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The Longest Thread (Misadventures)


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Cause they were jealous of him. Not of his knowledge. Not of his money. Not of his mind bending ability to count to 103857829184 in .103857829184 seconds. Not of his sweet backflips. Not of his perfect sense of humor. Not of his amazing writing skills. Not of his ability to not believe it’s not butter. Not of his ability to make Kaladin happy. Not of his talent in baking delicious, spike free cookies. Not of his ability to out-stubborn Kelsier. Not of his ability to mention Voidapple without being completely and totally obliterated by Voidus. Not even of his elegant mustache.

They were jealous of the fact that he had a type of beard that went perfectly with his name for the purpose of creating puns. They were jealous of the fact that he was a goat with a goatee.

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Technically, it was mostly the afromentioned goat's fault, but let's not split hairs here. They were successful in drawing the attention of local law enforcement, but that was a short lived predicament because, through the use of some Rapunzel-style lassoing, they were able to narrowly escape arrest. (It was a rather close shave.)

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