ElephantEarwax

The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

36,560 posts in this topic

Archer donated some vines for the funeral. Strangely, the mourners didn't appreciate being given six second videos. Archer blamed their poor taste on exposure to fourth wall dust. 

Edited by Archer
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The dust tasted rather bad, which is why it might affect the taste.

Goodness, 62.

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Archer was oblivious to the people's dislike of the vines, he kept playing them. Then one funeral goer started a revolt. It was none other than...

Edited by whattheHoid
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...a little dwarf with glowing red eyes and a huge hammer in his hand.

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His red eyes were caused by influence of Shard Autonomy.

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His name was Billy Amadeus Charles Wilson the Fourth(if you get this early thread reference, upvote)

Edited by BitBitio the Mudkip
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He gathered his supporters and started to pull out some sand. He mastered it into a blade and slashed the device playing the vines and declared himself Emperor of all Vines. Arnold started to cry, he worked real hard on his vines.

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Unnoticed, and irrelevant, Jasnah Kholin elsecalled into a nearby building

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6 minutes ago, BitBitio the Mudkip said:

His name was Billy Amadeus Charles Wilson the Fourth(if you get this early thread reference, upvote)

To clarify, I meant I'LL upvote YOU

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Then one if the other narrators duplicated an exact copy of every non-cannon character in the story and made it that no cataclysm of this level could ever happen again.

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Then all the other narrators blew the narrator to pieces, and destroyed every trace of non cannonity in the universe.

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The Universe implodes for the second time, lacking the ability to handle the destruction of non cannonity.

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The imploded universe was loaded into a cannonity cannon and shot in the general direction of Butt. 

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19 hours ago, Archer said:

Strangely, the mourners didn't appreciate been given six second videos.

Is this the reference I think it is? :lol:

The universe hit Butt in the face. As might be expected, this was BAD. It really hurt.

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Some vines got stuck in his teeth.

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After the funeral they had a feast to celebrate the life of Brandy, Which, short as it was, was filled with exiting pictures, taxes that never were payed, and a suit of living Shardplate.

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2 minutes ago, Dunc4n said:

After the funeral they had a feast to celebrate the life of Brandy, Which, short as it was, was filled with exiting pictures, taxes that never were payed, and a suit of living Shardplate.

His greatest secret was that the pictures had actually ENTERED. Upon everyone finding this out, a few people fainted.

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Butt called a medic, who also fainted due to the stress of seeing the entire contents of a funeral passed out--even the doves.

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The medic arrived saw the shiny Shardplate and took it for himself and ran. Butt roused himself and promptly fainted again. This was all irrelevant.

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Teft saw the medic in Shardplate on his way to meet with Kaladin, and promptly fainted.

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Then the ghanderflaffles decided to help out. (They ignored being destroyed with the non-canon characters, as it was rather annoying.)

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Butt saw the ghanderflaffles, and, (Because they were supposed to be dead) Fainted once again.

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Butt was revived and saw Dalinar and Sadeas having a dance off. He fainted again.

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When he woke up, both men looked at him sorrowfully. "Now you know our secret..." Dalinar said

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"We have to ensure he never tells a soul, Dalinar." said Sadeas. "I'm sorry, I wish we didn't have to do this, Butt." said Dalinar. "Do what?" asked Butt, nervously.

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