Borio Singaldi Posted September 19, 2018 Report Share Posted September 19, 2018 Well, this would be my first rap battle as well. Might as well start with the best, I guess. 'Cause no gancho or naco can tangle with the likes of the one-and-only The Lopen. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ink Posted September 20, 2018 Report Share Posted September 20, 2018 13 hours ago, Firerust said: Phooey, I don't know if I'm up for this. I mean, I have some writing skill, but not on a make-an-epic-roast-rap-in-under-48-hours level. Though at the same time, the dumb and daring part of my brain is willing to give it a try... Eh, even if you suck at it (like me) it's fun. Especially when you get rekt by someone else and have to retaliate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herowannabe Posted September 20, 2018 Report Share Posted September 20, 2018 12 hours ago, Firerust said: Well, this would be my first rap battle as well. Might as well start with the best, I guess. 'Cause no gancho or naco can tangle with the likes of the one-and-only The Lopen. Just do what I do and put it off until late in the evening and then hurry and write out a rap before bed, except that you want it to be really good so you keep working on it and tweaking it and adding things over the next several hours until before you know it it's 3am and you're brain is so fuzzy that you can't think clearly enough to rhyme any more and so you finally give up and hit the "submit" button. On second thought, don't do what I do... 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felt Posted September 20, 2018 Report Share Posted September 20, 2018 Ill sign up, can I take Cultivation? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted September 20, 2018 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2018 (edited) 55 minutes ago, Felt said: Ill sign up, can I take Cultivation? Sure, you’re in! 9 hours ago, Herowannabe said: Just do what I do and put it off until late in the evening and then hurry and write out a rap before bed, except that you want it to be really good so you keep working on it and tweaking it and adding things over the next several hours until before you know it it's 3am and you're brain is so fuzzy that you can't think clearly enough to rhyme any more and so you finally give up and hit the "submit" button. On second thought, don't do what I do... That’s dedication, but I think that @hoiditthroughthegrapevine wins this one. Three more people! Tag/PM/Tell your friends or other users who you think would be interested! Edited September 20, 2018 by Ashspren 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine Posted September 23, 2018 Report Share Posted September 23, 2018 On 9/20/2018 at 7:00 AM, Ashspren said: That’s dedication, but I think that @hoiditthroughthegrapevine wins this one. I think with Cosmere character roasts everybody wins . I've been off the shard for a bit (work, sheesh), but freaking awesome final roast @Archer and nice one too @Edgedancer Jak, pretty close on that one, but again the annotations were brilliant. Funny thing is, I was checking on the shard to look at information for the Skyward book tour, and I was shocked to see that I was "Hoid Can't Compete": Freaking awesome, even though after some internet research, I'm still not entirely sure what that means. I would sign up for the next round as Steris, I know I was just in the last round but I think the Universe could use more Steris-lization... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezzik Posted September 23, 2018 Report Share Posted September 23, 2018 5 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said: Freaking awesome, even though after some internet research, I'm still not entirely sure what that means. You have exactly 1337 Reputation 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Ark1002 Posted September 24, 2018 Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 Screw this, why not. I'm joining. Just don't expect greatness. I'll be *Blanks for literally 10 minutes* TALN! I'LL BE TALN! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I think I am here. Posted September 24, 2018 Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 A wise choice indeed... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted September 24, 2018 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 I've decided to start the tournament off with 15 people – don't worry, everything will work out the same as it usually does. In fact, in this case, this works out really well... To kick off Tournament 3, our first three competitors are the Hemalurgic Trio... @Herowannabe, with Human the Koloss! @Inklingspren, with TenSoon! @Sorana, with Marsh! LET TOURNAMENT 3 OF THE ROAST BATTLES... BEGIN! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sorana Posted September 24, 2018 Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 Puhh... I'll try to post within the 48 hours, but it could be close. Sry, I'm on my way back from our holiday... I'll find a way 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ink Posted September 24, 2018 Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 ah, great. Marsh and Human. Well... agh. I'll get to work. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herowannabe Posted September 24, 2018 Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 3 hours ago, Ashspren said: I've decided to start the tournament off with 15 people – don't worry, everything will work out the same as it usually does. In fact, in this case, this works out really well... To kick off Tournament 3, our first three competitors are the Hemalurgic Trio... @Herowannabe, with Human the Koloss! @Inklingspren, with TenSoon! @Sorana, with Marsh! LET TOURNAMENT 3 OF THE ROAST BATTLES... BEGIN! Quick question/suggestion: With 15 players, I'm assuming 3 rounds with 4 contestants and 1 round with 3 contestants. Wouldn't it be better to save the grouping of 3 players until the last round? That way if you have any latecomers you can round it out to an even 4 players/round. Or are you planning 5 rounds of 3 players each? Regardless, I suppose I better get started on my raps... