Dahak

Great Quotes misattributed to Sanderson's Characters.

68 posts in this topic

A mild amusement I've been involved in elsewhere is taking notable quotes and misattrributing them to other characters for the salke of generating wry grins and the occasional laugh or giggle.

So I thought we could do it here with Sanderson characters.

Both with quotes from  other sanderson characters:

"So there I was, standing in my chambers on the day before the world ended, facing my greatest adversary to date.
The royal wardrobe coordinator."
-- Jasnah Kholin

And not.

"Why are you smiling?' asked Steris.
'I'm relieved,' Wax said honestly. 'I was worried I'd given myself cadmium poisoning, or I had some mysterious disease. This is just someone trying to kill me."

“Reason is intelligence taking exercise. Imagination is intelligence with an erection.”
-- Hoid

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Oh dear, that Wax 'quote' fits him so perfectly.

"The wind does not respect a fool"
- The Stormfather

And slightly tweaked from the original:

" I can't believe it! My very first Oathgate trip! We're gonna have the BEST TIME. How much money do I get to spend on sweets and stuff? Oh, oh! Do bananas count as snacks?"
- Lift

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@Dahak I love that Jasnah one. Is that supposed to be an Alcatraz joke?

 

"I'm going to my room before you get us all killed or worse expelled!"                          Melody

"No Mr. Honor, I expect you to die".                   Odium

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Just now, Draginon said:

@Dahak I love that Jasnah one. Is that supposed to be an Alcatraz joke?

Opening of the fourth book IIRC.

--

"You’re dead, right?" Dalinar said slowly.
"Oh, yes. It’s one of those things one is pretty certain about." replied the Almighty.

 

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1 hour ago, Draginon said:

"No Mr. Honor, I expect you to die".                   Odium

Very nice. Running with this theme:

"There can only be one."
- Odium

And dipping into misattributed TV sci-fi quotes:

"We are all Bavadin."
- Autonomy

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Another response of Lady Jasnah's, when faced with a new and unique situation, was to look through the nearest libraries to see if it had ever happened before. This was, Shallan Davar reflected, a good survival trait. It meant that in times of danger you spent the day sitting very quietly in a building with very thick walls.

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49 minutes ago, Toaster Retribution said:

I am Stick.

Heretic.

I am a Stick.

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1 minute ago, Leyrann said:

Heretic.

I am a Stick.

Groot is the heretic here, not me. He didn't only steal the line, but also got it wrong.

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If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All Shards are bastards!'
- Narration, describing Hoid

So long and thanks for all the chouta!
- The Parshmen

It turns out you were only MOSTLY dead. See, mostly dead is still slightly alive.
- Nale, to Szeth

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@Weltall Speaking of Hitchhikers...

"The Windrunners hung in the sky in much the same way that a brick don't."

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2 hours ago, Weltall said:

 

It turns out you were only MOSTLY dead. See, mostly dead is still slightly alive.
- Nale, to Szeth

This one is literally perfect. Here's one from me:

"Fuzz, I've got a feeling were not in Luthadel anymore"

-Kelsier to Leras

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'Harmony does not require that you think of him, but he does require that you think ...' Lord Waxilium Ladrian.

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I'm late I'm late for a very unimportant feast- Hoid on is way to Middlefest.

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"There was a door, but it was terribly bashful, so Renarin politely pretended not to see it."

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On 4/16/2018 at 5:10 PM, Dahak said:

"There was a door, but it was terribly bashful, so Renarin politely pretended not to see it."

Is this originally from Eli Monpress?

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1 hour ago, Sunbird said:

Is this originally from Eli Monpress?

Slow Regard of Silent Things (Rothfuss)

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"This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost killed God-King Susebron." -Lightsong

"And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling bridgemen!" -Sadeas, after The Tower

"I'm not a psychopath; I'm a high-functioning sociopath. There's a difference." -Kelsier

Edited by Pagerunner
Removed OB Spoilers
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34 minutes ago, Elenion said:

"I'm not a psychopath; I'm a high-functioning sociopath. There's a difference." -Kelsier

"Brilliant! YES! Four serial suicides and now a note! Oh, it's Koloss Head Munching Day! Tillaume, I'll be late. Put the kettle on."
- Wax

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"You! Shall not! Pass!" -Dalinar

“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?” -Dalinar

“He who controls the spikes controls the universe.” -Ruin

“Books are keys that open many doors.” -Elend

Edited by Tesh
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One I got while watching a video last night

After the Lord Ruler kills Kelsier Vin says "You don't fight with Honor!" The Lord Ruler replies, while gesturing to Kelsier's corpse "He did"

Anyone who got that deserves a cookie of their choice

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@Draginon ASoIaF/GoT, Bronn versus Ser Whatsisface in Tyrion's trial at the Eyrie. xD And related:

"We heard you were dead!"
"I was, I'm better now"
- Spook and Kelsier

Or in a slightly more literary flavor:

"The report of my death was an exaggeration"
- Kelsier

Edited by Weltall
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"It's also a gun." - Ranette, explaining the Allomancer-specific guns to Wax

"But I saw you di - "  - Wayne

"NOPE. NEVER HAPPENED. EVERYTHING'S FINE. WAX IS FINE. NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS.

EEEVVVEEEEEEERRRR."  - Harmony

I am so going to make more of these. This thread will be the new memes thread! Or the new you know you're a Sanderfan when!

Yeah, no it won't. :P

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With apologies in advance to anyone this quote triggers:

"Hey! Listen!"
- Syl

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“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.”
-- Jasnah Kholin

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