5ith Ideal Posted July 3, 2018 Report Share Posted July 3, 2018 I faint of confusion. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerd3.14159265358979 Posted July 3, 2018 Report Share Posted July 3, 2018 As do all of the narrators. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devout Pathian Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 There was a long pause as the narrators recovered from their faints. So five days passed over the course of this one post. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitBitio Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 Then Butt fainted. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devout Pathian Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 And he was down for 6 days because he always has to do things better than everyone else. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whattheHoid Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 Butt recovered and forgave the narrators as some of them were reading about Rithmatists for the first time. As he woke up, he finally came up with a way to defeat Hagrid. It involved aluminum foil, gunpowder, a giant gumball, and stormlight. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devout Pathian Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 He set to work making his plan happen. First he needed to find the aluminum foil, pricy, pricy stuff. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whattheHoid Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 Luckily, Butt's credit was good so he took out a loan, albiet a large one that required the soul of his first-born son. He decided this was worth the risk. He took the loan. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 But Butt didn’t have a son. Yet... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whattheHoid Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 It was time to get back on the dating scene! Butt got excited, but then realized that the ghanderflaffle, Arnold, Brandy, and Hagrid had to approve and they would be there on all the dates. He needed to find a kinky, open-minded girl. But where to find such a gem? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemalurgic Headshot Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 He decided to put out a newspaper ad. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitBitio Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 He wanted to put the ad in the popular paper,..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whattheHoid Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 The ad said, "Looking for open-minded girl, who has an attraction to a shard with multiple personalities. Must also be willing to have a child and be willing to give up its soul. Must be fun and adventurous. Must like pigs. The rest is irrelevant. Contact me, Butt Venture via hemalurgic spike." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerd3.14159265358979 Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 The next day he woke up to find a spike in the back of his head with the soul of a girl who met his parameters in the back of his head. Her soul kept saying "I'll be with you if you can return my soul to my body." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 The girl’s name was Darla, and she was only slightly insane. Since most of the people Butt associated with were bordering on being psychopaths, this trait was appealing to Butt. It’d be nice to have someone in his life with a semi-intact mind. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidpen Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 He began work on corrupting her anyways, cause well adjusted people make for boring stories. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 He did this by constantly drilling into her mind that Reckoners was Cosmere. It hurt Butt’s mind and heart to have to do such a terrible thing, but it had to be done. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whattheHoid Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 And so, Darla got her body back and kept talking about Epics and how you could find them at the Dor and some such nonsense. It hurt Butt a lot, but Darla was a solid 8 and it was his fault for unhinging her further, so he dealt with it. They felt comfortable with each other and decided to take this relationship to a whole nutha level. *Cue porn music.* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidpen Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 This upsets AonEne. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerd3.14159265358979 Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 Then they decided to keep it PG and skipped ahead to when they had 12 daughters, but still no firstborn sons. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidpen Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 This was frustrating. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whattheHoid Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 This wasn't the most ideal of situations for Butt as Darla loved to nag a lot. But they still kept trying for that son, but no such luck. Butt tried to offer the soul of one or all of his daughters, but the loan offices wouldn't take them. He really needed that aluminum foil. Between Hagrid's incoherent rambles and Darla's nagging and his teenage daughters; Butt didn't know how much more he could take. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidpen Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 So he invented a time machine. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitBitio Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 And had a midlife crisis with his oldest friends, Arnold and Ghanderflaffle. They travelled back in time to the day that Brandy had last died, with eperons. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whattheHoid Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 This was before the arrival of Hagrid, so all in all Butt was pleased. But he didn't know how Hagrid came to be there in the first place, so he held a meeting with the other shards to prepare for Hagrid. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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