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ink Posted September 24, 2018 Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 4 minutes ago, Herowannabe said: Quick question/suggestion: With 15 players, I'm assuming 3 rounds with 4 contestants and 1 round with 3 contestants. Wouldn't it be better to save the grouping of 3 players until the last round? That way if you have any latecomers you can round it out to an even 4 players/round. Or are you planning 5 rounds of 3 players each? Regardless, I suppose I better get started on my raps... If you do this again, that's a good suggestion. Not like all three of us want to procrastinate... Good luck you too! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sorana Posted September 25, 2018 Report Share Posted September 25, 2018 (edited) Thanks and good luck to you, too! Beware the unbelievable Mistborn Edition of the Cosmere Characters Roast Battles will start soon! *starts thinking* ========= EDIT Here's my entry. I'm not completely satisfied, but I'm on my way to the airport and it's that or nothing. As usual I'd like to thank @Ashsprenfor organizing this. And for letting me participate in every Battle so far @Herowannabe and @Inklingspren I really look forward to read what you thought about! Spoilered because of MB spoilers (no surprise here ) Spoiler Dedication All welcome the mighty koloss, Ready to follow your new boss? Oh, you still pretend to be human? It's all right, I'll leave you dreaming. Wake up! You're jailed, You're rebellion has failed! And thank to your spike, I can control you as long as I like! TenSoon our little Kandra, looking for some bones, I wonder? No need to be hesistant, Fresh from the graveyrad - a present! In return let me pluck out your spikes, Untill you're jellyfish-like. No need to fight, or even a war I'll put your glibbering mass into a jar. I am a steel Inquisitor, or rather My name is Marsh - Kelsier's brother Inflotrating the ministry is a risky deed, Which I pulled off for his plans to succeed Where other rebellions failed so far, Ours succeeded in a beautiful war I'll never stop fighting for what I believe in, And since I'm immortal - I'm sure that I'll win! Edited September 26, 2018 by Sorana 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Herowannabe Posted September 26, 2018 Popular Post Report Share Posted September 26, 2018 Nicely done @Sorana! Here's Human's rap, complete with custom Koloss smilies! Major Mistborn spoilers: Spoiler What’s that thing so big and loomin’? I’m not Koloss I am HUMAN! Think I’m lying? Well then you're wrong I beat you now with rhyming song First I will insult TenSoon-y Why are you so small and puny? Tiny, little, hairy puppy When you gonna start grow uppy? You do nothing while Vin in fight You just sit and scratch at flea bite You follow her and lick her feet You hoping she will give you treat? You sad that you got put in cage? Try that on me I get ENRAGED! You urge Kandra to fear the mists Your words are dumb just use your FISTS I’m done with you now little mutt Go find poodle and sniff its butt ‘Cause now I have some bars so harsh For wimpy, stupid, ugly Marsh You put tattoos around your eyes You think that makes a good disguise? You tried to infiltrate that place But it just got you stabbed in face Now Ruin made you “Ultimo” But you don’t care you’re still emo So while you sit and gather ash I go and BASH and SLASH and SMASH! But we know how the story ENDS You go and KILL your stupid FRIENDS. I HATE you Marsh and you too DOG The RAGE fills me… I wanna... GRRAAAAUUUUUUUGGGH!!! . . ***KOLOSS BLOOD FRENZY!!!!!*** . . I KILL YOU ALL COME TASTE DEFEAT YOU’RE WEAK AND SMALL YOU CAN’T COMPETE I BREAK YOUR BONES CHOP YOU WITH SWORDS SMASH YOU WITH STONES HANG YOU WITH CORDS I FLAY YOUR SKIN HACK YOUR INSIDES TEAR LIMB FROM LIMB AND GOUGE YOUR EYES I SPLIT YOUR HEAD AND SPILL YOUR BLOOD AND LEAVE YOU DEAD FACEDOWN IN MUD PUT SKULLS ON PIKES SHOW ALL YOU LOST HARVEST YOUR SPIKES MAKE MORE KOLOSS THEN TAKE YOUR CORPSE AND MAKE A STEW AND GET SOME FORKS THEN I EAT YOU!!!! 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sorana Posted September 26, 2018 Report Share Posted September 26, 2018 (edited) @Herowannabe Thanks! And yours is great. I had to laugh so much, especially at the end!! Edited September 26, 2018 by Sorana 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ink Posted September 26, 2018 Report Share Posted September 26, 2018 (edited) Alright, my turn. It's far from my best work, I had more homework than I thought last night so I wrote this right before going to bed. MB spoilers Spoiler Spikes have we three, it's easy to see. The diff'rence 'tween us is I'm more than free I'm a kandra, a Faceless immortal You wanna fight me? You make me chortle. I've lived for ages, seen kings come and go. You're both young, its beginning to show. I'll live forever, but death (not Marsh) comes for you Nuff about me, cause I'm more than goo. Marshmallow, "Death" "the last Inquisitor" Man, your tasks and lines are such a bore You have a lot of spikes, that's one thing for sure Too bad you don't have mental ones, you could use four You are Death? Ha, i see through your deception. You've got flaws, while I'm pure perfection Spiking you, they needed a cross-section. You stood still, being buried by ash While there were villains out there, villains like Moash. I'm through with you, marshy mc swampface On to someone even less than your pace. Human, koloss-man, you're anything but. Want to be one, but don't have the gut. Smarter