lol:

*EDIT: meaning the next tournament, not the next round of this tournament, of course. 

Edited by Herowannabe
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3 minutes ago, Zath said:

Thanks! :D  And great roasts, Nathrangking, Bitbitio, and Matias!

@Ashspren, I'm assuming that the four of us are NOT allowed to vote this round, correct?

Nope! You can vote! Don’t worry about it— it’s completely anonymous. I would vote for myself, so... :P

Edited by Ashspren
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24 minutes ago, Ashspren said:

Nope! You can vote! Don’t worry about it— it’s completely anonymous. I would vote for myself, so... :P

Oh!  Well, in that case...

*shamelessly votes for self*  Spook's the best!  Who's the best?  Spook's the best!  You know it!  :P :lol:

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