than most 'loss, though not by much You lose your will at the slightest (allomantic) touch. Kill and kill is all you do You really should be in a zoo. Animals like you, weak as a mouse. Its easy for me to bring down a Great House. You made a friend, oh that's nice. Too bad she likes me, and I don't have lice Both machines of war, though I'm more useful To match your strength, your words have no pull All this rapping seems to have extracted a toll I'll still be here, when eras have passed You, my friend, are a thing of the past. Creatures of Ruin, though not all of ruin. Failing your jobs, you seem to be doin' I work hard, a servant of Sazed While you from his gaze have fled. I'm TenSoon, kandra extrodinare. Coming out with lots of kandra flair. The perfect spy, assassin, or infiltration Stories 'bout me are told across the nation. Eat your bones and I become you. It's no wonder I'll win against you two. You guys did great @Herowannabe and @Sorana! May the best rap win. Edited September 26, 2018 by Inklingspren 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sorana Posted September 26, 2018 Report Share Posted September 26, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, Inklingspren said: Alright, my turn. It's far from my best work, I had more homework than I thought last night so I wrote this right before going to bed. MB spoilers Reveal hidden contents Spikes have we three, it's easy to see. The diff'rence 'tween us is I'm more than free I'm a kandra, a Faceless immortal You wanna fight me? You make me chortle. I've lived for ages, seen kings come and go. You're both young, its beginning to show. I'll live forever, but death (not Marsh) comes for you Nuff about me, cause I'm more than goo. Marshmallow, "Death" "the last Inquisitor" Man, your tasks and lines are such a bore You have a lot of spikes, that's one thing for sure Too bad you don't have mental ones, you could use four You are Death? Ha, i see through your deception. You've got flaws, while I'm pure perfection Spiking you, they needed a cross-section. You stood still, being buried by ash While there were villains out there, villains like Moash. I'm through with you, marshy mc swampface On to someone even less than your pace. Human, koloss-man, you're anything but. Want to be one, but don't have the gut. Smarter than most 'loss, though not by much You lose your will at the slightest (allomantic) touch. Kill and kill is all you do You really should be in a zoo. Animals like you, weak as a mouse. Its easy for me to bring down a Great House. You made a friend, oh that's nice. Too bad she likes me, and I don't have lice Both machines of war, though I'm more useful To match your strength, your words have no pull All this rapping seems to have extracted a toll I'll still be here, when eras have passed You, my friend, are a thing of the past. Creatures of Ruin, though not all of ruin. Failing your jobs, you seem to be doin' I work hard, a servant of Sazed While you from his gaze have fled. I'm TenSoon, kandra extrodinare. Coming out with lots of kandra flair. The perfect spy, assassin, or infiltration Stories 'bout me are told across the nation. Eat your bones and I become you. It's no wonder I'll win against you two. You guys did great @Herowannabe and @Sorana! May the best rap win. I was reading your rap while waiting for the boarding to begin, and half the people turned their heads when I started laughing out loud at the "Marshmallow". It's hillarious! Great job! Edited September 26, 2018 by Sorana 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted September 26, 2018 Author Report Share Posted September 26, 2018 https://goo.gl/forms/htGolzscARlZyNXV2 Here is the link! Awesome job you three! VOTE VOTE VOTE! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silva Posted September 26, 2018 Report Share Posted September 26, 2018 All of those were great @Sorana @Herowannabe and @Inklingspren! Great job! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitBitio Posted September 27, 2018 Report Share Posted September 27, 2018 (edited) On 9/23/2018 at 4:52 AM, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said: I think with Cosmere character roasts everybody wins . I've been off the shard for a bit (work, sheesh), but freaking awesome final roast @Archer and nice one too @Edgedancer Jak, pretty close on that one, but again the annotations were brilliant. Funny thing is, I was checking on the shard to look at information for the Skyward book tour, and I was shocked to see that I was "Hoid Can't Compete": Freaking awesome, even though after some internet research, I'm still not entirely sure what that means. I would sign up for the next round as Steris, I know I was just in the last round but I think the Universe could use more Steris-lization... 1337 becomes "Leet" which is short for elite. 'So elite Hoid can't compete.' UGHHHHHHHH THIS IS A REALLY HARD CHOICE Edited September 27, 2018 by BitBitio 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted September 27, 2018 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2018 And the winner is... @Herowannabe, with Human! Onto the next round... @Wyndlerunner, with Jasnah! @BitBitio, with Szeth! @Ark1002, with Taln! @Firerust, with Lopen! Good luck, everyone! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitBitio Posted September 27, 2018 Report Share Posted September 27, 2018 (edited) THE PRESSURE IS ON. edit: I just failed the 1200 post hold off test. Edited September 27, 2018 by BitBitio 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ink Posted September 27, 2018 Report Share Posted September 27, 2018 (edited) Well done @Herowannabe! Good game you two. Hey! It's a radiant/herald bunch! OB Spoiler Yes lopen is a radiant. Edited September 27, 2018 by Inklingspren 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.